Why is it?
Figuring out her point of view will go a long way towards finding a resolution.
She’s under the assumption that heavy lifting is damaging, particularly for women. Her idea of “heavy” is anything more than 20lbs.
She also thinks I should be okay with not progressing and doesn’t believe in progressive overload.
From a kidney perspective, heavier training → lower reps → less muscle damage → less stress on kidneys. At the same time, my goals are powerlifting specific so even practicing the movements will go a long way. Basically, getting more reward for less damage.
But you’ve only gained strength since you last touched a barbell.
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We need to make sure our mothers never meet. These are very, very familiar sentiments, almost exactly the same as what I used to be told 
. To be fair, my mum eventually got used to my training, but she still disagrees with me on diet.
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My family (not just mum) disagrees with my dietary approaches. However, I’m an adult so they can’t do anything about it. They used to make me eat stir fries (with vegetable oils) because they thought “oil” was necessary in the diet.
She’s right to, your dietary approach is literally killing you.
Can you see why this might not build her confidence in your decision making abilities?
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So, let’s go over this again- what exactly is your goal? Because “get strong while staying lean as possible” isn’t remotely related to “powerlifting”, which is the pursuit of getting as strong as possible in three specific barbell lifts.
You don’t even fit into any of the women’s powerlifting weight classes (at least, the ones that I am aware of, but powerlifting is weird and I don’t even know if there’s a unified standard of weight classes)!
You’re too fucking light for all of the ones I found online! I used powerliftingwatch to find the WR and found that the lightest women’s weight they have is 97lb. You wrote that you’re 95.6lb earlier, so you’re already 1.4lb lighter than her.
And I very doubt that the listed weight is the walking weight for any of these women.
Nothing you do makes sense to any of the goals you ever stated.
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You really ought not to criticize your parents for supposedly not knowing proper nutrition when you literally have hormone issues due to your eating patterns.
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Since I’m in a posting spree today-
Bullshit.
Make a sandbag. It’s literally as easy as getting a heavy-duty trashbag, heavy-duty tape, and some sand.
Make 5-10lb increments and shove them into a backpack and then use it to do weighted push-ups.
Too light? Doesn’t matter- do 100 reps with it and actually build some muscle.
Learn basic gymnastic movements, you’re certainly light enough. If you have no space to do a head/handstand then just do frog stands. Learn how to planche. Do you have space to learn how to roll?
Get one of those door pull-up bars and do pull-ups. If you don’t have these then go find a place where you can hang and do pull-ups.
Learn actual proper nutrition and how to eat for your goals… Heck, let’s go simpler than this- actually learn how to eat, because I’m no longer convinced that you even know how to do this.
Proper training =/= barbell lifting.
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Good points. So my more specific strength goals are to eventually deadlift 4x+ bodyweight and squat 3x+
My mom is even more against my improvised weights I’d been using my backpack for weighted walks. She saw me once and flipped out.
Because you are killing yourself in front of her.
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Having a few extra calories from some healthy fats is probably not a bad idea for you. You’re pretty light to say the least… I hate to use the BMI scale, but at your weight and height, you’re very low on the scale, maybe even legitimately underweight… you’re a lifter too, so in fact you should be higher than average, not lower. But to be honest, I think you’ve been hearing that for a long time from everyone else here.
@cyclonengineer turns out some of my classmates who reported “failing” scores in the 90s… no curve…
In that case I would hire a tutor.
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Yep, as a parent I understand the response. Don’t buy anything that would cause her to burn more calories until she gets her weight to a healthy level (at least 105 lbs consistently).
@anna_5588 we all have our demons to face. Best bet is to take them head on.
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It’s been explained to her multiple times. She keeps burying her head in the sand over it. She’s deceiving herself first, and those around her by extension.
It would be frustrating if it wasn’t so heart breaking. And she’ll ask her mom for money for a barbell but not money for therapy.
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Somewhere around 600 posts earlier. Anyone who is still offering advice without a comprehensive therapeutic plan is being actively manipulated at this point.
I would advise everyone to disengage and stop giving pointers immediately.
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[quote=“anna_5588, post:4214, topic:258235, full:true”]
Good points. So my more specific strength goals are to eventually deadlift 4x+ bodyweight and squat 3x+[/quote]
And, as many have said before, fixing your body will make this significantly easier to achieve.
As I’ve mentioned before- what you’re doing doesn’t require discipline Anna. In fact, it’s the opposite of being disciplined.
Being disciplined within this context is knowing what your goal is and doing what it takes to achieve it. You have a supposed goal but are doing nothing you need to do to help achieve it.
It’s genuinely disheartening that you’re missing the point I was trying to make with that post, and I assume you’re like this with your interactions with your folks as well.
To be fair- virtually everyone does this and it’s commonly referred to as having your head up your ass. I do know that, in the rare occasion when I get my head out of my ass and actually listen and apply what I heard, I benefit greatly from it.
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I’m very sorry I’ve made you feel this way. I promise I’m not trolling or posting with any malicious intent. All my posts are a reflection of how I actually feel.
Since this is an anonymous forum, I feel safe expressing my feelings here. I guess this is just the wrong place to do so.
I highly doubt any employer would be willing to track me down from an online fitness forum
You’re not trolling, I know that. You just need help that you can’t get here and every time you do get “help” here it’s just using people’s advice to steer the conversation away from what’s important. I’m not angry - I care, as a parent and as a friend.
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