Worst Parenting... Ever

Off Topic
221

man… that was harsh. I was punished as a kid but I don’t remember it being prolonged.

My parents were very strict. I grew up in a military household and I called my parents “sir” and Maam" until I was about 14yrs old.

BUT… sure… I did get a spanking but my parents did it quick and few spanks. As an adult they told me they tried to make it loud so the noise would scare me more than the spank. and for the DOG TRAINERS they used a soda can with coins in it. The open end taped closed. And they would throw it at me or my brother when we were doing or going where we should not be. The noise would scare us and we would stop. Yes… they learned this from training dogs. BUT it was a non harmful way or teaching. I was spanked but not so that I was brutalized and unable to move. BUT my dad was a DI in the Marine Corps. That man would make us dig holes in the yard. deeeeeeep holes… then fill them back up. Hours and hours in the sun. Or we would have to run sprints until we puked. Now… I hated it, but… it was a good way to punish us. It burned up our energy with no focus and when we were depleted our parents would explain. It worked.

I was spanked, I dug holes,… I ran sprints, but I learned.

222

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
man… that was harsh. I was punished as a kid but I don’t remember it being prolonged.

My parents were very strict. I grew up in a military household and I called my parents “sir” and Maam" until I was about 14yrs old.

BUT… sure… I did get a spanking but my parents did it quick and few spanks. As an adult they told me they tried to make it loud so the noise would scare me more than the spank. and for the DOG TRAINERS they used a soda can with coins in it. The open end taped closed. And they would throw it at me or my brother when we were doing or going where we should not be. The noise would scare us and we would stop. Yes… they learned this from training dogs. BUT it was a non harmful way or teaching. I was spanked but not so that I was brutalized and unable to move. BUT my dad was a DI in the Marine Corps. That man would make us dig holes in the yard. deeeeeeep holes… then fill them back up. Hours and hours in the sun. Or we would have to run sprints until we puked. Now… I hated it, but… it was a good way to punish us. It burned up our energy with no focus and when we were depleted our parents would explain. It worked.

I was spanked, I dug holes,… I ran sprints, but I learned.[/quote]

It’s a good thing y’all learned, 'cause the last thing anyone wants is a strong and fast disobedient kid.

223

What’d Dr. Phil tell her?

224

[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
man… that was harsh. I was punished as a kid but I don’t remember it being prolonged.

My parents were very strict. I grew up in a military household and I called my parents “sir” and Maam" until I was about 14yrs old.

BUT… sure… I did get a spanking but my parents did it quick and few spanks. As an adult they told me they tried to make it loud so the noise would scare me more than the spank. and for the DOG TRAINERS they used a soda can with coins in it. The open end taped closed. And they would throw it at me or my brother when we were doing or going where we should not be. The noise would scare us and we would stop. Yes… they learned this from training dogs. BUT it was a non harmful way or teaching. I was spanked but not so that I was brutalized and unable to move. BUT my dad was a DI in the Marine Corps. That man would make us dig holes in the yard. deeeeeeep holes… then fill them back up. Hours and hours in the sun. Or we would have to run sprints until we puked. Now… I hated it, but… it was a good way to punish us. It burned up our energy with no focus and when we were depleted our parents would explain. It worked.

I was spanked, I dug holes,… I ran sprints, but I learned.[/quote]

It’s a good thing y’all learned, 'cause the last thing anyone wants is a strong and fast disobedient kid.[/quote]

Who is good at digging deep holes.

225

From Dr. Phil’s website:

“It’s just frustration,” Jessica blurts out. “I don’t know what to do with him. I really, truly don’t, and that’s why I wrote you. That’s why I am willing to sit up here, and have an audience look at me and judge me, because I need help for this child.”

So, in the event that some of you want to continue to harp on about what a monster she is, keep in mind that she’s stated that she has tried everything else she can think of and is truly at her wits’ end when it comes to getting through to this kid.

She is also the one who sent Dr. Phil the video tape.

226

[quote]Spartiates wrote:
What’d Dr. Phil tell her?[/quote]

I think I read he is going to give her and the kid counseling as well as medical exams to figure out if the kid has some sort of disorder.

Honestly, people who think this is a big deal would get a kick out of watching some of the assholes Steve Wilkos interviews.

227

[quote]Spartiates wrote:
What’d Dr. Phil tell her?[/quote]

The audience reacted in a hostile fashion, with one person calling Jessica “evil”. In response, Dr. Phil said, "I donâ??t believe youâ??re an evil person. I think you are misguided. I think you think youâ??re doing the only thing you know how to do, but that is totally unacceptable.â??

228

[quote]anonym wrote:
From Dr. Phil’s website:

“It’s just frustration,” Jessica blurts out. “I don’t know what to do with him. I really, truly don’t, and that’s why I wrote you. That’s why I am willing to sit up here, and have an audience look at me and judge me, because I need help for this child.”

So, in the event that some of you want to continue to harp on about what a monster she is, keep in mind that she’s stated that she has tried everything else she can think of and is truly at her wits’ end when it comes to getting through to this kid.

She is also the one who sent Dr. Phil the video tape.[/quote]

This is also the point some folks are making.

SHE KNOWS these things don’t work. She’s escalated from whatever to soap to hot sauce (her words) trying everything (what’s next?). The ridiculous showers and hot sauce are NOT her new, creative (as some of you think) punishments, they’re last ditch, ineffective attempts to try to control a child by a woman apparently at her wits end.

Is the child out of control? Maybe he’s a little shithead. Don’t know.

She’s saying these methods are ineffective yet many keep defending ‘teh hott sawssez’. She purposely taped this willing to be “judged”, but some are upset that she’s getting judged.

229

You people are pussies, holy fuck.
You make it sound like they are raping the kid.

230

[quote]legendaryblaze wrote:
You people are pussies, holy fuck.
You make it sound like they are raping the kid.[/quote]

You’re an idiot.
Good luck raising your own kids. I feel sorry for them.

231

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]MementoMori wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]MementoMori wrote:

Fact is the worst part is the kid was a passenger in his own life with no influence over the consequences. When I was a kid my parents asked why, they listened, then they decided on punishment.[/quote]

Your parents asked why? If you were 8 years old and your parents told you NOT to go down the street by yourself and you did, they shouldn’t be asking you why. They should be reprimanding you for disobeying orders. When did kids suddenly start getting in on the parenting? Little kids are for the most part passengers in their lives because their parents take care of them. They aren’t paying bills, cooking meals or anything else.[/quote]

I figured thats how my statement would be interepreted. Fact is the woman just railroaded him. She didn’t ask him what happened she asked him scripted questions and he gave scripted answers. That back and forth has clearly happened a 100 times before and will happen again. That kid has zero autonomy.

My parents definitely asked me why I did what I did. Much easier to punish a child when you address his motives rather than his actions.

If the kid went down the street to play punish him.
If he went down the street because the dog got out or because he thought he was doing mom a favour trying to get the mail, teach him why it was unsafe so he knows not to do it again.
[/quote]

If my parents told me at 8 years old not to go down a certain street, it didn’t matter WHY I went down that street anyway. They know of risks I may not be aware of, even if the fucking dog ran off. They would have wanted me to go get them and tell them the dog got out, not go on a quest myself in territory they warned me against.

I am all for teaching a kid what they did wrong, but more often than not, no kid under the age of 12 is going to be trusted on their own judgment to go against rules.

It seems like you have been raised to think little children should be [part of decision making processes. They shouldn’t in my opinion.

If I tell a little kid don’t eat that cookie and they do, it doesn’t fucking matter WHY they ate. They disobeyed an order and that order was made for a reason that a little child may not be able to understand…which is why they have PARENTS.[/quote]

My parents always made me part of the decision process. “What did you do wrong? Why did you do it? What sort of punishment do you think you should receive?” I got so sick of it. I always wished they’d just punish me and get it over with. Why make me think about it? UGH!

My babysitter made it easy: either a spanking or standing in the corner by the coat closet. When those became “child abuse” she had to do time outs on the couch…big frickin’ deal. You could still talk to everyone and play and watch TV while sitting on the couch. At least if you were in the corner you were separated from everyone and they knew to ignore you but she could still keep an eye on you.

232

[quote]anonym wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
“I want him to obey”.

Get a well trained dog you cunt.

Funny, I’m a parent to 3 boys, from 20, 18 and 4. I never once thought of wanting them to “obey” - her words. Even during a troubling time with one, I am not looking for “obey”, but good decision making.

OBEY. She said it. You think I’m cherry picking? Listen to this broad. She has issues. And she is clearly ESCALATING her responses b/c her style of parenting is NOT working. What’s next, put pepper spray in your mouth b/c the hot sauce is no longer effective? Waterboarding b/c the cold shower doesn’t do it? [/quote]

Do you feel that acting out in school and then lying about it at home constitutes good decision making?

She isn’t asking for a robot or a slave, she wants her child to follow her rules - rules that involve telling the truth, behaving in school, following the instructions of those placed in charge of him and making “good choices”.

Being a father, you should know that children are oftentimes unable to think about situations well enough to exercise good decision making. That is why adults set rules: bedtimes, vegetable eating, finishing homework before watching TV, etc. Children are expected to abide by these standards (i.e., OBEY) because at a young age they are unable to either recognize the consequences of their actions or lack the discipline to make the choices most beneficial to them.

I agree with much of what you have said so far, but this objection is a weak one.[/quote]

Of course what you spoke of are reasonable expectations and observations. My post wasn’t as much an “objection” as it was peeling back a curtain into this lady’s motivations. I never wanted “obey”. I never thought of it like that - ever. I always gave and explained a reason, because “I told you so” is bullshit. How do you expect them to ever understand if you don’t explain?

And I think most important, I can turn your point on its head. If we agree that at that “young age they are unable to either recognize the consequences of their actions or lack the discipline to make the choices most beneficial to them”, do you really believe that physical punishment and fear is the answer and that it is a just approach? So basically, we’re advocating causing physical discomfort to a child that does not have the wherewithal to understand its actions?

Back to topic. I believe this kid knows what he did wrong and knew the consequences. Obviously, her approach isn’t working - as if anyone here needed anymore evidence that this bullshit is not effective. She should spend more time trying to understand why the kid is doing what he is doing. The kid is adopted. He probably has some issues. Ever wonder that he might act out for attention, because it’s the only attention the kid ever gets while competing with a bunch of other brothers and sisters? Or what if something else is the root cause? Shouldn’t we address the cause, rather than trying to punish him into compliance?

233

[quote]Rockscar wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

It seems like you have been raised to think little children should be [part of decision making processes. They shouldn’t in my opinion.

If I tell a little kid don’t eat that cookie and they do, it doesn’t fucking matter WHY they ate. They disobeyed an order and that order was made for a reason that a little child may not be able to understand…which is why they have PARENTS.[/quote]

Bingo. I used to ask my kids if they wanted X, Y or Z for dinner…between the 2 of them, they could not ever agree and one if not both were always upset at the outcome and I could never seem to recover. I’ve made this mistake, but it is a particular style that does not work. Parents feel they are making a more well rounded, decisive child if they are consulted about a lot of decisions…they end up being narcissistic in the end moreso than a regular child.

Now, they get what I give them for lunch or dinner. No arguing, and they better appreciate it…like it or not!
[/quote]

Can you point me to the peer reviewed studies supporting your learned conclusions above? Or are we talking about a study of one household?

234

[quote]doogie wrote:
I used to work for Child Protective Services, I have two kids of my own, and I was physically and mentally abused as a child. With that said, I don’t know where I stand on the actual punishment. To have to take it that far probably means you are a shitty parent to begin with. There is no way things should escalate to that point with a freaking 8 year old. If he loved his parents, if he had been taught right from wrong (as opposed to punished or not punished) then her disappointment would go a long way in controlling the kid’s behavior.

I think the psychological effects of what this woman is doing is going to be way worse on the kid than the hot sauce and cold showers. There is no way that kid feels loved in that home. There is no way he understands that he is being punished because it is his parents’ job to make him grow up to be a good person. All he’ll ever understand is that his mom is mean and doesn’t care about him, only about her rules.

Our previous CPS judge would have taken the kids from her, but our new one probably would just make her do parenting classes and individual therapy. Either way, the state would get involved in her life.[/quote]

Finally, a professional with some real life experience and perspective weighing in. I cannot believe the people here that support and defend this woman.

235

[quote]anonym wrote:
From Dr. Phil’s website:

“It’s just frustration,” Jessica blurts out. “I don’t know what to do with him. I really, truly don’t, and that’s why I wrote you. That’s why I am willing to sit up here, and have an audience look at me and judge me, because I need help for this child.”

So, in the event that some of you want to continue to harp on about what a monster she is, keep in mind that she’s stated that she has tried everything else she can think of and is truly at her wits’ end when it comes to getting through to this kid.

She is also the one who sent Dr. Phil the video tape.[/quote]

I think she is a monster. I don’t care that she is looking for help. I think she believes these are sound parenting strategies and she just so happened to run up against a kid where it won’t work.

I’ll tell you one thing I learned about people and dogs. Put a person, or a dog, under stress, and I have a window into its SOUL. We all have bad moments, moments we’d like to have back, but in those moments, there is TRUTH. When we train serious working dogs, we put them under stress, to see how they will react and if they can still do the vocation. It weeds many dogs out. When we train humans in the military, we do the same damn thing. Put something under stress, and watch…and learn about it. This woman is not just some frustrated mother. She’s got issues.

236

[quote]doogie wrote:

[quote]Spartiates wrote:
What’d Dr. Phil tell her?[/quote]

In response, Dr. Phil said, "… I think you are misguided. I think you think youâ??re doing the only thing you know how to do, but that is totally unacceptable.â??[/quote]

Apparently, judging by some here, she is in good company.

237

Professor X, you state my points as well as or better than I can. I’ll still give it a shot though.

If a child is doing something wrong, they need to learn to no longer do that thing. Looking back to when I was a child, I didn’t need to know WHY I shouldn’t do something; what was important was just making sure I did not do it. Sometimes physical punishment is the best option for teaching this.

Why would I not go this route? I don’t think I have it in me to hit a child. That’s my personal weakness. I do like the idea of digging holes or running though.

238

Lets put hotsauce in her va-jay-jay.

Note: Fuzzyapple did not go through 10 pages to see if this comment was already posted.

239

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]legendaryblaze wrote:
You people are pussies, holy fuck.
You make it sound like they are raping the kid.[/quote]

You’re an idiot.
Good luck raising your own kids. I feel sorry for them.[/quote]

Says the idiot who tried to convince people that being an artist was “important” to society.

Some people have been smacked across the face. Some used to have soap put in their mouth.
A little hot sauce and a 30 second cold shower? Puh- lease.
You fucking faggots talk about being hardcore, you sound like a bunch of pussies.
I bet your kids are (gonna be) self entitled slackers.

240

[quote]legendaryblaze wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]legendaryblaze wrote:
You people are pussies, holy fuck.
You make it sound like they are raping the kid.[/quote]

You’re an idiot.
Good luck raising your own kids. I feel sorry for them.[/quote]

Says the idiot who tried to convince people that being an artist was “important” to society.

Some people have been smacked across the face. Some used to have soap put in their mouth.
A little hot sauce and a 30 second cold shower? Puh- lease.
You fucking faggots talk about being hardcore, you sound like a bunch of pussies.
I bet your kids are (gonna be) self entitled slackers. [/quote]

So art is not important to society? Wow. One of the earliest expressions of man, encouraged, nurtured and celebrated throughout our entire history on the planet, from cave drawings to picasso. Thank you for pointing out the shallow end of the gene pool. I’d rather sound like a pussy than a dumb ignorant motherfucker.