Advice on Wife Texting Her Boss

Off Topic
261

[quote]T-Raven wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]T-Raven wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

Do you know if other dude is married? A call to his wife may be prudent. If you have that resource. Hell, give me his name and general local, and I could find out more about him than you ever wanted to know.

His name is Jay Anderson and he lives in Gray GA. Works for Southern Company as a Safety Engineer. He said he is divorced, but who kmows.
[/quote]

T raven I know you are mad and I come off as a douchebag I whole heartadly admit Im dick but instead of wallowing in shit imbrace this new gift of freedom… Go to the strip club make it rain. Call some hos off backpage and create your fantasys.. Party like a rock star bro.. You kicked her out for better or worse that was your decision now you gotta deal with it.. You can either live in a world of shit or you can go have a good time.

YOLO

262

[quote]thehebrewhero wrote:

So if you were a 35 yr old pro athelete you would turn down the barrage of 20yr old model muff? I dont think so age aint nothing but a number & 20yr old poon is always hot

…[/quote]

Yes, at 35 I would. Age is a lot more than a number. With age comes experience and wisdom and time to decide what kind of man you want to be. A few years ago I asked my wife if I could have some poon on the side. She said no and that was that. If she had said yes I would have contemplated whether or not she would really be ok with it and then most likely decided not too.

263

Btw I think the mods are about to shut this puppy down.

264

[quote]on edge wrote:

Yes, at 35 I would. Age is a lot more than a number. With age comes experience and wisdom and time to decide what kind of man you want to be. A few years ago I asked my wife if I could have some poon on the side. She said no and that was that. If she had said yes I would have contemplated whether or not she would really be ok with it and then most likely decided not too.[/quote]

Great post. Interestingly at 33 I actually get more younger female attention than I ever did between 18-30. And by attention, I mean looks and the occasional comment and even offers.

If you offered me a $1m right now and the guarantee that my wife wouldn’t find out, I still wouldn’t cheat. Not sure that would be my response 5 years ago though (and for the record I’ve never cheated).

It’s not so much about my all encompassing love for my wife or whatever. It’s who the sense of who I am as man, and who I want to be - that has come with age and with maturity. No amount of money or pussy can bring me the deep happiness that I feel from knowing and living my own truth.

That last line prob makes me sound like a fucking wanker I know :wink:

266

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]justrob wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

Yes, at 35 I would. Age is a lot more than a number. With age comes experience and wisdom and time to decide what kind of man you want to be. A few years ago I asked my wife if I could have some poon on the side. She said no and that was that. If she had said yes I would have contemplated whether or not she would really be ok with it and then most likely decided not too.[/quote]

Great post. Interestingly at 33 I actually get more younger female attention than I ever did between 18-30. And by attention, I mean looks and the occasional comment and even offers.

If you offered me a $1m right now and the guarantee that my wife wouldn’t find out, I still wouldn’t cheat. Not sure that would be my response 5 years ago though (and for the record I’ve never cheated).

It’s not so much about my all encompassing love for my wife or whatever. It’s who the sense of who I am as man, and who I want to be - that has come with age and with maturity. No amount of money or pussy can bring me the deep happiness that I feel from knowing and living my own truth.

That last line prob makes me sound like a fucking wanker I know :wink: [/quote]

Fucking wanker.

:slight_smile:
[/quote]

267

[quote]justrob wrote:
Great post. Interestingly at 33 I actually get more younger female attention than I ever did between 18-30. And by attention, I mean looks and the occasional comment and even offers.

If you offered me a $1m right now and the guarantee that my wife wouldn’t find out, I still wouldn’t cheat. Not sure that would be my response 5 years ago though (and for the record I’ve never cheated).

It’s not so much about my all encompassing love for my wife or whatever. It’s who the sense of who I am as man, and who I want to be - that has come with age and with maturity. No amount of money or pussy can bring me the deep happiness that I feel from knowing and living my own truth.

That last line prob makes me sound like a fucking wanker I know :wink: [/quote]
No I think you’re exactly right wanker.

That’s why I don’t get people who act like infidelity is masculine just because you’re getting a bunch of pussy. Being desirable to women and getting a bunch of chicks is masculine sure, but not if it’s cheating. Because imo the manliest trait of all is loyalty. If you have no honor or loyalty or trustworthiness you ain’t no kinda man. A man’s only as good as his word.

269

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]setto222 wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

I’m with you on the shift change being disconcerting. She’s back pedaling. Doing everything she can to make things right. This can only mean that she did something wrong. I know someone mentioned this a few pages back: even if she didn’t physically cheat yet, she was mentally ready to. The shock of being caught, kicked out of the house, etc has put her in desperation mode, as the reality of the consequences of her actions have set in. She’s scared.

The problem here is, if you take her back, she’ll do it again. But she’ll be more careful, and you may not catch her again. She had a close call, but the fact that you’re willing to take her back (if you do) will only embolden her.

Tough situation OP, the right choice isn’t always an easy one.[/quote]

I don’t really see it as back peddling but rather a loving gesture to put his mind at ease. What if this whole text thing didn’t happen and OP was just a man with low self confidence. One day he meets his wife’s boss and out of irrational jealousy asks his wife to change her shift. Could it be that she would change her shift just to ease his mind or because she loves him and not because there is a chance that his irrational fear is…rational? [/quote]

^that’s not what happened, so there’s no reason to entertain that possibility. OP DID find out they were texting. That’s the ACTUAL situation. You know what would have been a loving gesture? Handing over the damn phone to her husband and proving right then and there he had nothing to worry about. Another loving gesture? Not texting a man the OP isn’t mutually friends with. Another loving gesture? Volunteering phone records. Why did the wife choose not to do these things, but instead just changed shifts?

Love isn’t proven by apologies, it’s proven by not committing acts that require apologies.[/quote]

Ha! All very good points. I concede.

270

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
This thread has been an entertaining read. And very educating. I think I’ll just join a nunnery. [/quote]

I don’t think you are using the word “nunnery” correctly.

  1. slang for “whorehouse” in the times of Shakespeare

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nunnery[/quote]

Peevishly fractious, you are.[/quote]

Well, yes. I am a lawyer by training. I get paid to stir that kind of shit.

271

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
This thread has been an entertaining read. And very educating. I think I’ll just join a nunnery. [/quote]

I don’t think you are using the word “nunnery” correctly.

  1. slang for “whorehouse” in the times of Shakespeare

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nunnery[/quote]

Peevishly fractious, you are.[/quote]

Well, yes. I am a lawyer by training. I get paid to stir that kind of shit.[/quote]

Hmm, now the Major General is making some sense:

“When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental strategy (bothered for a rhyme)
You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.”

–Pirates of Penzance

272

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
This thread has been an entertaining read. And very educating. I think I’ll just join a nunnery. [/quote]

I don’t think you are using the word “nunnery” correctly.

  1. slang for “whorehouse” in the times of Shakespeare

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nunnery[/quote]

Peevishly fractious, you are.[/quote]

Well, yes. I am a lawyer by training. I get paid to stir that kind of shit.[/quote]
I always thought you were some kind of spiritual leader/soldier of fortune. I’m going to keep believing that. I imagine you as a Jewish Hannibal Smith.

273

[quote]T-Raven wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]T-Raven wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

Do you know if other dude is married? A call to his wife may be prudent. If you have that resource. Hell, give me his name and general local, and I could find out more about him than you ever wanted to know.

His name is Jay Anderson and he lives in Gray GA. Works for Southern Company as a Safety Engineer. He said he is divorced, but who kmows.[/quote]

On it…

This prick?
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/jay-anderson/62/11b/b04[/quote]
That is the prick. I would love to know if he has a wife.
[/quote]

Ahh that’s the rub. It’d be a lot easier with a unique name…

274

[quote]on edge wrote:
Here’s my guess at cheaters by profession:

#1 Pro athletes (If I had been a pro athlete at 24 I would have totally cheated)
#2 Traveling salesmen
#3 Cops.[/quote]

275

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]justrob wrote:
Great post. Interestingly at 33 I actually get more younger female attention than I ever did between 18-30. And by attention, I mean looks and the occasional comment and even offers.

If you offered me a $1m right now and the guarantee that my wife wouldn’t find out, I still wouldn’t cheat. Not sure that would be my response 5 years ago though (and for the record I’ve never cheated).

It’s not so much about my all encompassing love for my wife or whatever. It’s who the sense of who I am as man, and who I want to be - that has come with age and with maturity. No amount of money or pussy can bring me the deep happiness that I feel from knowing and living my own truth.

That last line prob makes me sound like a fucking wanker I know :wink: [/quote]
No I think you’re exactly right wanker.

That’s why I don’t get people who act like infidelity is masculine just because you’re getting a bunch of pussy. Being desirable to women and getting a bunch of chicks is masculine sure, but not if it’s cheating. Because imo the manliest trait of all is loyalty. If you have no honor or loyalty or trustworthiness you ain’t no kinda man. A man’s only as good as his word.[/quote]

I’m with you on this one. I think it’s pretty fucking cool when I see a man totally devoted to his wife. And even cooler when I see a wife who gives him a reason to be.

276

[quote]T-Raven wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]T-Raven wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

Do you know if other dude is married? A call to his wife may be prudent. If you have that resource. Hell, give me his name and general local, and I could find out more about him than you ever wanted to know.

His name is Jay Anderson and he lives in Gray GA. Works for Southern Company as a Safety Engineer. He said he is divorced, but who kmows.[/quote]

On it…

This prick?
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/jay-anderson/62/11b/b04[/quote]
That is the prick. I would love to know if he has a wife.
[/quote]

If he has a wife, I believe her name is Amy. Like I said, you have the most access. Get the computer she used and her phone.

Or you can just tell her you know everything and you don’t want to hear anymore details because it’s gross. And that one of her friends fessed up to the details.

Really, here’s the deal. We KNOW something happened. We know it was inappropriate and physical. We know she is not willing to do what it takes to save her marriage because she is playing games.
Other than information gather to bust her cold, there may be nothing to do. She’s in the driver’s seat, not you.

Remember that she is the cheater, don’t go around kicking people’s asses. Jay may be a prick, but your wife was the problem.

It’s either she gives up the goods and puts 150% in to making this marriage work, or she just wants to get away with it, have her cake and eat it too. If the latter, you’ll be in big trouble later on.

She is out now. Now is your chance. If she isn’t willing to put 150%, fess up an change. There is nothing for you to do. It’s her decision, not yours.

Always let on you know more than you do, btw.

What women do: Will admit to a lesser crime that’s a half truth in order to cover up the big crime.

She may say, ‘Oh I kissed him one time’ translation- ‘I fucked the shit out of him. But I figured out he’s really a loser and now doesn’t want to fuck up what she had with you, and doesn’t want to do the hard stuff to make it work after the fact.’

277

[quote]pat wrote:

Really, here’s the deal. We KNOW something happened. We know it was inappropriate and physical. We know she is not willing to do what it takes to save her marriage because she is playing games.
[/quote]

Did I miss a critical post? From what I’ve read we do not know anything physical happened. It’s very clear there was inappropriate conduct but it’s not clear it was physical. Also how is she not willing to do what it takes to save her marriage? I thought she was changing her work schedule to avoid him? I think that’s a pretty decisive first step in the right direction.

Btw, Jay Anderson and Mrs Raven both know about this thread by now and have read everything.

Also btw, while I think it was a mistake to post the guys name, now that the cats out of the bag I think we should all make a packed to destroy Jay Anderson in anyway we can if we ever get the opportunity. Kind of like the Cleveland baggage handlers had a packed to send Art Model’s luggage on a trip around the world if it ever crossed their path.

I hear by pledge to (legally) screw over Jay Anderson anyway I can if I ever get the chance.

278

Where there is smoke there is usually fire. By nature people will not come clean when they have done something that they know is wrong. If you want to fix this between you and your wife you need to determine right now if you can handle the truth. If you cant handle the truth then get out, you will never trust her because you will always have this incident nagging in the back of your mind. If you can handle the truth then that means you get to the bottom of what happened (her being completely honest and you listening to what she has to say without blowing your top).

To every situation their are 2 sides to the story and the truth usually falls in between. If you really love her than you will forgive her and move forward with your marriage. If you are unsure of your love dont waste your time or her time. Your love for her can not be dependant upon whether or not she fucked up, love is unconditional especially in a marriage. We all fuck up at times.

279

^ I don’t know Pat, maybe I missed some details, but that’s not what I’ve gathered so far. From what OP has written it sounds like she has flirted with this guy through text and probably in person. He doesn’t know if anything physical happened correct?

Like I said before there are always two sides to each story. While flirting with and ultimately cheating on your spouse is 100% wrong in my book it is entirely possible this all happened because something in her/OPs marriage was lacking. I’m not saying that make it okay just that it can be fixable.

OP, if you love this woman and your satisfied was faithful or able to forgive her, I hope you use this pot hole as a catalyst to repave the road so to speak. Go see a certified marriage counselor.

280

[quote]on edge wrote:
Btw, Jay Anderson and Mrs Raven both know about this thread by now and have read everything.
[/quote]

I’m not so sure they’ve seen it unless Raven told her about it. I didn’t get a T-Nation hit on google when searching for Jay just now.