You don’t look horrible, you look fine. It’s actually hard to tell a difference between now and before but if anything I’d say you are trending in the right direction.
I haven’t read your training sessions in that much detail recently, so I might be writing something that doesn’t apply, but it was my impression in the past that you have attempted to train to illicit hypertrophy and ordinarily your gym work is mostly strength oriented. Strength is primarily neurological, and I believe it will return quite rapidly once you are able to return to ordinary lifting. I’ll happily highlight that your strength-to-bodyweight ratio is quite something, although I’d be absolutely applauding if you are willing to focus more on absolute strength and bring your bodyweight up to support that while seeing the ratio reduced.
I digress. If I was forced out of the gym thanks to the gyms shutting down I know I wouldn’t necessarily be able to emulate my experience in there very well, and I’d presumably be unhappy if I tried to emulate it as it would just be a bad facsimile. Instead, it could be viewed as an opportunity to address the gaps that training have missed over the years and thus have a better balanced body on which to build further strength with once normality returns somewhat.
Generally, lifters are likely to have some inward shoulder rotation, and as far as my own concerns go I’d personally invest my time heavily toward doing band pull-aparts, shoulder dislocates, and YTWs to build my lower and middle traps. All of my other ideas are more specific to my weaknesses, but there are so many things I could work on bringing up without needing a barbell.
I encourage you to give it a moments thought, to see if you yourself wouldn’t be able to bring up some weak links in your kinetic chain and that every exercise has a genuine purpose. I hope that would frustrate you less than not being able to emulate a modality you want to engage in.
As far as your reply to @T3hPwnisher (now removed) and what @flappinit wrote again you play the comparison game while ignoring that said individual has had many more decades to invest in the pursuit in which you are comparing yourself against them than you’ve spent years living. And, arguably, remain blind to that you actually do more stuff in total than that person.
I’m familiar with the trap of doing too much at the same time, and my mind does get stuck in the “more is more, more is more is more is more. More has to be better because it is more.”-mentality.
And yet, is it?
These are our training logs this is not the competition floor. Among the logs there are people younger, older, stronger, faster, on (and not on) anabolic steroids, that defeat me in any measurement I try to progress in. In a competition setting, they are “better” than me. If I run my head into the wall trying to catch up or beat them, or emulate them, so much so that I’m not even alive 40 years down the line not only did I fail to meet a measure of success in this current instant but also long-term.
I’m not anti-competition, but challenge yourself against yourself. You can continue on this me-vs-you path that you are on, which doesn’t seem to be working well for your well-being, or you can find that it is a “me-vs-the-bar” or “me-vs-it” pursuit that you are engaging in.
The way I look at it, in the context of the community, is that it is a “us versus ourselves”-engagement. And, if you look at how people engage with one another on here, what is so beautiful about this community is that rarely do we focus on applauding absolute numbers. We see progress. We acknowledge when someone becomes better than they were. Because everyone here that’s been around for a while has at some point lifted or trained with less than what they do now.
People that manage to finish cycles of 531 consistently, or do what they set out to, they get pats on the back, support, and applause. Ironically, people that present “accomplishments” (crazy good physiques and/or beastly numbers) usually just get prodded for “tricks” so people can “catch up”. Side-note: whenever the answer is “consistency”, a lot of us (myself included) fail to listen.
And if you cannot get out of the competition mindset, the hard truth is this: If you want to beat someone at a thing, then everything they do (or abstain from doing) that further separates their performance from yours makes what they did/didn’t right and everything you did/didn’t wrong.
