YES!!
[quote]Drizzt wrote:
YES!![/quote]
Was this part three?
Because… I gotta say, it did not live up to my expectations.
[quote]analog_kid wrote:
zephead4747 wrote:
I’m pretty disapointed with the jeans, beater, and gallon of water thing you ripped off from that bb.com thread.
Cmon man, orriginality is where it’s at.
The whole story is a rip off of selective posts and other stories on T-Nation. I just really like the jeans, wife beater, and gallon of water part.
[/quote]
I knew I recognised the ripping stop signs out part from a funny ass thread. That guy had to be a troll.
I think your story was too good. You should have written some shit ones first then waited for others to post before you did that killer. No one wants to go after that.
[quote]Otep wrote:
Drizzt wrote:
YES!!
Was this part three?
Because… I gotta say, it did not live up to my expectations.[/quote]
gimme a minute
So there I was, in the middle of Jurassic Park, staring a raptor right in the face. It came at me fast and i managed to grab the bird of prey’s jaws and force its mouth open. My biceps were bulging keeping the jaws locked and were fatiguing fast.
The NO-xplode started to kick in. And ripped the raptors jaw off. It “You shoulda done more squats bitch.” I said to the pitiful thing.
I begin to venture into the jungle, and I make my way along the beach thinking eventually ill have to run into some bikini modelzzz. Somebody yells “HEY YOU!” and its JACK FROM THE SHOW LOST! I say “Hey lets go find the fucking polar bears.” he said “hell no” So made him kiss my doc martin’s.
I go back into the jungle because I decided that the beach was fucking boring because there was no pussy there. All of a freakin sudden I step into a giant hole, and that hole turns out to be a swirling tunnel made of slick mud and I slide down and continue to go farther and farther under the earth’s top layer of sedimentary soil. I fall out of the ceiling of a giant cavern and land in the middle of giant colony of an underground society of women who were naked as fucki. Of course I land on my feet because im alpha and the squats I did help improve the impact of the ground. So I throw in another scoop of NO-xplode and say, “Spread em bitch.”
These women have not seen a man in years, and they are extremely hot babezz wearing bikini’s made of jungle leaves and bannan’s. So I have crazy passionate NO-xplode fueled party sex with every woman in the entire village. So about twenty minutes later they crown me king of the village because im alpha as fuck.
All of a sudden something sounded like “EUUAGH!” All of a fucking sudden TIM ALLEN comes out of no where with Al. They said they built a teleporter on their TV show. I snatch the remote from them and grab the hottest bitch in the village and click the remote to teleport us back to the TV show TOOL TIME.
So there I am, in the middle of TOOL TIME with this hot naked village bitch and a thousand axe bearing lumberjack testosterone junkies wearing flannal and hunting gear are staring back at me. I notice one thing though, there is a wrench hanging on the wall.
To be continued…
These stories would not be nearly as funny if they used correct spelling.
To be continued…let’s have it Drizzz
2nd
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.”
- Jack “Big Trouble” Burton