What Grinded Your Gears Today?

Off Topic
121

[quote]HeyWaj10 wrote:
I work in clinical research (drug development), and am on study calls all.the.time. The number one thing that grinds my gears on a daily basis: people (honestly, typically women) who cut each other off and repeatedly talk over each other during the call. It is truly infuriating. Everyone thinks that what they have to say is vastly more important than the other people on the call, and they interject so frequently and intensely that you can’t understand a word anyone is saying anyway. WTF is the deal with that?!?[/quote]

Dude, happens a lot to me, too. I’m a bit of a dick in such that most of the time when someone is trying to cut me off or talk over me, I lock eyes and speak more loudly. This tends to work long term, at least in my conversations with people. In a professional setting, if anyone starts talking over someone else, I tend to call them out - “Carol, I believe Sherryl was speaking.” (this was an actual conversation - names have been changed to protect the innocent). It’s such a pet peeve of mine that I can’t just let it go most of the time.

If I’m just talking bullshit, then it’s not a big deal but it still pisses me off to no end.

122

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Tennis seems to be the new blood sport in my neighborhood. I can’t believe how many people are willing to get really nasty fighting over court time, flaming other people on the neighborhood list-serve, accusing other neighbors of being bullies, accusing the neighborhood coach of being unkind to women… Insert PC buzzwords on victim-hood here. On and on. It’s been a total soap opera. I hope it’s just a handful of aggressive ding dongs, because the lack of civility over something so stupid is ridiculous.[/quote]

Just wait until they all start sleeping with each other. That’s when the real fun begins. Our neighborhood used to be a constant party, but tennis was at the center of the universe for them. I didn’t play, I didn’t care to play.
“I lift, tennis is gay” was my attitude. But then people started screwing each other’s wives and husbands and the whole shit house went up in flames. No more parties, no more hanging out. I just keep to myself now. I don’t need their drama.[/quote]

Didn’t I give you this advice earlier? It isn’t cheating if you don’t get caught and it can be pretty fun and exciting.

123

[quote]polo77j wrote:
Dude, happens a lot to me, too. I’m a bit of a dick in such that most of the time when someone is trying to cut me off or talk over me, I lock eyes and speak more loudly. This tends to work long term, at least in my conversations with people. In a professional setting, if anyone starts talking over someone else, I tend to call them out - “Carol, I believe Sherryl was speaking.” (this was an actual conversation - names have been changed to protect the innocent). It’s such a pet peeve of mine that I can’t just let it go most of the time.

If I’m just talking bullshit, then it’s not a big deal but it still pisses me off to no end.[/quote]

I’m not quite yet at the rank level where I feel I can call people out on it…especially considering a lot of this occurs among the top brass. If my meetings were in person, I’d definitely step in with direct eye contact to point it out. However, being that my meetings are all via phone conference, it would just add more volume and confusion to the mix. Some people have zero respect for professionalism and/or authority (read rank).

124

[quote]HeyWaj10 wrote:

[quote]polo77j wrote:
Dude, happens a lot to me, too. I’m a bit of a dick in such that most of the time when someone is trying to cut me off or talk over me, I lock eyes and speak more loudly. This tends to work long term, at least in my conversations with people. In a professional setting, if anyone starts talking over someone else, I tend to call them out - “Carol, I believe Sherryl was speaking.” (this was an actual conversation - names have been changed to protect the innocent). It’s such a pet peeve of mine that I can’t just let it go most of the time.

If I’m just talking bullshit, then it’s not a big deal but it still pisses me off to no end.[/quote]

I’m not quite yet at the rank level where I feel I can call people out on it…especially considering a lot of this occurs among the top brass. If my meetings were in person, I’d definitely step in with direct eye contact to point it out. However, being that my meetings are all via phone conference, it would just add more volume and confusion to the mix. Some people have zero respect for professionalism and/or authority (read rank). [/quote]

I get that and every work environment is different. I don’t mean to seem like I was saying “this is what you should do because it works everytime” - it doesn’t … it was really just an illustration of how much it irritates me

125

[quote]polo77j wrote:
I get that and every work environment is different. I don’t mean to seem like I was saying “this is what you should do because it works everytime” - it doesn’t … it was really just an illustration of how much it irritates me[/quote]

Oh, I know, I picked up on that. I’m in full agreement with you and on the same page…it’s what I definitely WISH I could do on a more frequent basis (call them out, that is).

126

[quote]Aero51 wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Tennis seems to be the new blood sport in my neighborhood. I can’t believe how many people are willing to get really nasty fighting over court time, flaming other people on the neighborhood list-serve, accusing other neighbors of being bullies, accusing the neighborhood coach of being unkind to women… Insert PC buzzwords on victim-hood here. On and on. It’s been a total soap opera. I hope it’s just a handful of aggressive ding dongs, because the lack of civility over something so stupid is ridiculous.[/quote]

Just wait until they all start sleeping with each other. That’s when the real fun begins. Our neighborhood used to be a constant party, but tennis was at the center of the universe for them. I didn’t play, I didn’t care to play.
“I lift, tennis is gay” was my attitude. But then people started screwing each other’s wives and husbands and the whole shit house went up in flames. No more parties, no more hanging out. I just keep to myself now. I don’t need their drama.[/quote]

Didn’t I give you this advice earlier? It isn’t cheating if you don’t get caught and it can be pretty fun and exciting.[/quote]

Well these people are obviously not as good at it as you are, they all got caught. Divorces ensued, people blamed each other, death threats… It was lovely.

127

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Aero51 wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Tennis seems to be the new blood sport in my neighborhood. I can’t believe how many people are willing to get really nasty fighting over court time, flaming other people on the neighborhood list-serve, accusing other neighbors of being bullies, accusing the neighborhood coach of being unkind to women… Insert PC buzzwords on victim-hood here. On and on. It’s been a total soap opera. I hope it’s just a handful of aggressive ding dongs, because the lack of civility over something so stupid is ridiculous.[/quote]

Just wait until they all start sleeping with each other. That’s when the real fun begins. Our neighborhood used to be a constant party, but tennis was at the center of the universe for them. I didn’t play, I didn’t care to play.
“I lift, tennis is gay” was my attitude. But then people started screwing each other’s wives and husbands and the whole shit house went up in flames. No more parties, no more hanging out. I just keep to myself now. I don’t need their drama.[/quote]

Didn’t I give you this advice earlier? It isn’t cheating if you don’t get caught and it can be pretty fun and exciting.[/quote]

Well these people are obviously not as good at it as you are, they all got caught. Divorces ensued, people blamed each other, death threats… It was lovely.[/quote]

WOW. Cheating at tennis usually involves someone insisting the ball wasn’t over the line. This is taking it to a whole new level. What a train wreck. I took tennis lessons a few years ago, just trying to be decent enough to play mixed doubles. I’m so terrible at it I finally gave up. Now I can feel like maybe we dodged a bullet.

128

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
It is interesting how some women will feel perfectly justified in ignoring or shutting down physical affection from their husbands, but they would never think of withholding physical affection from their kids. Weird how that works. There’s a total disconnect. [/quote]

That’s because it seems to me a lot of couples become parents who are married, rather than a married couple who are parents.

There is a difference
[/quote]

For sure.

This got me thinking about bonding both with our kids, which any mom can completely relate to, and bonding with our spouse. I teach my psychology students about oxytocin and how so much of what we think of as emotional behavior is related to our hormones. There’s a biology to it. Interesting that it’s really important in mother/baby bonding, but also in marital bonding and fidelity. I saw a study where men in relationships, when given oxytocin as a nasal spray, stood further away from an attractive woman. That’s cool, right? Like cuddling with your spouse helps insulate you from infidelity. It’s reinforced by a biological mechanism there. As relates to the issue Pat brought up, oxytocin it’s sometimes called the “love hormone.” If physical intimacy gives married people a hit of oxytocin, it’s more evidence that sex is “the glue.”

Just another thought here. I think we often assume that this stuff should be effortless when that’s rarely the case. Couples who have awesome food at home spend some time planning and shopping and preparing it. My hubs wishes I’d spend more time on this! People who are really organized, spend some time and mental energy on that. People who have a really great physique, or even just maintain their weight as they age, spend some time and mental energy on that.

Similarly, couples who are still HOT for each other, or have strong, healthy relationships after 10, 15, 20 years - They spend some time and mental energy on that. As far as taking advantage of oxytocin, you could do an experiment where you tried just climbing into bed together and spooning and talking a few times a week. Doing that naked would be better because there’s something magical about skin to skin contact for human bonding, and it’s a reminder that physical intimacy is the ONE thing that separates your marriage relationship from all the other relationships in your life. That alone would probably keep most couples from feeling physically disconnected. I think there’s some power in just saying “You know those couples who are still HOT for each other? Lets be like that.”

Anyway, those are my thoughts on it this morning. Problem solving this might be different for everybody, depending on how healthy the relationship is.

130

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Aero51 wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Tennis seems to be the new blood sport in my neighborhood. I can’t believe how many people are willing to get really nasty fighting over court time, flaming other people on the neighborhood list-serve, accusing other neighbors of being bullies, accusing the neighborhood coach of being unkind to women… Insert PC buzzwords on victim-hood here. On and on. It’s been a total soap opera. I hope it’s just a handful of aggressive ding dongs, because the lack of civility over something so stupid is ridiculous.[/quote]

Just wait until they all start sleeping with each other. That’s when the real fun begins. Our neighborhood used to be a constant party, but tennis was at the center of the universe for them. I didn’t play, I didn’t care to play.
“I lift, tennis is gay” was my attitude. But then people started screwing each other’s wives and husbands and the whole shit house went up in flames. No more parties, no more hanging out. I just keep to myself now. I don’t need their drama.[/quote]

Didn’t I give you this advice earlier? It isn’t cheating if you don’t get caught and it can be pretty fun and exciting.[/quote]

Well these people are obviously not as good at it as you are, they all got caught. Divorces ensued, people blamed each other, death threats… It was lovely.[/quote]

Read my book and you can be great too: 7 Steps to Losing that Pesky Wife and Taking Back Your Freedom!

131

[quote]Aero51 wrote:

Read my book and you can be great too: 7 Steps to Losing that Pesky Wife and Taking Back Your Freedom!
[/quote]

If I wanted to lose my wife, it would take about 2.5 seconds to do so. Freedom ain’t the same in your 40’s as it is in your 20’s. When you’re young, you have lots of options. when you are older, not so much and the options you do have, have baggage. Or you can be one of those old losers at a titty bar dumping hundreds of bucks on chicks you’ll never get.
Everybody I know who has ended up getting caught up in doing stupid shit end up miserable. No thanks.

132

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Aero51 wrote:

Read my book and you can be great too: 7 Steps to Losing that Pesky Wife and Taking Back Your Freedom!
[/quote]

If I wanted to lose my wife, it would take about 2.5 seconds to do so. Freedom ain’t the same in your 40’s as it is in your 20’s. When you’re young, you have lots of options. when you are older, not so much and the options you do have, have baggage. Or you can be one of those old losers at a titty bar dumping hundreds of bucks on chicks you’ll never get.
Everybody I know who has ended up getting caught up in doing stupid shit end up miserable. No thanks.
[/quote]

But it is buy one get one free this weekend only. And if you order now we can get you a free copy of: “Swagger: Lessons for White Boys” with your purchase!

133

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Aero51 wrote:

Read my book and you can be great too: 7 Steps to Losing that Pesky Wife and Taking Back Your Freedom!
[/quote]

If I wanted to lose my wife, it would take about 2.5 seconds to do so.
[/quote]

Damn son, have you tried thinking about baseball?

134

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

For sure.

This got me thinking about bonding both with our kids, which any mom can completely relate to, and bonding with our spouse. I teach my psychology students about oxytocin and how so much of what we think of as emotional behavior is related to our hormones. There’s a biology to it. Interesting that it’s really important in mother/baby bonding, but also in marital bonding and fidelity. I saw a study where men in relationships, when given oxytocin as a nasal spray, stood further away from an attractive woman. That’s cool, right? Like cuddling with your spouse helps insulate you from infidelity. It’s reinforced by a biological mechanism there. As relates to the issue Pat brought up, oxytocin it’s sometimes called the “love hormone.” If physical intimacy gives married people a hit of oxytocin, it’s more evidence that sex is “the glue.”

Just another thought here. I think we often assume that this stuff should be effortless when that’s rarely the case. Couples who have awesome food at home spend some time planning and shopping and preparing it. My hubs wishes I’d spend more time on this! People who are really organized, spend some time and mental energy on that. People who have a really great physique, or even just maintain their weight as they age, spend some time and mental energy on that.

Similarly, couples who are still HOT for each other, or have strong, healthy relationships after 10, 15, 20 years - They spend some time and mental energy on that. As far as taking advantage of oxytocin, you could do an experiment where you tried just climbing into bed together and spooning and talking a few times a week. Doing that naked would be better because there’s something magical about skin to skin contact for human bonding, and it’s a reminder that physical intimacy is the ONE thing that separates your marriage relationship from all the other relationships in your life. That alone would probably keep most couples from feeling physically disconnected. I think there’s some power in just saying “You know those couples who are still HOT for each other? Lets be like that.”

Anyway, those are my thoughts on it this morning. Problem solving this might be different for everybody, depending on how healthy the relationship is.
[/quote]

OUTSTANDING Post! When I read Pat’s original post the other day, I immediately thought of oxytocin! Your thought on “spending thought and mental energy on that” is SPOT ON. In our marriage that “responsibility” falls mainly on me. I don’t mean that she doesn’t care or doesn’t try, I just, for whatever reason, became the one who initiates most of our physical contact and spends that mental energy. I wasted some time harboring a little ill will about this fact, but I eventually just accepted that that’s the way it is, for us at least. There are other areas of our marriage where she does the heavy lifting, and all told, we make a good team.

136

[quote]Aero51 wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Aero51 wrote:

Read my book and you can be great too: 7 Steps to Losing that Pesky Wife and Taking Back Your Freedom!
[/quote]

If I wanted to lose my wife, it would take about 2.5 seconds to do so. Freedom ain’t the same in your 40’s as it is in your 20’s. When you’re young, you have lots of options. when you are older, not so much and the options you do have, have baggage. Or you can be one of those old losers at a titty bar dumping hundreds of bucks on chicks you’ll never get.
Everybody I know who has ended up getting caught up in doing stupid shit end up miserable. No thanks.
[/quote]

But it is buy one get one free this weekend only. And if you order now we can get you a free copy of: “Swagger: Lessons for White Boys” with your purchase!
[/quote]

LOL! Can I get: “Female beer goggles: How to make your dick seem bigger to her by shoving it in her ass” as a bonus?

137

[quote]Dr J wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

For sure.

This got me thinking about bonding both with our kids, which any mom can completely relate to, and bonding with our spouse. I teach my psychology students about oxytocin and how so much of what we think of as emotional behavior is related to our hormones. There’s a biology to it. Interesting that it’s really important in mother/baby bonding, but also in marital bonding and fidelity. I saw a study where men in relationships, when given oxytocin as a nasal spray, stood further away from an attractive woman. That’s cool, right? Like cuddling with your spouse helps insulate you from infidelity. It’s reinforced by a biological mechanism there. As relates to the issue Pat brought up, oxytocin it’s sometimes called the “love hormone.” If physical intimacy gives married people a hit of oxytocin, it’s more evidence that sex is “the glue.”

Just another thought here. I think we often assume that this stuff should be effortless when that’s rarely the case. Couples who have awesome food at home spend some time planning and shopping and preparing it. My hubs wishes I’d spend more time on this! People who are really organized, spend some time and mental energy on that. People who have a really great physique, or even just maintain their weight as they age, spend some time and mental energy on that.

Similarly, couples who are still HOT for each other, or have strong, healthy relationships after 10, 15, 20 years - They spend some time and mental energy on that. As far as taking advantage of oxytocin, you could do an experiment where you tried just climbing into bed together and spooning and talking a few times a week. Doing that naked would be better because there’s something magical about skin to skin contact for human bonding, and it’s a reminder that physical intimacy is the ONE thing that separates your marriage relationship from all the other relationships in your life. That alone would probably keep most couples from feeling physically disconnected. I think there’s some power in just saying “You know those couples who are still HOT for each other? Lets be like that.”

Anyway, those are my thoughts on it this morning. Problem solving this might be different for everybody, depending on how healthy the relationship is.
[/quote]

OUTSTANDING Post! When I read Pat’s original post the other day, I immediately thought of oxytocin! Your thought on “spending thought and mental energy on that” is SPOT ON. In our marriage that “responsibility” falls mainly on me. I don’t mean that she doesn’t care or doesn’t try, I just, for whatever reason, became the one who initiates most of our physical contact and spends that mental energy. I wasted some time harboring a little ill will about this fact, but I eventually just accepted that that’s the way it is, for us at least. There are other areas of our marriage where she does the heavy lifting, and all told, we make a good team.[/quote]

And here I am thinking oxycontin. The sex may not be better, but you won’t give a shit.

138

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
It is interesting how some women will feel perfectly justified in ignoring or shutting down physical affection from their husbands, but they would never think of withholding physical affection from their kids. Weird how that works. There’s a total disconnect. [/quote]

That’s because it seems to me a lot of couples become parents who are married, rather than a married couple who are parents.

There is a difference
[/quote]

For sure.

This got me thinking about bonding both with our kids, which any mom can completely relate to, and bonding with our spouse. I teach my psychology students about oxytocin and how so much of what we think of as emotional behavior is related to our hormones. There’s a biology to it. Interesting that it’s really important in mother/baby bonding, but also in marital bonding and fidelity. I saw a study where men in relationships, when given oxytocin as a nasal spray, stood further away from an attractive woman. That’s cool, right? Like cuddling with your spouse helps insulate you from infidelity. It’s reinforced by a biological mechanism there. As relates to the issue Pat brought up, oxytocin it’s sometimes called the “love hormone.” If physical intimacy gives married people a hit of oxytocin, it’s more evidence that sex is “the glue.”

Just another thought here. I think we often assume that this stuff should be effortless when that’s rarely the case. Couples who have awesome food at home spend some time planning and shopping and preparing it. My hubs wishes I’d spend more time on this! People who are really organized, spend some time and mental energy on that. People who have a really great physique, or even just maintain their weight as they age, spend some time and mental energy on that.

Similarly, couples who are still HOT for each other, or have strong, healthy relationships after 10, 15, 20 years - They spend some time and mental energy on that. As far as taking advantage of oxytocin, you could do an experiment where you tried just climbing into bed together and spooning and talking a few times a week. Doing that naked would be better because there’s something magical about skin to skin contact for human bonding, and it’s a reminder that physical intimacy is the ONE thing that separates your marriage relationship from all the other relationships in your life. That alone would probably keep most couples from feeling physically disconnected. I think there’s some power in just saying “You know those couples who are still HOT for each other? Lets be like that.”

Anyway, those are my thoughts on it this morning. Problem solving this might be different for everybody, depending on how healthy the relationship is.
[/quote]

I think Puff is going to eclipse Bonds’ record.[/quote]

Bond’s belongs in the HOF. Lot’s of guys did 'roids, but he was better than all of them, combined.

139

[quote]pat wrote:
And here I am thinking oxycontin. The sex may not be better, but you won’t give a shit.[/quote]

LOL

Oh, and pertaining to Puff’s suggestion of spooning naked - if my wife and I spoon naked, I WILL TRY to stick it in. Sorry, it’s just who I am.

140

About oxytocin - the hormone. Not oxycontin the opioid. LOL!!

I don’t know, but the idea of increased bonding speaks to me.

Pat your joke about not caring, reminded me of my plan to use marijuana to treat my PMS. Whenever I’m feeling bitchy my hubs can have a brownie so it doesn’t bother him. :slight_smile: I believe both you and Beans told me that this isn’t how it works.

You know, I was thinking about how the behavioral economists will tell you that one of the keys to happiness is lower expectations. I always dreamed about having a mortgage, a bunch of kids who need orthodontia, and a sex life that, on a scale of one to ten, was a good solid three. All my dreams have come true. See how that works? :slight_smile: