Who cares? We have over 300 million people, and are an ocean away. I believe the English government would have far less power over us than the one we have.
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I can’t remember who it was that mentioned having a bunch of Progressive women(school teachers) teach sex education should be pretty effective at making the thought of having sex repulsive.
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You make a compelling case. I’ll send you your British treason kit tomorrow.
This reminded me of the full English breakfast. Another thing we’ve lost out on.
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It’s a part of our civilization I wish we’d left you, alas.
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As do I.
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If only Boney wasn’t such a menace, the pesky former colonists would have gotten their due in 1812. But they were calling themselves “proud Englishmen” so one had to be touchy feely with them.
Also, we know who really defeated you guys at Yorktown:
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The oldest enemy. Our perpetual foe.
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You mean the Scots? 
Often the best cannon fodder came from ethnic groups that were systematically crushed by the empire, then groomed as cannon fodder, where their desperation made them easy marks for flattery for “bravery” in the service of the empire that had destroyed their people. The Prussian Army recruited heavily among the Poles, Belarussians, Lithuanians and other Slavic groups. Slavs were excluded from Prussian institutions, which worked out very nicely, guaranteeing recruiters a steady supply of men of military age with no other option. And if they didn’t speak German, they could be taught by the rod.
That’s the horrible logic of recruiting the lowest of the low: The worse their lives become, the easier it is to sign them up as cannon fodder. If you look into the history of the most famous, illustrious military units, you find their origin in a minority ethnic group that’s been brutalized, walled off from the civilian economy, and then offered a chance to take the king’s shilling. Since European armies loved elaborate uniforms, these units would be “honored” with headgear or some other ethnic marker. And sure enough, whip-sawed by desperation and flattery, these units performed heroically, generating more flattery and a tradition of joining up, making the recruiter’s job even easier.
Which is why certain highly-decorated British regiments wear kilts. The Highland Scots, now extinct, scared the life out of Britain in 1745 by wading through better-equipped regular-army units staffed by English soldiers at Prestonpans. The Highlanders weren’t cute, quaint, or beloved in the minds of the London elite, when they heard how the Scots had charged out of the fog, swinging huge broadswords and screaming in Gaelic. The Highlanders were alien monsters—and Papists to boot, the worst crime of all in 18th-c. Britain.
After the inevitable defeat of the small, disorganized, half-armed Scottish invaders, the Empire pursued a classic two-phase plan. First, the extinction of the Highland Scots’ culture. The Earl of Cumberland, in charge of this phase, issued a classic “No prisoners!” order covering all Gaelic-speaking men of military age, armed or not. Anything associated with the rebel ethnic group was banned. Wearing tartan and playing the bagpipes were capital offenses in Scotland in 1746.
So how did it happen that this brutalized ethnic minority ended up marching in the Empire’s parades, decked out in tartan, with the pipes blaring, all through Victoria’s long century? That was phase two, and it worked very well, as it usually does. Once the insurgent ethnic group has been destroyed, it can be made quaint. Its markers—tartan, the pipes—can be used to flatter young Highland men into taking the king’s shilling. And best of all, the utter devastation of their homeland gives them no other options. And that’s always been the bottom line for getting good-quality cannon fodder: Make sure they have no other options.
You’ll find that grim sequence behind every military unit recruited from a crushed ethnic group.
Americans, fixated on skin color as a “racial” marker, tend to understand what the empires did (and do) to non-European groups like the Sikhs but miss how the technique—crush’em, then recruit’em and flatter’en—worked on other “white” European minorities just as well. “Race” in Europe never meant skin color. In fact, some of the targeted groups, like the Highland Scots, products of centuries without sun, were whiter than white, downright phosphorescent. That didn’t make the Empire any more squeamish about crushing and then recruiting them.
A century later, the same Empire used the same technique to crush and recruit another rich vein of cannon fodder from another pale, Gaelic-speaking group of desperate paupers: The Irish peasantry. In the mid-19th century, Ireland was systematically depopulated by artificial famine, emigration, and epidemics, eliminating another despised and feared source of Papist insurgencies. Once that group was thoroughly destroyed, survivors were recruited by the Empire, using the same old techniques: denial of any alternative to military service and sentimental flattery for the alleged bravery and “fighting spirit” of the despised group. It’s a sad joke to think of all the Midwestern Notre Dame fans cheering “The Fighting Irish,” with no clue that the whole concept of Irish military prowess was a recruiting gimmick by an Empire always hungry for cannon fodder.
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In fairness, we also got the inbreds to charge to their own demise at Balaclava.
But come now, Ioppar, you’re a smart man, you could hardly leave the Scots to their own devices! Who knows what devilment would have come from beyond Hadrian’s!
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I’m already involved in the dastardly plans. First, the rightful Jacobite King will disembark in Scotland Bonnie Prince Charlie-style as is the usual custom, claim the throne and then appoint his we’re-so-far-removed-it’s-unclear-if-we’re-related-at-all cousin as Lord Protector of the troublesome isles.
The name’s Lord Protector loppar. Better get used to it.
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Yes Minister is one of the great gems of the media age.
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Don’t you blighters ever relent?
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@NickViar come to Ulster. We make the best fries.
EDIT: we also haven’t had a government for more than a year. That should entice any libertarian to our shores.
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Pretty sure your history book is wrong. I’m basing that on the fact that if it isn’t our history book then it’s wrong. Should read something like this. I’m paraphrasing but as a born here American you already know I’m right. The story of the American Revolution. The correct story.
We just wanted a touch of freedom and to be treated like the god loving white people we were. But British soldiers came over here and stole all our shit and fucked our women. Which was annoying because the Indians were in the middle of giving us more land because of how awesome we were. They also knew that the real God (our God) wanted this. They’d seen the pictures of Jesus which are super white because Jesus was American and spoke American because in America American is spoken and we don’t need any other languages. Eventually the Indians got on board with that shit and we invented casinos to give them.
I digress. Great Britain sent I believe the number was 70 million expertly trained soldiers to keep us in line. Armed to the teeth with amazing weaponry. We had a few soldiers I think around ten thousand total. That or 500. We had a a few muskets and a few cannonballs. Ammo was so low American soldiers purposely got shot at the start of battles just so they had something to dig out of their muscles and use in their guns.
War didn’t go very well for us at first. Our leader George Washington was a principled man who would only let Americans kill 50,000 men in 3 hours before calling off his soldiers and gathering food for the British army. That’s how good Americans are. We help our enemies eat because we want to make sure they have a good last meal. Also while we are this close it gives them the chance to maybe kill one or two of us. But the British really could only kill people who had invested in Tesla (pussy liberals.)
Later on the French came to America and joined the British in trying to defeat us. From the very beginning the whole world was against us even though all we wanted was to free all the slaves around the world and give everyone free market capitalism. Finally the combined forces of I think a billion when you added the French and British together surrendered as they realize America can’t ever lose a war. They also realized these colors don’t run. Plus Dale Earnhardt bitch. Fucking Hulk Hogan. Fucking Coca Cola.
This is what American kids are taught who are the smartest kids in the world. We invented all the drugs that save lives, all the food that feeds people, and we invented water. Now shut the fuck up with your bullshit lies. We would never let the French help us.
Also Sadaam had 50 nukes all pointed at you before we got to Iraq and shut them all down at the last second.
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10/10 would colonize.
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That, sir, is the most American post I’ve ever read.
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Had to correct my post because I found my 8th grade history book. Coke and the Hulkster. Plus motherfucking GI Joe.
Motherfucking GI Joe. Fucking eagles that are bald. And adding stars to our flag. Because even land that isn’t touching America want to be states.
And the Beatles were a shitty band until they came here and learned to play instruments and sing. I don’t even think Europe was a continent until we let them be one.
Deleted it on accident but figured out how to get it back. Because American posts don’t disappear. They are free.
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Anyone notice AOC in that picture? Lower right, kneeling with hands on hips, bug eyes and crazy expression.