Three words. Eyes Wide Shut.
How anyone could say that this endlessly laborious tripe constitutes a movie is beyond me. And the answer is no. Nicole naked was not worth the movie. My wife and I just sat their and forced ourselves through what must have been 4 hours of pain and torture to see if any sort of a plot materialized.
It didn’t.
But don’t take my word for it. Rent it… I dare ya’
Warriorsage
I have to second the notion that anything Uwe Boll is by far the worst crap ever to be made.
His movies are the shit you use to help focus your rage when trying to achieve a new PR lift. It’s the equivalent of what would happen if Hurricane Katrina were to mix with the ebola virus. An epic 4-disc documentary on the life of a blade of grass would have better entertainment value.
I swear to you Uwe Boll owes me at least 3 hours of my life back, if it weren’t for Kristianna Lokens tits I’d have burned down the entire fucking theatre I saw Bloodrayne at.
[quote]ggarrett wrote:
I have to second the notion that anything Uwe Boll is by far the worst crap ever to be made.
[/quote]
A. Are you a member of the Everything-Uwe-Boll-does-is-a-POS club? There’s a whole section on the Bloodrayne DVD extras talkingh about that.
B. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t THAT bad (as anti-UB flamers would have you believe). The gore effects were pretty fun. Sure Michelle Rodriguez’ accent comes and goes. Sure Michael Madsen was a bad casting choice for a S&S movie. But there is WAY WAY WAY worse crap out there than this one…
C. I only see a handful of movies at the theatre each year, but at least 2-3 a week on video. What would make you think that this was a theatre movie and not a wait-for-the-video movie? It has “video” written all over it.
Comic Book blockbusters, Bruce Willis, Denzel, and Oscar nominees — these are the movies you go pay $10-15 (incl food & drink) to go see.
[quote]TheWookie wrote:
Highlander II[/quote]
Highlander II never happened. Do you hear me? IT NEVER HAPPENED.
[quote]TheWookie wrote:
A little hijack here, but has any one ever fallen asleep in a movie theater, because the movie was so boring? Doesn’t count if you ate a handful of ZMA beforehand or if Professor X dropped a rufie in your diet coke.[/quote]
Prince of Tides. (I was young and with my family. I had no choice)
I fell asleep during the first part of Chicken Little. That movie doesn’t get good until the aliens show up.
I thought the first Mission Impossible was horrible. I never even saw part two.
Also in my horrible list:
Godzilla (with Matthew Broderick)
Dune (as directed by David Lynch)
Highlander II (I’m in denial that it was even made)
Star Wars Episodes I and II (haven’t seen III yet)
2001: A Space Odyssey
[quote]bigblue244 wrote:
Bauer97 wrote:
I nominate “Little Man” as a soon-to-be-on-this-thread movie, based purely on the previews I’ve seen.
If anybody here is actually willing to go watch that pile of shit when it comes out, I’d love to hear about it…
Amen[/quote]
I don’t think it looks as painful as that latest Robin Williams movie…
[quote]TheWookie wrote:
A little hijack here, but has any one ever fallen asleep in a movie theater, because the movie was so boring? Doesn’t count if you ate a handful of ZMA beforehand or if Professor X dropped a rufie in your diet coke.[/quote]
Club Paradise with Robin Williams … now that was a piece of shit.
Has anybody seen Leaving Las Vegas? That has to be one of the most boring movies I have ever seen.
[quote]simon-hecubus wrote:
ggarrett wrote:
I have to second the notion that anything Uwe Boll is by far the worst crap ever to be made.
A. Are you a member of the Everything-Uwe-Boll-does-is-a-POS club? There’s a whole section on the Bloodrayne DVD extras talkingh about that.
B. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t THAT bad (as anti-UB flamers would have you believe). The gore effects were pretty fun. Sure Michelle Rodriguez’ accent comes and goes. Sure Michael Madsen was a bad casting choice for a S&S movie. But there is WAY WAY WAY worse crap out there than this one…
C. I only see a handful of movies at the theatre each year, but at least 2-3 a week on video. What would make you think that this was a theatre movie and not a wait-for-the-video movie? It has “video” written all over it.
Comic Book blockbusters, Bruce Willis, Denzel, and Oscar nominees — these are the movies you go pay $10-15 (incl food & drink) to go see.[/quote]
My membership to the anti Uwe Boll club is strictly based on experience. I really wasn’t even aware of how much this guy was hated until Bloodrayne came out (and at which point thereafter I’d be proud to claim not only a member but president if I could)
I can only claim fanboy ignorance on seeing Bloodrayne in the theater. I liked the game, I liked the thought of Kristiana Loken as a kick ass half vampire, I thought that having Madsen and Michelle Rodriguez gave the flic some credibility, and so off I went. Fortunately there were no spoons available or I would have gouged my eyes out.
Obviously this thread has shown that tastes vary magnificently, for my money it doesn’t get much worse than Bloodrayne, it was in fact, that bad.
I would like to add that just because Mr. Boll has taken time on a DVD extra to acknowledge that hordes of people hate his shit, doesn’t in any manner deflate the merit of that dislike. He’s a crap director, his movies are crap, not because other people seem to think so, but because to me his flics are bad, real bad.
[quote]Spork Boy wrote:
TheWookie wrote:
Highlander II
Highlander II never happened. Do you hear me? IT NEVER HAPPENED.[/quote]
Wait was Highlander II the one in the future, that took a dump on the story and maid me feel like a third grader in Michel Jacksons house, crying, confused and bleeding.
[quote]sob440 wrote:
Spork Boy wrote:
TheWookie wrote:
Highlander II
Highlander II never happened. Do you hear me? IT NEVER HAPPENED.
Wait was Highlander II the one in the future, that took a dump on the story and maid me feel like a third grader in Michel Jacksons house, crying, confused and bleeding. [/quote]
Yes. That’s the one.
[quote]Spork Boy wrote:
TheWookie wrote:
Highlander II
Highlander II never happened. Do you hear me? IT NEVER HAPPENED.[/quote]
This is correct.
As far as I am aware, the original was such a great movie and had such a cult following, that this movie OFFICIALLY never happened.
Every fan unanimously agrees, in fact, if you don’t agree, you aren’t a fan and don’t count anyway.
There was no Highlander II. That is all.
[quote]vroom wrote:
Every fan unanimously agrees, in fact, if you don’t agree, you aren’t a fan and don’t count anyway.
There was no Highlander II. That is all.[/quote]
Glad that’s settled.
Anyhoo. I rented IZO because I thought it would be something cool from director Takashi Miike (Audition, Ichi the Killer, Gozu, etc.).
Boy was I sadly mistaken.
What a repetitive, incomprehensible, trite (yes, all those things at once) piece of garbage. There was some beautiful images and photography and some great gore, but for the most part it was like putting lipstick on a pig.
Stay away. You have been warned.
Dumb and dumberer. The first was classic and the sequel was crap.
The Patriot. Steven Segal, not Mel Gibson.
The miracle of life. The documentary you have to watch in Sex Ed in High school…
[quote]TheWookie wrote:
BIGRAGOO wrote:
Cabin Boy
NOOOOOOO! If you are a Chris Elliot fan it was damn funny.
[/quote]
Who is a chris elliot fan though?
and Snakes on a Plane
Samuel L.- “I just read the tittle I knew I had to do this movie, I didnt even read the script until we started filming” (not a direct quate but something to that effect
[quote]TheWookie wrote:
A little hijack here, but has any one ever fallen asleep in a movie theater, because the movie was so boring? Doesn’t count if you ate a handful of ZMA beforehand or if Professor X dropped a rufie in your diet coke.[/quote]
I fell asleep in alien resurection, then woke up because I had to shit so bad becouse of the coconut oil they used for butter at the movie theater
[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
I’m sorry, but any movie mentioned in this thread is Citizen Kane material compared to “Freddie Got Fingered”…[/quote]
[quote]BIGRAGOO wrote:
Cabin Boy[/quote]
I have them both on DVD. Hysterical.
Tom Green jerking off a horse is must see and Chris Elliot is a genius.
[quote]Warriorsage wrote:
Three words. Eyes Wide Shut.
How anyone could say that this endlessly laborious tripe constitutes a movie is beyond me. And the answer is no. Nicole naked was not worth the movie. My wife and I just sat their and forced ourselves through what must have been 4 hours of pain and torture to see if any sort of a plot materialized.
It didn’t.
But don’t take my word for it. Rent it… I dare ya’
Warriorsage[/quote]
Horrible movie. I have seen every Stanley Kubrick film and thought they were all brilliant with the exception of this.
I cannot believe he was responsible.
[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Horrible movie. I have seen every Stanley Kubrick film and thought they were all brilliant with the exception of this.
I cannot believe he was responsible.
[/quote]
He died before it was finished although I dont think he could have even salvaged that movie, I think the only thing that could was more naked nicole kidman (and by more I mean ALL)
Two movies I saw when I was in my 20’s, back in the 1980’s:
Maybe there was something to it and I just missed it, but I got nothing out of it and afterwards I was annoyed by the whole thing. I don’t remember why I didn’t just leave part of the way through.