[quote]DJS wrote:
denver_judoka wrote:
anyone else want to put money up to see tough guy try and put a rear naked choke on a chimp?
I wish there was a safe way to do this for real! Like even if you muzzle the thing and give the athlete an adamantium jock cup I think once he starts attacking the chimp he is going to get sooooo fucked up.
I see dislocated elbows and shoulders in no time. At the very least. Chimps are kinda like the Russian from Rocky IV vs Creed. They don’t know what an “exibition” is. They are not going to hold back.
Chimp struts out to middle of the ring. Chimp looks up at foe as the ref gives out instructions and cackles in native chimp “I must take your balls.”[/quote]
I’m getting a kick imagining the training montages for a Rocky IV that had a chimp instead of Drago.
[quote]Scrotus wrote:
Berserkergang wrote:
musicma1n1 wrote:
Chimps have huge pulling strength, but I wounder what their pushing strength is like considering they never have many activities where they need to push stuff.
Actually their strength has nothing to do with their activities. Even caged chimps who never used their muscles are still freaking strong.
I guess the reasons of their massive strength are:
-Improved sensivity of muscle target cells to testosterone (=big muscles)
-Fast-twitch muscle fibers dominant
-Thick bones and tendons. Huge tendon insertion.
-Poor autogenic inhibition reflex.
Caged chimps still freak out and jerk really hard on their cage really hard. Which would do something to develop their muscles. Its not like they just sit there napping all day. Ok thats what they do most of the day, but most animals nap all day. I do aggree with your bullet points about why they are so strong.
I would also like to point out an average 165 pound man who is pulling on the dynonaminator is probably a puss, and Herman Goerner could one arm deadlift 734 pounds in 1920. Could he take a chimp? Definitely, he wrastled elephants, and could use a gun.
About running away, i saw on a program that a chimp can reach speeds of 35 miles per hour for a short spurt.
[/quote]
Wrestled an Elephant?? What was it? about 2 hours old or something?? An elephant (even an asian elephant which is smaller and more docile)would kill a human with no effort involved atall (One swipe with their trunk would do it), although an Elephants favourite tactic is to stamp the hell out of you, and then move in with the tusks, just to make sure of you.
As for the other comment by someone about having a knife, I’m sorry, but most african tribesmen who live in proximity to animals, posess knives and spears in abundance, and the knowledge of how to use them, still steer well clear of animals because they know you would be dead meat if you try to take it on. In those societies, hunting big game is usually accomplished by groups of at least 10 men at a time.
All you guys with your wishful thinking that a man can take a chimp are just in denial. Face it, you can be torn apart by chimp no matter how bad-ass you think you are. I think the whole discussion is ridiculous. Just because it shares some physical traits with us doesn’t mean we are the same. The wolverine is one of the most feared animals in North America. Even grizzlies avoid them. But the grizzly isn’t discussing with his friends why wolverines are so ferocious. It is what it is.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
The wolverine is one of the most feared animals in North America. Even grizzlies avoid them. But the grizzly isn’t discussing with his friends why wolverines are so ferocious. [/quote]
You are sooo wrong. I saw this thing on Discovery like just 10 minutes ago where it had these grizzlies sitting around talking about how they could fuck up a wolverine if they just had opposable thumbs so they could use teh knife.
So this one grizzly says if someone would tape a knife to his paw he would be willing to take on a wolverine, but teh other ones were like, ‘yeah right, teh wolverine would just rip the tape off cause they smart like that and then where would you be?’ then this other grizzly went off and shit in the woods and the other grizzlies were like, ‘aw man, that is soo wrong’ and the grizzly that shit in the woods was like, ‘we’re bears man…it’s what we do…you telling me we gotta sit around and talk about that now??’
[quote]Blaze_108 wrote:
Anyone else here listen to comedian Daniel Tosh? He talks about how retarded people and chimps each have the strength of ten men, so if you ever see a retarded chimp, turn and run, because that is a borderline superhero.[/quote]
So my retard strong joke wasn’t completely original?
[quote]Scrotus wrote:
Berserkergang wrote: (In response to posts claiming that or operating on the basis of something that the chimps do, something with training significance, being the cause of their extreme strength compared to man)
Actually their strength has nothing to do with their activities. Even caged chimps who never used their muscles are still freaking strong.
I guess the reasons of their massive strength are:
-Improved sensivity of muscle target cells to testosterone (=big muscles)
-Fast-twitch muscle fibers dominant
-Thick bones and tendons. Huge tendon insertion.
-Poor autogenic inhibition reflex.
Caged chimps still freak out and jerk really hard on their cage really hard. Which would do something to develop their muscles. [/quote]
Well then you could try dropping weight lifting for the next couple of years, and instead pull on bars. I wonder if you will get stronger? (Compared to what weight lifting did for you.)
[quote]mechanicsteve wrote:
As far as a fight the monkey has no chance against humans as they are far more civilized than humans. Adjusted for inflation, Clint Eastwood’s monkey movies out grossed every movie ever made, therefore monkeys are great actors, at least 34% better than humans. Name me a better actor than Clyde the monkey and Keanu Reeves? Brad Pitt, please. [/quote]
I study some primate anatomy; the reason that they are so strong is simple they are what are called Modified Brachiators-i.e. Modified tree-branch hangers. They have-compared to their size-very large bicep muscles.
The muscle running over their shoulders and scapulae are much more “substantial” because from a evolutionary stand point they must be able to lift themselves onto a tree branch hang for certain periods of time (sometimes while carrying young) and let go with one arm and move to the next branch. Basically when you dissect them you find that their Lats, Traps and Delts are huge.
Their shoulder joints are also rotated a little different-imagine if you had to walk around for periods of time with a loaded barbell over your head. Their shoulder and scapular joints are rotated a little more vertically. And their scapula are more “mobile” to accommodate the change in arm position from straight to hanging, etc.
[quote]sen say wrote:
Iron Dwarf wrote:
The wolverine is one of the most feared animals in North America. Even grizzlies avoid them. But the grizzly isn’t discussing with his friends why wolverines are so ferocious.
You are sooo wrong. I saw this thing on Discovery like just 10 minutes ago where it had these grizzlies sitting around talking about how they could fuck up a wolverine if they just had opposable thumbs so they could use teh knife.
So this one grizzly says if someone would tape a knife to his paw he would be willing to take on a wolverine, but teh other ones were like, ‘yeah right, teh wolverine would just rip the tape off cause they smart like that and then where would you be?’ then this other grizzly went off and shit in the woods and the other grizzlies were like, ‘aw man, that is soo wrong’ and the grizzly that shit in the woods was like, ‘we’re bears man…it’s what we do…you telling me we gotta sit around and talk about that now??’[/quote]
[quote]Thomas Gabriel wrote:
I’ve been doing a lot of reading on chimps, and I’m really starting to hate them. If you are attacked and you don’t have a weapon on you, and can’t run, just try to protect your balls/eyes/fingers, and pray that someone will help you. Another good reason to always have a knife on you though.[/quote]
“I’ve been doing a lot of reading on chimps, and I’m really starting to hate them.,”
Ha, that was funny and yes anything that will viciously eat off your fingers, balls, and face, should be hated. As someone else said damn dirty apes! But, a knife would hardly offer me comfort in chimp country. Give me a 12 ga loaded with slugs and lots of ammo and I’d feel a little more comfortable.
It will be interesting as doping technology increases and the secrets of the chimp can be unlocked. Athletes will begin taking bi-weekly injections of chimp muscle gene therapy.
This will come to be known as “Chimping”.
Dude… you see that guy? He just went to do a lat stretch on the suport beam column in the center of the gym and ripped it out! That guy is chimping his face off! Man I hate those Chimpers. Cheating Chimpers!
HBO Sports specials will air on “Chimping in Football”. Bryant Gumble breaks down a clip. “As you see here, the defensive back tried to insert his hand and strip the ball from the running back as he ran past. Sadly, he got a hand wrapped around the back’s arm as well, Completely tearing it off of his torso. A clear sign that Chimping has come to the NFL.”