Mr. Dubey and his representatives’ arguments have some valid points. I do feel that the current laws are a bit unfair toward men; but mostly the unfairness is toward the children. And the current laws enable some women to avoid some measure of personal responsibility and the best interests of the children.
Allowing yourself to get pregnant and have a child from a man you know from the beginning does not want to be a father, is irresponsible and not in the best interests of children.
I’ll use this case as an example. Mr. Dubay clearly stated that he was not ready to become a father. Yet, the woman DECIDED (because yes, as intelligent creatures, we do make a DECISION weather or not to be astute about birth control, abstaining, etc…) to become pregnant and bring a child into this world. How responsible is this of the mother, to become pregnant and have a child knowing the child would be the product of a broken home and a father who wasn’t ready for parenthood???
TO KNOWINGLY BRING A CHILD INTO AN ESSENTIALLY FATHERLESS SITUATION IS IRRESPONSIBLE TOWARD THE CHILD AND NOT IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF CHILDREN.
The argument that many women use that it was a “mistake” or an “accident” that they have become pregnant by a man who didn’t want them to become pregnant brings women’s empowerment, accomplishments and status back to the old days when women were not allowed to vote and were considered second class citizens next to men.
We can’t as women spout from one side of our mouths “Women’s Equality, Women’s Empowerment”, while on the other side of our mouths say “We’re Helpless, Hapless and Hopeless” about getting pregnant. This is an insult to many strong, intelligent, responsible women everywhere. TO LEAVE PREGNANCY TO HAPPENSTANCE AND TO BE HELPLESS, HAPLESS AND HOPELESS ABOUT YOUR REPRODUCTIVE ACTIVITIES IS A POOR EXCUSE, AND IS NOT FAIR TO NOR IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF ANY CHILDREN THAT MAY BE BORN INTO YOUR SITUATION.
There’s no excuse. Technology is such that there are so many Birth Control choices or the choice to abstain…or, GASP!, the choice to find a sexual partner who is ready to raise a child if a pregnancy should occur. Millions of women in westernized countries successfully prevent pregnancy by using birth control methods or abstaining.
For a woman to make that choice to prevent an unwanted pregnancy by using birth control methods or abstaining is called TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, and more people, women and men, should adopt the belief in TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILTY. There are even free or very low cost clinics that will provide gynecological screenings, birth control and counseling.
WITH ALL THE EDUCATION AND RESOURCES OUT THERE, UNLESS YOU’RE A RAPE VICTIM OR A DEVELOPMENTALLY DELAYED ADULT MAN OR WOMAN, THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR UNWANTED PREGNANCIES. (Although there are many developmentally delayed men and women out there who successfully and consciously prevent unwanted pregnancies).
For a woman to DECIDE to have a child from a man who is honest about not being ready for parenthood by DECIDING to become sexually involved with him, by DECIDING not to abstain, or by DECIDING not to use birth control, is not only foolish, but is downright irresponsible and not in the best interests of any child or children that should result from this behavior.
DON’T BE SELFISH ENOUGH TO GET PREGNANT FROM A MAN WHO TELLS YOU HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE A FATHER, KNOWING THE IMPLICATIONS THIS WILL HAVE UPON A CHILD…THIS IS NOT FAIR TO THE CHILD.
So then the issue of child support payments and financing of single parenthood. I’m referring to women who have children knowing from the beginning that the father wants no part of it. We are being naieve if we say that child support, as well as supplemental government assistance, does not offer financial incentives for many women. Think about it.
Think about the impact that revision of child support laws could have upon single parenthood… MORE WOMEN WOULD THINK TWICE ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN FROM MEN WHO ARE OPEN ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE PARENTS IF THEY KNEW THAT THERE WASN’T CHILD SUPPORT/WELFARE/GOVERMENT ASSISTANCE TO FALL BACK UPON; ULTIMATELY, THIS WOULD BENEFIT CHILDREN, WHO WOULD NOT BE BROUGHT INTO BAD SITUAIONS, AND ALSO BENEFIT THE WHOLE OF SOCIETY.
And the argument that child support and supplemental government assistance is only enough to keep these single parent families just above poverty…that again is a “helpless, hapless, hopeless” argument…why knowingly bring children into this world who are not wanted by their fathers, when you yourself are not financially ready to provide for the child, then place the financial burden upon other people-- the unwilling father and the already overburdened taxpayers?
And to do this to a child? That is irresponsibility at its finest! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELVES AND YOUR REPRODUCTIVE ABILLITIES!! IF YOU’RE A MAN OR A WOMAN, IF YOUR SITUATION IS SUCH THAT HAVING A CHILD WILL PLACE YOUR SOCIOECONOMIC STATUS AROUND THE POVERTY LEVEL, THEN YOU ARE NOT READY TO HAVE A CHILD, AND YOU HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO USE BIRTH CONTROL OR ABSTAIN UNTIL SUCH TIME THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO PROPERLY CARE FOR AND PROVIDE FOR A CHILD.