Worst Parenting... Ever

Off Topic
141

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:
Doing anything to a child to such an extent that he or she cries and screams that much,and it obviously terrified, and doing it on a regular basis is not disciplining. All you are doing is traumatising them.[/quote]

This is really the difference.

Look, I got my ass smacked, belted, and soaped-in-the-mouth. I remember my mom’s wooden spoon up close and personal. When I deserved it (often), I got smacked-- hard and swiftly-- and I cried and screamed and threatened to call DHS in my fit.

I knew exactly what I did when I did it. My corporal punishment fit what I did.

To be honest, if I gave a kid hot sauce as a prank and got in trouble, my parents would have probably made me eat the hot sauce. Fitting.

Some of you aren’t distinguishing between swift, effective punishment and borderline sadism.

Let me guess, sitting a kid down and calling them stupid and worthless to the point of tears as punishment every day of their life is OK, because they’re only words, right? I mean, any normal 6 year old would just brush that off, right?

Some of you are saying " I wouldn’t do that, but it’s still OK ". There’s something to that. Of course you wouldn’t do that— BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. I wouldn’t treat a dog that way.

I usually refrain from judging parents because parenting is THE hardest thing in the world and you have to do what you have to do. But, just because your parents did it, doesn’t always make it right.

Everybody who is condoning this or scoffing at the notion that this woman is just a normal parent using the 'ol hotsauce and cold shower haven’t offered anything that resembles where the boundary is? Boiling hot sauce in the mouth? Certainly that must be OK if the kid did something a little worse than just a ‘hot sauce’ offense? Cigarette to the hand? Hot iron? We all know someone who got the cigarette to the skin growing up, so it’s OK right?

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Bodyguard, SteelyD and adamc are speaking the truth in this thread. IMO, others should read their responses carefully.

143

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
I just searched the internet to try to find some more information about this lunatic. Everywhere, there is outrage for this woman. I can find no appreciable “support” for her like there is here. The entire audience was in tears and I’m pretty sure Dr. Phil (I know, who cares about Dr. Phil) and a guest lawyer concluded it was abuse. This is not even a close call. If you can’t see that, too bad for you.

Last thought. Mormons are bat shit crazy. Tell me you guys (mormons) don’t seriously believe that shit. God spoke to Joseph Smith? Magic underwear? [/quote]

I believe it. Not the magic underwear part, but the God speaking to Joseph Smith part.

(disclaimer: I do wear the garments, and for a purpose, but not that they’re magical, just that they’re symbolic and a constant reminder)

edit: I also haven’t watched this movie, but I did read the description. This woman is a Stake Primary President, which means she helps to direct the activities and classes of all the children in a dozen or so congregations locally. If this is truly despicable, I hope she’s at least put on some sort of church discipline because this has the potential of carrying over to her assignments and responsibilities- which would be awful.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]165StateChamp wrote:
I do not see a problem here. When I was younger, my mother and father would use a belt on me if I misbehaved. My mother has poured hot sauce down my throat and nose. I lived with my grandfather from age 8 to 10 and he would hit me with a stick if I did something wrong. I’ve turned out fine. I’d say my behavior got worse once that type of punishment stopped being used on me, but I’m still a successful individual primarily because of the discipline my parents instilled in me. To say that type of behavior will ‘screw a child up in the future’ is ignorant; it depends on the child’s internal makeup. Some people can take that type of punishment, others can’t.

When I have children, I don’t think I’ll discipline them like that. It doesn’t mesh with the way I interact with people. I do see a lot of merit in it though. [/quote]

I agree completely. From many of the responses here, I guess my parents should have put in jail. Instead, they raised the only black doctor from the entire neighborhood I grew up in.[/quote]

You mean dentist. ;)[/quote]

No, I mean what I wrote.[/quote]

If someone has a heart attack, I’d still call 911. LOL, couldn’t resist

145

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]165StateChamp wrote:
I do not see a problem here. When I was younger, my mother and father would use a belt on me if I misbehaved. My mother has poured hot sauce down my throat and nose. I lived with my grandfather from age 8 to 10 and he would hit me with a stick if I did something wrong. I’ve turned out fine. I’d say my behavior got worse once that type of punishment stopped being used on me, but I’m still a successful individual primarily because of the discipline my parents instilled in me. To say that type of behavior will ‘screw a child up in the future’ is ignorant; it depends on the child’s internal makeup. Some people can take that type of punishment, others can’t.

When I have children, I don’t think I’ll discipline them like that. It doesn’t mesh with the way I interact with people. I do see a lot of merit in it though. [/quote]

I agree completely. From many of the responses here, I guess my parents should have put in jail. Instead, they raised the only black doctor from the entire neighborhood I grew up in.[/quote]

You mean dentist. ;)[/quote]

No, I mean what I wrote.[/quote]

If someone has a heart attack, I’d still call 911. LOL, couldn’t resist[/quote]

If you have a heart attack in your GP’s office, HE is going to call 911…unless he works at a hospital in which case he will call downstairs.

146

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:
There is a huge difference between disciplining/punishing your child, and harming your child.

When I as a kid I got my fair share of smacks (all deserved) and feel that it did me no harm and in fact taught me a lesson. Never did my parents cause me any harm by the punishments I received.

When my daughter is naughty she gets a swift smack. She cries, says sorry, and doesn’t do it again. I have never once harmed my daughter when disciplining her.

This is way over the top. She isn’t causing physical harm but listen to the poor kid scream. He was terrified. Any parent who terrifies their kid is no parent at all.[/quote]

…and all some of us are saying is that you have a whole generation that was raised on getting beat with a stick from a tree that I am sure, had there been youtube, would have gotten several thousands of parents on national tv.

But alas, there was no youtube and I can’t even count the number of stories I’ve heard in my life time of switches, extension cords, belts and broomsticks being used as discipline.

That doesn’t mean I agree with hotsauce either and if I do have kids, they will probably be bad as hell due to me not wanting to touch them in anger.

To me, poor parenting is NOT telling your kid what they did wrong yet beating them anyway. That is true child abuse.

Leaving lasting wounds on your kid is child abuse.

This is over the top, but if this counts as child abuse, we better go load up a few thousand squad cars with the parents of Generation X.[/quote]

I agree with what you said mostly. My dad was born in a small village in Cyprus in the 50’s and back then he got hit with all manner of things but he was, by his own admission, a little shit and deserved most of it.

I agree with you about the beating your kid and not explaining why, and leaving marks on your kids.

I don’t agree with you about this not being child abuse though. Doing anything to a child to such an extent that he or she cries and screams that much,and it obviously terrified, and doing it on a regular basis is not disciplining. All you are doing is traumatising them.[/quote]

Ok…but how many kids getting spanked or getting soap in the mouth do so with no screaming?

If you are against physical punishment, you have to be against ALL of it. Not just the stuff caught on video.

My guess is also that if cameras were around in the houses of 98% of us growing up that there would be at least one or two instances that if publicly viewed would cause your parents to get hate mail.

I have never seen a kid get spanked who didn’t scream in “terror”…unless it didn’t hurt at all.

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^ X not to derail thread, but are dentists being reguired to carry AED’s in their offices? Just curious, I work in an occupational setting now, which is a human resources department for pre-employment physicals. We are required by OSHA to have an AED on site. I mean if you have a MI in here it’s immediate disqualification for a job right? :slight_smile: Anyway just wondering.

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I find it odd alot of you see soap in the mouth as an acceptable punishment. How is a cold shower worst than that? I’ve read posts saying that there is a difference between voluntarily taking a cold shower and being forced to take one as punishment. Well then who voluntarily puts soap in their mouth?

I’ve been beaten as a child with everything from extension cords to belts and a soggy 2 by 4 used for drying clothes but I was never forced to ingest anything. Especially something that was a nonfood product. That sounds just as sadistic to me as the hot sauce.

I ended up as a bad kid anyway (but the smartest kid in class all through grammar school) and got into trouble regardless of being disciplined, so I’m still not sure where I stand on the whole smacking your kids thing. I don’t have kids so I don’t have to worry about it now. But there’s no way I’d force a product used for washing things in their mouth.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:
There is a huge difference between disciplining/punishing your child, and harming your child.

When I as a kid I got my fair share of smacks (all deserved) and feel that it did me no harm and in fact taught me a lesson. Never did my parents cause me any harm by the punishments I received.

When my daughter is naughty she gets a swift smack. She cries, says sorry, and doesn’t do it again. I have never once harmed my daughter when disciplining her.

This is way over the top. She isn’t causing physical harm but listen to the poor kid scream. He was terrified. Any parent who terrifies their kid is no parent at all.[/quote]

…and all some of us are saying is that you have a whole generation that was raised on getting beat with a stick from a tree that I am sure, had there been youtube, would have gotten several thousands of parents on national tv.

But alas, there was no youtube and I can’t even count the number of stories I’ve heard in my life time of switches, extension cords, belts and broomsticks being used as discipline.

That doesn’t mean I agree with hotsauce either and if I do have kids, they will probably be bad as hell due to me not wanting to touch them in anger.

To me, poor parenting is NOT telling your kid what they did wrong yet beating them anyway. That is true child abuse.

Leaving lasting wounds on your kid is child abuse.

This is over the top, but if this counts as child abuse, we better go load up a few thousand squad cars with the parents of Generation X.[/quote]

Yeah, I remember extension cords X. Remember them well. I had a childhood friend that was taken away from his mother because she used to beat him with extension cords. Never saw him again.

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[quote]sam_sneed wrote:
I find it odd alot of you see soap in the mouth as an acceptable punishment. How is a cold shower worst than that? I’ve read posts saying that there is a difference between voluntarily taking a cold shower and being forced to take one as punishment. Well then who voluntarily puts soap in their mouth? [/quote]

You really don’t see the difference between soap in mouth for, say, potty mouth and continual use of burning with hotsauce for whatever offense?

And when folks are saying (at least me) ‘soap in the mouth’ it’s implied for ‘potty mouth’- not soap for everything under the sun, and not industrial soaps, obviously, so don’t read anything into it. I haven’t and won’t use soap in the mouth with my kids and I don’t even think it’s effective, but it’s common and it doesn’t rise to the level of continual hot sauce and cold showers as punishment.

For those of you who have never raised kids, you can use a goddammed teddy bear with a mean voice continually to the point of abuse, let alone shit that would work in the military. That’s obviously hyperbole, but that’s the point.

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[quote]byukid wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
I just searched the internet to try to find some more information about this lunatic. Everywhere, there is outrage for this woman. I can find no appreciable “support” for her like there is here. The entire audience was in tears and I’m pretty sure Dr. Phil (I know, who cares about Dr. Phil) and a guest lawyer concluded it was abuse. This is not even a close call. If you can’t see that, too bad for you.

Last thought. Mormons are bat shit crazy. Tell me you guys (mormons) don’t seriously believe that shit. God spoke to Joseph Smith? Magic underwear? [/quote]

I believe it. Not the magic underwear part, but the God speaking to Joseph Smith part.

(disclaimer: I do wear the garments, and for a purpose, but not that they’re magical, just that they’re symbolic and a constant reminder)

edit: I also haven’t watched this movie, but I did read the description. This woman is a Stake Primary President, which means she helps to direct the activities and classes of all the children in a dozen or so congregations locally. If this is truly despicable, I hope she’s at least put on some sort of church discipline because this has the potential of carrying over to her assignments and responsibilities- which would be awful.[/quote]

I had a reply, but I’m keeping it to myself. You can believe in the flying spaghetti monster for all I care. Because I don’t.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:
There is a huge difference between disciplining/punishing your child, and harming your child.

When I as a kid I got my fair share of smacks (all deserved) and feel that it did me no harm and in fact taught me a lesson. Never did my parents cause me any harm by the punishments I received.

When my daughter is naughty she gets a swift smack. She cries, says sorry, and doesn’t do it again. I have never once harmed my daughter when disciplining her.

This is way over the top. She isn’t causing physical harm but listen to the poor kid scream. He was terrified. Any parent who terrifies their kid is no parent at all.[/quote]

…and all some of us are saying is that you have a whole generation that was raised on getting beat with a stick from a tree that I am sure, had there been youtube, would have gotten several thousands of parents on national tv.

But alas, there was no youtube and I can’t even count the number of stories I’ve heard in my life time of switches, extension cords, belts and broomsticks being used as discipline.

That doesn’t mean I agree with hotsauce either and if I do have kids, they will probably be bad as hell due to me not wanting to touch them in anger.

To me, poor parenting is NOT telling your kid what they did wrong yet beating them anyway. That is true child abuse.

Leaving lasting wounds on your kid is child abuse.

This is over the top, but if this counts as child abuse, we better go load up a few thousand squad cars with the parents of Generation X.[/quote]

I agree with what you said mostly. My dad was born in a small village in Cyprus in the 50’s and back then he got hit with all manner of things but he was, by his own admission, a little shit and deserved most of it.

I agree with you about the beating your kid and not explaining why, and leaving marks on your kids.

I don’t agree with you about this not being child abuse though. Doing anything to a child to such an extent that he or she cries and screams that much,and it obviously terrified, and doing it on a regular basis is not disciplining. All you are doing is traumatising them.[/quote]

Ok…but how many kids getting spanked or getting soap in the mouth do so with no screaming?

If you are against physical punishment, you have to be against ALL of it. Not just the stuff caught on video.

My guess is also that if cameras were around in the houses of 98% of us growing up that there would be at least one or two instances that if publicly viewed would cause your parents to get hate mail.

I have never seen a kid get spanked who didn’t scream in “terror”…unless it didn’t hurt at all.[/quote]

I’m not against physical pumishment. I think it has a time and place but should be used sparingly. Overuse renders it meaningless.

What you said about cameras in our houses growing up rings very true :slight_smile: My brother got into trouble once and the police payed a visit to the house. My dad went balistic and my mum had to pull my dad off my brother. Did he have it coming to him? Hell yes. Did my dad overreact? Well, he said he felt pretty guilty after. I think you and I are on the same page in regards to this. A lot of us got our share of physical punishment but I would hope we are smart/wise enough to realise it was deserved.

I think that the pendulum of public opinion has swung too far in the wrong direction and that people can and do overreact to the merest hint of physical punishment.

This however is not one of those times.

Her punishment is excessive, sadistic, and achieves nothing more than terrifying the boy. Of course a child will cry or scream when they are getting told off/spanked. But can’t you hear the terror in his voice? I have never heard my daughter scream like that and I hope I never do. If I heard a child scream like that, I would run towards the noise with the intention of helping them.

All it should take is a slap on the hand or bottom. If a parent has gotten to the point where they are having to think of inventive ways to punish their child, they have taken it too far. A child should understand that a parent will discipline them when they are naughty and that said discipline will not be nice. A child should be wary of incurring their parents anger. A child should never be terrified of their parents. She is falt out bullying him. How would she feel if someone twice her size forced her to take a mouth full of something that burnt/stung, strip down naked and take a cold shower? I’m guessing she would feel humilated and degraded. What right thinking person or parent would want to do that to anyone that can’t defend themselves.

Children need boundries. Sometimes those boundries require physical punishment to enforce them. But it should never be taken to the degree that she took it.

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[quote]DJHT wrote:
^ X not to derail thread, but are dentists being reguired to carry AED’s in their offices? Just curious, I work in an occupational setting now, which is a human resources department for pre-employment physicals. We are required by OSHA to have an AED on site. I mean if you have a MI in here it’s immediate disqualification for a job right? :slight_smile: Anyway just wondering. [/quote]

Yes, we do.

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Some of yall never had a real w"whoopin" from “Big Mama”, I can see. When I was coming up I wouldve gladly takien hot sauce over a whoopin. I would have laughed…oh and my mom making me kneel on rice OWNS hot sauce in the mouth…

You huys are pussies.

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[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]sam_sneed wrote:
I find it odd alot of you see soap in the mouth as an acceptable punishment. How is a cold shower worst than that? I’ve read posts saying that there is a difference between voluntarily taking a cold shower and being forced to take one as punishment. Well then who voluntarily puts soap in their mouth? [/quote]

You really don’t see the difference between soap in mouth for, say, potty mouth and continual use of burning with hotsauce for whatever offense?[/quote]

No. Neither one involve something the child WANTS to do and both will no doubt bring forth “screams of terror”. Therefore, they are either BOTH wrong or BOTH right.

Actually, the point is that you are either FOR forms of punishment like this or against. You can’t be FOR soap in the mouth but against hot sauce in the mouth. They used to use Castor Oil as a punishment but now hot sauce means you lose your kids?

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[quote]spiderman739 wrote:

All it should take is a slap on the hand or bottom. If a parent has gotten to the point where they are having to think of inventive ways to punish their child, they have taken it too far.[/quote]

I would LOVE to see that work on some of these kids in the projects or lower income backgrounds. What if they pull a gun on you for that slap on the wrist?

For those that didn’t know, if you come across too soft with some kids, you run into problems. A slap on the wrist is NOT always enough when it comes to disciplining some bad ass kids…and I hope some of you actually realize this and don’t think all children are little angels.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:

All it should take is a slap on the hand or bottom. If a parent has gotten to the point where they are having to think of inventive ways to punish their child, they have taken it too far.[/quote]

I would LOVE to see that work on some of these kids in the projects or lower income backgrounds. What if they pull a gun on you for that slap on the wrist?

For those that didn’t know, if you come across too soft with some kids, you run into problems. A slap on the wrist is NOT always enough when it comes to disciplining some bad ass kids…and I hope some of you actually realize this and don’t think all children are little angels.[/quote]

If you are talking about kids from housing estates, projects, or rough areas then of course it is a very different kettle of fish. If kids are armed with guns then you have greater issues to deal with than finding the best form of punishment for them. Those kids are more in need of a leg up in society and a way of getting out of the situation they are in before thinking about punishment. My parents came from two of the roughest housing estates in London and they both got punished the “old school way”. Didn’t do them any harm and they both retired at 50, have houses in two countries, and will never have to worry about money for the rest of their lives. Growing up in a harsh environment sometimes requires a different appraoch. My dad got beaten with a coat hanger, table leg, and all manner of things. And it is for that very reason that he never hit me with anything other than his hand. Lack of any sever beatings didn’t have a negative effect on me and I have grown up to be a pretty well adjusted and reasonable successful person.

You are right in that you mustn’t come across as too soft as kids will take advantage in some way or another. But the kid in video is not an inner city gun-toting thug. I still think that the punishment was way in excess of what was needed and, in my opinion, is abuse.

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[quote]SteelyD wrote:

You really don’t see the difference between soap in mouth for, say, potty mouth and continual
use of burning with hotsauce for whatever offense?
[/quote]

Actually, I do see the difference. For example, given the choice between taking a tablespoon of dish soap and a table spoon of hot sauce to the mouth I’d take the hot sauce anytime. Soap is not meant to be eaten. How in the world did that become an acceptable punishment?

I get the whole potty mouth thing, but is it really necessary to literally cleanse their mouth with soap to illustrate the point? I understand its not industrial soap and not poisonous, but at the same time I don’t see people squirting Palmolive on their rice. I honestly don’t see it hot sauce in the mouth as worse then soap in the mouth all other things being equal (ie time the substance is in the mouth and the amount). It’s just that one (soap) for some crazy reason has become acceptable in this country while the other is cruel and unusual.

As far as cold showers go, from what I remember helping raise my my sister and just being a kid, a regular warm shower should be punishment enough. If they chose to go that route of course and would depend on the kid.

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[quote]spiderman739 wrote:

If you are talking about kids from housing estates, projects, or rough areas then of course it is a very different kettle of fish. [/quote]

Bullshit. It is either right ALL OF THE TIME or wrong ALL OF THE TIME. You can’t say it is ok for Anthony in the projects you not ok for Edward in Bellaire. This is why some of us are calling “hypocrite” to some of these responses. I was reprimanded and spanked. I don’t think I turned out wrong at all.

We live in a country where most of you claim the youth of today have issues with being weak yet those same people apparently want kids raised with zero physical discipline.

160

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Actually, the point is that you are either FOR forms of punishment like this or against. You can’t be FOR soap in the mouth but against hot sauce in the mouth. They used to use Castor Oil as a punishment but now hot sauce means you lose your kids?[/quote]

Actually, you CAN be. Again, no one here has offered where the line is. Is a cigarette to the arm OK? Why or why not? Is it that it will leave a mark? Please, this will be my third time asking.

Nobody said anything about taking anyone’s kids-- irrelevent.

How about pepper spray? Is that ok? Why or why not. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

I typed in another post that I can see when and how hot sauce would be effective and even gave an example. I’m not against it absolutely, in total at all. Please go back and re-read.

What you and others don’t seem to be getting is that this woman is obviously using this as a prolonged form of punishment. It’s pretty cut and dry what’s effective with kids and parents usually learn that pretty early on. This ain’t working for the woman.

Castor oil worse than hot pepper sauce? Ridiculous.

The point that some kids (PX’s ghetto kid example) might need to get the shit beat out of them at some point is not lost on me. However, spilled milk? You don’t beat the shit out of a kid. See the difference?

Sneed: Who ever said anything about making a kid SWALLOW soap?