So ’ My hubby is such a horndog ’ is not a female humblebrag???
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
So ’ My hubby is such a horndog ’ is not a female humblebrag???[/quote]
Haha! Maybe, some people are pretty darn good at slipping in those humblebrags.
First world problems: I feel like I am pulling teeth trying to get anything from the dealership I ordered my car at. Had to call today and not take “I don’t think it is ready yet” to get a document dated a week ago.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
Here’s something that grind my gears big time. Pisses me off to no end. When you go somewhere like a party with your significant other and the girls all get together then the throw down a a major bitch session about how their bf/ fiance’s/ husband want to have sex all the time and its such a major sacrifice for them. That they are sooo desirable, but because their nice they take one for England to shut up their male partner. That sends me zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds.
My counter to this was to go all abstinence on them. I mean not even try. After a while, they started getting confused. Then they think there is something wrong with you. Then they start thinking there is something wrong with themselves. Then they’re saying shit like, “Do you like me?” and I respond “Sure I do.” Then a little while later, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?!”. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I don’t want to be one of those guys that push you for sex all the time and make you sacrifice. I don’t want sex to be a sacrifice. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine with me, we won’t.” “Where did you get that idea?!”
“Your mouth”.
Lesson to dudes, learn to control your sex drive and you’ll be much happier and you won’t get run over by women.[/quote]
This grinds my gears too, but probably for completely different reasons.
[/quote]
Do tell.[/quote]
Yes, do tell. Would like to hear a female perspective. [/quote]
Pat, I agree that it sounds pretty disloyal if you flip it around. I doubt most of the women would appreciate overhearing their husband laughing about her as he tells the other guys how she has no sex drive.
This is what gets me -
The idea that “men are horndogs” explains everything you need to know about how men think about sex is simplistic and immature, and it’s a potentially damaging perspective. I’d bet most girls hear a lot of this kind of thing from female relatives and family friends. I did. Still do. There’s a reason for these stereotypes. Then you add in the warnings about teenage pregnancy, avoiding STD’s, and about how “the boys are only after one thing - they will say anything to get in your pants.” That’s pretty much the gist of what I heard about sex.
Some of this is well-intentioned. There’s not much good that comes from promiscuity for women, especially in young girls, IMO. There has to be some healthy middle ground between what my daughter learns about sex by watching how Miley Cyrus acts in a some raunchy video, and hearing a bunch of crap from older women dismissing it with the “horndog” talk. Those are two unhealthy ends of the “what sex is” spectrum.
[/quote]
Ooooo, I hate Miley Cyrus. Every time she sticks her stupid tongue out, I want to slap her bottom jaw shut so she bites it off. Plus, she doesn’t have the body type for being a whore. She has what I call a ‘cute’ body which is different from the either ‘slutty’ or ‘hot’ body type. As a result, it looks very awkward for her to gyrate and do the moves she does. And her haircut is stupid and ugly, but I digress… 
I wish I had Push’s clapping hands. This is an excellent post and I appreciate your input.
And it is true that some men are horndogs or just flat pigs, however if you are in a relationship with one of these you should take the ‘out’ option.
I personally consider it an insult to be characterized that way even in jest because it’s the furthest thing from the truth. It’s such a weird complaint to me because these women act like they are above liking or even wanting sex and act like they have to lower themselves just to keep the man happy or to get him to shut up.
It’s dishonest in both directions. It’s dishonest about the man that all he wants to do is screw. And it’s dishonest about the woman that sex is dirty and she’s above all that, but she will take one for the team from time to time because she’s such a giving person that she will sacrafice her very body.
I have heard it not only just like joked about, but the conversation devolve and continue down this thread to the point where it’s practically character assassination of their significant other.
The irony is that when men are denied sex, we just shrug it off and go watch Sport Center or something. Women get REALLY offended if you deny them. The fact of the matter, though is that many of us are not ‘horndogs’ and we sometimes legitimately do not feel like it. We cannot just ‘take one for the team’ or fake it, our sexual mechanism is far more complicated. [/quote]
Pat, I don’t have all the answers that’s for sure, but I’ve learned some of this Men 101 stuff from my husband over the years. Also, my BFF is pretty insightful, and pragmatic about some of this. For example, she has a philosophy that in relationships where the man stops initiating intimacy, and the woman has to take on the aggressor role most of the time, things are usually turned upside down that way because the men get tired of being rejected. Not too many women want to be in that place. She and her husband have an agreement that they never say no to each other, unless someone is really sick or something. It’s pretty funny, because she’s so frank. There’s not a lot of elaborate seduction. She’ll just tell him “The kids have run me ragged today, so we need to have sex the minute the little monsters are in bed.” No being awkward or playing games. And he does the same thing to her. No hoping you can talk the other person into it - because your spouse is pretty much a sure thing. And they tend to move toward the other person, instead of turning away from during times of stress. They aren’t building up a bunch of resentment or rejection, or living in some sexless relationship where they have downgraded their marriage to roommate/co-parent status.
Some of the stuff you were talking about with women and skewed attitudes probably comes from past-generation awkwardness and some twisted ideas about sex. Hopefully most of us will do better talking to our own kids. Not only about the downsides of sex when you’re kids are too young, and the ways we don’t need to act like Miley Cyrus ;), but about the positive and healthy ways we should treat each other. That’s not taught in sex ed. It’s got to come through positive example and some open communication.
edited
[/quote]
Much appreciated Puff. Of course, we are talking things that grind our gears, so I do not want you to think I think all women are fucked in the head. Most of them maybe, but not all of them
You seem to have your shit strait. So your husband is a lucky man and I hope he realizes that.
Thanks again for your insight.
[quote]on edge wrote:
I don’t know if it’s all that complicated. Be a good lover and your girls sex drive will suddenly (miraculously) match yours.[/quote]
Oh really.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
So ’ My hubby is such a horndog ’ is not a female humblebrag???[/quote]
You’re on to something here. It’s a different way of saying “I am so irresistible”. That is of course until they start about how annoyed they are by the whole thing and the humility goes out the window and it’s just a brag that demeans other people. Don’t know the word for that.
“I am so irresistible that it bores me.”
[quote]daltron wrote:
First world problems: I feel like I am pulling teeth trying to get anything from the dealership I ordered my car at. Had to call today and not take “I don’t think it is ready yet” to get a document dated a week ago.[/quote]
I ordered a factory Jeep last year, they were basically useless at tracking it. I think that’s pretty normal.
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]daltron wrote:
First world problems: I feel like I am pulling teeth trying to get anything from the dealership I ordered my car at. Had to call today and not take “I don’t think it is ready yet” to get a document dated a week ago.[/quote]
I ordered a factory Jeep last year, they were basically useless at tracking it. I think that’s pretty normal. [/quote]
Oh, I have zero faith in any dealership. I made a contact at Ford and I do my tracking that way (as accurate as it can get) but to do that I first need my order number from the dealership which took over a week to get (even though they got it the same day I ordered the car…). I’m just hoping it gets here before Christmas!
[quote]pushharder wrote:
Puff is again knocking 'em outta the park![/quote]
Thanks, Push. I’m far from perfect and unfortunately I had to learn some of this the hard way. It seems like a lot of things in life are like that.
Thanks, Pat. The good news is it’s fixable, as long as both sides are open to working on it. And hey, Dr. Oz was doing a show about the new female viagra the other day. 
Seriously, I was reading an article in the paper about how divorced women are most likely to live in poverty as they age, particularly when they’ve been home raising kids for a lot of years. They are even more likely to experience poverty than widows. That seems like a pretty big motivation to want to reinforce and strengthen a marriage however you can.
It is interesting how some women will feel perfectly justified in ignoring or shutting down physical affection from their husbands, but they would never think of withholding physical affection from their kids. Weird how that works. There’s a total disconnect. Or, take their lack of sex drive as a “this is just the way it is, live with it” instead of thinking about “what can I do to try to fix that, since it’s causing some grief in my marriage.”
Tennis seems to be the new blood sport in my neighborhood. I can’t believe how many people are willing to get really nasty fighting over court time, flaming other people on the neighborhood list-serve, accusing other neighbors of being bullies, accusing the neighborhood coach of being unkind to women… Insert PC buzzwords on victim-hood here. On and on. It’s been a total soap opera. I hope it’s just a handful of aggressive ding dongs, because the lack of civility over something so stupid is ridiculous.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Tennis seems to be the new blood sport in my neighborhood. I can’t believe how many people are willing to get really nasty fighting over court time, flaming other people on the neighborhood list-serve, accusing other neighbors of being bullies, accusing the neighborhood coach of being unkind to women… Insert PC buzzwords on victim-hood here. On and on. It’s been a total soap opera. I hope it’s just a handful of aggressive ding dongs, because the lack of civility over something so stupid is ridiculous.[/quote]
Just wait until they all start sleeping with each other. That’s when the real fun begins. Our neighborhood used to be a constant party, but tennis was at the center of the universe for them. I didn’t play, I didn’t care to play.
“I lift, tennis is gay” was my attitude. But then people started screwing each other’s wives and husbands and the whole shit house went up in flames. No more parties, no more hanging out. I just keep to myself now. I don’t need their drama.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
It is interesting how some women will feel perfectly justified in ignoring or shutting down physical affection from their husbands, but they would never think of withholding physical affection from their kids. Weird how that works. There’s a total disconnect. [/quote]
That’s because it seems to me a lot of couples become parents who are married, rather than a married couple who are parents.
There is a difference
[quote]daltron wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]daltron wrote:
First world problems: I feel like I am pulling teeth trying to get anything from the dealership I ordered my car at. Had to call today and not take “I don’t think it is ready yet” to get a document dated a week ago.[/quote]
I ordered a factory Jeep last year, they were basically useless at tracking it. I think that’s pretty normal. [/quote]
Oh, I have zero faith in any dealership. I made a contact at Ford and I do my tracking that way (as accurate as it can get) but to do that I first need my order number from the dealership which took over a week to get (even though they got it the same day I ordered the car…). I’m just hoping it gets here before Christmas![/quote]
Lol, I hear ya.
[quote]on edge wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
Here’s something that grind my gears big time. Pisses me off to no end. When you go somewhere like a party with your significant other and the girls all get together then the throw down a a major bitch session about how their bf/ fiance’s/ husband want to have sex all the time and its such a major sacrifice for them. That they are sooo desirable, but because their nice they take one for England to shut up their male partner. That sends me zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds.
My counter to this was to go all abstinence on them. I mean not even try. After a while, they started getting confused. Then they think there is something wrong with you. Then they start thinking there is something wrong with themselves. Then they’re saying shit like, “Do you like me?” and I respond “Sure I do.” Then a little while later, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?!”. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I don’t want to be one of those guys that push you for sex all the time and make you sacrifice. I don’t want sex to be a sacrifice. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine with me, we won’t.” “Where did you get that idea?!”
“Your mouth”.
Lesson to dudes, learn to control your sex drive and you’ll be much happier and you won’t get run over by women.[/quote]
This grinds my gears too, but probably for completely different reasons.
[/quote]
Do tell.[/quote]
Yes, do tell. Would like to hear a female perspective. [/quote]
Pat, I agree that it sounds pretty disloyal if you flip it around. I doubt most of the women would appreciate overhearing their husband laughing about her as he tells the other guys how she has no sex drive.
This is what gets me -
The idea that “men are horndogs” explains everything you need to know about how men think about sex is simplistic and immature, and it’s a potentially damaging perspective. I’d bet most girls hear a lot of this kind of thing from female relatives and family friends. I did. Still do. There’s a reason for these stereotypes. Then you add in the warnings about teenage pregnancy, avoiding STD’s, and about how “the boys are only after one thing - they will say anything to get in your pants.” That’s pretty much the gist of what I heard about sex.
Some of this is well-intentioned. There’s not much good that comes from promiscuity for women, especially in young girls, IMO. There has to be some healthy middle ground between what my daughter learns about sex by watching how Miley Cyrus acts in a some raunchy video, and hearing a bunch of crap from older women dismissing it with the “horndog” talk. Those are two unhealthy ends of the “what sex is” spectrum.
[/quote]
Ooooo, I hate Miley Cyrus. Every time she sticks her stupid tongue out, I want to slap her bottom jaw shut so she bites it off. Plus, she doesn’t have the body type for being a whore. She has what I call a ‘cute’ body which is different from the either ‘slutty’ or ‘hot’ body type. As a result, it looks very awkward for her to gyrate and do the moves she does. And her haircut is stupid and ugly, but I digress…
I wish I had Push’s clapping hands. This is an excellent post and I appreciate your input.
And it is true that some men are horndogs or just flat pigs, however if you are in a relationship with one of these you should take the ‘out’ option.
I personally consider it an insult to be characterized that way even in jest because it’s the furthest thing from the truth. It’s such a weird complaint to me because these women act like they are above liking or even wanting sex and act like they have to lower themselves just to keep the man happy or to get him to shut up.
It’s dishonest in both directions. It’s dishonest about the man that all he wants to do is screw. And it’s dishonest about the woman that sex is dirty and she’s above all that, but she will take one for the team from time to time because she’s such a giving person that she will sacrafice her very body.
I have heard it not only just like joked about, but the conversation devolve and continue down this thread to the point where it’s practically character assassination of their significant other.
The irony is that when men are denied sex, we just shrug it off and go watch Sport Center or something. Women get REALLY offended if you deny them. The fact of the matter, though is that many of us are not ‘horndogs’ and we sometimes legitimately do not feel like it. We cannot just ‘take one for the team’ or fake it, our sexual mechanism is far more complicated. [/quote]
I don’t know if it’s all that complicated. Be a good lover and your girls sex drive will suddenly (miraculously) match yours.[/quote]
I agree with this, but also with Powerpuff’s posts. People get backed into their separate corners and somehow get entrenched there. The priority becomes winning the fight rather than winning the prize, which in my view is a warm, happy bed. Necessary to “warm and happy” are sex and intimacy.
But of course no one really knows what is needed to rekindle sex and intimacy once they’re disrupted. How does someone learn to “be a good lover” when his wife is denigrating sex with him to her friends? If they lack respect for one another, how are those regained so he CAN be a good lover?
I feel like basic PUA stuff probably applies here, but I’m not sure how.
[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
So ’ My hubby is such a horndog ’ is not a female humblebrag???[/quote]
You’re on to something here. It’s a different way of saying “I am so irresistible”. That is of course until they start about how annoyed they are by the whole thing and the humility goes out the window and it’s just a brag that demeans other people. Don’t know the word for that.
“I am so irresistible that it bores me.”[/quote]
I dunno. Em and PP make some strong points too.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
So ’ My hubby is such a horndog ’ is not a female humblebrag???[/quote]
You’re on to something here. It’s a different way of saying “I am so irresistible”. That is of course until they start about how annoyed they are by the whole thing and the humility goes out the window and it’s just a brag that demeans other people. Don’t know the word for that.
“I am so irresistible that it bores me.”[/quote]
I dunno. Em and PP make some strong points too. [/quote]
I think you’re right to an extent. “OMG, he won’t stop chasing me around the house! When am I supposed to do laundry??” seems like humblebrag to me, while “I’m so sick of him humping at me” sounds like broken marriage stuff.
I want to also add my voice to the chorus expressing that the thread title has grinded their gears. I don’t generally pay much attention to others’ grammar choices, but the title is just right up in your face with its wrongness.
[quote]daltron wrote:
[quote]Nards wrote:
Improper use of the past tense is what ground my gears today.[/quote]
Quoted for you since you missed it!
“Grinded” can be a past participle, although completely proper use of the word would be “ground”.[/quote]
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I want to also add my voice to the chorus expressing that the thread title has grinded their gears. I don’t generally pay much attention to others’ grammar choices, but the title is just right up in your face with its wrongness. [/quote]
Ha, just saw what you subtlety did. Nice lol.
I work in clinical research (drug development), and am on study calls all.the.time. The number one thing that grinds my gears on a daily basis: people (honestly, typically women) who cut each other off and repeatedly talk over each other during the call. It is truly infuriating. Everyone thinks that what they have to say is vastly more important than the other people on the call, and they interject so frequently and intensely that you can’t understand a word anyone is saying anyway. WTF is the deal with that?!?