Haha, getting philosophical on me ! In 07 when I got out of jail to a 19yr girl who had my 2 week old daughter, it all came togeather, and I decided I’d had enough of drugs, violance, gangs, criminal activity, all that shit, so at 32 I moved to the small town she was from, where I didn’t know anyone, I’ve said all this before, but when it came to getting sober, I kept myself so busy, that it was easy.
When I got out and moved to be with her, I right away got busy working, two jobs, welding during the day, and Vice-Roy plant( pre-fab houses)at night, on top of this, I was putting togeather my gym, and getting ready to open that. I was so busy, it was easy to stay clean, sober, and law abiding, and I think I needed that time to be like that, to get some time under my belt.
Fast forward to two years ago, boom everything comes to a hault, I get put on bail, with condidtions so strict, I call it house arrest, and to be honset I think I needed that. Over the years since 07, since I became sober, I’ve become pretty spirtitual, and I believe things happen for a reason, just as with lifting, there’s lessons to be learned from rough times. I needed to be alone with my thoughts, sober thoughts. I spent 32yrs doing alot of dammage, I came from a fucked up home, and was an angry kid, spent alot of years transferring that pain and anger to other people, and the whole time basicaly suicidal, putting myself in life threatening situations, it’s fun to laugh at all the injuries I have, but it stems from me putting myself in life threatening spots, high speed chases, violent encounter’s ( usually with odds against me) even iron working, when ever somthing questionable came up to be done, I always voulenteerd ( grade 8 education making 100 grand a year, doing what no one else wanted to do)
I never understood any of this up until two years ago when I was put on house arrest, and I had time to think, and to realize I spent 32yrs trying to kill myself. I’d never admit that before two years ago. I became a well known and sought out iron worker, because of my willingness to take risks, I became a well known and sought out soilder for a criminal organization, because of my willingness to take risks, but really, in reality, I just didn’t care wheather I lived or died, and funny enough that made me desirable in my chosen profession’s
Anyway here’s what I know now, what I’ve learned in two years, I had to live through all that, to become this guy, so I can reach other kids, that are living the life I lived, I’m not a counsler, I’m a beat up worn out old soilder, who found a new way to live, an awesome way to live, these kids can see that, they see at my gym, they see it at the meeting’s I attend every week. I can reach people, that no one else can reach, because I’m that guy, I’ve kicked in doors, and done bad things, I’ve had my teeth knocked out by angry cops, and I’m on the other side of that,. proof, that anyone can turn it around. I can tell these kids there’s nothing good down that road, I took it to the end, there’s nothing there but death, and prison. I’ve had kids in my office, that I scared so bad they started crying, ‘’ You think your tougher than me, you think your going to make it in a lifestyle I couldn’t, if we were in jail, you’d be my bitch’’ These kids walk around like they’re some sort of gangster’s, and the only way to get through to them, is to break them down, and scare them, let them know if they keep going the way they’re going, they’re going to end up running into guys like me. Guys that will slap them upside they’re heads, take they’re drugs and money, and send them home top they’re mommy’s.
Anyway I went off on another rant, but this log is another way for me to reach people, guys have to realize, we live in this world that glamnorizes drug dealing and crime, but in real life it’s scary, and someone has to wake them up, before they’re lives are ruined, or they’re dead. In the 5yrs I’ve had my gym, I’ve helped dozens of kids turn they’re lives around, I’m willing to fight them, fight for them, until they realize they’re not who they think they are, I’ve had atleat a half a dozen parents come in to meet me, tell me they’re sons talk about me, and how they’rer kids aditudes have changed since they joined my gym. I have a card up on the wall from a parent, thanking me for turning they’re sons life around, praising me and my gym
Kind of an old sterotype, the old gym owner, slapping kids up side the head, telling them to stay in school, but I guess thats me, and I’ve had two years to think about it, because the cops think I’m using these kids to sell my drugs, funny fucking world 
I feel clensed later
