You could also always just put some LSD in his morning OJ or coffee. That should make for a fun day for him.
[quote]DBCooper wrote:
slit his fucking throat[/quote]
Is your tattoo asymmetrical?
[quote]Mackk wrote:
[quote]DBCooper wrote:
slit his fucking throat[/quote]
Is your tattoo asymmetrical? [/quote]
No, I don’t believe so. I’m part of Mohawk Indian and the design running down my spine is the design from the Mohawk Peace Belt. It’s an old-ass belt that represented a peace accord between the Mohawks and the rest of the Iroquois Federation. The cross in the middle is a German Iron Cross since I’m also German. Above it is the Gonzo fist and above that are the words know your enemy, a quote from Sun Tzu, General Maxwell Taylor, and RATM.
But what does this have to do with April Fool’s Day?
[quote]DBCooper wrote:
download a shitload of kiddie porn onto his laptop, then just sit back and wait for the Feds…
feed his girlfriend a bunch of roofies, then fuck the shit out of her while filming the whole thing and post it on his favorite porn site. Do the same thing to his mom and his sister.
Get him so violently ill that he’s bed-ridden for a week straight by putting a little bit of shit in his food, hide his cellphone and laptop and sabotage his car engine so he’s essentially cut off from the world for a few days. When people ask where he’s at, say you haven’t seen him in a week or so, then bribe someone at the local newspaper to put his obituary in the paper every day until all his friends are convinced he’s dead.
If he’s an animal lover, go down to the local Humane Society and get a dog they’re about to put down. Get a nail gun and nail the fucking thing to his bedroom door and let it bleed out there.
Feed him roofies and take him to a gay bar, then just leave him there. He’ll wake up the next day with an asshole like a jar of mayonnaise.
Is he in school somewhere? Get his student ID# and his SS# and then have him “drop out”.
Go into his work. Approach his boss and ask him if it’s possible to attach your buddy’s wages because he’s owed you $800 for some smack you fronted him months ago and he won’t return your phone calls.
Wake him up every morning with a brick to the face.
Put a drop or two of Visine in his drink. Do this every single day for as long as you know him. When he complains that his stomach is totally fucked and he keeps shitting himself, give him some Pepto-Bismol and act really sympathetic. Don’t tell him that you diluted the Pepto with a bunch of Maalox.
When he leaves for work in the morning, hide down the street and when he drives by, throw a bowling ball through his windshield. When he returns home from work (assuming he hasn’t had the windshield replaced) throw a fucking Molotov cocktail into his car.[/quote]
This post is gold!
[quote]DBCooper wrote:
[quote]Mackk wrote:
[quote]DBCooper wrote:
slit his fucking throat[/quote]
Is your tattoo asymmetrical? [/quote]
No, I don’t believe so. I’m part of Mohawk Indian and the design running down my spine is the design from the Mohawk Peace Belt. It’s an old-ass belt that represented a peace accord between the Mohawks and the rest of the Iroquois Federation. The cross in the middle is a German Iron Cross since I’m also German. Above it is the Gonzo fist and above that are the words know your enemy, a quote from Sun Tzu, General Maxwell Taylor, and RATM.
But what does this have to do with April Fool’s Day?[/quote]
Nothing really, it just caught my eye. It really looks like the fist doesn’t align with the belt but I guess its just the picture.
the fuck is wrong with some of you… i need more ideas btw
the fuck is wrong with some of you… i need more ideas btw
[quote]Deadsion wrote:
the fuck is wrong with some of you… i need more ideas btw[/quote]
Reenact the second half of “Law Abiding Citizen”??
A couple years ago, we had a roommate who we always made fun of. One night after he fell asleep, we changed the time on every clock, including his cellphone. He was supposed to wake up at 7 in the morning, but with the time changed, he woke up at 3 AM. He got up, woke us up, we told him that we aren’t going to go to school today, he showered, got dressed, left, then came back after about 1 hour, when he got to school and it was locked. We laughed our asses off!
[quote]DBCooper wrote:
download a shitload of kiddie porn onto his laptop, then just sit back and wait for the Feds…
feed his girlfriend a bunch of roofies, then fuck the shit out of her while filming the whole thing and post it on his favorite porn site. Do the same thing to his mom and his sister.
Get him so violently ill that he’s bed-ridden for a week straight by putting a little bit of shit in his food, hide his cellphone and laptop and sabotage his car engine so he’s essentially cut off from the world for a few days. When people ask where he’s at, say you haven’t seen him in a week or so, then bribe someone at the local newspaper to put his obituary in the paper every day until all his friends are convinced he’s dead.
If he’s an animal lover, go down to the local Humane Society and get a dog they’re about to put down. Get a nail gun and nail the fucking thing to his bedroom door and let it bleed out there.
Feed him roofies and take him to a gay bar, then just leave him there. He’ll wake up the next day with an asshole like a jar of mayonnaise.
Is he in school somewhere? Get his student ID# and his SS# and then have him “drop out”.
Go into his work. Approach his boss and ask him if it’s possible to attach your buddy’s wages because he’s owed you $800 for some smack you fronted him months ago and he won’t return your phone calls.
Wake him up every morning with a brick to the face.
Put a drop or two of Visine in his drink. Do this every single day for as long as you know him. When he complains that his stomach is totally fucked and he keeps shitting himself, give him some Pepto-Bismol and act really sympathetic. Don’t tell him that you diluted the Pepto with a bunch of Maalox.
When he leaves for work in the morning, hide down the street and when he drives by, throw a bowling ball through his windshield. When he returns home from work (assuming he hasn’t had the windshield replaced) throw a fucking Molotov cocktail into his car.[/quote]
Dude…
This one will take the help of a friend…Buy some feeder crickets or grasshoppers from a pet store. When your roommate is asleep, you drop one in his mouth and have your friend ready to duct tape his mouth shut immediately after you drop it in there…
You can also use… worms, a goldfish, garter snake, or fuck it, brown recluse spider.
Roaches are attracted to ear wax. Save all of your ear wax and start putting it underneath his pillow. If there are any roaches anywhere near your place, they’ll eventually find their way to your buddy’s room, discover the ear wax and eventually set up shop in his ears while he’s asleep.
[quote]gbock wrote:
c’mon now V, we got DBcooper up in here sending his roomie on a one way ticket to an insane asylum, and jizzing into shampoo bottles, and all you got is “kitchen sink spray thingy?”
I like you man and have read some of your work but step your game up!
We did this to my roommate in college: invest in a smoke/fog machine, in the middle of the night use some tubing to pipe in the fog through the bottom of the door or through a vent, eventually the room will fill with so much smoke that the smoke dector WILL go off. Lock your roomates door so that he is trapped inside with all the smoke, you will figure out a way to trap him inside, shims work nice in the door frame or pennies. The startling confusion of the smoke alarm going off along with actual smoke in the room will cause anyone to go into a panic for fearing of burning alive, your goal is to get him to jump out the window.
Now if you want to be real mean lock the windows too…
[/quote]
Well I do live with my wife, so thats about as heavily as I’m going to tread on an april fools prank. Also Getting someone is nice, but it should be fun not just being an asshole. I mean you can be an asshole any day of the week, no need to wait for a special day to do it. April fools is about getting someone with a trick. At least where I’m from.
Now of course some of the things mentioned would be hilarious in a movie, maybe not so much in real life though.
V
[quote]Vegita wrote:
[quote]gbock wrote:
c’mon now V, we got DBcooper up in here sending his roomie on a one way ticket to an insane asylum, and jizzing into shampoo bottles, and all you got is “kitchen sink spray thingy?”
I like you man and have read some of your work but step your game up!
We did this to my roommate in college: invest in a smoke/fog machine, in the middle of the night use some tubing to pipe in the fog through the bottom of the door or through a vent, eventually the room will fill with so much smoke that the smoke dector WILL go off. Lock your roomates door so that he is trapped inside with all the smoke, you will figure out a way to trap him inside, shims work nice in the door frame or pennies. The startling confusion of the smoke alarm going off along with actual smoke in the room will cause anyone to go into a panic for fearing of burning alive, your goal is to get him to jump out the window.
Now if you want to be real mean lock the windows too…
[/quote]
Well I do live with my wife, so thats about as heavily as I’m going to tread on an april fools prank. Also Getting someone is nice, but it should be fun not just being an asshole. I mean you can be an asshole any day of the week, no need to wait for a special day to do it. April fools is about getting someone with a trick. At least where I’m from.
Now of course some of the things mentioned would be hilarious in a movie, maybe not so much in real life though.
V[/quote]
It’s April Fool’s Day EVERYDAY for me, except that I like to target people I don’t like. It makes the prank that much more satisfying. Plus, since this is a lifestyle choice and not a once-a-year thing, I have to expand my repertoire a little.