Thank you CALlaw. I didn’t post that to show how much of a badass I was for fighting him. I ‘lost’ the fight, for God’s sake. I wrestle and box with my friends, so does that mean I’m bipolar, or does it mean I’m constantly trying to prove my manhood to anyone and everyone around me? No, I just like the physical nature of it, that’s why I’ve played sports my whole life. Sure, popcorn being thrown at you is no big deal, but when that happens for 90 minutes, along with some douche smacking you in the head when you’re minding your own business, a reaction like that probably shouldn’t be much of a surprise. You can call me stupid or bipolar or anything you want, but come on, I’m 17, I think about either A) sex; or B) fighting. If that makes me the biggest douche in the world for having testosterone in my body, then I don’t think that is a fault of my own. And also, that being my first post ever, I wasn’t really looking to get into a fight. I posted my opinion.
[quote]C?sar wrote:
MightyMaus wrote:
Some day if someone asks nice I might tell the story about how I let a drunk pilot kick my ass on purpose. That’s another one for the “strange but true” file.
My dear Sir, Will you please be so kind as to tell that story 
[/quote]
Alright, here goes. To quote The Princess Pride - “Humiliations GALORE”
Last year I had been living in this really nice apartment complex for about 2 years. I had an awesome spread on the first floor with a walkout right onto the pool and hot tub. This place was pussy central. If I wasn’t engaged to a 24 yr old total hottie I would have been out sniping ass every weekend at that pool.
Anyway, about 6 months before the fight happened this couple moved into the building next to me. The guy was a pilot and the girl was this incredible brunette. Honestly, you guys can’t comprehend the hotness. Think of Anne Hathaway with Jessica Alba’s face. Seriously, this girl was 5’8" of the hottest ass I’ve ever seen.
Well, she and my fiancee hit it off and we would up hanging out with this couple quite a bit. I enjoyed looking at her like any guy, but I kept it totally cool and was a gentleman all the time. It became pretty obvious to everyone that the guy was a total alcoholic though. If he didn’t have to fly the next day, he would sit out by the pool and drink til 3 or 4 am. He was literally staggering drunk 2 or 3 nights a week.
Anyway, he happened to be away on a flight cycle for about a week when his girlfriend’s birthday came around. She was pretty depressed that he was gone so a bunch of us took her out to dinner. I went along and took my 13 yr old daughter with me. We had to leave early so my daughter could get to bed for school the next day so I went over to her and put my arm around her. I wished her a happy birthday and I patted her on the knee when I told her to cheer up because her boyfriend would be home the next evening.
And I forgot about the whole thing… Two weeks went by.
I’m dead asleep at 2AM on a Tuesday (or Wednesday morning depending on how you think about that shit) and I heard someone pounding on my back door. So I threw on a bathrobe and stumbled out to the back door. I looked out through the window in the door and see this guy banging on the door.
So, thinking something horrible has happened and he has come over for help, I opened the door and said “Hey man, you OK?”.
He came barreling through the door yelling something totally incoherent. He’s about 6 inches taller than me and about 50 lbs heavier (mostly fat). I’m still about 90% asleep and caught completely by surprise so I get tangled up with him and we stumble back into my couch.
He lands on top of me and gets his hand on my throat and pins my left arm down. My right arm is wedged in between me and the back of the couch pretty tight and I’m thinking I’m about to die at the hands of some guy I thought was my buddy.
Then my fiancee comes out and starts screaming at him to get off me while she’s pulling on him. In all honesty if I wasn’t being choked at the time it woulda been sorta hot and funny because she was only wearing panties. So here’s this 110lb 5 foot tall, half naked girl with size E boobies (yes, natural boys, she’s a freak) screaming and tossing her hair around while she’s slapping and yanking on this big dope.
Right about this time two things happened. He loosened his grip a little and started yelling “I know what you did! I know!” and my old fighting instincts kicked in. I realized I could leg hook his neck with my left leg and put the back of his head into my coffee table and knock him out.
So I know what you’re thinking “Why didn’t you do it dumbass?”. Well, I suffer from an overabundance of compassion. I could tell he was really upset more than mad, was so drunk he didn’t know what he was doing, and I knew this had to just be a misunderstanding.
So I tried to talk to him now that his grip was loosened, but he really wasn’t having any of it. Then he slid to the left and I realized I was screwed. He was on my left leg and my right wasn’t going to get the right angle. He started to tighten up on my neck and I thought that was it.
Then fate, providence, whatever you wanna call it intervened.
A good buddy of mine was coming home from bouncing at a local bar and heard my fiancee screaming. Now this guy is about 5’7" and weighs about 250, mostly hard muscle from years at the gym and eating his steriod crunchies every morning.
He comes running in and throws this guy off of me. One push puts the guy into the doorframe of my back door so hard the guy just sits down with that look on his face that he’s about to check out. But he got up after a second and this time comes after my fiancee. At this point I’m pretty fucking mad. So I got in between them and gave this guy a front thrust kick to the solar plexus. He went down like a ton of bricks and my buddy tossed him outside. We locked the back door and called the cops. By the time they got there though, the guy was gone.
So the next day we find out through a mutual acquaintance why all this happened. Apparently, while he was out drinking by the pool that night, another girl who was at the dinner sat and talked to him. Now this little bitch has hated my fiancee for no good reason since the day we moved in. Probably had something to do with her being ugly and jealous. She told him that I felt up his girl while at that dinner and that she thought we were fucking around while he was away.
Well, his girlfriend was so pissed at him about this that she made him come over and apologize. I got the feeling there was no nookie for a LOOOONG time after that. About a month later he got fired for showing up drunk to fly. The girlfriend left him and moved back to Arkansas and he went back to Texas to work construction for his brother.
So that’s it. I’m embarrassed to talk about it even now.
Thank you, that was a good story.
You have good story telling abilities.
Keep’em coming guys
[quote]Kulturkampf wrote:
You can call me stupid or bipolar or anything you want, but come on, I’m 17, I think about either A) sex; or B) fighting. If that makes me the biggest douche in the world for having testosterone in my body, then I don’t think that is a fault of my own.[/quote]
LOL. You actually score points for this explanation. That’s pretty funny.
[quote]MightyMaus wrote:
So that’s it. I’m embarrassed to talk about it even now.[/quote]
That was actually an entertaining story, but you gotta realize that that wasn’t a fight, that was combat. You should have killed that guy (and I don’t mean figuratively).
You are crazy for letting that him go that far on you. Compassion ain’t no good if you’re dead, and that motherfucker sounded like he aimed to kill you.
You are one lucky son of a bitch.
[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
MightyMaus wrote:
So that’s it. I’m embarrassed to talk about it even now.
That was actually an entertaining story, but you gotta realize that that wasn’t a fight, that was combat. You should have killed that guy (and I don’t mean figuratively).
You are crazy for letting that him go that far on you. Compassion ain’t no good if you’re dead, and that motherfucker sounded like he aimed to kill you.
You are one lucky son of a bitch.[/quote]
I would agree with you, but I spent years in the ring and developed the ability to really detach during a fight. I could really tell he didn’t intend to hurt me. The whole time he had his hand on my throat he never really squeezed, just used it to pin me. Plus I know how the law usually works and I didn’t need to spend a night in jail. I’m a professional now and in my line of work your criminal record comes to light fast.
If my buddy hadn’t come in and this guy hadn’t back off or if he had made a move that showed real clear intent I would have switched modes. He was pretty out of shape soi I know I could have moved him.
[quote]C?sar wrote:
Thank you, that was a good story.
You have good story telling abilities.
Keep’em coming guys :-)[/quote]
Yeah, it was some nice BS alright.
I really should know better than to read this thread. Some of these stories may be true, but I doubt it. If so, they are ridiculously exaggerated. HOWEVER, makes for some fun campfire stories.
Most people I know that can kick some serious ass…don’t talk about it, keep to themselves, and are not overly cocky, unlike the overall vibe I get from all of your bullshit stories.
Sorry.
some of these stories are funny and complete BS
other are true
Mighty Mouse sounds pretty legit,
ooo and the sonic one too…
i can telll
cuz:
some aliens were trying to abduct me, kicked some booty and ate them, medium rare, lots of protien in alien meat.
Anyways i got powers, of Justice!
[quote]back211 wrote:
some of these stories are funny and complete BS
other are true
Mighty Mouse sounds pretty legit,
ooo and the sonic one too…
i can telll
cuz:
some aliens were trying to abduct me, kicked some booty and ate them, medium rare, lots of protien in alien meat.
Anyways i got powers, of Justice![/quote]
LOL
[quote]nickels wrote:
Why waste your time pumping iron when you could be pumping dicks?
-A.D.C.[/quote]
[quote]Eddie_would_tow wrote:
C?sar wrote:
Thank you, that was a good story.
You have good story telling abilities.
Keep’em coming guys
Yeah, it was some nice BS alright.
I really should know better than to read this thread. Some of these stories may be true, but I doubt it. If so, they are ridiculously exaggerated. HOWEVER, makes for some fun campfire stories.
Most people I know that can kick some serious ass…don’t talk about it, keep to themselves, and are not overly cocky, unlike the overall vibe I get from all of your bullshit stories.
Sorry.
[/quote]
In all honesty, I wish the story about the pilot was BS. Not exactly my most shining moment. Talking about being pinned on my couch in my bathrobe by some fat slob, while my itty bitty girlfriend does the cat scratch fever on his back, isn’t what I would term “cocky” storytelling.
The other story just is what it is. Sorry to disappoint.
[quote]MightyMaus wrote:
Eddie_would_tow wrote:
C?sar wrote:
Thank you, that was a good story.
You have good story telling abilities.
Keep’em coming guys
Yeah, it was some nice BS alright.
I really should know better than to read this thread. Some of these stories may be true, but I doubt it. If so, they are ridiculously exaggerated. HOWEVER, makes for some fun campfire stories.
Most people I know that can kick some serious ass…don’t talk about it, keep to themselves, and are not overly cocky, unlike the overall vibe I get from all of your bullshit stories.
Sorry.
In all honesty, I wish the story about the pilot was BS. Not exactly my most shining moment. Talking about being pinned on my couch in my bathrobe by some fat slob, while my itty bitty girlfriend does the cat scratch fever on his back, isn’t what I would term “cocky” storytelling.
The other story just is what it is. Sorry to disappoint.[/quote]
Dangit! I am disappointed! And I thought your stories were false! You have proven yourself to me. Congratulations!
[quote]Eddie_would_tow wrote:
MightyMaus wrote:
Eddie_would_tow wrote:
C?sar wrote:
Thank you, that was a good story.
You have good story telling abilities.
Keep’em coming guys
Yeah, it was some nice BS alright.
I really should know better than to read this thread. Some of these stories may be true, but I doubt it. If so, they are ridiculously exaggerated. HOWEVER, makes for some fun campfire stories.
Most people I know that can kick some serious ass…don’t talk about it, keep to themselves, and are not overly cocky, unlike the overall vibe I get from all of your bullshit stories.
Sorry.
In all honesty, I wish the story about the pilot was BS. Not exactly my most shining moment. Talking about being pinned on my couch in my bathrobe by some fat slob, while my itty bitty girlfriend does the cat scratch fever on his back, isn’t what I would term “cocky” storytelling.
The other story just is what it is. Sorry to disappoint.
Dangit! I am disappointed! And I thought your stories were false! You have proven yourself to me. Congratulations![/quote]
Thanks, I make it a point to establish my self confidence by earning the respect of anonymous a**holes on the Internet by telling them tall tales.
Wow.
[quote]MightyMaus wrote:
I make it a point to establish my self confidence by earning the respect of anonymous a**holes on the Internet by telling them tall tales.
Wow.[/quote]
Obviously…
Because it must have taken some time typing all that entertaining stuff, eh?
Say…where may I purchase your latest book?
[quote]Eddie_would_tow wrote:
MightyMaus wrote:
I make it a point to establish my self confidence by earning the respect of anonymous a**holes on the Internet by telling them tall tales.
Wow.
Obviously…
Because it must have taken some time typing all that entertaining stuff, eh?
Say…where may I purchase your latest book?[/quote]
Dude, it’s not my shit, but really, why is it so difficult for people to believe anything that anyone says? I seriously doubt he had anything to prove by merely telling a story, and IMO, I don’t think it sounds made-up. If I wanted to tell some bullshit story to wow everyone here, I’d probably make it out that I beat some douche’s ass. That’s not what his story was. Unless you happen to be a pilot, I doubt you were personally insulted by his story. Suck it up dude.
I suppose it wasn’t particularly MightyMaus’ story that I was targeting…he just happened to be the most recent. His first story sounded like BS. His second story seemed like it could have been true, at least in part.
You’re right: there’s nothing to gain by telling a story on the internet…it’s all just a cock-measuring contest. It seems pretty childish to me. I do admit I feel dumb for reading this thread…
I just enjoy being a skeptic. Blow it out your ASS if you don’t like it LOL
Great story. I heard there are insane street fights in Guam…crews just drive to the beach to settle things out. When were you there and where did you train?
To the guys and girls arguing over whether to fight or not…I believe a good fighter has an instinct to pop the pins on hand grenades. That’s why he’s a fighter. I am constantly trying to keep my man from killing punks that mouth him off…comes with the territory. I know who I’m dating. I know what would happen if a rando grabbed my ass in the bar…a nice vacay in the hospital and all you can drip IV, free of charge.
[quote]boatguy wrote:
When I was stationed in Guam, I took aikido lessons for about 3-4 months. After I almost got my arm broke twice by overzealous training partners, and was ‘awarded’ my green belt when I paid my 4th months dues, I stopped going. My wife(fiancee at the time) would come and watch class, but not participate.
[/quote]
Well, I guess if you read my first story from a certain viewpoint it could sound like some chest beating BS about beating some douchebags ass. So I guess I can see his point about it and why he’s skeptical. It really did happen though and my reason for writing it was to see if anyone else had experienced that weird “moment of clarity” thing. That’s why I kept the actual fight part as short as I could. If I wanted to brag I guess I could have done more of a blow by blow account, but that’s not what I was after.
The reality of fighting is a lot like baseball. Guys who only strike/foul/fly out 60-70% of the time are considered at the top of the game. You only hear about fighters after they get to the top and are winning 80-90% of their fights. No one hears about the years they spent getting their asses pounded. I know I spent a lot of time on my back on the mat wondering how the f*ck I got there.
Thanks for the compliments on my writing though. Too bad it doesn’t pay the bills.
Thought I would share this one. A few days ago, after watching the latest UFC PPV we go downtown. Where doing our on thing but this place is PACKED, someone buts into my buddy, a guy I train Judo with, anyway, the get into a little bit, and it escalates to the point where we all agree to go outside. These two square off. Now this may one on of those moments where you have to be there, and maybe only funny to someone that trains Judo. My buddy, hits a HUGE seionage, but like it was practice or something, supports the guy on his way down. So this guy hits the ground, but mostly just his legs and hes OK, but one of my other friends runs up and SMASHES this guy in the face with a punch while were all kinda standing there like “What the fuck?”. I LOST IT laughing. Maybe just me?