[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Sneed: Who ever said anything about making a kid SWALLOW soap?
[/quote]
No one said that. But if the kid has soap in his mouth and is blubbering hysterically, I think it’s reasonable to assume he may end up swallowing some.
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Actually, you CAN be. Again, no one here has offered where the line is. Is a cigarette to the arm OK? Why or why not? Is it that it will leave a mark? Please, this will be my third time asking.
[/quote]
I offered exactly where the line is when I said that it is ABUSE if you leave marks on a child. Cigarettes to the arm would be abuse. Hot sauce in the mouth, no. Also, I am still waiting to hear from all of you that had parents that never did anything that if caught on video would have some of you saying the same things about them.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]spiderman739 wrote:
If you are talking about kids from housing estates, projects, or rough areas then of course it is a very different kettle of fish. [/quote]
Bullshit. It is either right ALL OF THE TIME or wrong ALL OF THE TIME. You can’t say it is ok for Anthony in the projects you not ok for Edward in Bellaire. This is why some of us are calling “hypocrite” to some of these responses. I was reprimanded and spanked. I don’t think I turned out wrong at all.
We live in a country where most of you claim the youth of today have issues with being weak yet those same people apparently want kids raised with zero physical discipline.[/quote]
It’s not okay for Edward or Anthony. There is a difference between spanked and reprimanded and RITUAL ABUSE. I for one never advocated no physical discipline. I don’t always agree with it, try to avoid it for the most part, but at the end of the day, am not that troubled by it as long as its reasonable and swift. The idea that a kid from the projects requires a different form of punishment than Edward from the burbs is fucking absurd beyond the pale. If anything, the kid from the city is too well acquainted with violence.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Actually, you CAN be. Again, no one here has offered where the line is. Is a cigarette to the arm OK? Why or why not? Is it that it will leave a mark? Please, this will be my third time asking.
[/quote]
I offered exactly where the line is when I said that it is ABUSE if you leave marks on a child. Cigarettes to the arm would be abuse. Hot sauce in the mouth, no. Also, I am still waiting to hear from all of you that had parents that never did anything that if caught on video would have some of you saying the same things about them.
[/quote]
You’re missing the point with your closing remark. I’m sure all parents, myself included, would take back moments if we could. The difference with this lady is that this “parenting” is the custom in her house. STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE. And by the way, you cannot use objects such as extension cords, belts and such and not risk leaving permanent marks. Too bad you’re not recognizing that abuse can be emotional as well.
Wow…a kid gets a cold shower and some Tabasco and it’s the end of the world to some of you.
Nobody here can tell her what she did was wrong. Do you know her? The boy? If my child got in trouble 3 times in 1 day there would be some kind of action to correct it.
Personally I take things away for punishment. I don’t use soap, belts etc. I remove TV, computer, play with friends. I have 2 girls.
Now, some of those little demon male children out there, I don’t know what I would do, but a cold shower is far from torture.
Everyone’s style is different, but she’s not beating the kid, which was an acceptable form of punishment 20 years ago…
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Actually, you CAN be. Again, no one here has offered where the line is. Is a cigarette to the arm OK? Why or why not? Is it that it will leave a mark? Please, this will be my third time asking.
[/quote]
I offered exactly where the line is when I said that it is ABUSE if you leave marks on a child. Cigarettes to the arm would be abuse. Hot sauce in the mouth, no. Also, I am still waiting to hear from all of you that had parents that never did anything that if caught on video would have some of you saying the same things about them.
[/quote]
Do words leave marks? Does pepper spray leave marks? Locking a kid in a freezer leave a mark? Waterboarding leave a mark?
[quote]Rockscar wrote:
Wow…a kid gets a cold shower and some Tabasco and it’s the end of the world to some of you.
[/quote]
Not at all.
[quote]
Everyone’s style is different, but she’s not beating the kid, which was an acceptable form of punishment 20 years ago…[/quote]
Still is.
[quote]Rockscar wrote:
Wow…a kid gets a cold shower and some Tabasco and it’s the end of the world to some of you.
Nobody here can tell her what she did was wrong. Do you know her? The boy? If my child got in trouble 3 times in 1 day there would be some kind of action to correct it.
Personally I take things away for punishment. I don’t use soap, belts etc. I remove TV, computer, play with friends. I have 2 girls.
Now, some of those little demon male children out there, I don’t know what I would do, but a cold shower is far from torture.
Everyone’s style is different, but she’s not beating the kid, which was an acceptable form of punishment 20 years ago…[/quote]
Exactly.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]165StateChamp wrote:
I do not see a problem here. When I was younger, my mother and father would use a belt on me if I misbehaved. My mother has poured hot sauce down my throat and nose. I lived with my grandfather from age 8 to 10 and he would hit me with a stick if I did something wrong. I’ve turned out fine. I’d say my behavior got worse once that type of punishment stopped being used on me, but I’m still a successful individual primarily because of the discipline my parents instilled in me. To say that type of behavior will ‘screw a child up in the future’ is ignorant; it depends on the child’s internal makeup. Some people can take that type of punishment, others can’t.
When I have children, I don’t think I’ll discipline them like that. It doesn’t mesh with the way I interact with people. I do see a lot of merit in it though. [/quote]
I agree completely. From many of the responses here, I guess my parents should have put in jail. Instead, they raised the only black doctor from the entire neighborhood I grew up in.[/quote]
You mean dentist. ;)[/quote]
No, I mean what I wrote.[/quote]
Okay, Mr. Dentist. I love you, too.
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Actually, you CAN be. Again, no one here has offered where the line is. Is a cigarette to the arm OK? Why or why not? Is it that it will leave a mark? Please, this will be my third time asking.
[/quote]
I offered exactly where the line is when I said that it is ABUSE if you leave marks on a child. Cigarettes to the arm would be abuse. Hot sauce in the mouth, no. Also, I am still waiting to hear from all of you that had parents that never did anything that if caught on video would have some of you saying the same things about them.
[/quote]
Do words leave marks? Does pepper spray leave marks? Locking a kid in a freezer leave a mark? Waterboarding leave a mark?[/quote]
What kinds of homes did some of you live in where your parents NEVER used any words that hurt your feelings or used any discipline methods that ever, and I mean EVER, left a mark of any kind whatsoever?
This is ridiculous. Yes, spanking leaves marks but that is a huge difference from an OPEN WOUND. if this needs that much explanation, I can only assume none of you were ever spanked or verbally reprimanded in a way that EVER hurt your feelings.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]spiderman739 wrote:
There is a huge difference between disciplining/punishing your child, and harming your child.
When I as a kid I got my fair share of smacks (all deserved) and feel that it did me no harm and in fact taught me a lesson. Never did my parents cause me any harm by the punishments I received.
When my daughter is naughty she gets a swift smack. She cries, says sorry, and doesn’t do it again. I have never once harmed my daughter when disciplining her.
This is way over the top. She isn’t causing physical harm but listen to the poor kid scream. He was terrified. Any parent who terrifies their kid is no parent at all.[/quote]
…and all some of us are saying is that you have a whole generation that was raised on getting beat with a stick from a tree that I am sure, had there been youtube, would have gotten several thousands of parents on national tv.
But alas, there was no youtube and I can’t even count the number of stories I’ve heard in my life time of switches, extension cords, belts and broomsticks being used as discipline.
That doesn’t mean I agree with hotsauce either and if I do have kids, they will probably be bad as hell due to me not wanting to touch them in anger.
To me, poor parenting is NOT telling your kid what they did wrong yet beating them anyway. That is true child abuse.
Leaving lasting wounds on your kid is child abuse.
This is over the top, but if this counts as child abuse, we better go load up a few thousand squad cars with the parents of Generation X.[/quote]
Don’t forget the brushes, wooden spoons, dough roller things, curling irons, stiletto heels, frying pans, fists, and actual paddles.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Actually, you CAN be. Again, no one here has offered where the line is. Is a cigarette to the arm OK? Why or why not? Is it that it will leave a mark? Please, this will be my third time asking.
[/quote]
I offered exactly where the line is when I said that it is ABUSE if you leave marks on a child. Cigarettes to the arm would be abuse. Hot sauce in the mouth, no. Also, I am still waiting to hear from all of you that had parents that never did anything that if caught on video would have some of you saying the same things about them.
[/quote]
Do words leave marks? Does pepper spray leave marks? Locking a kid in a freezer leave a mark? Waterboarding leave a mark?[/quote]
What kinds of homes did some of you live in where your parents NEVER used any words that your feelings or used any discipline methods that ever, and I mean EVER, left a mark of any kind whatsoever?
This is ridiculous. Yes, spanking leaves marks but that is a huge difference from an OPEN WOUND. if this needs that much explanation, I can only assume none of you were ever spanked or verbally reprimanded in a way that EVER hurt your feelings.[/quote]
If your passively addressing me, then you would be very, VERY wrong (clueless, in fact) – And you’re not getting the difference between anger/discipline and ritual (habitual) abuse.
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Actually, you CAN be. Again, no one here has offered where the line is. Is a cigarette to the arm OK? Why or why not? Is it that it will leave a mark? Please, this will be my third time asking.
[/quote]
I offered exactly where the line is when I said that it is ABUSE if you leave marks on a child. Cigarettes to the arm would be abuse. Hot sauce in the mouth, no. Also, I am still waiting to hear from all of you that had parents that never did anything that if caught on video would have some of you saying the same things about them.
[/quote]
Do words leave marks? Does pepper spray leave marks? Locking a kid in a freezer leave a mark? Waterboarding leave a mark?[/quote]
What kinds of homes did some of you live in where your parents NEVER used any words that your feelings or used any discipline methods that ever, and I mean EVER, left a mark of any kind whatsoever?
This is ridiculous. Yes, spanking leaves marks but that is a huge difference from an OPEN WOUND. if this needs that much explanation, I can only assume none of you were ever spanked or verbally reprimanded in a way that EVER hurt your feelings.[/quote]
If your passively addressing me, then you would be very, VERY wrong (clueless, in fact) – And you’re not getting the difference between anger/discipline and ritual (habitual) abuse.[/quote]
Ritual abuse? By whose terms? It was A REGULAR OCCURRENCE to see my parents tell whichever kid was in trouble to go get the branch they would be whipped with. I don’t remember one spanking where no crying occurred and there were no “cries of terror”. That was as much ritual as some woman telling her son that you don’t lie in that house and then telling them what the consequences are.
It would be ABUSE if the kid was being treated that way for no reason or was not being told what they did wrong.
Unless you know this kid and all of the emotional problems he has or doesn’t have, how can you stand outside and call this “ritual abuse”? On what terms?
Young guy here so this is recent forme. I was a little shit age 2-4, I’d laugh at timeouts, weak stuff like that, and even laugh when they’d spank me, so it escalated until i didnt like it. What worked for me was taking my stuff, depriving me of freedom. The only problem I see in this video is that that the woman is yelling at the kid. If she was completely stonefaced, calm and collected I dont think anyone would have a problem with it.
If she calmly said “you lied to me about pulling 3 cards didnt you? yes? drink the hotsauce” it wouldnt seem as over the top. plus i find that detachment much scarier personally. But in all honesty, this would be laughed at in India and China, which also happen to be the fastest developing nations in the world.
All of my friends from those countries are outstanding, they respect their parents, teachers, etc and dont get in trouble because they know the consequences. I would put up the russell peters bit about beating your kids but i dont have time to find it right now
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Actually, you CAN be. Again, no one here has offered where the line is. Is a cigarette to the arm OK? Why or why not? Is it that it will leave a mark? Please, this will be my third time asking.
[/quote]
I offered exactly where the line is when I said that it is ABUSE if you leave marks on a child. Cigarettes to the arm would be abuse. Hot sauce in the mouth, no. Also, I am still waiting to hear from all of you that had parents that never did anything that if caught on video would have some of you saying the same things about them.
[/quote]
Do words leave marks? Does pepper spray leave marks? Locking a kid in a freezer leave a mark? Waterboarding leave a mark?[/quote]
What kinds of homes did some of you live in where your parents NEVER used any words that your feelings or used any discipline methods that ever, and I mean EVER, left a mark of any kind whatsoever?
This is ridiculous. Yes, spanking leaves marks but that is a huge difference from an OPEN WOUND. if this needs that much explanation, I can only assume none of you were ever spanked or verbally reprimanded in a way that EVER hurt your feelings.[/quote]
If your passively addressing me, then you would be very, VERY wrong (clueless, in fact) – And you’re not getting the difference between anger/discipline and ritual (habitual) abuse.[/quote]
Ritual abuse? By whose terms? It was A REGULAR OCCURRENCE to see my parents tell whichever kid was in trouble to go get the branch they would be whipped with. I don’t remember one spanking where no crying occurred and there were no “cries of terror”. That was as much ritual as some woman telling her son that you don’t lie in that house and then telling them what the consequences are.
It would be ABUSE if the kid was being treated that way for no reason or was not being told what they did wrong.
Unless you know this kid and all of the emotional problems he has or doesn’t have, how can you stand outside and call this “ritual abuse”? On what terms?[/quote]
It’s recurring to the extent that it’s stated what happens in the beginning of the video. It’s not effective.
Tell me about 19th century dentistry. Surely what was OK for dental patients in 1850 is OK for your patients now.
As I’ve stated several times before, I give parents a wide berth with kids and not likely to judge them. This woman has presented herself to be judged in this context on video with her method.
If you’ve gone to ‘hot sauce and cold showers’ as the “standard” punishment for a 5 year old (or so), you’ve already lost.
[quote]thogue wrote:
I think there’s a big difference psychologically between something being done by will or by necessity vs being forced to as punishment
Getting fillings is uncomfortable, but its a necessity and it’s not going to bother me mentally.
But if my parents forced me to get my teeth drilled because I did something wrong, that would probably fuck me up.
Likewise, taking a cold shower b/c there’s no hot water vs. being forced to is a bit different.
^^^^
Dog trainers out there:
When the dog keeps shitting on the carpet, do you keep beating it?
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Dog trainers out there:
When the dog keeps shitting on the carpet, do you keep beating it?[/quote]
Somebody call?
Another scary thing about the punishment was the fact he couldn’t escape or participate in it. It was relentless, calculated and inevitable. There was nothing he could do to gain absolution or forgiveness. The mom was going to say her speech, give him the sauce, speechify again and throw him in the shower, no matter how recalcitrant he was. I felt hopeless watching it regardless of the fact that like other’s have said I’ve experienced hot sauce and cold showers too.
Fact is the worst part is the kid was a passenger in his own life with no influence over the consequences. When I was a kid my parents asked why, they listened, then they decided on punishment.
[quote]DJHT wrote:
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Dog trainers out there:
When the dog keeps shitting on the carpet, do you keep beating it?[/quote]
Somebody call?[/quote]
Aw, man! Brother did his time 
Besides, you dunk that bitch if it loses.