Maybe I should have qualified that. Material expectations is what I mean here. I think many people put themselves on a self imposed treadmill of living pay check to pay check, never getting ahead, because they want the new whatever. An interesting MMM experiment is to buy nothing other than grocery and absolute necessities for a month.
I have never had a car payment. I buy cars with cash, and the most expensive one was $5500.
There is always unemployment. In FL, it is really damn hard to get, but it is possible to get if one jumps though all the hoops.
For me, I am trying to design a life in which we could live off of my wife’s income. I think we could do it now. Man, would it suck to have to job hunt though. Hopefully they keep me at my current place. I like it.
You will discover what you are good at, even if it’s not what you think it is. For example, you kick ass at math. I can count on one hand the number of engineering undergrads I knew who managed to get A’s in pure math courses beyond regular differential equations.
This dude switched into an insanely difficult class for you…He is definitely interested in you and in pursuing a stronger relationship
I believe these are bad metrics. Define “rich”. For me, monetary success is equal to the point where I no longer have to question if I really need something before I purchase it (i.e. do I really need organic meat/produce or does standard work? when I know I want organic). Does anyone but physique competitors really need abs? Prestigious grants are just proof you can write a good research abstract. Plenty of amazing researchers out there are doing incredible things without their name in mainstream media.
Change the mindset to setting appropriate expectations. I have been where you are chasing perfection (to an extent still am). It has been my experience that once one gets close to the perfection goal line, the goal line moves.
Unfortunately with my last couple cars I was not in a position to do this. This is how I am setting up for the future though. It also changed a little when I had kids and had to make sure I got the safest car possible (i know too much about physics to not have that).
couldn’t agree more!
Owning nice things is also a lot of self- imposed work.
Mum offered to buy me a nice silk night gown (my old one had a hole), but that means I’ll have to hand wash/ air dry it every week… no… thank you…
For me, money works like a scoreboard- more money = higher score = better
Caveat: I treat it like keeping score, not for use. That’s why I don’t like it when my parents give it to me/buy me stuff- it takes the sense of accomplishment out of money
If I had billions, I’d still be wearing cheap clothes, live in a mediocre house and living off of $350/month (inflation adjusted). The excess would go to investments, buying expensive shit for family members, charities and a research fund
I want to do this. If I feel that I’m doing amazing things without mass public recognition, all the better (I do not like public recognition)
This defines only economic success. The pursuit of this to fund charities/research is admirable, but money does not define a person. Some of the most interesting/kindest people i have ever met are those many would consider lower middle class or poor.
If we lived in a meritocracy this would be somewhat close to the truth. But we do not, as evidenced by son’s of billionaires being worth more than this entire forum combined despite working for none of it.
And how many skinny guys start off with abs?
Same goes for research grants btw. I’ve seen DOA projects get a lot of press and funding and truly groundbreaking stuff get nada.
Which all goes back to cybertron’s point that you should be happy within yourself, regardless of these benchmarks.
This is the problem with living on greater than/less than planes. Reality gets blurred by emotions. He’s better than me, she sucks, etc. It’s actually a really dangerous game.
It has a promising young woman at one of the most valued and challenging universities in the US questioning eroding her own confidence.
exacyly, which is why I also have other measures- like how good/impactful my papers are or how strong am I (being strong doesn’t really matter to society, but it’s important to me)
If I were dirt poor but doing well in research and killing it in the gym, I’d still be pretty happy
Accurate self evaluation of performance, emotional state, all kinds of things-can be great for some people, very bad for others.
For me it has always been very difficult and often absolutely poisonous as I vascilate between depressed and self loathing to near narcissistic arrogance.
As a friend of mine once said “I’m not much, but I’m all I think about! ”.
I can very much understand that. I too had to come to grips with that as well. Lately…while I’m proud of how far I’ve made it, I’m still okay, and accepting and proud of myself if I just…did something else. I’m still good, and while my success is going to be viewed differently according to society, I’d still think I was successful regardless. It’s taken so much weight off my shoulders concerning school, and things of that nature. I do my best, even that results in a low grade oh well. I still retained valuable info from that course, and while I may suck at tests, or whatever else, I don’t suck at applying the concepts practically in life.
Press: work up to heavy single- 95lbs PR!!!
Giant set 1: Press- row- swing, 2min rests
4x(6press+6rows+20alt 1- arm KBs)-70lbs, push- pressed the last two reps of less set
Super set : clean and press - curl, 2min rests
4x(8 clean and press-60lbs+10 curls-25lbs)
looks like all that press work paid off- but looks like I need to back off, holy crap the density- just kept moving. upper back and grip dead- hopefully won’t hinder deadlifts tomorrow, cleans harder than expected
Maybe give it some thought as you mature and grow up. Perspective is a gift (in my opinion). So many people lack it, to the point where if they actually tried to adopt more broader perspectives outside of themselves, it might cause some people to finally get out of whatever perceived inescapable dread/existential issues they face, or even help them avoid such issues altogether. Again…in my opinion.
I’m not good at math, or biology, or physics. But I’ve also stopped looking at such career paths as being “better than”. They’re necessary for society, but not “better than” in my opinion. I’m good at talking to people one on one, I’m gentle and precise with my word choice, I’m soft spoken, I’m patient, and I value connection interpersonally with individuals. None of that involve numbers. But it involves things most people suck at. Listening, not always having to have a retort, accepting a viewpoint completely different than my own, being patient, etc. Could I have gone with the typical STEM subjects? Yeah. And there’d be no problem with that.
But my point…I would say…is that I had to shift my perspective at some point to realize that I don’t have to be so caught up in whatever title comes after my name. Again, you’ve done exceptionally well, and this is something you like, you take interest in…I very much understand that, but just try to keep room for the things that you like. Things that haven’t been touched by whatever outside influences around you. The things that make you…you.
Fair enough. Maybe there’s things about you that you do that he thinks matter as well. Hence the value he finds in you as a friend. (Hint: there goes that perspective thing I mentioned)
And I absolutely agree, however my whole approach to you involves things that don’t concern society. Not that I’m dismissing such things, but merely suggesting room be made for other things. You can only give so much contribution to society. How much have you contributed to Anna being okay? (This is
rhetorical. You don’t owe me an answer, and that’s not you haven’t done things for yourself)
That’s what I try to get at when I talk to you. I learned that constantly telling you about food stuff/exercise stuff is redundant. Hell, I don’t even like when people approach me like that, concerning the things I’m going through, so why would I continue to do that to someone else. So I get it, I get where your headspace is at. And of course we have our youth on our side now, but when we get older we still carry with us these things that bothered us when we were young, but now it’s maybe compounded with age, work, children, etc.
So now we then have to dig past such metaphorically thick layers within ourselves to get to root issues that were right at the surface when we were younger. Does that make sense? You’ll always have these feelings. They’re normal. We all have them, we all will continue to have them, but to lasso these feelings and emotions and outlooks on life into something more rationale according to our own individual selves, for the betterment of our over-all well-being is what matters.
birthday workout, 110 reps = 5x22 = 5/22, absolute killer, started w/2 min rests, but that went out the window after the 5th set, ended up taking about 90 min
Didn’t feel too crap after, but today I learned just how many muscles are in the legs bc ALL of them are sore af… along w/pretty much everything else (some of its COVID vaccine) I don’t get how some of you guys do work the day after crazy workouts
Went to an expensive steakhouse for dinner. Ordered a 3lb tomahawk and split it w/little bro (I ate most of it)- felt like a bit fin a rip-off tbh. The bone weighed at least 12 oz
Getting colonoscopy and blood work tomorrow, so no training until Tuesday
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