[quote]analog_kid wrote:
AngryVader wrote:
pushmepullme wrote:
analog_kid wrote:
A clenched fist with a gallon jug of water pops out of the ground
Perfect.
AK’s gallon jug of water is crazy.
I could go Evil Dead and have a hand holding a gallon jug of water running around killing things and have sex with women.
[/quote]
That would make for an interesting Halloween Alpha Story.
nudges AK
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
analog_kid wrote:
A clenched fist with a gallon jug of water pops out of the ground
Perfect.[/quote]
+1
excellent!
Lost my v card to a Maxim model. Was alpha after that.
[quote]Chip Duglass wrote:
Lost my v card to a Maxim model. Was alpha after that.[/quote]
Yeah, it was this chick.
She is Freakin HAWWT!
She is Freakin HAWWT!
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
Chip Duglass wrote:
Lost my v card to a Maxim model. Was alpha after that.
Yeah, it was this chick.[/quote]
I’d ask for it back.
[quote]Drizzt wrote:
bozbot wrote:
I guess it was that chicks house because her mom walks in and is also breathing heavily… to be continued.
I thought you locked the door?..
The handle broke off…[/quote]
Awesome!
[quote]analog_kid wrote:
Analog_kid doesn’t have to write fucking stories on T-Nation anymore.
[/quote]
Dood ! You’re the King ! More !
Part 2
So there I was naked except my doc martin’s because I’m alpha, and i’m bangin this babe on the floor. Shes like, “Oh your so ripped, your amazing.” So I throw back another scoop of NO xplode to keep my pump goin.
Then her mom walks in, and shes breathing heavily to so as I’m slammin her daughter I flex my hamstrings and calves right in her face. Obviously shes horned up and joins in on all the fun. So I’m having a mother-daughter tag team bang match goin on, obviously I’m winning because I’m alpha. The mom puts me in an arm bar and throws me on the ground, “I’m like wtf bitch.” At the same her daughter is all over me, doin me good.
All of a fuckin sudden Hulk Hogan breaks through the wall next to the door, because he realizes non-alpha’s use doors and says… “YEAH BROTHERRRR!! TEAM HOGAN.” So I tag him in and he body slams the mom in the face. So I take off with the daughter again we start runnin down the hallway when her dad all of sudden steps out the bathroom. So I take my doc martin boot and stomp him right in the face and the chick was like “wtf you hit my dad” I said “He looked at me funny.” Anyone that looks at me funny I doc martin stomp them because I’m alpha.
I leave the chick upstairs because she’s being a baby about everything and I walk into the kitchen with all the other bikini girls standing around. Since I just got done with a huge workout with the mom daughter that I slam a huge 150 gram Protein shake. As I’m drinking it all these girls are checkin out my guns because the NO-xplode is beginning again to pump me up.
All of a sudden this helicopter lands outside and I grab the hottest bitch’s hand and we run outside and hijack it. We ride it for hours and hours stopping at differnt chick-fil-a’s around the country to pick a chicken brest sandwhich. Luckily I always back protein too so I was consistantly sipping that. I notice were flying over costa rica at this point when I see a semi-small island off the cost. I fly over to and land on the Heli pad that’s all beaten and warn down. About 50 yards away I read this sign that says Jurasic Park. So I scream, “HELL YEAH!” throw in another scoop of NO-xplode. I look over to kiss the chick i braught with me when I find a velosa raptor staring me in the face.
To be continued…
mmmm…
Chicka-Fil-Mutherfuckin’-A.
[quote]Drizzt wrote:
polo77j wrote:
So…like…do they have to be…true?
of course all alpha stories have to be true…[/quote]
So much for that…
[quote]analog kid wrote:
That’s why you do squats you fucking monkey.[/quote]
A-fucking-men.
I’m lurking in the forum, plagiarizing your stories.
I’m pretty disapointed with the jeans, beater, and gallon of water thing you ripped off from that bb.com thread.
Cmon man, orriginality is where it’s at.
[quote]zephead4747 wrote:
I’m pretty disapointed with the jeans, beater, and gallon of water thing you ripped off from that bb.com thread.
Cmon man, orriginality is where it’s at.[/quote]
The whole story is a rip off of selective posts and other stories on T-Nation. I just really like the jeans, wife beater, and gallon of water part.
[quote]Vegita wrote:
sen say wrote:
analog_kid wrote:
To be continued…
More ! More ! You’ve found your voice !
Fuck dude, Tears streaming down my face right now, that is the funniest thing I have ever read. You sir, Are a fucking genius!
V[/quote]
OMFG, I completely agree. I’m at work and I had to stop reading halfway through and put my head down and try to muffle my laughter as tears formed in my eyes. Absolute gold!
Being alpha is great.
so we finish 18 and he is going to stiff me! so i say hey lama, how bout a little something you know for the effort…
i hand him the driver, and he hauls off wacks one big hitter the lama. you know what he says? he says
gunga galunga. gunga gungala gunga