I think that this is more of an O/T than a training question, so I’m posting it here. There’s a woman I know pretty well, let’s just call her “Mrs. Porkchop.” Mrs. P tells me every now and again that she wants to get in better shape. This usually happens in about May of every year, because it’s almost bathing suit season. So, we start training; it lasts a while and then kind of tapers off – by August, it’s pretty much over. I patiently explain that training is a more or less year round activity and suggest that we need to adopt a longer view of the process. Citing my own situation, I explain that I’m looking as much as 8 or 9 months ahead in planning generally what kind of workouts I am going to be doing.
I suggest that if nothing else works, we ought to look at one of those longterm get-back-in-shape programs that show up in the magazines around January. She tells me that women don't think that way, and that their magazines don't have any such programs. Mrs. P says, "Women don't start thinking about getting in shape until a few weeks before bikini season and no such long term programs exist." Not believing her, I go and look at a bunch of those mags and their associated websites and discover that she is absolutely right. Any men's fitness-related magazine publishes at least two four-to-six-month programs every year, but all I could find in the equivalent women's mags was stuff like "Four weeks to a better butt." So, what gives? Is it really the case that many (most) women are oblivous to things like periodization and working out for the long term?
Reminds me of the “I want to lose fat, hmmmmm I like this ice cream though.” Or the “I worked out today so I can eat cookies.” Yes, men do this too though.
What do you expect, even most men don’t have a clue on how to work out. Then women are fed a bunch of shibai on how to “tone” their body. My point is just try your best in helping your friend. If she grumbles some more, just say my way or the highway. I mean that is what I tell my clients up front.
Yup, most women (and a lot of men) are oblivious to the things that frequenters of this and similar boards take for common knowledge.
I think a lot of it has to do with the ‘dumbing down of America’. Newspapers are usually written at a 4th grade reading level. In school, there is a social stigma attached to smart kids. Some even degrade them by calling them ‘nerds’. Prowess in PE and extracurricular sports garners social acclaim from peers and authority figures. How many times have we seen “stage moms/dads” at sporting events and how many times have we seen that same intensity being channeled toward academics? Even people who excel at academics are usually not taught to be indepenent thinkers but rote memorizers. Add to this the marvelous bunch of folks in the FDA that made up the USRDA and other such nonsense as the food pyramid. Basic exercise physiology/body mechanics and true nutrition is not common knowledge. Plus, there is the argument of gender bias in the medical community. I think all these factors, and probably many others, conspire to the unfortunate educational state of Mrs. Porkchop.
You are not likely to change all the above mentioned articles (I wish you all the luck in the world though) but you can educate Mrs. P. Don’t dumb things down for her; give her scientific, but understandable, data on how the macro nutrients are utilized in her body and the physiology of exercising long-term and short-term (T-mag is an excellent resource to turn her on to if you haven’t already). She will come to understand that she’s been lied to all her life and been set up to fail at achieving those perfect abs in six weeks with only 3 minutes of exercise a day.
Thanks, all. This is a start to understanding what’s going on.
HapaHaole, actually “Mrs. Porkchop” really is “Mrs. Porkchop,” so “my way or the highway” wouldn’t work out all that well for anybody involved, like our three hapa kids, for example.
~Karma~, (by the way I like the tildes in your screen name, but why are they there?) the part that I don’t understand is that Mrs. P doesn’t really want to be educated on this, she just wants me to give her a program that will produce instantaneous results. It’s not like she can’t learn this stuff; she’s a law school graduate and plenty smart. (She graduated from college at 19 and from law school at 22.) And in fact, she admits that she realizes that miracle workout results are a fantasy. She just wants someone else (i.e., me) to do all the thinking when it comes to workouts. After reading some of those magazines, it looks to me like there must be a lot of women who take the same view. They seem to serve up month after month of drivel, but they keep selling magazines, even though the same four or five workout schemes are repeated over and over. Nothing in those mags ever seems to look beyond four to six weeks, as if doing some program for a few weeks will produce a lifetime of tight glutes, abs, etc. with no further need to exercise at all. If the bulk (no pun intended) of American women really think this way, then maybe I oughta start a magazine myself. Do they really believe this stuff or is there simply an epidemic of wishful thinking?
I was just flipping through the latest issue of Shape magazine that my receptionist brought into the office today. A few ineresting tidbits:
All of the hype surrounding high protein diets has caused so much confusion. If you are in doubt, refer back to the good old food pyramid. They then recommend 68grams of protein daily for the average women. Anything more will probably just be stored as fat.
A chocolate chip cookie and a glass of milk are recommended as a snack.
One reader wrote in to ask if the Corn Pops and Cocoa Puffs she loved to eat were an okay breakfast choice. The response? A carb is a carb and so there really isn’t anything wrong with it although she may want to consider combining them with a higher fiber cereal so she won’t feel hungry so soon after.
GOOD GOD!
If she’s that smart, then appeal to her intellect. Tell her that it’s irrational to believe that 4 weeks of working out will yield a lifetime of results - just like you have here. Give her some real info (diet - specifically the details of insulin release and its affect on the body - would be a good place to start) and force her to get educated. People with a lot of gumption and energy hate being called lazy. Similarly, people who are smart and well-educated hate being called stupid. So if you can prove to her that her behavior is, shall we say, less than intelligent, maybe she’ll start to change.
I understand that if you’re married there’s a lot more going on than just who’s got a tight butt. But at the same time, I was in a similar situation and I know that it really bothered me when my ex would just fart around in the gym or eat a bunch of crap. (Acutally, that part didn’t bother me so much as when she came to me complaining about this or that on her body.)
Anyway, sounds to me like you’ve got a bit of a tough decision to make. Good luck with it!
Yes, I think there’s a lot of wishful thinking out there. But, I also think that sometimes we women just want someone else to do the grunt work for us. In other words, maybe you should just devise a program for your Mrs. so she doesn’t have to research and study yet one more thing. Eventually, she may get interested in pursuing that herself, but it seems that she wants results now rather than info, and if she would be happy to follow a program that you designed for her, why not do that? I know that for me it is sometimes just too much “thinking” to add yet another thing to my already over-crowded day. I sometimes just don’t want to think anymore, but would be happy to follow a neat little program that someone designed for me. Maybe that’s why personal trainers get business. Or maybe it’s just me being really tired right about now.
I have to agree with Char-dawg and GM. Appeal to her obvious intellect (but obviously without demeaning her in the process) and/or simply schedule her out some meals/menu plans and exercise plans for her to follow. If she is a very intelligent woman and uses her brain all day, she very well could lack the mental energy/drive to delve into the minutiae of nutrition and physiology. If this is the case, having you hand her a diet and exercise book that details exactly what she is to eat at what times of the day and what exercises to perform at what set/rep scheme would be a total god-send. She can draw on your expertise without having to become the expert herself. If it were me in this scenario and I asked you for and you delivered this…dude, you’d so get laid! It would be HUGELY appreciated. You did say she acknowledged that no 6 week routine will produce ‘Patricia-esque’ results (i.e. impressive)- so if she knows this then she can’t be disappointed when it doesn’t happen. You’re in the clear here.
BTW, the tildes were so I can scan the list of posters and easily pick out my name on threads I’d replied to so I can see what else has been posted to them. Just makes it a tad easier.
May I add perhaps the simplest and most important advice of all with regard to women’s training. (This was actually handed down by God as the 11th Commandment, yet someone lost the tablet in the desert). “ALL WOMEN MUST SQUAT! (And squat deep)”! Thank you.
I am not sure why or if this is specific to women, but the magazines are telling them what they want to hear. The average woman (or man) does not want to put forth the effort, they want it quick easy and NOW! Hell why not, you can get everything else in our society that way so why not this too? Look at the bowflex commercials, they show a body that has been trained for years, and promise you for low monthly payments, you will look like that in 6 weeks or less. How many of you have ever known someone trying the 10lbs in 3 days diet or some other bullshit? These people know that it takes diet and exercise, but they just cant let go of the idea that somehow there is a quicker easier way.