46 Male and Have No Friends

Off Topic
141

[quote]theBird wrote:
I suppose it all depends on a definition of a friend.
I move around alot and I have many friends. I dont do facebook etc, so I dont bother staying in touch with those friends that arent around. Infact I think I am a loner, but that doesnt bother me. I will help out a friend when in need, although one must be aware of leaches or those who will take advantage of your good nature.

At the end of the day a friend is a friend, and family is family. Im getting to the age where I have to consider if I want to get married or not. Im not too sure… I do feel a little like the ‘count’, but also would like to start my own family… as friends are only just friends.

tweet[/quote]

The notion that there’s an age when you have to consider getting married or not, is bullshit.

You get married when and if you’re ready. Age has nothing to do with it.

142

…but has a whole lot to do with divorce.

143

[quote]Professor X wrote:
…but has a whole lot to do with divorce.[/quote]
That would be true, also.

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[quote]PeteS wrote:
interesting, seems some expect their friends to be just like them, all 100% dedicated to iron all of the time. those that know me know i spend probably 98% of my waking life thinking about either lifting or sex, has been that way for about 28 years now.

however, aside from my training partners, most of my friends are occasional lifters at best, serious drunks at worse. there are other life experiences and interests that bond us.

that also being said i also don’t expect, or want, a friend to be around to entertain me every single weekend. we are adults with our own responsiblities. this isn’t drifting apart, this is being a grown up[/quote]

I’m with you Pete. I’ve got a handful of really close friends who’ll do anything for me and vice versa. Oddly enough they’re all pretty different. Some are the political opposite of me, some never hit the gym, some are married with kids and some are skirt chasing single guys. I see some regularly and some I see or hear from every couple of years at best. Come to think of it, my wife is different from me in many ways too but we get along like best friends would.

Great post Pete.

james

145

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.

But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.

See what I just did? ;)[/quote]

Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]

Basically, yes.

It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.

Just my 2 cents.[/quote]

I agree with this, also.

My wife and I are similar in that we don’t need to be entertained by each other on a constant basis. We can be in the same area, while doing things separately and just enjoy each others company.

Like you, if someone needs a favor, just let me know and i’ll see what I can do. Otherwise, i’ll go out of my way to avoid asking for help. Plus, i’m not the most social person, so I don’t go out of my way to keep with friends on a regular basis.
[/quote]

SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE DESCRIBING ME TO A T!

We should hang out sometime, IH!

Then again, I don’t need another friend. I already can’t stand myself.

lol

Nevermind.
[/quote]

And, like, you’re in JERSEY…

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[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.

But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.

See what I just did? ;)[/quote]

Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]

Basically, yes.

It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.

Just my 2 cents.[/quote]

I agree with this, also.

My wife and I are similar in that we don’t need to be entertained by each other on a constant basis. We can be in the same area, while doing things separately and just enjoy each others company.

Like you, if someone needs a favor, just let me know and i’ll see what I can do. Otherwise, i’ll go out of my way to avoid asking for help. Plus, i’m not the most social person, so I don’t go out of my way to keep with friends on a regular basis.
[/quote]

SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE DESCRIBING ME TO A T!

We should hang out sometime, IH!

Then again, I don’t need another friend. I already can’t stand myself.

lol

Nevermind.
[/quote]
:slight_smile:

147

[quote]sufiandy wrote:
For any of you, how would your own father answer this question? This would help explain if its more of a recent trend or has always been normal.

Edit: Any other older males you know too who are less technology driven then we are, father was just an example.[/quote]

My father didn’t actually have many friends at all once he left the navy. Most of his spare time was spent smoking weed and watching telly with a Budweiser in his other hand. He was a very stressed/stressful person to be around though so it’s no suprise he didn’t get any phone calls.

I actually became very aware of it once he did make a friend; a bodybuilder he used to go to the range with and the occasional night at a bar. It wasn’t until then that it occurred to me he never let anyone get that close to him. When that friend moved off to Chicago it was back to no close friends. I’m pretty certain I vowed I wouldn’t end up that way, amongst many other things I vowed not to emulate, and I’m glad I did.

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[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.

But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.

See what I just did? ;)[/quote]

Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]

Basically, yes.

It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.

Just my 2 cents.[/quote]

I agree with this, also.

My wife and I are similar in that we don’t need to be entertained by each other on a constant basis. We can be in the same area, while doing things separately and just enjoy each others company.

Like you, if someone needs a favor, just let me know and i’ll see what I can do. Otherwise, i’ll go out of my way to avoid asking for help. Plus, i’m not the most social person, so I don’t go out of my way to keep with friends on a regular basis.
[/quote]

SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE DESCRIBING ME TO A T!

We should hang out sometime, IH!

Then again, I don’t need another friend. I already can’t stand myself.

lol

Nevermind.
[/quote]

x3

What attracted me to Mrs Stern, beyond her hotness of course, was that she was creative kindred spirit. We actually got it together when we were painting a backdrop cloth for a play at the Edinburgh Fringe festival. So when I’m doing something like making stupid movies or photomanips she is quite happily sculpting a prop for the Scottish Opera or something similar. We might not speak for hours save to thank each other for a cup of tea or something.

Having similar interests goes a long way in preserving relations of any kind.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:
If you are over 35 and have even 2 real friends you call “family” I am sure you are doing better than 98% of the other people on the planet.

People let their true colors show the longer you know them.

They aren’t always pretty.

That may not answer your question…but I am not sure it is rare for a person in their 40’s to be in a situation like that unless they stayed real close to those people all their lives.

I have had friends cut off contact with everybody once they got married. Guys like that will be fucked if they ever need those friends back.

I have a core group of people I grew up with or knew from college. These are people I trust. I would find it odd to make it through life and meet no one at all like that unless you aren’t a good friend yourself.[/quote]
pretty much sums it up im 28 but feel exactly the same way, i tend to talk to people online or old friend thats live in a different state more that people in my area.

150

[quote]JamFly wrote:
Men are basically solitary creatures, we enjoy our own company and are self sufficient by nature… very different to woman who make many friends easily and can be needy - talking generally here of course. [/quote]

Got to strongly disagree with that statement. Most of the guys I would call friends now are guys I know from the Fire Department where I volunteer. Being able to work with and depend on your fellow man (and woman) in a bad situation is an essential part of friendship. Which is why I hardly ever see the people I used to hang out with in High School and College, who were fun to be around in fun times but weren’t worth a damn in bad times.

If you want to look at it from an evolutionary prospective we’ve spent most of the last million years working together to hunt and make war. Why should we change just because technology has made our lives so comfortable?

151

the onlyest real friend that I have today is the man that I used to ride with a long time ago.

we would watch the herd frolic in the tall grasses, and on cold nights we’d hold each other.

we had to get a life, got married, and still remained friends.

close friends

real close.

real manly kind of close

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[quote]Edgy wrote:
the onlyest real friend that I have today is the man that I used to ride with a long time ago.

we would watch the herd frolic in the tall grasses, and on cold nights we’d hold each other.

we had to get a life, got married, and still remained friends.

close friends

real close.

real manly kind of close[/quote]

153

[quote]Professor X wrote:
If you are over 35 and have even 2 real friends you call “family” I am sure you are doing better than 98% of the other people on the planet.

People let their true colors show the longer you know them.

They aren’t always pretty.

That may not answer your question…but I am not sure it is rare for a person in their 40’s to be in a situation like that unless they stayed real close to those people all their lives.

I have had friends cut off contact with everybody once they got married. Guys like that will be fucked if they ever need those friends back.

I have a core group of people I grew up with or knew from college. These are people I trust. I would find it odd to make it through life and meet no one at all like that unless you aren’t a good friend yourself.[/quote]

that’s why I always refer back to Aristotle when he said that if you have more than 1 or 2 friends, then you really don’t have “friends”. i guess he was a lonely guy as well.