Because I am. I am very cheap when it comes to myself and I don’t like having a lot of stuff- too lazy to deal with it. Also, when I do buy new clothes, it’s always the same style, preferably the same item too 
Just last year, my mom threw out some t- shirts I’d been wearing since 6th grade (I’m a sophomore in university)
That is a very long time spent at the same clothing size.
I was still chubby in 6th grade and not much shorter. I downsized in 7th grade and resized in 10th grade. Due to the large size of American clothing, I’m always an xs
Before the story was that you were chubby in 3rd grade and slimmed down in 4th 
You misunderstood. I say I was chubby in 3rd grade because that was when I was the chubbiest
Didn’t slim down significantly in 4th but less chubby
A LOT of stuff changed in 3rd grade
I don’t feel I have misunderstood much here.
For reference was 97lbs (no muscle) in 3rd grade.
And you are still punishing yourself for a crime you committed when you were 8.
I’d say it’s more fear than punishment. I never again want to be chubby.
With that said, you used to be punished for a crime your great grandpa committed 50 years ago
@dt79 @whang
Which I feel speaks to an inability to recognize what is occurring.
Until you can forgive yourself, you will be stuck.
I feel like you should let your therapist read this log.
If he/ she actually puts in the work and gets through it, it would probably propell your progress.
I’ll consider. She’s still getting to know me as a person, and while everything I’ve posted about myself on this log is true, there’s a LOT that’s not covered
Fun stuff and daily work (yesterday)
3min EMOM- 15 burpees
4x(10rows/side-20lbs+10towel pull apart rows+10 Y to Ws)
@kdjohn should I keep doing daily work?
Today’s “workout”
37min fitness blender kickboxing (10 min of it is a warmup and cooldown btw)
Of course it is only a glimpse into you as a person. The dynamic of the conversations here is what might interest her. I don’t know if you notice this yourself but people have been repeating the same things over and over for a really long time now it is apparent to everyone that you haven’t been able to absorb them.
People have told you - virtually - in your face that your behavior is self harming and where this might lead you to and still you haven’t been able to change your behavior substantially.
That’s not critic at your persona, I’m merely pointing out why this log is a good entry into how your thought process works. There are a lot more examples that I could pick from the conversations in here. The point overall is, that this might highlight things that could help your therapist and therefor you.
Do with that statement what you like. There are more ways of letting him/ her have access to these trains of thoughts and conversations that have been going on in here, than providing the URL. You do absolutely need to be brutally honest about this though.
If this in reference to the program outlined above, absolutely not.
If it’s in reference to the remainder of the week and the recommendation that you just take a chill pill, also no.
Let your body recover. Let it rest. If you desperately need to do something physical, do 15 minutes of yoga before bed. Find a “bedtime yoga” routine. This is about abandoning a broken way of navigating life and getting ready to start fresh. It goes beyond just “starting a new program”.
Or you lived in shame like a Ronin.
Wait, are we talking about commie shit or wuxia novels?
I’m SERIOUSLY not seeing any issue with her weight. She looks like the average female Southern Chinese teen but with more muscle and less fat. My wife’s weight is about the same and I think their heights are similar.
Seriously, some Chinese girls I grew up with who were underfed were much skinnier but never seemed to have any health problems.
@anna I think you’re overdoing the cardio, though. But then I know people who do those kind of marathons(I don’t know what it’s called) which involve cycling, swimming and running and 2 guys in their 40s and 50s respectively(one is a programmer and the other is a psychiatrist so they’re both nuts) who train for full marathons so I don’t know whether it’s excessive health wise or not, but it’s pretty redundant for your goals.
both- even the the commies couldn’t overturn almighty Chinese culture
I recalled a phrase from Ranma 1/2(Japanese anime) yesterday while writing something about cartoons:
“At the highest level of Chinese kungfu, one is able to blend with the elements and become invisible. (Shockingly obvious refence to the qian kun da nuo yi skill from the *Heavenly Sword and Dragon Sabre’ novel since it’s a Japanese show.) They mastered it so they could peep at girls bathing.”
Loved that show.
yeah, I definitely didn’t get the nice “skinny asian genes”. My grandparents always said I was 结实 （sturdy), which when referring to girls is basically a nicer way of saying I was fat
On the bright side, I had the reputation in primary and middle school of being able to beat people up even though I was always one of the smallest ppl in the class, so I guess ppl thought I was strong