I’ve been doing a lot of reading on chimps, and I’m really starting to hate them. If you are attacked and you don’t have a weapon on you, and can’t run, just try to protect your balls/eyes/fingers, and pray that someone will help you. Another good reason to always have a knife on you though.
Ari
[quote]riverhawk23 wrote:
You guys know nothing…These chmips do crossfit all the time…They are ultimate in functional strength. Someone should make a workout routine and make a tribute to Travis the chimp…Lots of pull ups and poo flinging.[/quote]
Yes, but Crossfit workouts have to have girl’s names. So do we call it the “Zira” workout, or the “Ari” workout?
[quote]tribunaldude wrote:
yeah the chimps don;t look too strong for some reason lol[/quote]
talk about cankles
[quote]musicma1n1 wrote:
Chimps have huge pulling strength, but I wounder what their pushing strength is like considering they never have many activities where they need to push stuff.[/quote]
Actually their strength has nothing to do with their activities. Even caged chimps who never used their muscles are still freaking strong.
I guess the reasons of their massive strength are:
-Improved sensivity of muscle target cells to testosterone (=big muscles)
-Fast-twitch muscle fibers dominant
-Thick bones and tendons. Huge tendon insertion.
-Poor autogenic inhibition reflex.
ironmiketyson that was disturbing, I will never look at a chimp the same. Damn them little bastards.
I remember seeing a documentary about baboons that were stealing little infants in some country, I forgot where. There was even a story about how a baboon that had its baby killed by another bamboon or sickness can’t remember. So what happened it stole a human infant to replace it, yet they rescued it back from the baboon later.
As far as a fight the monkey has no chance against humans as they are far more civilized than humans. Adjusted for inflation, Clint Eastwood’s monkey movies out grossed every movie ever made, therefore monkeys are great actors, at least 34% better than humans. Name me a better actor than Clyde the monkey? Brad Pitt, please.
[quote]Carlitosway wrote:
ironmiketyson that was disturbing, I will never look at a chimp the same. Damn them little bastards.
I remember seeing a documentary about baboons that were stealing little infants in some country, I forgot where. There was even a story about how a baboon that had it’s baby killed by another bamboon or sickness can’t remember. So what happened it stole a human infant to replace it, yet they rescued it back from the baboon later.[/quote]
Saw that story also.
carrots and crystal skull crushers obv
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
carrots and crystal skull crushers obv[/quote]
Bananas = Roids.
Carrots = Fat burner.
They are obviously on bananas. Not carrots.
[quote]Magarhe wrote:
Any animal VS Human - Human lose
Any animal VS Human + knife - Human wins.
That is pretty accurate. big knife + skill to use it a man can take down anything (not guaranteed though)
Choke hold - you can’t choke animals as easily as humans. Being choked is a vulnerability we have, not them. Same with snapping the neck.
I could beat a chimp - in the water. Take that chimp!
Another way - run away. but make sure it follows. for hours. until it drops dead of exhaustion.
$10 says chimps have more Type IIs than we do
IT IS NOT CHINUPS. It doesn’t matter one crap what the chimp did to get strong. It is 100% genetics. Bone structure, muscle composition, and above all, tendon thickness and the settings in nervous system allowing more strength in normal situations because no breakage will occur.
Humans are incredibly endurance oriented. Everything about us is for endurance, long distance walking, storing fat and surviving / moving on to better pastures.
To take out a chimp the best way would be to get it from behind and bite out the side of its neck going for the blood vessels. If you have to fight it. That is what I think, I could be wrong, there may be better ways. Any human taking on a creature bare handed is pretty dumb though. [/quote]
Interesting how there are so many more humans than chimps.
Combine vicious beast with scary strength and you get the essence of chimp. My chimp story: about 8 years ago I went to the local mom and pop zoo, we ain’t talking no state run zoo here, you could get close to the apes, maybe a little too close.
One of the male chimps started to beat the cage with a fist over head posture while stomping his feet, and this guy was not much over 100lbs.
I was about 20 feet away and I could feel the ground shake, massive force being generated here. I realized that if one of these bastards broke loose he could dispose of us about as easy as you could squash a mouse in your hand.
No man is a match. Think Fedor could last half a minute with an average male chimp? Think again. We have 2 legs, they have 4 legs that double as hands for holding and ripping while their canine teeth finish the deal.
They begin building huge usable strength when they’re infants- pulling, pushing, absorbing great impacts. Over years you end up with a body that’s efficient for killing. Keeping chimps as pets is stupid. If you have a pet chimp then don’t invite me over cause I ain’t coming…unless you’re Jamie Eason, then maybe.
i would fuck jamie eason with a chipanzee
Oh yeah?
Anyone else here listen to comedian Daniel Tosh? He talks about how retarded people and chimps each have the strength of ten men, so if you ever see a retarded chimp, turn and run, because that is a borderline superhero.
[quote]Magarhe wrote:
Any animal VS Human - Human lose
Any animal VS Human + knife - Human wins.
That is pretty accurate. big knife + skill to use it a man can take down anything (not guaranteed though)
[/quote]
Bullshit! There are lots of animals I can take by hand - housecats, mice, rats, hamsters, gerbils, etc. Bats are very fragile.
DB
[quote]musicma1n1 wrote:
A 2:1 ratio of pulling to pushing movements,[/quote]
You should be doing that anyways.
Funny, I was just reading an article/blog about this.
[quote]Berserkergang wrote:
musicma1n1 wrote:
Chimps have huge pulling strength, but I wounder what their pushing strength is like considering they never have many activities where they need to push stuff.
Actually their strength has nothing to do with their activities. Even caged chimps who never used their muscles are still freaking strong.
I guess the reasons of their massive strength are:
-Improved sensivity of muscle target cells to testosterone (=big muscles)
-Fast-twitch muscle fibers dominant
-Thick bones and tendons. Huge tendon insertion.
-Poor autogenic inhibition reflex.
[/quote]
Caged chimps still freak out and jerk really hard on their cage really hard. Which would do something to develop their muscles. Its not like they just sit there napping all day. Ok thats what they do most of the day, but most animals nap all day. I do aggree with your bullet points about why they are so strong.
I would also like to point out an average 165 pound man who is pulling on the dynonaminator is probably a puss, and Herman Goerner could one arm deadlift 734 pounds in 1920. Could he take a chimp? Definitely, he wrastled elephants, and could use a gun.
About running away, i saw on a program that a chimp can reach speeds of 35 miles per hour for a short spurt.
anyone else want to put money up to see tough guy try and put a rear naked choke on a chimp?
[quote]denver_judoka wrote:
anyone else want to put money up to see tough guy try and put a rear naked choke on a chimp?[/quote]
I wish there was a safe way to do this for real! Like even if you muzzle the thing and give the athlete an adamantium jock cup I think once he starts attacking the chimp he is going to get sooooo fucked up.
I see dislocated elbows and shoulders in no time. At the very least. Chimps are kinda like the Russian from Rocky IV vs Creed. They don’t know what an “exibition” is. They are not going to hold back.
Chimp struts out to middle of the ring. Chimp looks up at foe as the ref gives out instructions and cackles in native chimp “I must take your balls.”