21 Year Old, 5'6, 140 lbs

Training
101

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Working out? Have biked 30 miles every day since posting, and am going to continue doing so indefinitely to teach myself discipline. Also starting on Insanity. [/quote]

That won’t get you any closer to where you want to be.

Reality check: all of your current actions are based on emotion, mainly self-hatred. You enjoy biking such long distances because you’re punishing your body doing it.

So, here’s a very simple plan for you:

  • finish your degree (in case you haven’t yet) and find a job; any job. You can and should later think about your dream job, but right now, you need to build momentum and self-worth. Even the shittiest job will help with this if it means you can support yourself financially.
  • Join a gym, do starting strength.
  • Eat. A lot.
  • Spend some money on a decent haircut.
  • Make friends. Also, make sure some of these friends are women. You seem like a guy who has trouble comunicating in real life. Fixing this will, over time, fix quite a few other issues, your virginity being one of them.
102

[quote]dave670 wrote:
track times[/quote]

What do you run in track?

103

I hear, and I don’t know if it’s true or not, that women and girls judge men less on their appearance and more by how they communicate and connect emotionally. Translation: if I want to get into a girls’ pants, I need to first get into her head and emotions. Fuck the fact that I look 16, it shouldn’t matter if I’m ballsy and communicate myself confidently.

^ This is just a theory of course, and so it could be bullshit, in which case I better get used to being a virgin. If my genetics are any indication, I’m going to look young for a long time. It was the same way for my dad.

Oddly enough, I do well with both one on one interactions and public speaking. It’s when I’m in groups of high-energy, flighty animals, like clubs and bars that I spazz out.

I don’t want to punish myself, I just want to do more with my body that I am currently doing. I feel like I’m only in average shape currently, and average isn’t good enough for me.

@ usmccds423: I ran XC and middle distance in HS, I was never great at it, but I want to, ironically, get in better shape now when I’m older than I was in when I was a teenager.

Hopefully it’s clear by now that I’m too intelligent to be a troll.

104

This

[quote]dave670 wrote:
I hear, and I don’t know if it’s true or not, that women and girls judge men less on their appearance and more by how they communicate and connect emotionally. [/quote]

and this

[quote]
Translation: if I want to get into a girls’ pants, I need to first get into her head and emotions. Fuck the fact that I look 16, it shouldn’t matter if I’m ballsy and communicate myself confidently. [/quote]

Are completely bassakwards, imo. If you’re going after a woman just to fuck her she’s probably the type that cares about looks first and maybe only. If you’re going after a woman that cares less about your appearance and more about communication and emotional connect we’re talking girlfriend material and these types of girls don’t just spread em.

FWIW, I think it’s much more prudent to go after the latter.

[quote]
Oddly enough, I do well with both one on one interactions and public speaking. It’s when I’m in groups of high-energy, flighty animals, like clubs and bars that I spazz out. [/quote]

Then don’t go to them.

[quote]
I don’t want to punish myself [/quote]

Then don’t.

[quote]
I just want to do more with my body that I am currently doing. I feel like I’m only in average shape currently, and average isn’t good enough for me. [/quote]

Good for you. Give us an example of what you’re going for because I’m completely confused. Are we talking Lance Armstrong or Ben Johnson?

105

Not liking / doing well in clubs is pretty common and nothing you have to change.

106

[quote]dave670 wrote:
@ usmccds423: I ran XC and middle distance in HS, I was never great at it, but I want to, ironically, get in better shape now when I’m older than I was in when I was a teenager. [/quote]

What is your definition of, “better shape?”

[quote]
Hopefully it’s clear by now that I’m too intelligent to be a troll. [/quote]

The good trolls are rather intelligent actually.

107

[quote]nighthawkz wrote:
Not liking / doing well in clubs is pretty common and nothing you have to change.[/quote]

I hate going to the club and I am not a fan of the bar scene either. To crowded and loud for me.

108

Better shape? Ripped, single digit body fat, able to run ultras or go out and bike 100 miles. I don’t know if this has become apparent or not but I’m kind of a cardio guy. I know this is a T forum, which is kind of why I’m here; I want to complement a cardio program with solid muscle gains in upper body.

Of course I want to go after girls to fuck them, which is why I’m trying to change the exterior to match what is desirable. Probably bad for my karma and soul, but if having random meaningless sex while young means avoiding marrying for the wrong reasons while older I’ll take it.

Lance Armstrong is kind of fugly, but I’d take Ben Johnson’s bod anyday.

109

Bump.

110

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Better shape? Ripped, single digit body fat, able to run ultras or go out and bike 100 miles. I don’t know if this has become apparent or not but I’m kind of a cardio guy. I know this is a T forum, which is kind of why I’m here; I want to complement a cardio program with solid muscle gains in upper body. [/quote]

I’m not sure these goals are really in line with each other. Most marathon or ultra runners aren’t single digit body fat. None I’m aware of are ripped.

If you’re a cardio guy that’s fine, but your gonna have to touch weights a few times a week to put on mass even if it’s just upper body mass. You could start a thread in the conditioning forum for more specific guidance.

[quote]
Of course I want booty. I want to go after girls to fuck them, which is why I’m trying to change the exterior to match what is desirable. [/quote]

There’s nothing wrong with that.

[quote]
Probably bad for my karma and soul, but if having random meaningless sex while young means avoiding marrying for the wrong reasons while older I’ll take it. Besides, I’m long overdue to lose the V card. [/quote]

Not to sound like a douche, but I just don’t understand this mindset at all. You aren’t required to lose your V card by x number of years on this planet. If it’s that important go on craigslist and find some whore that’s into taking a guys virginity or pay a hooker. It’s that simple.

[quote]
Lance Armstrong is kind of fugly, but I’d take Ben Johnson’s bod anyday. [/quote]

Well Ben Johnson probably lifted weights.

Go if you want. Idk why you would spend time at a place you don’t like, but that’s just me.

111

Have you looked into 5/3/1?

112

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Bump. [/quote]

It’s been 35 minutes…

113

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Probably bad for my karma and soul, but if having random meaningless sex [/quote]

No it’s not. Don’t you ever believe that.

114

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Better shape? Ripped, single digit body fat, able to run ultras or go out and bike 100 miles. I don’t know if this has become apparent or not but I’m kind of a cardio guy. I know this is a T forum, which is kind of why I’m here; I want to complement a cardio program with solid muscle gains in upper body.

Of course I want to go after girls to fuck them, which is why I’m trying to change the exterior to match what is desirable. Probably bad for my karma and soul, but if having random meaningless sex while young means avoiding marrying for the wrong reasons while older I’ll take it.

Lance Armstrong is kind of fugly, but I’d take Ben Johnson’s bod anyday.
[/quote]
It sounds to me like you need a strong male mentor type influence in your life. I can think back to my late teens and early twenties and I would fall back on a lot of influence from my father, uncles, and other strong personalities in my life.
Is your dad around? What does he do? Any other family members, brothers, teachers, coworkers, etcetera that you may look up to in your life?

115

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Probably bad for my karma and soul, but if having random meaningless sex [/quote]

No it’s not. Don’t you ever believe that. [/quote]
For real? I thought it was morally abhorrent.

As for male mentors, my dad is around but he’s sort of a “do whatever you want” kind of guy and never really instilled any expectations or models for me. So I’m having to sort of do studying and observation on my own to learn the ropes and figure out what works and what doesn’t, in the real world.

My only real “mentors” are my male buddies or acquaintances, and not all of them have agreeable or successful lifestyles.

116

Did you see my post?

117

[quote]T3hPwnisher wrote:
Did you see my post?[/quote]
Yeah I did thanks, I’m looking into that and I think I’ll start on it soon.

118

[quote]dave670 wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Probably bad for my karma and soul, but if having random meaningless sex [/quote]

No it’s not. Don’t you ever believe that. [/quote]
For real? I thought it was morally abhorrent.

[/quote]
But do you believe it is morally abhorrent? I’m guessing you don’t.

You have already formed quite a few baseless perceptions on human interaction without much experience, resulting in your current insecurities.

I suggest you don’t let them turn into beliefs.

119

Please enlighten me, then, in my ignorance, on the morality of fucking randomly. You can’t make complaints like that yet withhold information. I am retarded, forgive me.

120

With respect to training, and I’m sure you probably know this, but basically:

  1. Stimulate the body where you want it to grow, in the manner you want it to adapt
  2. Feed the body with both the building blocks for those adaptations, and energy to adapt
  3. Give the body enough time to partially or fully adapt
  4. Repeat

While simple, the details matter a bit. If you want to be bigger and stronger everywhere, you need to do lifts that get you bigger and stronger everywhere. Variations of squats, deadlifts, presses, and olympic lifts will do that. If a muscle isn’t used, it won’t get bigger and stronger, so make sure you cover your bases.

Strength increases require heavier weights and enough volume, size increases can come from heavier weights, enough volume, greater time-under-tension, focusing on the stretch and the contraction, chasing a pump and/or working close to failure. There are other ways too, but you need the use the right stimulus to achieve what you want.

5/3/1 provides the structure and flexibility to do that; it’s not the only way by any means though.

As far as mindset, heavy weights can change you. Instead of approaching lifting as a form of self-inflicted pain (a la Nighthawkz, above), where it’s actually easy to get a burn but waste a training session, learn to approach it as both challenge and practice.

Quite literally you’re sending signals to your body that say “if you don’t adapt, you’re going to die”, and your body responds by making the adaptations so you don’t die. Since you have control over the weights you use, you can keep yourself from death and injury, but you want to straddle that line so that the body can adapt.

The result is both a body and mind that is better prepared for whatever adversity and challenges you might encounter. Instead of focusing on behaving or appearing “alpha”, you just take on those characteristics because you have you own agenda and don’t concern yourself with insignificant bullshit. The little things that used to bother you cease to have any effect.

This whole expose, adapt, and repeat model, combined with intentionally selecting the stimuli that will challenge you but not break you… this is applicable to just about anything. You’re intimidated by the bar and the club scene? Find a situation that’s somewhat uncomfortable and find a way to make yourself comfortable with it. Then find something more challenging, and repeat.

Attractive women intimidate you and leave you flustered? Spend more time around increasingly attractive women. Master yourself and the way you react so that you have more control over yourself and the situations you find (or put) yourself in.

Some people can deadlift 315 the first time they try. Others have to first deadlift 225, then 230, then 235. Everyone starts somewhere, but most everyone can improve significantly from where they are. This goes for pretty much anything in life that you’re not a “natural” at.