I should have been more thoughtful. Back pain is quite a personal thing. As someone who has a pain management plan for back pain, I certainly should haven more understanding. My apologies. You have described doing amazing things over the last three years. Keep at it and I read you are working to be your best.
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I think I understand, but, elaborate, please.
Ate a lot of good food today.
Days Total: 3397 Kcal, 166g fat, 235g carbs, 233g protein
Crocheted the Jellyfish, and made a copper bracelet piece. Started working on a bee, will finish it tomorrow if I will.
I think I might be able to do OHP tomorrow, at the very least, sitting on a bench. I canāt wait to be able to actually lift weightsā¦ I only got to lift a little bit last week.
TOmorrow calculated weights
OHP 85x3
Deadlift 235x3
BB curl 65 x 8
Dips +5 x 8
Lunges (ughā¦) 45lb DBS x 8 (I hate these so muchā¦ I canāt wait to do these stupid things haha)
Weighted Lunges are by far my most hated exercise, and I love them so much for that. I donāt want to do them, but they are so great. I love getting them done, just not doing them, haha.
Time for bed soon.
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December 30 2025 W6D2 Strength day (hopefully)
Ive been trying out a method to help my back, and I think it might be working to some extent. Iāve been sleeping on the floor for the last two nights (with a blanket for some cushioning, plus the floor is carpet(but not very soft) ), and although a bit of back pain lingers if I really move wrong, or when I lay down after the day is over, I feel better. It makes sense, because when I think about it, my matress isnāt very ānaturalā. Its springy and cushiony, and over a handwidths thick. When I sleep (especially due to the distribution of my weight [cough cough fatty cough cough*]) I assume my body takes on a curved shape, that isnāt natural at all. The floor, however, is a solid body, and my body doesnāt sink into it. It keep my natural spinal curvature as it is, and given my back pain is essentially caused by being hunched forward from crocheting a week ago, this is a direct solution.
Is my reasoning sound?
I will still add in some cat cow/spine movements, I think their helpful for me.
Anyways, today I plan on doing a bit more crocheting, and probably work on the deer hide. I need to soak it, and then wring it and dry it. Should be interesting. I might decide to hold it off until the weather warms up again, but, we will see.
Breakfast:
3 eggs
1 tbsp butter
1 bagel
1/2 cup protein granola
1 cup milk
----Total: 928 Kcal, 41g fat, 94g carbs, 46g protein
Time to work on crocheting
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Gladly.
A key to a happy and successful life, according to many, is being present. That means not regretting the past nor fearing the future. When you forgive yourself unconditionally, you stop regretting the past. This doesnāt mean just blowing off your mistakes and not learning from them. But it does mean forgiving yourself and moving on, not living in the past.
Buddhists use a term ādonāt pull the second arrow.ā The first arrow is the suffering or pain from what happened. The second arrow is the suffering and pain you inflict on yourself through blame or self judgement.
For the record, I consider Buddhism a philosophy and not a religion.
Cheers.
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Thatās very wise. Yeah, itās actually similar to Christian thought, Christ died for our sins, and although we should feel remorse for our sins, we need to remember that they have been absolved, and we need to go forward.
Todayās workout:
OHP
45 x 5
65 x 4
75 x 2
85 x 3
85 x 3
85 x 3
85 x 3
85 x 3
Deadlifts
135 x 2
Nope. Back isnāt happy to do that.
BB curl
45 x 6
65 x 8
65 x 8
65 x 8
65 x 8
Dips (+5 lbs)
8
8
8
8
Lunges
45ās x 8
45ās x 8
45ās x 8
45ās x 8
Other than not being able to deadlift, this workout was good.
Dinner soon.
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Lunch:
1 fried chicken breast
1 fried chicken wing
1 cup orange juice (I consider orange juice a near essential to have with fried chicken. Takes off some of the extra saltiness after drinking it)
----Total: 692 Kcal, 23g fat, 74g carbs, 41g protein
Snack
a packet protein oatmeal
----Total: 190 Kcal, 3g fat, 28g carbs, 12g protein
Dinner:
6 oz ground beef
2 oz sauce
6 oz pasta
2 slices Italian bread
1 tbsp butter
5/4 cup nonfat Greek yogurt (haha havenāt used that number in awhile)
1/2 tbsp honey
1 can tuna
----Total: 1221 Kcal, 36g fat, 91g carbs, 120g protein
Days total: 3031 Kcal, 103g fat, 288g carbs, 219g protein
Good eating
Dec 31 2025: W6D3 Last day of 2025
This year has been interesting. The world hasnāt ended yet! Thatās nice. That means its gonna end soon.
Things I want to do 2026:
Plant a LOT of stuff in our garden
Make $1000 in profits from crochetings and jewelry making
Lean up some (when its time)
Make some pottery stuff
Talk a bit more
Be nicer in general
Pray more
Make a better bridge to get across the creek (The one I made is getting weak and ugly)
Dad keeps complaining about me eating so much. So weāve decided that Im gonna start paying for extra food for me to eatā¦ sigh. Its fair, but I donāt want to have to spend so much money. So Il have to find cheapest meat per oz per gram protein. or whatever. Only 9 more weeks, then I donāt have to eat as muchā¦ 63 days. Whatever I get, I have to figure out the amount I can eat in a day every day or whatever. Im not sure.
I could get ground turkey 99% lean or whatever they have. Beef would be best but its super pricy apparently.
Time for breakfast
I took some physique pics to mark the halfway point of my bulk. Yeahā¦ I should have done my cardio. Oh well. My face definitely looks fatter for sure. And from what ive seen in the mirror in the gym, some of the fat Is going to my glutes. Generally all over though, just in some places more than others.
I guess Iām not fat, but I am chunkier for sure. Its fine though.
Traps seem to be coming along. No compaints on that!
Chest looks bigger too. Thats great.
I need to get some sun, too. Darn winter.
Edit: wtf is with my ears from behind why do they look like that they look so weird.
DAMN I gained some weight! I am going to take my conditioning seriously I donāt want to get any fatter.
I decided to count up all the money I had after making a lot this year. 855.03. If I wouldnāt have spent 150 on a metal detector, I would have over 1000 saved up! that was one of my resolutions I made this year! I did it! I essentially had 1000 saved up! I have $1000 gross savings this year!
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Your ears are just ears. Going from 145 lbs. to almost 205 lbs. you, yourself, might think you are chunkier. I do not think you even look āchunkyā. I would take that build tomorrow.
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I suppose. Thanks, I suppose your right. My brother keeps saying that its normal/healthy to have that amount of fat, and others have said stuff similar here/in real life, so I guess I have to just accept that Iām okay.
Todays foodā¦ uhā¦ Its new years eveā¦ all I will say is I got plenty. I did get my protein goal though, so yay I donāt have to eat anymore. (I ate a whole box of goobers, and 1 and half donuts, and a bit of other crap. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. Im starting healthy tomorrow.
I did my conditioning today. A bunch of jump rope (Iām back to the level I was at before, thatās good), a bit of soccer with the neighbors kiddo, and also I tested out if I could do a 1 arm pushup. Yep. Thatās good I still got it.
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My Official New Years Resolutions Ten:
- Make 2k off of profits from my craft sales
- Bench 225 x 3
- Squat 315 x 3
- OHP 135 x 3
- Deadlift 405 x 3
- Stop jerking it (Just need to make this official for myself)
- Keep on doing my conditioning
- Get leaner again before+during summer
- Learn a lot
- Enjoy Life
I will be implementing periodization to achieve some of these goals. Lifting, duh, but for #1 and #9 I can do something.
Uhhhh #6 yeahā¦ Its a bad habit I really need to break it is ruining my mind and its not healthy. Donāt argue with me anyone, its bad and thatās final. Its sinful because its abuse to the body. We arenāt meant to do that.
Anyways time to sleep.
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Happy New Years! Its 2026. ā¦
Jan 1 2026 W6D4 Hopefully gym today
My knees are killing me from yesterday. Maybe if I get some blood flowing it will feel better, but, man I might not be able to walk to the gym. DEFINITELY not squatting today. My back probably would have hurt doing them too.
Resolution6 Day 1 yep Iām tracking this on here because I donāt know what else to do.
Today Il be doing my school work like I said. First 2 chapters of Lord of the Flies, and then some writing stuff on it.
WHY WONT MY BACK STOP HURTING AHHHHH
30 minutes until breakfast
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Im pretty much done with the assignments I had to do. Just need to finish glueing the poster and I will be finished. Then I can work on crocheting the bee, and from there I will decide if I either want to work on a copper jewelry piece, or to crochet something else. Gotta work on Resolution1 to make it happen.
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Todays workout plan:
Bench 165 x 3 x 5sets
Squat (doubtful, cāmon back and knees, be happy todayā¦)
215 x 3 x 5 sets
Pullups 8 reps x 4 sets
Tricep Extension: 62.5 x 8 x 4 sets
Kettlebell swing (doubtful again) 70lbs x 30 x 4 sets
I will attempt squat and KB swings, but Iām doubtful on if I can do them at the moment. It sucks that I would have to skip another leg movement, I like squatting.
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Update tomorrow stomach upset .. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I got enough protein with porkā¦ so coldā¦
Yesterdayās total:
2917 Kcal, 118g fat, 213g carbs, 230g protein
I ate 4 big pork chops for dinner, with sauerkraut and some green beans. That was tasty, but I guess my stomach didnāt like it. Oh well.
Conditioning today. I may jump rope so my body gets another taste of it so it can have stimulus to adapt, but wonāt be hitting it super hard. Knees feel good, but I would give it a little more time before I hit it hard again.
Not sure what I want to do today. My Il do some crochet stuff, or maybe some copper stuff. Or maybe, I can clean more. Il do that first, the garage is messy and I want it to be open so I can do stuff. I want to tumble some more rocks I find so I can make jewelry with it. I need a belt for the tumbler though.
In order to grow in Faith in Christ (which is the highest priority in my life), I must follow the Orthodox fasting days. Most days, I will have to abstain from meat (except shellfish since it does not have true blood), dairy, eggs, oil, and wine (well this one will be easy). The first day I will be doing it is Monday, which is strict fasting, which means I must abstain from all of those. On Wednesday, Fish, oil, (and wine, but, again) are allowed. Friday is another strict fast day. I will update on here as needed.
Protein will be initially a concern, but I will eventually not be concerned. For now though, shrimp will be a priority. Not a problem, as I am not opposed to shrimp. I will also have more plant protein sources. I wonāt aim for the big 213g, I will only do about 150-170g to act as maintainence. I wonāt go for all my calories, since they also arenāt important. These days of fasting are for focusing on Christ, not myself. I will not listen to anyone who opposes this, so do not try to convince me against this.
There are some days where dairy and eggs (and the rest) are allowed, only meat isnāt. Soonest are next month. I am not concerned about this.
I am also cutting out the Specificity, to coincide with the Great and Holy Lent. I will resume Operator+Black during this.