Your Sloppy Nights

Off Topic
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[quote]spyoptic wrote:
While I was in the Marines, me and 6 others friends took a car to Santa Barbara.

Once we get there Im bored so I steal 6 lighters and a granola bar from a gas station.

no big deal so we go to a liquor store, I tell one car to keep their engine running and run out with 2 1-liter bottles of vodka.

we mixed our drinks and started walking around, there was a theater about to close so I run in, jump over the counter into their fridge, and grab handfulls of candy as two of my friends take a piss of their front door.

I black out… Next morning we’re walking around finishing the rest of the vodka. we end up in a 200 person Women For Peace rally, holding hands and chanting in front of the town hall - next thing ya know about 1,000 protesters make their way inside to have an Anti-War Rally. Now I havent been to Iraq yet at this point but I still get pissed and walk on-stage with 2 other friends, we stand by the American Flag and refuse to move. We all get a standing ovation. We say fuck this and move on…

About noonish now - walk into a gas station and steal 3 12 packs.

Go to another store, steal a camel-back system and a pair of sunglasses.

While finishing the twelve packs some of my friends are off bum hunting so I go to a store steal a tank top and a hat.

No more beer so we hit on some cougars and drink their wine.

Go into a store, steal a 300$ purse, walk out and give it to a bum.

me and 1 friend run into a bar, take two double shots of 151 and run out. 2 bartenders and 2 civilians are chasing us, I outrun them all, pass out in a bush and puke. They caught my friend and gave him a black eye but thats it. I remember seeing a patrol car but at this point its hazy.

walking back to hotel, I steal him a belt, and black out. but allegedly, went to 2 or 3 restaurants and stole a couple bottles of beer from each.

Nightime falls, go to a liquor store, buy one bottle of Jager, reach around the counter and steal a bottle of orange vodka.

Go to Santa Barbara Campus, theres a block party and Sugarcult is playing for free. two of my friends get in a fight, one of them gets a chipped tooth, the other a broken thumb. I lose them but a girl comes up to me and asks me if Ill go back to her place.

I’m stealing all her beer as shes snorting coke and not noticing. go outside and two campus security ask me for ID. I’m 19 so I try to run but too drunk and get tackled. I go into drunk tank and meet one of the friends I lost at the concert.

Similar story about Vegas but that ones longer and more difficult to explain. sneaking into pools, clubs, robbing gas stations and running out of restaurants without paying.[/quote]

You sir, are awesome.

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[quote]ronaldo7 wrote:
Drizzt wrote:
Staying with the highschool theme…

I was at my buddies house. We were drinkin and smokin no big deal. Did it every weekend back then. We had to get drunk fast because his mom was on her way home. I ended up throwing back about 400ml at least of absolut. I was 150 lbs and a super light weight back then.

Well I drank a little to much; a little to fast. I ended up yaking all over his basement. I tried cleaning it up before his mom got home. Not happening. So his mom ended up helping me clean it up when she got home.

I woke up in this tiny spare bedroom in their basement… About an 8x6 room with no windows. I though I was in jail. Then my friends mom walked in with french toast, and she aparently tucked me into bed that previous night.

Still feel bad about it. We call it even though, my friend yaked all over my basement about a year previous to that.
Was she hot?
[/quote]

She is perty good lookin.
I’d hit it.

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DMB concert last year…

Pre-concert me and my friends are playing beer pong in the parking lot (we brought a table along). Security actually played with us for about five mintues. Anyway…

During the concert I take a hit off some kids blunt. There was totally something in that shit. I had never smoked any weed like that in my life, and I am no novice to the ganja. The world was spinning and everything was in slow mo. I was super high. Like Sky high. I basically layed on the ground for the last hour of the concert.

Not really knowing what I was doing, I smoked a shit ton more. Went into the camp grounds and chilled with these rastafarian guys. Dreds, beads, and wead. We baked out their camper and then I rolled back to my campsite with my friends. Somehow or another I managed to put my tent up. I passed out over a box of oreos.

Woke up the next morning, with no shoes on, no cell phone. Thank god I still had my wallet.

Good time.

It’s gona be even better this year.

44

Went out to my brothers college. I think I was a freshman and he was a junior. We were with my older brother too, a college grad.

Anyhow, they warned me of this thing called “liquid crack”. But I have a problem with taking my older brothers advice (mainly just animosity). So I had a beer, then another, but wasn’t getting drunk. So I grabbed the bottle of “liquid crack”.

I remember picking the bottle up, taking a sip and thinking “this stuff is pretty good”. I think I might have gotten through half of the bottle. After that, the night is bits and pieces. Next thing I know, I’m on the phone cursing at my best friend while taking a piss on someones shrubbery.

After that, I came to while my brother and I were apparently playing slap-for-punch. (Something I would never ever do, hence the punches I received to the face.) I thought it was hilarious and was laughing uncontrollably.

I remember getting freaky on the “dance floor” with some girl that actually spoke to me after that night. Not a bad looking girl.

I then woke up in someones shrubbery (the same shrubbery I pissed in earlier) and walked back to the party and told my brothers it was time to leave. They agreed.

I woke up in the middle of the night to my brother slapping me in the back of the head and telling me to go to the bathroom. Apparently I decided to take a shit on his desk chair.

Picture of the perpetrator attached.

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[quote]meangenes wrote:
Went out to my brothers college. I think I was a freshman and he was a junior. We were with my older brother too, a college grad.

Anyhow, they warned me of this thing called “liquid crack”. But I have a problem with taking my older brothers advice (mainly just animosity). So I had a beer, then another, but wasn’t getting drunk. So I grabbed the bottle of “liquid crack”.

I remember picking the bottle up, taking a sip and thinking “this stuff is pretty good”. I think I might have gotten through half of the bottle. After that, the night is bits and pieces. Next thing I know, I’m on the phone cursing at my best friend while taking a piss on someones shrubbery.

After that, I came to while my brother and I were apparently playing slap-for-punch. (Something I would never ever do, hence the punches I received to the face.) I thought it was hilarious and was laughing uncontrollably.

I remember getting freaky on the “dance floor” with some girl that actually spoke to me after that night. Not a bad looking girl.

I then woke up in someones shrubbery (the same shrubbery I pissed in earlier) and walked back to the party and told my brothers it was time to leave. They agreed.

I woke up in the middle of the night to my brother slapping me in the back of the head and telling me to go to the bathroom. Apparently I decided to take a shit on his desk chair.

Picture of the perpetrator attached. [/quote]

You must find us… A SHRUBBERY!

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I was so angry once i ripped a stop sign out of the ground.

Apart from that i stay sober.

48

St Patricks day about 6 years ago. I finished work early and one of my female collegues who i’d been casually sleeping with and I went to a pub to have a few.

We were playing pool and during our final game i said “let’s make it interesting. Who ever loses this game has to do what the other one wants” She was down and god dammit i lost!!

We left that pub at around 10pm absolutely rolling drunk and she was bagging me about what she was going to make me do. There was quite a bit of tension between us so it was all sex related.

Anyway we walked past this open air car wash that was closed and was used as a bit of a carpark and there was this amazing silver mercedes in the parking lot all by itself. Brand new and all shiny like. So she says “fuck me on top of that” and i wasn’t having a bar of it “everyone can see” “it’s out in the open” “look how many people are walking by” blah blah blah. So she starts making chicken noises at me like we were 10 years old.

Well that was all my manhood could take! I said alright then, and we walked over to the car. I was pretty nervous but I popped her up on the hood and hoisted up her skirt and slid on in. After a minute or two i was totally into it like it was nothing and was getting my porn star on.

People were looking as they walked past and a couple of guys had sat down on the other side of the street to watch. One car of dudes drove through twice just to holler at us. Was pretty funny. Anyway there was only so much i could handle and busted my nut half in her face and the other half down the side of this wonderful vehicle for which i’m very sorry for.

Pretty much as soon as i got my pecker in my pants SEVEN of my best friends (guys and girls)walked round the corner not 2 metres from us and just burst out laughing when they saw it was me. Apparently they had walked past on their way to the shops initially and couldn’t make out it was me but thought they’d walk back up close to see if “the couple” were still going at it.

I’ve never lived that down but i don’t care…

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Back in 2000, I went to the Pimp N Ho Costume Ball in Vegas and had a blast. My only problem is when I took too much X, and got sick. I puked in the bathroom for maybe 30 min and had some awesome hallucinations. Now that I look back, I don’t know what was real and what was a hallucination. The guys were dressed as pimps and the women were dressed in stuff that I was ridiculous. When a girl shows up in pasties on her nipples and her crotch, you know it’s going to be interesting…

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Well one time when I was about 18 me and my friends had a big ass bottle of captain morgans (biggest one 1 liter or 1/2 gal I think?). I was a whopping 130 lbs at this time drinking with my buddies who all were well above 180 lbs some pushing 200+.

So needless to say I was the first one drunk and making a mess of myself. After we got through more then half the bottle. I blacked out. My friend told me it all went downhill when I puked into the shot glass.

I didn’t remember shit the whole night. I guess I was whipping out my shit in front of my best friends sister and took a piss on his front door. Was screaming “I want PUSSSAY!!!” through the drive through the intercom at the local burrito joint.

Then another time I had the flu but my stupid ass decided I could drink through it. I meet up with 2 white girls. Had some cheap vodka, smoked a j. One girl grabs my hand after were sloshed and says “I’m so horny” I immediately am on top of her and last thing I remember is her drunk friend crying her eyes out something about “My parents are coming” and me trying to get this other chics bra off and then I blacked out.

To this day I don’t know what happened, I could have a little Carlito running around without a father.

One night @ 17 I drank with my homie who had a bottle of southern comfort. Were drinking on it then a friend of his comes over with some beer. We just start getting plastered and we blazed a little in a run down car in his backyard.

Next thing you know were jumping fences and I land right on my fucking face. I laid there for a while, then I crawled to the middle of the yard and started to black out/daze off.

Yet I remember seeing my friend and this other guy breaking into a truck stealing the stereo and some other shit. They bring me into the house and I commence to puked in his bathroom. I previously had ate licorice. So his sister was freaking out thinking it was blood.

Well next morning I wake up having to speak to police officers and get taken to the local department. Apparently the kid with the beer had fallen asleep with a cig and burnt most of his house down. Then the people who found out about their stolen shit pressed charges against my friend and that kid.

I just told the officer “I was so drunk I blacked out on the front lawn and don’t remember anything” I got off luckily.

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[quote]Drizzt wrote:
DMB concert last year…

Pre-concert me and my friends are playing beer pong in the parking lot (we brought a table along). Security actually played with us for about five mintues. Anyway…

During the concert I take a hit off some kids blunt. There was totally something in that shit. I had never smoked any weed like that in my life, and I am no novice to the ganja. The world was spinning and everything was in slow mo. I was super high. Like Sky high. I basically layed on the ground for the last hour of the concert.

Not really knowing what I was doing, I smoked a shit ton more. Went into the camp grounds and chilled with these rastafarian guys. Dreds, beads, and wead. We baked out their camper and then I rolled back to my campsite with my friends. Somehow or another I managed to put my tent up. I passed out over a box of oreos.

Woke up the next morning, with no shoes on, no cell phone. Thank god I still had my wallet.

Good time.

It’s gona be even better this year.[/quote]

fucking right its gonna be even better dude, thats gonna be a moderate experience to what this year will be.

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Bout this time last year, Munster won the Heineken Cup Final(European Rugby Cup) and being huge fans, some of my friends and I were out from about noon that day drinking.

Anyways, they won, and we were pretty damned sloshed. We spent another 4/5 hours drinking at the bar before making our way to our friends 18th birthday party(18 is the legal age for drinking at stuff over here). Having had no food for he entire day we are the only people even mildly drunk at the party which is just starting to kick off(and boy are we hammered). We’re all dancing and talking and it’s a pretty good night. I take a seat with another can of cider and this local girl girl(the local bike) sits down on my lap straight away and starts eating my face off(and boy am I loving it at this point)

Missing hour or two
In the club, meet an old friend who’s birthday had just passed and he decides to get me a shot of GoldSchlaager(the stuff with gold dust). Only he was friendly with the barman and he got a triple instead. I remember scoffing when he told me it would get me drunk(I was barely standing at this point) but I actualy can’t remember anything until about two hours later when I’m making my way up to a tiny parking lot near the local fast food place for piss.
Lights behind me tells me the cops had arrived. I finish up(it took a while) and accept my fate by approaching the passenger window where they asked for ID, address and all the usuals. They let me go then and I made my way back down to the post-club crowd.
Next thing I remember two really hot girls are rubbibg my back as I puke my guts up, tears streaming down my face(don’t think I was crying, just getting sick that hard) and trying to apologise to everyone for ruining their night.
I was bundled into a car with some guy I didn’t know and he drove me home(I know what your thinking, but I remember the journey and no I was not raped). I somehow managed to get my key in the door and take my contact lenses out. Brilliant, now all I have to do is find my bedroom and pass out where desired.

Nope, according to my family. I made my way into my mothers room, sat down against the wardrobe, took off my shoe’s and started giving out(from what they could discern) about my sister. When my other sister came in to see what happened, I started giving out to her instead.
I woke up the next morning with no cell-phone, sick on my clothes that I was still wearing passed out on my bedroom floor.
Great