I love how I can go into one of my physical or emotional funks, completely give up both working out and posting here for a few weeks, and I check back in and my thread is still going strong with interesing posts. I especially liked your post happydog.
I reached a low point unlike that of which I had ever found. My body and mind would just not function when I awoke in the morning. Plus, my son is now with me, and he needs help getting to school and such. I was in a panic.
I called up two friends I have, one a holistic specialist, the other a traditional psychiarist. Both were very concerned about me as they know me to normally be a high energy mover and shaker kind of guy.
The traditional psychiatrist gave me some Concerta which is a stimulant which also acts as an antidepressant for some people. The holistic practitioner did a bunch of saliva lab tests and determined that I had a complete adrenal shutdown, and gave me about a program of about thirty different vitamin type supplements to take each day.
He will also take over my testosterone and thyroid supplementation, and address my prostate situation.
I guess even though I've tried to be mentally tough, the body just gave out. However I feel like I've got some good help and should be feeling better soon, and getting back in the gym.
Hang in there Doc. Sounds like you have a measured approach and will be back in the iron soon. I sure hope so.
One of my Chinese customers told me the Chinese character for chaos is very close to the character for opportunity. So folk lore is “Out of chaos is opportunity.” Sounds like that is true with you.
I had a friend whose body gave out and he had depression he just could not shake until he got the right medication. Then he couldn’t do other things.
We talked and I told him that I thought it was easier to go through disasters than to have your body fail on you. So life is a trainwreck, as long as your coping mechanisms work … But if you lose the ability to cope, man that is hard.
I’m glad you got the help you needed. I’m glad you’ve got a gym too. I’ve been amazed at just how much working out can help.
Doc, I hope all is well with you. I started a new thread ‘everyones workouts’. I was wondering if you would post what your workouts were when you were training for the olympics. Just want to see how someone who worked up to a 420 clean trained. Thanks, eco
HEY GANG,
Ol Doc here just got a little less crazy. Took me the past month to finally face reality, but I just got rid of the thing causing me so much misery and distress-MY WIFE!
I loved her to the end, but she checked out of the marriage several years ago, I was just too blind to accept it. I’ll show her enough respect to not say what she’s been up to, but let’s say she didnt earn that respect.
As soon as we got it done, and we did it fast, I suddenly had the option...live again, or slowly die with regret and grief.
I’ve decided to live, started back with proper diet and working out three days ago and the spirit is back.
I’m in a new world, strange and certainly 180 degrees different than my dreams. But hey, after spending the last month arguing, yelling and drinking, it feels damn good to resume living the way I used to live.
Not only that, but I have a peculiar need to get “buff” again, might have something to do with “W.I.S.L.S.” (Woefully inadequate sex life syndrome.)
Good to be back. Doc
[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
HEY GANG,
Ol Doc here just got a little less crazy. Took me the past month to finally face reality, but I just got rid of the thing causing me so much misery and distress-MY WIFE!
I loved her to the end, but she checked out of the marriage several years ago, I was just too blind to accept it. I’ll show her enough respect to not say what she’s been up to, but let’s say she didnt earn that respect.
As soon as we got it done, and we did it fast, I suddenly had the option...live again, or slowly die with regret and grief.
I've decided to live, started back with proper diet and working out three days ago and the spirit is back.
I’m in a new world, strange and certainly 180 degrees different than my dreams. But hey, after spending the last month arguing, yelling and drinking, it feels damn good to resume living the way I used to live.
Not only that, but I have a peculiar need to get “buff” again, might have something to do with “W.I.S.L.S.” (Woefully inadequate sex life syndrome.)
Good to be back. Doc[/quote]
I’m glad you’ve decided to live. That can be a hard decision to find, but a good one. Glad you are back in the living.
I find it quite interesting that my love of iron has outlasted what I thought was the love of a lifetime (my wife.) Today was another workout and more satisfaction, even though I have managed to seriously decondition myself in the last couple of months.
I'm not sure what my exact training goals are going to be now, other than I am determined to do SOMETHING in the gym six days a week. I can't lift hard or heavy enough yet to need days off, and thats a good thing right now because I need the fix of a daily workout right now.
Besides wanting to regain muscle and strength and lose bodyfat, my other goal right now is to get my son into the gym with me. He's very pissed off at the ex and he's too busy killing people on playstation 3 to come to the gym with me. Tough call, when they're sixteen, trying to enoucourage them to come but not drag them to the gym.
I'm keeping my spirits up...but now I can realize why folks could look up to me last year...I was lifting hard, gaining fast, and had my son at my side. If it wasnt for the obvious other shit that blew up in my face, I really did have life by the balls for the better part of a year.
Maybe I can get there again. Now THAT would really be inspirational. Doc
Sounds like to me you’re grabbling it by the balls again. I can tell you why I look in and up to the Doc…you are human and its all out here. There is nothing more honest and moving than that.
I am looking forward to continuing your journey with you. Hope you don’t mind.
[quote]j_willy3 wrote:
Sounds like to me you’re grabbling it by the balls again. I can tell you why I look in and up to the Doc…you are human and its all out here. There is nothing more honest and moving than that.
I am looking forward to continuing your journey with you. Hope you don’t mind.[/quote]
When I was younger, I was a very private guy and marched through life with a silent, relentless determination. My ambition was just as intense and impenetrable as my belief in my ability to accomplish whatever I set my mind to.
Life has taught me that although this philosophy has its merits, it has an inherent flaw. We are human, and we cannot control all of the variables in the "equation" of life. Now, indeed humbled by bonecrushing disappointments in my finances and marriage, I have come to appreciate the value of sharing this very "human" journey I am on. I enjoy the fact that people find it interesting, and I am finding sharing my personal struggles with my colleagues and even certain patients has been surprisingly rewarding. Many who have known me for years are shocked by my problems, assuming I had life by the balls and always would. However, seeing me fall prey to so many of the common problems people face has just made me more human...and no one seems to doubt that I can come back from it. If they dont, I sure as hell better not doubt it. Doc
On the recent occasion of my birthday (57) I was approached at the party by a woman who asked me why I put so much effort into “recapturing my youth” and why can’t I be satisfied to “be what I am.” (This is a question that I seem to get a lot)
“Am I crazy?”[/quote]
My reply would have been, “I haven’t finished becoming who I am” and then to be a prick, “Don’t tell you’re satified”.
[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
j_willy3 wrote:
Sounds like to me you’re grabbling it by the balls again. I can tell you why I look in and up to the Doc…you are human and its all out here. There is nothing more honest and moving than that.
I am looking forward to continuing your journey with you. Hope you don’t mind.
When I was younger, I was a very private guy and marched through life with a silent, relentless determination. My ambition was just as intense and impenetrable as my belief in my ability to accomplish whatever I set my mind to.
Life has taught me that although this philosophy has its merits, it has an inherent flaw. We are human, and we cannot control all of the variables in the "equation" of life. Now, indeed humbled by bonecrushing disappointments in my finances and marriage, I have come to appreciate the value of sharing this very "human" journey I am on. I enjoy the fact that people find it interesting, and I am finding sharing my personal struggles with my colleagues and even certain patients has been surprisingly rewarding. Many who have known me for years are shocked by my problems, assuming I had life by the balls and always would. However, seeing me fall prey to so many of the common problems people face has just made me more human...and no one seems to doubt that I can come back from it. If they dont, I sure as hell better not doubt it. Doc
[/quote]
Doc. Your journey has just begun. Maybe you still have a few cobwebs to shake off. Which is understandable. Now you are single again and it is a freedom in it’s self. It will be awhile before you can fully appreciate it.
I live the life I choose. I answer only to me and have only myself to blame for any screw ups. I eat clean because there is nothing else in my home. Most important, I can workout at anytime. My workouts have priority over evrything and I am content.
Free your mind and soul Doc and come sore with the eagles. The view is spectacular and the feeling is inspiring. Stay strong, live long and don’t look back you,ve already been there.
[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
j_willy3 wrote:
Sounds like to me you’re grabbling it by the balls again. I can tell you why I look in and up to the Doc…you are human and its all out here. There is nothing more honest and moving than that.
I am looking forward to continuing your journey with you. Hope you don’t mind.
When I was younger, I was a very private guy and marched through life with a silent, relentless determination. My ambition was just as intense and impenetrable as my belief in my ability to accomplish whatever I set my mind to.
Life has taught me that although this philosophy has its merits, it has an inherent flaw. We are human, and we cannot control all of the variables in the "equation" of life. Now, indeed humbled by bonecrushing disappointments in my finances and marriage, I have come to appreciate the value of sharing this very "human" journey I am on. I enjoy the fact that people find it interesting, and I am finding sharing my personal struggles with my colleagues and even certain patients has been surprisingly rewarding. Many who have known me for years are shocked by my problems, assuming I had life by the balls and always would. However, seeing me fall prey to so many of the common problems people face has just made me more human...and no one seems to doubt that I can come back from it. If they dont, I sure as hell better not doubt it. Doc
[/quote]
There’s a lot to be said for stoicism, but, as the saying goes, “No man is an island.” Sometimes our trials and failures open up avenues and abilities in ourselves that make life more meaningful, bring us to a better understanding ourselves and of those around us and allow us to let others care for/about us, when we otherwise might not.
FIrst, thanks skidmark and streamline for your comments…I am truly in a new, uncharted phase of my life and for once I’ll freely admit I don’t always know how to handle things. I am by nature analytical, a born shrink I guess, and there is a natural tendency for me to obsess about the past now and the “what if” questions abound. But it is very clear, when I do this, it just depresses me and usually gets me nowhere. I know I made some big mistakes financially, putting all my money into real estate, but I put everything I had into juggling the needs of my son, my wife, my career, my sick parents, and lastly, my personal needs. I accept responsibility for my current life situation even though I know damn well I tried alot harder to make it all work than the ex. Does it matter if it was 90% her fault or only 50%? I guess at this point it just doesnt and I gotta accept that.
Further, I am blessed with things in the now. Friends are stepping up now from many sources, including here. And my best friend is my son. Last night we were watching some movie, and the themes of bad marriages and cheating women unexpectedly came up and I got real uncomfortable. He said "Dad, screw this movie, let's watch something funny." So we watched an old DVD of mine he's been dying to watch but I didnt feel he was ready for, old Richard Pryor stand up. We laughed our asses off. He's sixteen now and it takes a lot to shock him, although Pryor still managed to shock him a few times and make him bust a gut.
Then today, when I got back from my half day work duty, he greeted me with..."Dad, I think today we should visit Nana and then workout."
If that doesnt make you guys smile you just dont get it. I'm doing fucking great today, and I need to just keep looking forward, not back. Doc
Six words, that should be your mission statement. I live by those words. To me it’s simple, everything bad is in the past, every thing good is with me or in front of me.
I have a seventeen year old daughter. I have co-parented her since she was two. She to is my best friend and pretty much the only female that doesn’t make me roll my eyes.
It could be 100% her fault or 100% yours. Time to bury that puppy in the past, good ridance. Stay strong, think strong.
I finally had a really good day, and a really good workout. While I was stacking the local pulldown and bench machines, this smallish but very cut and proportional guy kept looking at me. He wanted to talk to me but I was busy blasting my brain with Disturbed at high volume on my ipod. I finally took a breather and he turns out to be a competitive masters bodybuilder and is 55 years old! His body looked 30, and a good 30.
He was real curious about me…I guess you cant tell “what” I am since I am an over the hill out of shape 6-4 250 guy but with just the right light you can see an ab or two. We talked, he was surprised I actually trained with some of the master’s bodybuilders he is competing against (I trained with many elite bodybuilders at times in my college years…Dave Draper was my favorite.)
We’re not going to train together, he’s busy doing baby weights and high volume stuff, but I am eager to hear how he got so cut, he is at 7% bodyfat and is a no roid guy.
Then I had a great massage by this girl from “the islands” who had a killer bod…cant really afford many of these, but then again I think I’ll find the money somehow.
Damn its great to get my mind off of "the bitch" and onto living again.
For now, I just gotta keep the juices flowing to workout...I dont care if its bodybuilding or weightlifting, I just need to be training and eating right. Doc