Worst Parenting... Ever

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[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Dog trainers out there:

When the dog keeps shitting on the carpet, do you keep beating it?[/quote]

I did when she was a pup, that and yell.

Also beat her with my belt once when she tore it up. One of the most well behaved dogs there are :wink:
[/quote]

Cool. But she stopped, so it worked. Now, what about if she kept doing it-- you know, like the kid in the vid who keeps getting hot sauce and showers but the mother admits it’s not working. That’s the point.

Never laid a hand on my dogs and they got it. Two of those ‘most well behaved dogs’ you mentioned :wink:

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[quote]Rockscar wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]Rockscar wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

It seems like you have been raised to think little children should be [part of decision making processes. They shouldn’t in my opinion.

If I tell a little kid don’t eat that cookie and they do, it doesn’t fucking matter WHY they ate. They disobeyed an order and that order was made for a reason that a little child may not be able to understand…which is why they have PARENTS.[/quote]

Bingo. I used to ask my kids if they wanted X, Y or Z for dinner…between the 2 of them, they could not ever agree and one if not both were always upset at the outcome and I could never seem to recover. I’ve made this mistake, but it is a particular style that does not work. Parents feel they are making a more well rounded, decisive child if they are consulted about a lot of decisions…they end up being narcissistic in the end moreso than a regular child.

Now, they get what I give them for lunch or dinner. No arguing, and they better appreciate it…like it or not!
[/quote]

Can you point me to the peer reviewed studies supporting your learned conclusions above? Or are we talking about a study of one household? [/quote]

Dude, if you want a peer review for my points, then you must bring them as well for yours. This is MY experience with my kids, as well as many others I have witnessed.

There is NO RIGHT and NO WRONG way to parent proven by science. This is my experience as a father.

What is your hard on about with regard to what I said above?
[/quote]

You made conclusions. I have done no such thing. I have given my opinion.

“I’ve made this mistake, but it is a particular style that does not work. Parents feel they are making a more well rounded, decisive child if they are consulted about a lot of decisions…they end up being narcissistic in the end moreso than a regular child.”

283

[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:
I understand what the parents here are saying. If you don’t have kids, you can predict how you’ll raise your future kid[s] 'til you’re blue in the face, but once you actually have kids those plans might go out the window. You don’t know what’ll happen 'til you get there. It makes sense to me. [/quote]

They do not come with an instruction booklet. And each is different obviously.

284

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

I have one question for you since you’re so damn adamant about this. You got the switch when you grew up.[/quote]

When I grew up? I haven’t been “spanked” or anything else since at least middle school or earlier.

[quote]

You claim it was effective. So you’re representing to us that:

  1. You only got the switch ONE time. ONLY ONE time, because it was effective; and,
  2. You never fucked up as a kid and did something you were forbidden to do.

When you answer the above two questions, you should start to see some of the problems with your arguments.[/quote]

? Since when does a kid only do something bad once? Kids test boundaries. That is what kids do. Whether a “switch” is necessary would depend on the kid. I personally will not be whipping my kids with switches. I’m a very large man. I see no reason why I would need to repeat the actions of my 95lbs mother in a similar situation.

285

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]legendaryblaze wrote:

Says the idiot who tried to convince people that being an artist was “important” to society.
[/quote]

So, idiot… imagine your world without artists.

Who do you think draws your favorite video games? Artists. Who paints the images on greeting cards you buy to express “your” feelings for a loved one? Who created the logos for the sports teams you root for or the bands you listen to? How about the clothes you wear… the cool graphics on T-shirts, the cut and design? Who drafts the designs for the buildings we work and dwell in, or that car you drive?

Damn right. Artists. The list is endless. Important to society?
You tell me, internet tough guy.
[/quote]

ID I think you are speaking to an individual that the only artistic expression is the splatter of man juice on the porn stars face. GO ARTISTS. I got your back man.

286

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I do believe some of it was over the top. However, you also can’t deny the results because most of the people who grew up near me did not turn out so well. [/quote]

Logic fail. You don’t suppose they didn’t turn out so well for other reasons other than not receiving their allotted beatings do you? Or do you suppose your parents took an interest, apart from the beatings, and guided you along, apart from “X, go get me a switch to beat your ass”.

I’m sorry, but I’m finding no causal relationship between you picking out switches to beat your own ass with and your success today and, the failures in the old neighborhood. Not there.
[/quote]

? Their entire parenting approach is why I am doing what I am today along with several other factors that may never be accounted for. this is not and never has been about picking out switches. You are stuck on that because you want to keep missing the point.

You need to do what is necessary to raise your own kids right and maybe, just fucking maybe, it isn’t YOUR place to run around judging everyone else’s parenting strategies to be wrong based on what YOU alone think with limited background info about the situation.

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The dog analogy might be a good one. There exists a wide spectrum of theory and practice by which to train a dog (and other animals) ranging from harsh physical correction to positive reinforcement. Guess what? They all work. What has never been proven however, is what training methodology leads to the better adjusted dog. Frankly, I’ll take the confident secure obedient dog over the fearful obedient dog.

If you have children and you WANT them to fear you, fine. We have no choice but to accept that because you have children, they are yours, you are responsible for them and you’ve earned the right as long as you’re not abusing them.

Personally, I want my children to RESPECT me, not fear me. As a parent, you are already imbued with power and a certain level of fear, because you are the master of their universe until a certain age. I see no reason to increase or trade upon that fear.

If you don’t have children, I really don’t think you have a valid opinion. A well known poster here who shall remain nameless, :slight_smile: LOL, would regularly admonish posters in other forums to STFU because they were too small or untrained to have a valid opinion on a BB subject or thread. It didn’t matter if they poster was well read, learned or such, his opinion did not matter because he had not “lived” the lifestyle of achieved a certain size.

In his words, he didn’t care how smart the 195lb trainer was, he was going to listen to the 265lb guy, because he got there and had experience. I always thought that mindset was a bit harsh, even though I understood it.

Well, maybe he’s right.

EDIT:

What IS known is that harsh physical correction will easily ruin a sensitive or lesser dog.

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[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

No one is saying don’t explain ANYTHING to a kid. However, it IS your responsibility to make sure a young child does listen to you simply because you said it and not because they received some drawn out explanation in all circumstances that satisfies them.
[/quote]

Coming from the guys with no kids. Ever stop to wonder that we want even a young child to understand as much as possible bc as a rule kids will test limits, explore and NOT LISTEN? I want my kid to understand ASAP that wandering into the road can get him killed. Because guess what, 6 year olds have a way of forgetting stuff, being absent minded and …oh well, JUST BEING KIDS.

I have one question for you since you’re so damn adamant about this. You got the switch when you grew up. You claim it was effective. So you’re representing to us that:

  1. You only got the switch ONE time. ONLY ONE time, because it was effective; and,
  2. You never fucked up as a kid and did something you were forbidden to do.

When you answer the above two questions, you should start to see some of the problems with your arguments.[/quote]

I agree with kids forgetting shit. I think also one of the things thats been bothering me about this thread is this. I was raised to question, not to take everything for granted. It seems to me that a fair amount of explanation will be needed if this is how you want to raise your kids. And personally I would rather my kids question whether the authority is right or wrong than mindlessly following the herd. I am willing to bet that whether they remember it or not, most kids who grew up with some physical discipline, did so because they disobeyed after something was already explained to them

ad. I dont have kids. Just thought I should throw them in there.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

I have one question for you since you’re so damn adamant about this. You got the switch when you grew up.[/quote]

When I grew up? I haven’t been “spanked” or anything else since at least middle school or earlier.

[quote]

You claim it was effective. So you’re representing to us that:

  1. You only got the switch ONE time. ONLY ONE time, because it was effective; and,
  2. You never fucked up as a kid and did something you were forbidden to do.

When you answer the above two questions, you should start to see some of the problems with your arguments.[/quote]

? Since when does a kid only do something bad once? Kids test boundaries. That is what kids do. Whether a “switch” is necessary would depend on the kid. I personally will not be whipping my kids with switches. I’m a very large man. I see no reason why I would need to repeat the actions of my 95lbs mother in a similar situation.[/quote]

Very nice end around. Do you do this every time you’re cornered.

As a child, you got the switch or a beating right? That’s what you been saying. Did you get it more than once? If you got it more than once, how effective was it? I mean, there might be a MCBURGLER in your house and, you might have to hide in your closet for the safety of your family and the BURGERS.

You just said kids test boundaries. Bravo. THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOUR THEORY ABOUT OBEYING WITHOUT QUESTION FAILS. None of us arguing against you here advocate a child not listening to instructions, but we EXPLAIN as much as possible so they learn ASAP because KIDS DO NOT LISTEN BY NATURE. hell, most of us, myself included, are not even arguing against corporal punishment. I never spanked my older boys, ever. I have swatted my 4 year old on the ass more than a few times now - but only swiftly, to get his damn attention when he’s losing his fucking mind as 4 year olds are want to do.

I recall very few people here saying NEVER. But I think we can all agree NEVER to what we witnessed in the video. You can’t cherry pick something to rationalize it. You have to take this video in its entirety. Her demeanor, the yelling, then the hot sauce, the continued berating and then the cold shower and the fact that this is a ritual that she has performed before. You can’t cherry pick and say, oh well, hot sauce is no big deal. That’s not the point, and you’re damn well intelligent enough to know it…

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[quote]SILVERDAN7 wrote:
And personally I would rather my kids question whether the authority is right or wrong than mindlessly following the herd. I am willing to bet that whether they remember it or not, most kids who grew up with some physical discipline, did so because they disobeyed after something was already explained to them[/quote]

Like was written before, this may be the biggest reason the military is finding it so hard to find decent soldiers. Kids are now being raised to question all authority. I personally would not raise my kids that way. I will explain things, but sometimes they will have to simply listen to what they are told because their life could very well depend on it. It sounds like some of you were raised in very “safe” environments where outside risk was of little concern.

An 8 year old does not know about the crack house down the street or several other risks that may be beyond their comprehension. They need to understand not to talk to strangers. They don’t need to know why that specific person should be avoided in all circumstances because what is most important is that they listen. You can explain all you want to later, but in the moment, very often the last thing you need is some little child questioning your authority (especially in public) because you actually raised them that way.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I do believe some of it was over the top. However, you also can’t deny the results because most of the people who grew up near me did not turn out so well. [/quote]

Logic fail. You don’t suppose they didn’t turn out so well for other reasons other than not receiving their allotted beatings do you? Or do you suppose your parents took an interest, apart from the beatings, and guided you along, apart from “X, go get me a switch to beat your ass”.

I’m sorry, but I’m finding no causal relationship between you picking out switches to beat your own ass with and your success today and, the failures in the old neighborhood. Not there.
[/quote]

? Their entire parenting approach is why I am doing what I am today along with several other factors that may never be accounted for. this is not and never has been about picking out switches. You are stuck on that because you want to keep missing the point.

You need to do what is necessary to raise your own kids right and maybe, just fucking maybe, it isn’t YOUR place to run around judging everyone else’s parenting strategies to be wrong based on what YOU alone think with limited background info about the situation.
[/quote]

I think YOU missed the point. We said the same thing. There are other reasons why you turned out okay…but in your prior post, you implied a relationship between the punishment you received, your success, and the failure of your peers. That’s your post.

It is MY right to judge her parenting style. SHE put herself in the public eye for the express purpose of being judged. Or did you miss that little detail? And “judging” by the reactions of the audience and the rest of the interwebz, you sir are the minority dissent.

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[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:
I understand what the parents here are saying. If you don’t have kids, you can predict how you’ll raise your future kid[s] 'til you’re blue in the face, but once you actually have kids those plans might go out the window. You don’t know what’ll happen 'til you get there. It makes sense to me. [/quote]

They do not come with an instruction booklet. And each is different obviously.[/quote]

My folks always told me “when you have kids, you’ll understand”. And I’m sure once I do, I will.

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[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
The dog analogy might be a good one. There exists a wide spectrum of theory and practice by which to train a dog (and other animals) ranging from harsh physical correction to positive reinforcement. Guess what? They all work. What has never been proven however, is what training methodology leads to the better adjusted dog. Frankly, I’ll take the confident secure obedient dog over the fearful obedient dog.

If you have children and you WANT them to fear you, fine. We have no choice but to accept that because you have children, they are yours, you are responsible for them and you’ve earned the right as long as you’re not abusing them.

Personally, I want my children to RESPECT me, not fear me. As a parent, you are already imbued with power and a certain level of fear, because you are the master of their universe until a certain age. I see no reason to increase or trade upon that fear.

If you don’t have children, I really don’t think you have a valid opinion. A well known poster here who shall remain nameless, :slight_smile: LOL, would regularly admonish posters in other forums to STFU because they were too small or untrained to have a valid opinion on a BB subject or thread. It didn’t matter if they poster was well read, learned or such, his opinion did not matter because he had not “lived” the lifestyle of achieved a certain size.

In his words, he didn’t care how smart the 195lb trainer was, he was going to listen to the 265lb guy, because he got there and had experience. I always thought that mindset was a bit harsh, even though I understood it.

Well, maybe he’s right. [/quote]

I agree that your opinion may be more valid due to your experience. However, there are many different ways to learn about discipline in regards to children of all ages. Granted, there are major differences between being a parent and being one of the various types of caretakers our society has created to give more free time to the real parent, but both of them have valuable lessons to teach about communication, education and discilpine.

Also, while much of strength training and BB training in particular has grown from empirical evidence and is only starting to grow in terms of clinical research, much thought and observation has gone into the study of human interaction and development. Because of this, I would argue that research only woud make you more knowledgable of parenting and child dev. than it would of BB. Meaning, if youve never lifted a weight ore dealt with a kid, reading a BOOK on both would teach you more about the latter than it would with the former.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]SILVERDAN7 wrote:
And personally I would rather my kids question whether the authority is right or wrong than mindlessly following the herd. I am willing to bet that whether they remember it or not, most kids who grew up with some physical discipline, did so because they disobeyed after something was already explained to them[/quote]

Like was written before, this may be the biggest reason the military is finding it so hard to find decent soldiers. Kids are now being raised to question all authority. I personally would not raise my kids that way. I will explain things, but sometimes they will have to simply listen to what they are told because their life could very well depend on it. It sounds like some of you were raised in very “safe” environments where outside risk was of little concern.

An 8 year old does not know about the crack house down the street or several other risks that may be beyond their comprehension. They need to understand not to talk to strangers. They don’t need to know why that specific person should be avoided in all circumstances because what is most important is that they listen. You can explain all you want to later, but in the moment, very often the last thing you need is some little child questioning your authority (especially in public) because you actually raised them that way.[/quote]

Nothing you said above is unreasonable and no one has argued against it. And stop pretending you’re the only one that came up hard and everyone else lived in a bubble. I grew up a young kid playing ball protected by gangsters, drug dealers and a pimp - all of whom would parade to my high school basketball games to cheer me on.

You have a terrible habit of arguing a point to absurdity, to the point it no longer resembles the persons original point. I do not explain to my 5 year old why he should stay out of the road when he is about to go in the road! And no one else here does either. However, you keep stretching it to imply that given your posts. But I’ll damn sure explain it to him after, because he’s 5, and I want him to avoid the road WHEN I’M NOT AROUND.

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[quote]SILVERDAN7 wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
The dog analogy might be a good one. There exists a wide spectrum of theory and practice by which to train a dog (and other animals) ranging from harsh physical correction to positive reinforcement. Guess what? They all work. What has never been proven however, is what training methodology leads to the better adjusted dog. Frankly, I’ll take the confident secure obedient dog over the fearful obedient dog.

If you have children and you WANT them to fear you, fine. We have no choice but to accept that because you have children, they are yours, you are responsible for them and you’ve earned the right as long as you’re not abusing them.

Personally, I want my children to RESPECT me, not fear me. As a parent, you are already imbued with power and a certain level of fear, because you are the master of their universe until a certain age. I see no reason to increase or trade upon that fear.

If you don’t have children, I really don’t think you have a valid opinion. A well known poster here who shall remain nameless, :slight_smile: LOL, would regularly admonish posters in other forums to STFU because they were too small or untrained to have a valid opinion on a BB subject or thread. It didn’t matter if they poster was well read, learned or such, his opinion did not matter because he had not “lived” the lifestyle of achieved a certain size.

In his words, he didn’t care how smart the 195lb trainer was, he was going to listen to the 265lb guy, because he got there and had experience. I always thought that mindset was a bit harsh, even though I understood it.

Well, maybe he’s right. [/quote]

I agree that your opinion may be more valid due to your experience. However, there are many different ways to learn about discipline in regards to children of all ages. Granted, there are major differences between being a parent and being one of the various types of caretakers our society has created to give more free time to the real parent, but both of them have valuable lessons to teach about communication, education and discilpine.

Also, while much of strength training and BB training in particular has grown from empirical evidence and is only starting to grow in terms of clinical research, much thought and observation has gone into the study of human interaction and development. Because of this, I would argue that research only woud make you more knowledgable of parenting and child dev. than it would of BB. Meaning, if youve never lifted a weight ore dealt with a kid, reading a BOOK on both would teach you more about the latter than it would with the former.[/quote]

My post was not intended to be taken literally as you have. You have to know the players here a bit better to understand it. Now go eat or have children. I don’t care which but your opinion doesn’t matter :slight_smile:

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]SILVERDAN7 wrote:
And personally I would rather my kids question whether the authority is right or wrong than mindlessly following the herd. I am willing to bet that whether they remember it or not, most kids who grew up with some physical discipline, did so because they disobeyed after something was already explained to them[/quote]

Like was written before, this may be the biggest reason the military is finding it so hard to find decent soldiers. Kids are now being raised to question all authority. I personally would not raise my kids that way. I will explain things, but sometimes they will have to simply listen to what they are told because their life could very well depend on it. It sounds like some of you were raised in very “safe” environments where outside risk was of little concern.

An 8 year old does not know about the crack house down the street or several other risks that may be beyond their comprehension. They need to understand not to talk to strangers. They don’t need to know why that specific person should be avoided in all circumstances because what is most important is that they listen. You can explain all you want to later, but in the moment, very often the last thing you need is some little child questioning your authority (especially in public) because you actually raised them that way.[/quote]

Because lord knows signing on to fight somebody elses battle because you have no bRAin in your head and no other option in life is just what every parent should want for their child. the ones doing the fighting are the same ignorant saps whose parent s probably whopped them when they messed up, because, quite frankly, thats alot LESS WORK than keeping your cool and explaining it to the kid. Its like saying every god fearing redneck in Alabama should disown his son when he decides not to join the local KKK chapter, right?

297

[quote]Professor X wrote:
An 8 year old does not know about the crack house down the street or several other risks that may be beyond their comprehension. They need to understand not to talk to strangers. They don’t need to know why that specific person should be avoided in all circumstances because what is most important is that they listen. You can explain all you want to later, but in the moment, very often the last thing you need is some little child questioning your authority (especially in public) because you actually raised them that way.[/quote]

I understand what you’re trying to convey here, but 8 year olds DO understand about the crack house down the road and the sex offenders in the neighborhood. This was my point about not giving kids enough credit to understand and why I think actually having kids (or being around them like teachers, etc) means much more than ‘theory’.

My kids are single digit and they KNOW EXACTLY why they can’t ride their bikes past one street and why they NEVER talk to people in house A and B (literally one a drug house, sex offender, and a creep in these places). I’ll concede that they can’t comprehend the full extent of ‘sex abuse’, but they get that those people a dangerous to them.

NOTE: That DOESN’T mean that I NEEDED to explain that to them before they would listen to me or do what they’re told.

It’s so naive to think that ‘why?’ isn’t going to be asked THOUSANDS of times when you ask (or demand) that your kids do something. There is no losing of face, loss of respect, or loss of authority by answering them. That’s ridiculous.

On a similar note, pick a name (Dad, Pop, Papa, Paw, etc) that you don’t mind hearing over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over…

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]SILVERDAN7 wrote:
And personally I would rather my kids question whether the authority is right or wrong than mindlessly following the herd. I am willing to bet that whether they remember it or not, most kids who grew up with some physical discipline, did so because they disobeyed after something was already explained to them[/quote]

Like was written before, this may be the biggest reason the military is finding it so hard to find decent soldiers. Kids are now being raised to question all authority. I personally would not raise my kids that way. I will explain things, but sometimes they will have to simply listen to what they are told because their life could very well depend on it. It sounds like some of you were raised in very “safe” environments where outside risk was of little concern.

An 8 year old does not know about the crack house down the street or several other risks that may be beyond their comprehension. They need to understand not to talk to strangers. They don’t need to know why that specific person should be avoided in all circumstances because what is most important is that they listen. You can explain all you want to later, but in the moment, very often the last thing you need is some little child questioning your authority (especially in public) because you actually raised them that way.[/quote]

dont like reposting but I didnt read the second paragraph. I fail to underastand why saying “dont do that” and explaining later is not still an explanation. This is how kids learn, and if things are properly explained and consistent they will learn to trust you as a strong authority figure. If you do things inconsistently and erratically they will realize that as well and eventually stop listening. It is this authority that I was taught to question. The one which does not explain, because, if you do not question what you are told, how do you know if it truly is in your best interest. I think kids learn very quick (too early for any of us to remember) wether their parents are worth trusting and we go from there. You listen to your parents on the spot with no explanation BECAUSE they have proven themselves to be trustworthy in terms of what they tell you.

And I would stay away from creating a persons background in your head from a couple of paragraphs. Because we could infer alot from what you write as well.

299

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]Rockscar wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]Rockscar wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

It seems like you have been raised to think little children should be [part of decision making processes. They shouldn’t in my opinion.

If I tell a little kid don’t eat that cookie and they do, it doesn’t fucking matter WHY they ate. They disobeyed an order and that order was made for a reason that a little child may not be able to understand…which is why they have PARENTS.[/quote]

Bingo. I used to ask my kids if they wanted X, Y or Z for dinner…between the 2 of them, they could not ever agree and one if not both were always upset at the outcome and I could never seem to recover. I’ve made this mistake, but it is a particular style that does not work. Parents feel they are making a more well rounded, decisive child if they are consulted about a lot of decisions…they end up being narcissistic in the end moreso than a regular child.

Now, they get what I give them for lunch or dinner. No arguing, and they better appreciate it…like it or not!
[/quote]

Can you point me to the peer reviewed studies supporting your learned conclusions above? Or are we talking about a study of one household? [/quote]

Dude, if you want a peer review for my points, then you must bring them as well for yours. This is MY experience with my kids, as well as many others I have witnessed.

There is NO RIGHT and NO WRONG way to parent proven by science. This is my experience as a father.

What is your hard on about with regard to what I said above?
[/quote]

You made conclusions. I have done no such thing. I have given my opinion.

“I’ve made this mistake, but it is a particular style that does not work. Parents feel they are making a more well rounded, decisive child if they are consulted about a lot of decisions…they end up being narcissistic in the end moreso than a regular child.” [/quote]

Right…I guess my conclusion is a hypothesis to you, but in my house, the more rope you give, the more a kid will hang themselves by making bad choices. If you are not an authority figure (Hands off) then the kids will run rampant. It’s a parents job to make sure they guided, and not left to their own devices.

What’s the problem in that?

300

Here’s an exampek SteelyD of my amazing parenting. Sort of. Or maybe I just make sense now and then. We’re in Walmart. My twin were almost four. My daughter wanted a book which I paid for , but we continued to shop. She kept doing this stop, drop on her knees and refuse to follow me.

I told her one more time and I’m putting her book back on the shelf and we’re leaving. she did and i did. the book cost 2$. I carried her kicking and screaming out of the store under my arm. I was sure getting the looks probably 50/50 in good some parent is handling their kid to he better not abuse that little girl.

But I didn’t care. I first told my son , “you’re not in trouble but one wrong word buddy and you’re done!”

Then I told the kids if either ( we were in the car by then) pulled some crap like that they would never go anywhere, do anything , or get any presents when they were with me. Idle threat, but to a kid who was a month shy of their 4th birthday and who just saw you follow through it seemed serious.

And this never happened again. Stop the behavior now. Remove the child from the area. When things are calm, explain that straying away from dad can be dangerous. Kids see you follow through and know these things from an early age.

My daughter let it slip once how she knew I was serious. She was six. I don’t care how you stop the behavior within reason. Leave the movie or restaurant. Maybe a swat on the behind. A timeout. whatever worked without torturing the kid or tearing the kid down. And I don’t mean raising your voice is tearing a kid down, I mean nasty name calling and such.

And be consistent with rules. I also believe it’s important to make the kids do tasks to get them used to orders. I’d have my kids do simple chores so they !. contribute to the house, 2. get used to doing something and listening to me.