“And I’m spent.”
[quote]kroby wrote:
Bah!
Shit, Varqanir, that was a sheep sound that just escaped my keyboard![/quote]
Be strong, Kroby! Don’t give in! Think happy thoughts!
Since this thread has already hit theodocy-- it never fails, does it?-- I guess I’ll throw in this derivative.
If God is all knowing and all good, loving us all, why did he let this thread exist? Or is this Old Testament God at work?
The Bible was written by hippies. 
…EVIL Hippies.
[quote]etaco wrote:
Since this thread has already hit theodocy-- it never fails, does it?-- I guess I’ll throw in this derivative.
If God is all knowing and all good, loving us all, why did he let this thread exist? Or is this Old Testament God at work?[/quote]
Nope. This masterpiece of a thread was a collaboration of Eris, goddess of Strife (the true author of Pappapump’s Hottest Vixen thread) who whispered encouragements to Headhunter; and Loki, god of mischief, who bears a really strong resemblance to Harris.
[quote]malonetd wrote:
JPBear wrote:
In order to prove a Biblical inconsistency you would have to show me one passage that contradicts another. You have not done that.
There are many contradictions and inconsistencies in the Bible. Give me time to break out my copy and I will point some out to you.[/quote]
You’re late!
Check the link four posts above yours.
[quote]JPBear wrote:
Varqanir wrote:
BarneyFife wrote:
JP, question.
Somewhere in the Bible it also says for Christians not to divorce their spouses if they are not Christians, and I think it says something to the effect that the spouses will be saved by the beleif of the christian spouse. true or untrue?
Hey, now, let’s not get into biblical inconsistencies here. The book of Leviticus says that it is an abomination to touch the skin of a pig… what would that do to American football?
And not touching a menstruating woman? I think Nate Dogg, WideGuy and I would be on the next bus to hell if that law was still being enforced.
In order to prove a Biblical inconsistency you would have to show me one passage that contradicts another. You have not done that.
[/quote]
I am not Biblically wise enough, but I think Jesus told us we could eat of the cloven hoof.
Question, if you don’t mind sharing an intimate detail of your life, jp, does your husband stay the hell away from you one week a month?
I don’t understand the menstruation thing. it seems that loving your spouse and being faithful to them is important, but if she is menstruating then treat her like a dirty heathen.
If I go to Hell for touching a menstruating woman, then at least I am going for something that doesn’t hurt anyone else.
JP,
Don’t be silly. We’ve just hashed these issues out in two or three threads in the politics forum. Believe me, it was anti-productive.
The topic generally “becomes” offensive and it threatens me in no way. In terms of the misquotes and mischaracterizations, would you mind not being such a bitch?
[quote]BarneyFife wrote:
I am not Biblically wise enough, but I think Jesus told us we could eat of the cloven hoof.
[/quote]
A Brief History of Approved Foods under Judaism and Christianity:
In the Garden: All fruits. Well, except from that tree over there. Feed the leafy green stuff to the animals.
After the Fall: Anything you want: fish, foul, beast. Go for it.
After the Exodus: No pork, no seafood, no scaleless fish, no rare meat, no fat, no meat and milk in the same dish, no leavened bread on certain days, etc., etc., etc.
Jesus’ time: Same as after the Exodus. If anything, a little stricter. Jesus never ate pork, never mixed meat and dairy, probably ate matzo balls for Passover, and maybe even had two sets of dishes.
Paul’s time: Anything you want: fish, foul, beast. Go for it.
[quote]Sabrina wrote:
kroby wrote:
What the hell were we talking about earlier? It sure was more fun than this.
Cream pies.
[/quote]
OMFG! Last night I went to this little take-out place names Mom’s, and there was a sign up “Try Mom’s cream pie! Best in the world!” I laughed so hard I nearly poo’ed.
True story
Wait, we go to hell if we touch menstruating women?
I AM DOOMED
[quote]Aleksandr wrote:
OMFG! Last night I went to this little take-out place names Mom’s, and there was a sign up “Try Mom’s cream pie! Best in the world!” I laughed so hard I nearly poo’ed.
True story[/quote]
LMAO!!! Mom’s cream pie! Now that I think on it just a bit more… disgusting! But the advertisement is capital!
[quote]Aleksandr wrote:
Sabrina wrote:
kroby wrote:
What the hell were we talking about earlier? It sure was more fun than this.
Cream pies.
I laughed so hard I nearly poo’ed.
True story[/quote]
Hey watch your mouth. This is a family thread here.
DB
[quote]BarneyFife wrote:
I don’t understand the menstruation thing. it seems that loving your spouse and being faithful to them is important, but if she is menstruating then treat her like a dirty heathen.[/quote]
Don’t you mean “bloody heathen”?
I have no time to argue with all of you, so I will just say a couple of quick things:
Barney - Of course not. Jesus came so that God could establish a new covenant. The terms of the old covenant, the cleanliness and ceremonial laws, were done away with. Jesus allows God’s people to approach him directly just as they are. That is why the veil of the temple was torn in two when Jesus died.
Varqanir - Your list is ridiculous. I could explain each one of these “inconsistencies”, and I would if I thought it would help you. But I have the suspicion that this list did not cause your unbelief, it just makes you feel better about it.
In regards to the sheep thing, you have not pointed out anything profound. God’s people are often illustrated as sheep. You think that is a bad thing because you do not want to humble yourself before God. You want to be your own god.
JP:
You do not know anything about me, what I believe, or what my relationship with God might be. Do not flatter yourself by assuming that you do.
[quote]JPBear wrote:
You want to be your own god.
[/quote]
I never understood that…
I do not want to be my own God, I have to be because there seems to be nothing else out there…
How that is preferable to give in to fairy tales, I honestly don?t know…
It is easy to believe in God, it is hard to face a reality where there is no God and human beings are the ultimate judges…
Thank God I have so much faith in human reason or else I might despair…
Yup, we are that inmature and childish that we want to be our own Gods…
You can do better than that…
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
JP:
You do not know anything about me, what I believe, or what my relationship with God might be. Do not flatter yourself by assuming that you do.[/quote]
I know plenty about you. You have posted on these boards almost 900 times sharing your stories and views about a variety of subjects.
JPBear, instead of trying to debate with us that your belief system is the only and correct one, why don’t you just say we’re all crazy and be done with it? We can still be friends even if I’m/we’re crazy.
Where’s my friend pookie?
Varqanir, I’m on my way to Verona. Care to come along and see what else may be “drawn among these heartless hinds?”
“Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace,
Profaners of this neighbour-stained steel,–
Will they not hear? What, ho! you men, you beasts,
That quench the fire of your pernicious rage
With purple fountains issuing from your veins,
On pain of torture, from those bloody hands
Throw your mistemper’d weapons to the ground,
And hear the sentence of your moved prince.
Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word,
By thee, old [u]Evildewers, and Righteous,[/u]
Have thrice disturb’d the quiet of our streets,
And made Verona’s ancient citizens
Cast by their grave beseeming ornaments,
To wield old partisans, in hands as old,
Canker’d with peace, to part your canker’d hate:
If ever you disturb our streets again,
Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace.
For this time, all the rest depart away:
You Evildewers; shall go along with me:
And, Righteous, come you this afternoon,
To know our further pleasure in this case,
To old Free-town, our common judgment-place.
Once more, on pain of death, all men depart.”