I think this sentence needs emphasis.
It’s worth noting that the only actual mental health professional on this site has removed herself from this log. My opinion is that my role here is not to act in place of the professionals but to guide anna to them in the same way that if someone has a heart attack by the side of the road, my job is not to try and carry out open heart surgery but to get them to someone who can.
I know I’m one of these logs.
I’m literally eating every hour, on the hour, in order to support my current training. I have my own “grill nights” where I cut loose and just eat until I can’t, and those are GOOD nights for my goals. I didn’t just increase my calories by 100 a day.
You are always willing to copy the easy part of my training, which is to say, the training itself. You’re never willing to do the hard part: the recovery. And then you wanna beat yourself up for not doing the easy part hard enough.
I genuinely am compelled to stop posting my training, knowing that it’s being used by someone to justify furthering an eating disorder. Please don’t put this guilt on me.
I’m sorry I’ve made you feel this way.
Would it be a good idea if I used the ignore function, at least in the short term?
I advised you to do that before.
Weekly checkin
Couldn’t be bothered to take a pic
Weight- 95.4 - I been in the 95s all week. However, this could be the result of more sodium, and being more blocked up than usual. Also, I’ve been eating dried dates before bed to help w/ the previous issue so the extra carbs might also add some water weight
If not, it means I’m doing this slow weight gain thing “right” to some extent. I was listening to a couple of podcasts/lectures by renaissance periodization on muscle gain and apparently small “random” weight spikes after a period of holding steady in a small surplus are common
Week 11: Day 6
Press: 5x12/side-25lbs
Seated Press: 5x8/side-25lbs
Rows: 20/side, 2x12/side, 6/side-25lbs, no rest btw sets
Week 12: day1
Sprints: 3x20m, 2x30m
Pistols: 2x4/side, 1x6/side!!!- 45lbs @Pinkylifting almost there!
Rdl: 4x5/side-3030 tempo 45lbs
RDLs burnedWeek 12: day2
50min run- distance unknown
Good old stress PRs!
Can help feeling this is related to:
This, I can do pistols but they feel horrible, can’t imagine adding weight to them!
Things change when you’re a midget
I’be also been doing them for nearly a decade now (picked it up during my failed stint in gymnastics) so I’ve had a lot of practice
I’m quite out of practice with running so my form definitely needs some help
That’s a big effort. Where is ‘there’? What’s the goal?
10/side by Christmas
Weekly checkin:
Pic:
The pic doesn’t capture it because it isn’t actually there. Still looks like the same pic as from 6 to 12 months back.
Seriously?
You still look underweight. You are a female, a naturally “softer” look is expected if you are healthy.
The pic is fine. You’re rolling your shoulder, but you appear to be doing a little better and your lifts are improving.
Try not to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
I’m okay with the weight gain this time since I PURPOSELY put myself in a surplue.
I’m a bit bummed about how I look because i DON’T KNOW why I used to be able to eat more while doing less and eating more
If I could figure out WHY, I’d be much happier knowing that i control how I look
You’re not dumb. I think you know the answer to that.
meh, debatable 
Is this referring to the the endocrine system rebelling or something? If that’s the case, I’m still confused as to why now when I’m actually trying to do better?
You aren’t.
Because your body does fucked up stuff when it’s in full-blown survival mode. You’re maybe eating enough to begin getting it out of survival mode now, but you’re not out of the woods yet. You won’t be until you maintain a healthy weight long enough for your metabolism to normalize. You’re going to kick yourself when you understand how much you’re hurting your quality of life going on the way you are.
