[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
Please don’t poke my eye out…[/quote]
I think your best bet is diving as fast as possible down his throat then escape out the asshole. [/quote]
100% agree. Easily the best survival tactic presented thus far. [/quote]
I am crying lol
When my father was younger and trapped raccoon, he shot one in the head (technique is to put the barrel to the ear so it goes straight to the brain) and put it in the back of his car. About a couple hundreds yards down the road a police officer pulled him over and told him to get out of the car. My father was confused. As he stepped out the vehicle he asked the cop why. The cop pointed to the back of the car. There standing in the back of the car was a very pissed off raccoon. Needless to say the rascal was dealt with, but this was AFTER having taken a bullet to the dome and been pronounced dead.
Animals are tougher than we make them out to be. When I trapped with my father as a child there were numerous methods to kill a raccoon. But all of them required a tool, and it was about that which was the most humane/quickest.
Claiming that you can keep away from the jaws of a shark is somewhat humorous. Do folks not see the Great Whites on Shark Week and how they go deep and appear out of nowhere in a split second, and the force they generate is enough to propel them and their prey through the water and into the air? Good luck!
[quote]theBeth wrote:
I have nothing to offer for a dowery. Except my blood sweat and tears. And a knack for writing erotica.[/quote]
Erotica involving blood, sweat, and tears, no doubt.
I just know you’re kinkier than Oprah’s new hairdo. 
[quote]theBeth wrote:
What wizardry is this! What else can you predict? Give me some good news.[/quote]
I predict that the thread featuring that video of yourself twerking in Elmo panties will be one of the most popular ever on T-Nation.
I posted my prediction just after noon today, Pacific time. A good three and a half hours before your Goldeneye leg crush comment.
Where I am is right here, same as always.
I come from Belfast. Grew up at the height of the troubles.
I’m from a nice part of Belfast and was never in the middle of the troubles. Any crisis was in Belfast - bomb or shooting - was met with a calm assessment of the situation and then a calm walk away. A 30min warning for a 10000lb bomb usually meant no casualties. Most people went to the pub to await the outcome.
In Warrington, in 1993, a 30min warning 2 small bombs, caused massed panic, people running in every direction, two kids killed and 54 injured.
I have run with the bulls in Pamplona twice. One run was uneventful and the other was the 12th July 2007. The ridiculous panic and self serving actions of the several thousand people that day amaze me that the damage was so little.
The bull Universal, fell in front of me and came up fighting. When I stepped back the two guys behind me pushed me in front of the bull. This would not of helped them. In fact if I had sufficiently attracted the bull, he would have went through all of us. As it happened I went left, he went right.
American disaster movies are quite accurate of the self serving, and completely illogical, behavior of mobs.
There is a reason armies spend time instilling discipline, teamwork and unwavering response to leadership under pressure.
A mob has no chance against a stronger animal. Teamwork is not inherent. It must be built. And requires a leader.
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]USMCpoolee wrote:
10 not pussy adult men would tear a chimp to pieces. Also, I’ve killed raccoons with a rifle, bat, stick, and using my foot with some old cowboy boots on. I guess a huge rabid one would be tough with the boots or bare hands though.[/quote]
Remember the conditions of the fight. Bare enclosed room, no weapons.
Oh, and you’d be naked.
Still want to tangle with that coon?[/quote]
I’m sure in the scenario I would get torn up pretty well but I would still stomp the raccoon. Although the idea of fighting naked just sucks.
[quote]USMCpoolee wrote:
Although the idea of fighting naked just sucks.[/quote]
youtu.be/Re37IVYO_MY
[quote]nighthawkz wrote:
[quote]USMCpoolee wrote:
Although the idea of fighting naked just sucks.[/quote]
youtu.be/Re37IVYO_MY
[/quote]
That was great. I’ll definitely watch the movie later.
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
[quote]nighthawkz wrote:
[quote]USMCpoolee wrote:
Although the idea of fighting naked just sucks.[/quote]
youtu.be/Re37IVYO_MY
[/quote]
That was great. I’ll definitely watch the movie later.[/quote]
That movie is so badass.
On a side note, I have the bone structure of a silverback gorilla.
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]theBeth wrote:
I have nothing to offer for a dowery. Except my blood sweat and tears. And a knack for writing erotica.[/quote]
Erotica involving blood, sweat, and tears, no doubt.
I just know you’re kinkier than Oprah’s new hairdo. ;)[/quote]
I don’t even know what you mean.
And I’ll have to google twerking, I don’t even know wat that is. I can’t even post a pic of my butt on my training log without getting flamed, I can’t even imagine the fallout from a video. good god.
WTF? I leave this thread for a day, and when I come back the topic has changed to fighting sharks, fucking bonobos, and Orion’s physical quirks.
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]carbiduis wrote:
gouge the eyeballs out
/thread[/quote]
It’s probably really hard to gouge somethings eyes out while it’s ripping your face off…[/quote]
It’s probably really hard to rip somethings face off out while it’s gouging your eyeballs out…
people overestimate animals…this imbecile at my lunch table was telling me that a canadian goose would break my arms/wrists if i get too close to one.
[quote]carbiduis wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]carbiduis wrote:
gouge the eyeballs out
/thread[/quote]
It’s probably really hard to gouge somethings eyes out while it’s ripping your face off…[/quote]
It’s probably really hard to rip somethings face off out while it’s gouging your eyeballs out…[/quote]
Good luck with that.
[quote]carbiduis wrote:
people overestimate animals…this imbecile at my lunch table was telling me that a canadian goose would break my arms/wrists if i get too close to one.[/quote]
People underestimate animals. I doubt a goose can break your arm but a thirty pound swan will.
[quote]Testy1 wrote:
[quote]carbiduis wrote:
people overestimate animals…this imbecile at my lunch table was telling me that a canadian goose would break my arms/wrists if i get too close to one.[/quote]
People underestimate animals. I doubt a goose can break your arm but a thirty pound swan will.[/quote]
Maybe if you stood still and just let it fuck with you but I don’t see how anyone would lose to a goose or a swan.
That Goose was like, “Fuck you dude this my block!”