I had assumed (rightly so) that generally if you’re willing to adopt you’ll have the right mindset to hear all sides no matter how hard - I love this forum, for it’s diversity of people who can still discuss and disagree in a rational and kind way. Look forward to reading both experiences.
1 Like
I really don’t want to litter a training log with my strong feelings on a totally unrelated topic. I’m not as well-versed in the foster care system even in my own country, as I have not been touched by it. So, I’m not sure how useful my thoughts are for @alex_uk. I don’t regret what happened to me, but I am happy to expand on why I believe tearing a child away from a native country is often a poor move from the adoptee’s, birth mother’s, and global perspective. And generally, I believe there’s always trauma involved in adoption. It’s never a perfect solution, but I appreciate that in many cases that trauma is small enough to not cause problems. Adoption “works” for many people.
I’ll leave my post at that. I must admit I’m not aware of a PM function on this forum.
2 Likes
Thanks a huge part of the process and training is around attachments, these kids usually come with attachment issues (they can’t form bonds because they’ve learnt from a very young age that people hurt them and neglect them) so foster parents need to help them to trust and connect.
This naturally means you end up very close and well connected to the children, this means when they go you do suffer grief (it’s another big emphasis in training).
1 Like
If you’ve read much of this journal you’ll see significant chunks of it aren’t training related, it’s actually why I started this journal on this site, I obviously enjoy the recording and input but the ability to discuss any topic at all is also a joy to me, so feel free to say more if you feel it appropriate (also fully appreciate that you may not want to divulge your life story to strangers online!).
You are absolutely right.
And I am now realizing I have no idea how to PM either. Anybody know how?
You can’t unfortunately, usually people put email in bio if they want to communicate outside of the forums. Feel free to post anything you are happy to say publicly here, no worries about not being training related. If you’d rather do private let me know and I’ll post my email address (briefly).
@alex_uk I don’t know how permanent of a placement your family seeks, and of course your feelings on that most likely will change over time. I know people will provide readings to help prepare you, but I highly recommend checking out books written solely from an adoptee’s perspective. Also, I caution against considering a very young child as a “blank slate.” Every experience is different, of course, but I was < 1 years old, and even I am profoundly affected to this day. I can’t imagine how much more difficult it would have been had I been older or my situation been worse.
I won’t expand on my personal situation or political views on adoption, but sure, I would be willing to share via email with you, @jdm135, or anyone else who is genuinely interested.
2 Likes
Deleted
2 Likes
Hi John got it, feel free to delete.
@Bagsy - we’re just doing the fostering side which means that it will be temporary only. I definitely don’t think of the placements as blank slates due to age (unfortunately I know of the damage that even babies suffer because of both their experiences with birth parents and the process of being removed and placed, neither of which have a positive impact initially, hopefully the placement will eventually bring about positive change).
Would be great to hear your experiences even if they don’t directly translate to what will be our experiences, it’ll still be good to hear.
1 Like
FYI dude, your email is still showing. I don’t know how many Nigerian princes read this site regularly but you might want to be safe.
3 Likes
Exciting news on the family stuff. Me and the wife will likely go down this route so would be nice to hear how it all works.
1 Like
Got it, will shoot you both an email within the next few days
2 Likes
Week 5 day 3, 3 sessions to go, 3 horrible, horrible, nasty sessions left.
Conditioning: err no. (“Time constraints”)
Gs1:
Press: 40kg X 5 X 8 sets
kB swing: 24kg X 3 X
Squats: 60, 80, 100, 110, 130, 142.5 X 5, 105kg X 20
Press: 40kg X 5 X 7
Gs2:
Chins: 10kg X 5 X 5
Shrugs: 100kg X 20 X 5
Y raises: red X 20 X 5
Gross.
Tired and busy, with some background stress, need a deload, instead I get week 6 of BtM, ah well 1 more week until I can deload and know I’ve earned it. I can’t believe how deceptively hard this program is. 105 on squats wasn’t bodybuilder style, more breathing sauats, but no major pauses. Presses, which monster programs 15 sets of anything?!
4 Likes
Ah well I’ll keep you up to date the best I can then! Any idea on timing whether this will be a 1-2 year or more like 5-10 year plan?
Thanks @Bagsy no rush, appreciate the input!
1 Like
Morning weight 210.5 seem to be holding over 210 now, that’s positive.
3 Likes
Thats yet to be seen buddy. In our 7th year of fertilty treatments, having what could be the final throws of the dice as we speak so our next steps depend on the outcomes.
My wife works (worked?) With young children, adoption or fostering was something she wanted to do even before the fertility stuff.
Its a great thing your doing buddy.
Ah sorry to hear about the fertility stuff, I know that’s a really hard thing to go through and 7 years of it is rough, both mentally and physically.
That’s fantastic, it’s definitely an unfortunately necessary thing, so it’s always good to see how many good people out there want to do it.
1 Like
Yeah we are the most fortunate yet most unfortunate, we are the happiest yet the most depressed we have been, we are so grateful but feel like ungrateful pricks. I won’t bring your log down anymore,lol , I have spoken a bit about it in my log and may post a bit more about it in mine at some point.
My wife has witness so many positive turn around of kids finding placements, unfortunately she has also witnessed the regressions again when they are back with birth parents. So many kids out there need help so good on you guys.
1 Like