It’s one of those situations where you don’t know how you really will react or how you really feel, until you are in it.
It was good they discussed it. But until you are in that situation, you really don’t know what you will do.
[quote]RebornTN wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
Your friend is an asshole pressuring a woman to have an abortion.
I don’t see where a lot of you guy’s are coming from here. You would rather have a child born to a bunch of college students? I think he has every right to make sure that she knows his stance on the issue. In the end, the choice is hers, but he has quite a large stake in the outcome.[/quote]
I would rather the child be allowed to live rather than be murdered.
Nothing he can do about it.
The thing is in HER body, she’ll do whatever the fuck she wants with it. Especially now that that “mommy” feeling kicked in.
[quote]RebornTN wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
Your friend is an asshole pressuring a woman to have an abortion.
I don’t see where a lot of you guy’s are coming from here. You would rather have a child born to a bunch of college students? I think he has every right to make sure that she knows his stance on the issue. In the end, the choice is hers, but he has quite a large stake in the outcome.[/quote]
There’s a difference between voicing an opinion - which is perfectly legitimate - and ‘arguing’ and ‘going nuts’ (as stated by the OP) to make his partner have an abortion. That smacks of pressure. I don’t believe in ‘example children’, and I’m all for a woman’s right to abort - but applying pressure to reach any outcome is not acceptable.
Makkun
[quote]Molotov_Coktease wrote:
John S. wrote:
RebornTN wrote:
I don’t see where a lot of you guy’s are coming from here. You would rather have a child born to a bunch of college students?
I am going to stop you right here. The answer is yes I do want to see this kid born to them. Maybe these irresponsible fucktards will learn a lesson and that lesson is if your not ready for a kid use fucking protection. There life is going to head in a new direction now and thats that, shit happens and you adapt you don’t go around killing the thing that fucks up your plans.
Yay! Awesome an example child. Good for you dickface. [/quote]
An example child, you can view it that way but it is much more then that. This child will teach them responsibility which is what having a child will do. Ask any parent if having a child didn’t teach them responsibility, you will find that more often then not it did.
[quote]Cron391 wrote:
Long story short my friend got his girlfriend pregnant. NOT a planned one so it was a real shock. He wants her to have a abortion seeing that they are still in college and have limited money and time.
[/quote]
After having sex with a woman, he is shocked that she got pregnant. This is one problem with artificial contraception – a person today is shocked by an outcome that almost nobody 100 years ago would have believed could possibly be a surprise.
A heinous agreement.
He should try to persuade her to give the child up for adoption. Failing that, he should do the best he can as a father whatever the situation. Failing that, he should at least refrain from trying get his own child killed.
Assuming she didn’t do something to him in his sleep: he had plenty of say, before he had sex with her.
Just make sure your friend knows that if he wins the ‘argument’, and she has an abortion, she will eventually hate him and their relationship will end. Just make sure he knows that. Sooner or later, she will hate him.
Tell your friend that there is no “perfect” time to have a child. When I found out I was having a daughter, I honestly had $0.01 in my bank account. She’s the best thing I’ve ever done. No one is ever “ready” for their first child.
I would say that for the sake of their relationship, they need to make a unified decision. If she has the child in spite of his objections, he may end up resenting her. If she has an abortion to appease him, she may resent him. For $100 they can see a couples counselor who will help them objectively talk about what they want. If he doesn’t want it because it interferes with his education plans, or simply is going to cut down on his partying, he needs to communicate that. If he loves and respects his fiancee, then he should at least be able to be honest, no matter what his reservations are.
Does your friend have any idea how badly being forced into an abortion can fuck a woman up?
It’s sad that he could be with her for 4 years and not give a flyng fuck about her mental well being.
It’s also sad that someone in college has never heard of a condom.
Unless he has a change of heart, that guy is fucked up.
If he pressures her to have an abortion and she does, the relationship will end, and he’s a horrible person.
If he pressures her to have an abortion and she doesn’t, the relationship will end, he’s a horrible person, and he has to pay child support.
Ouch.
I think in some situations an abortion is the best option due to the fact that if the kid is born and the parents do not have the money, dedication or evniroment to raise a kid then it’s gonna have an extremely shitty life
My opinion is also that having an abortion (as soon as you know you’re pregnant) is not killing a baby anyway, I believe it to be preventing the develpoment and growth of your sperm (which you quite often flush down the toilet/drain) and her egg (which would usually also be thrown out).
However if you leave it for more than say a week after discovering you’re pregnant and then get one, I do think something is going to die, not a baby, but something
[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
It’s one of those situations where you don’t know how you really will react or how you really feel, until you are in it.
It was good they discussed it. But until you are in that situation, you really don’t know what you will do.
[/quote]
Why, I do believe I agree with you.
I’m mildly amused that she has gone back on her word, but unless we’ve been in that exact scenario… it really is hard to pass judgment.
EDIT: I swear words get lost in cyberspace.
[quote]John S. wrote:
Molotov_Coktease wrote:
John S. wrote:
RebornTN wrote:
I don’t see where a lot of you guy’s are coming from here. You would rather have a child born to a bunch of college students?
I am going to stop you right here. The answer is yes I do want to see this kid born to them. Maybe these irresponsible fucktards will learn a lesson and that lesson is if your not ready for a kid use fucking protection. There life is going to head in a new direction now and thats that, shit happens and you adapt you don’t go around killing the thing that fucks up your plans.
Yay! Awesome an example child. Good for you dickface.
An example child, you can view it that way but it is much more then that. This child will teach them responsibility which is what having a child will do. Ask any parent if having a child didn’t teach them responsibility, you will find that more often then not it did.[/quote]
The way you word it de-humanizes the child.
[quote]John S. wrote:
Molotov_Coktease wrote:
John S. wrote:
RebornTN wrote:
I don’t see where a lot of you guy’s are coming from here. You would rather have a child born to a bunch of college students?
I am going to stop you right here. The answer is yes I do want to see this kid born to them. Maybe these irresponsible fucktards will learn a lesson and that lesson is if your not ready for a kid use fucking protection. There life is going to head in a new direction now and thats that, shit happens and you adapt you don’t go around killing the thing that fucks up your plans.
Yay! Awesome an example child. Good for you dickface.
An example child, you can view it that way but it is much more then that. This child will teach them responsibility which is what having a child will do. Ask any parent if having a child didn’t teach them responsibility, you will find that more often then not it did.[/quote]
Sadly, I don’t think this is true at all. I’m not saying that abortion is the right thing to do by any means. And pressuring her to have one certainly isn’t. But most people irresponsible enough to get themselves in this situation remain irresponsible. And the child suffers. Some people rise to the occasion and ‘grow up.’ Many others don’t. People don’t always grow up and take responsibility because they should.
[quote]jsbrook wrote:
John S. wrote:
Molotov_Coktease wrote:
John S. wrote:
RebornTN wrote:
I don’t see where a lot of you guy’s are coming from here. You would rather have a child born to a bunch of college students?
I am going to stop you right here. The answer is yes I do want to see this kid born to them. Maybe these irresponsible fucktards will learn a lesson and that lesson is if your not ready for a kid use fucking protection. There life is going to head in a new direction now and thats that, shit happens and you adapt you don’t go around killing the thing that fucks up your plans.
Yay! Awesome an example child. Good for you dickface.
An example child, you can view it that way but it is much more then that. This child will teach them responsibility which is what having a child will do. Ask any parent if having a child didn’t teach them responsibility, you will find that more often then not it did.
Sadly, I don’t think this is true at all. I’m not saying that abortion is the right thing to do by any means. And pressuring her to have one certainly isn’t. But most people irresponsible enough to get themselves in this situation remain irresponsible. And the child suffers. Some people rise to the occasion and ‘grow up.’ Many others don’t. People don’t always grow up and take responsibility because they should.[/quote]
We have already seen the mother taking the first step this is a very good thing. The father will either follow or continue being a POS. I have found more often then not the parents rise to the occasion tho.
[quote]Makavali wrote:
John S. wrote:
Molotov_Coktease wrote:
John S. wrote:
RebornTN wrote:
I don’t see where a lot of you guy’s are coming from here. You would rather have a child born to a bunch of college students?
I am going to stop you right here. The answer is yes I do want to see this kid born to them. Maybe these irresponsible fucktards will learn a lesson and that lesson is if your not ready for a kid use fucking protection. There life is going to head in a new direction now and thats that, shit happens and you adapt you don’t go around killing the thing that fucks up your plans.
Yay! Awesome an example child. Good for you dickface.
An example child, you can view it that way but it is much more then that. This child will teach them responsibility which is what having a child will do. Ask any parent if having a child didn’t teach them responsibility, you will find that more often then not it did.
The way you word it de-humanizes the child.[/quote]
Then you are reading what I am sayinig wrong. I wish this child life how is that de-huminizing it? I think the father is the biggest POS alive but thats about the only person I consider sub human in this.
[quote]John S. wrote:
Then you are reading what I am sayinig wrong. I wish this child life how is that de-huminizing it? I think the father is the biggest POS alive but thats about the only person I consider sub human in this.[/quote]
The way I read it, you treat the child as a ‘lesson’ for the parents.
EDIT: What’s a POS? I can’t keep up with you kids and your fancy internet speak.
Might sound crazy, but I think kids have the right to good parents.
It doesn’t sound like these guys were ready to be parents before this point, so I hope once she decided to keep it that they will both give everything they can to make a good life for the little one.
[quote]Makavali wrote:
John S. wrote:
Then you are reading what I am sayinig wrong. I wish this child life how is that de-huminizing it? I think the father is the biggest POS alive but thats about the only person I consider sub human in this.
The way I read it, you treat the child as a ‘lesson’ for the parents.
EDIT: What’s a POS? I can’t keep up with you kids and your fancy internet speak.[/quote]
Piece of shit.
And no I am not trying to treat the kid as a leason only but the kid will teach responsibility thats what I was getting at.