It sounds like you would be happier with one or two closer friends. I suggest that you go ahead and make some. How? Well you have a friend by being a friend. Pretty simple. Of your acquaintences, are there one or two that you especially like? That you have things in common with? That you respect as men? If so I suggest inviting one of them to do something together on a one on one basis like oh say, catch a game or grab a beer or something. Start investing some time and see if you can develop a friend from an acquaintance.
Maintaining close friendships over years takes serious committment. I have one friend that I’ve had since third grade and we have both made sacrifices and invested time and resources into maintaing our relationship. I have made several close friends more recently and it was through the process of BEING a friend.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I’m 49 and have no friends to hang out with either. Like X said, as my friends got married, I barely see them. The one friend I had I haven’t seen in years… even though he lives 20 minutes away. He ONLY calls when he needs some professional advice - which I selflessly give.
But I’m okay with this. My world is small, my wife is truly my best friend, and I really love hanging out with her and her sisters and cousins.[/quote]
I’m very thankful for my true friends. I got to see how that is a blessing when I got hurt. One flew from Michigan just to see me. That’s cool shit right there…and I will always do the same back for him.
I value REAL friends.
It is just that I have found there aren’t that many you can really count on when the shit hits the fan.
The ones you can are more valuable than anything on Earth.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
LOL like divorces or “near divorces” are so strange today.[/quote]
No, but IH, Joe and I are happily married and actually enjoy hanging with our wife. So we find it weird, I know we are the exception now and not the rule. So our question is more of “How does that happen” type of curious. [/quote]
Yeah, but you’ve had divorces too.
It’s too common today to act as if this is so strange.
I find it more strange he is staying with her…but then…maybe he doesn’t want to lose all his shit.[/quote]
True I guess strange is not how I was looking at that part, more curious.
I have two guys that I could call to bury a body or would be beside me in jail. I have a lot of other friends that I have made that are pretty close. And I am an asshole in general who would rather stay at the house and play on my PS3.
I find it strange he has not made any “real” bonds with anyone in his life, that is strange. [/quote]
I have several friends who would help me bury a body or help me drink all the whiskey in my house. I have others through powerlifting who I know have my back. A few others as work colleagues.
My wife is my best friend at this point, but still have good contact with a slew of people from different stages from my life. Some friends I won’t see for ten years and we pick up right where we left off.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I’m 49 and have no friends to hang out with either. Like X said, as my friends got married, I barely see them. The one friend I had I haven’t seen in years… even though he lives 20 minutes away. He ONLY calls when he needs some professional advice - which I selflessly give.
But I’m okay with this. My world is small, my wife is truly my best friend, and I really love hanging out with her and her sisters and cousins.[/quote]
I’m very thankful for my true friends. I got to see how that is a blessing when I got hurt. One flew from Michigan just to see me. That’s cool shit right there…and I will always do the same back for him.
I value REAL friends.
It is just that I have found there aren’t that many you can really count on when the shit hits the fan.
The ones you can are more valuable than anything on Earth.[/quote]
True!
But my take is the other way. I would rather BE a true friend than HAVE a good friend. I know that sounds odd.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
Just my 2 cents.[/quote]
I don’t usually disagree with what you have to say ID. But this is dead wrong. You write that those who don’t need the company of others are “very self confident and self-reliant” implying that those who enjoy the company of others lack both qualities.
What are you doing on this site? You say you don’t have many friends in your personal life but you spend a huge amount of time on here talking with the more prolific posters. They’re your friends. You need them, or else you wouldn’t be on here all the time.
There’s no need to implicitly talk down to people who want to feel liked and appreciated. We’re all after the same things here.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
Just my 2 cents.[/quote]
I agree with this, also.
My wife and I are similar in that we don’t need to be entertained by each other on a constant basis. We can be in the same area, while doing things separately and just enjoy each others company.
Like you, if someone needs a favor, just let me know and i’ll see what I can do. Otherwise, i’ll go out of my way to avoid asking for help. Plus, i’m not the most social person, so I don’t go out of my way to keep with friends on a regular basis.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
Just my 2 cents.[/quote]
I agree with this, also.
My wife and I are similar in that we don’t need to be entertained by each other on a constant basis. We can be in the same area, while doing things separately and just enjoy each others company.
Like you, if someone needs a favor, just let me know and i’ll see what I can do. Otherwise, i’ll go out of my way to avoid asking for help. Plus, i’m not the most social person, so I don’t go out of my way to keep with friends on a regular basis.
[/quote]
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
Just my 2 cents.[/quote]
I don’t usually disagree with what you have to say ID. But this is dead wrong. You write that those who don’t need the company of others are “very self confident and self-reliant” implying that those who enjoy the company of others lack both qualities.
What are you doing on this site? You say you don’t have many friends in your personal life but you spend a huge amount of time on here talking with the more prolific posters. They’re your friends. You need them, or else you wouldn’t be on here all the time.
There’s no need to implicitly talk down to people who want to feel liked and appreciated. We’re all after the same things here.
[/quote]
Funny, I didn’t take it that way, nor do I think that’s exactly what ID meant.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
Just my 2 cents.[/quote]
I agree with this, also.
My wife and I are similar in that we don’t need to be entertained by each other on a constant basis. We can be in the same area, while doing things separately and just enjoy each others company.
Like you, if someone needs a favor, just let me know and i’ll see what I can do. Otherwise, i’ll go out of my way to avoid asking for help. Plus, i’m not the most social person, so I don’t go out of my way to keep with friends on a regular basis.
[/quote]
Or feel the need to get on G+[/quote]
By “friends”, I meant people that i’ve known IRL for years.
You guys are a different kind of “friend”. I mean that in the nicest possible way, too
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
Just my 2 cents.[/quote]
I agree with this, also.
My wife and I are similar in that we don’t need to be entertained by each other on a constant basis. We can be in the same area, while doing things separately and just enjoy each others company.
Like you, if someone needs a favor, just let me know and i’ll see what I can do. Otherwise, i’ll go out of my way to avoid asking for help. Plus, i’m not the most social person, so I don’t go out of my way to keep with friends on a regular basis.
[/quote]
Or feel the need to get on G+[/quote]
By “friends”, I meant people that i’ve known IRL for years.
You guys are a different kind of “friend”. I mean that in the nicest possible way, too :)[/quote]
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
Just my 2 cents.[/quote]
I agree with this, also.
My wife and I are similar in that we don’t need to be entertained by each other on a constant basis. We can be in the same area, while doing things separately and just enjoy each others company.
Like you, if someone needs a favor, just let me know and i’ll see what I can do. Otherwise, i’ll go out of my way to avoid asking for help. Plus, i’m not the most social person, so I don’t go out of my way to keep with friends on a regular basis.
[/quote]
Or feel the need to get on G+[/quote]
By “friends”, I meant people that i’ve known IRL for years.
You guys are a different kind of “friend”. I mean that in the nicest possible way, too :)[/quote]
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sometimes I wish Tyler Durden was my best friend. It would be cool to hang with that dude.
But then one day I’d wake up and realize he was just me the whole time.
See what I just did? ;)[/quote]
Be your own best friend? :)[/quote]
Basically, yes.
It seems there are 2 types of social types: those who NEED the constant company of others, and those who do not. I won’t get into the reasons for that, but a person who is very self confident and self-reliant rarely needs the “strokes” that a well-populated social life offers.
Just my 2 cents.[/quote]
I agree with this, also.
My wife and I are similar in that we don’t need to be entertained by each other on a constant basis. We can be in the same area, while doing things separately and just enjoy each others company.
Like you, if someone needs a favor, just let me know and i’ll see what I can do. Otherwise, i’ll go out of my way to avoid asking for help. Plus, i’m not the most social person, so I don’t go out of my way to keep with friends on a regular basis.
[/quote]
Or feel the need to get on G+[/quote]
By “friends”, I meant people that i’ve known IRL for years.
You guys are a different kind of “friend”. I mean that in the nicest possible way, too :)[/quote]
Im just fucking with you IH. [/quote]
Dick.[/quote]
