March 28 2026
I decided to clean my room and put my laundry away today, and once I’m done I will then see if I can play this one pokemon game I used to love so much. I can only play it on a non school device but we have one so Il do that.
If I get to go to school on Monday (can’t plan anything anymore) I will bring my Pokemon cards like I said I would to my friend.
Well that sucked.
After spending 30 minutes trying to get the game to load, i was greeted with my money, mount, and a bunch of other stuff just missing! On top of that, the chat appeared to be populated with a bunch of stupid brainrot kids or whatever. Everything they said had zero meaning I swear. And I tried asking a question and nobody acknowledged it. Not trying to play that for a while I guess.
They always mess the good stuff up.
I need to get back on eating healthy.
Todays food
Breakfast:
2 eggs cooked with butter
2 chicken patties
1 overly sweet pastry with frosting
1 cup milk
Lunch
1 can spaghettios and meatballs
1 slice cheese
Need to eat some real food, and get protein in. I think it would be better if I atleast tracked protein.
The reason I don’t play video games is because after a bit it just feels like I could be doing something so much more. Like its such a waste of time. I remembered this while playing today.
I don’t get that way with TV though, even though it applies more.
I don’t know if I want to go against something I’ve accepted as the truth for so long; that I don’t play video games because they are a waste of time. I know it can be fun, but I don’t know if I want that type of fun in my life and be everyone else. I think that’s one major component. I don’t want to be like everyone else.
I have a hankering for some nice fatty pork chops (which have the strip of fat that’s a bit crispy on the edges). Nothing with too much flavor, just salt and pepper.
Yes. This is my post for the night.
March 29 2026
I might stay in bed a bit longer. I don’t feel like getting up and doing anything.
I feel like crap today and I don’t know why.
I think I like the idea of enjoying video games more than actually playing video games.
And this thought occured to me this morning, which sums up a lot of what I feel, I think.
“Sometimes it feels like happiness is only an escape from the agony of life”
And so by consequence, only a façade.
I feel much better! I just need something to do. So Im going to go outside and collect some plant specimens and take some nice pictures or whatever.
That was fun. I got 7 specimens. I was only out for an hour maybe. Then I had lunch.
Bored again.
Singleplayer video games are like movies, only it’s like an active movie. You decide what the movie will look like, and you enjoy it however you want.
Multiplayer video games are about playing with friends/anonymous players. It has some fun to it, and as long it doesn’t interfere with your goals too much I wouldn’t bother.
We could tie a string around the earth!
The worlds longest string is 7 million feet long. if we had 19 of them, and tied them together, we could tie the earth in a pretty little bow, with a couple million feet left over.
March 30 2026
Don’t know what I will be doing in strength. No plan. Maybe some light conditioning though, just to be active. Ive felt so lazy and fat lately.
I started watching 5 minute crafts videos. Ugh they are so awful I love them.
Breakfast in 13 minutes
Good day today
I did a little in strength. Just to do something
2 sets of 10 reps 15lbs lateral raise
1 set of chest press with 1 plate each side
3 set knee extension
a bit of jump rope
about 10 minutes of rowing
Ive been feeling more “wimpy” lately. Like I felt like I was being such a coward or something. Im guessing its just hormones.
Coach said I looked taller or something. I don’t know if thats true, if so I would have had to have grown in the last week, which I doubt. Nevertheless, its spring, and ive been doing a lot of laying down, so maybe?
I’ve been thinking again.
For a long time I think I based my whole, or at least the majority, of my personality as a gym-goer. A huge part of that was having abs, I think. So when I lost my abs, I subconciously freaked out, I think, because that meant part of myself was gone (though in this case I had more of myself, haha). I think the same things is happening again. I used to be able to workout consistently, and now that I can’t, it feels like I’m empty in a way.
So this led me to think, “Who am I?”
Am I born as nobody, an empty shell, who chooses who to be?
Or am I born as someone, and I can simply tweak little things if need be, but not able to change who I fundamentally am?
It must be the latter, because if it wasn’t, there would be no people. There would only be a bunch of persons. But there are people, and everyone is individual. We are all born a certain way, and from there the experiences in our lives shape us. The rest is up to ourselves.
So, this brings me to the point. I don’t think I know who I am really. I have an idea, of course I’m a seeker of Christ, someone who wants to help others, etc. But that’s about me. WHO am I? I have my name, but that’s not me. Who is me?
What you are discussing is the concept of existentialism.
March 31 2026
I have my science program again today; Hopefully my moss grew nicely.
20 minute until breakfast
Oooohhh I done messed my back up this time…
My back was feeling alright for a few days, obviously healing but it wasn’t hurting. Well, obviously I decide to sprint a bit after my friend riding his bike. First time was fine. Second time, I felt some sort of pop and OWWWW my back. It just hurts now, no stopping at all.
Also my friend (two years younger) is 2.5 inches taller. WHY WONT I GET TALLER? IM THE SAME HEIGHT AS NEARLY TWO YEARS AGO! 
My son hit 5’9 and quit growing. Sometimes that’s just how it goes. Or maybe you will be one of those people who hit a growth spurt after highschool!
Yeah. That’s definitely it. Im still only 15 though so I can still have a growth spurt. My brother is like 5:11 or something.
April 1 2026
Took physique photos today. I think I look smaller if anything, but, probably just the lighting.
I think ive been put in a bad mood because I can’t lift. But I need to stop making that an excuse to stop exercising and eating good.
I can ride my bike for some conditioning, my back doesn’t mind. And I think I can still do pushups, so that’s something I guess. But still, Im going to take it easy to just get blood flowing and muscles ready for my next push.
UGHHH WHY WONT MY BODY BE HEALED ALREADY JUST DO THE STUFF YOU NEED TO DO!!!
