[quote]pat wrote:
Here’s something that grind my gears big time. Pisses me off to no end. When you go somewhere like a party with your significant other and the girls all get together then the throw down a a major bitch session about how their bf/ fiance’s/ husband want to have sex all the time and its such a major sacrifice for them. That they are sooo desirable, but because their nice they take one for England to shut up their male partner. That sends me zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds.
My counter to this was to go all abstinence on them. I mean not even try. After a while, they started getting confused. Then they think there is something wrong with you. Then they start thinking there is something wrong with themselves. Then they’re saying shit like, “Do you like me?” and I respond “Sure I do.” Then a little while later, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?!”. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I don’t want to be one of those guys that push you for sex all the time and make you sacrifice. I don’t want sex to be a sacrifice. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine with me, we won’t.” “Where did you get that idea?!”
“Your mouth”.
Lesson to dudes, learn to control your sex drive and you’ll be much happier and you won’t get run over by women.[/quote]
Seriously? What, are you in your 20s? Sounds petty.
[quote]pat wrote:
Here’s something that grind my gears big time. Pisses me off to no end. When you go somewhere like a party with your significant other and the girls all get together then the throw down a a major bitch session about how their bf/ fiance’s/ husband want to have sex all the time and its such a major sacrifice for them. That they are sooo desirable, but because their nice they take one for England to shut up their male partner. That sends me zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds.
My counter to this was to go all abstinence on them. I mean not even try. After a while, they started getting confused. Then they think there is something wrong with you. Then they start thinking there is something wrong with themselves. Then they’re saying shit like, “Do you like me?” and I respond “Sure I do.” Then a little while later, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?!”. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I don’t want to be one of those guys that push you for sex all the time and make you sacrifice. I don’t want sex to be a sacrifice. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine with me, we won’t.” “Where did you get that idea?!”
“Your mouth”.
Lesson to dudes, learn to control your sex drive and you’ll be much happier and you won’t get run over by women.[/quote]
This grinds my gears too, but probably for completely different reasons.
[/quote]
Do tell.[/quote]
Yes, do tell. Would like to hear a female perspective.
[quote]pat wrote:
Here’s something that grind my gears big time. Pisses me off to no end. When you go somewhere like a party with your significant other and the girls all get together then the throw down a a major bitch session about how their bf/ fiance’s/ husband want to have sex all the time and its such a major sacrifice for them. That they are sooo desirable, but because their nice they take one for England to shut up their male partner. That sends me zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds.
My counter to this was to go all abstinence on them. I mean not even try. After a while, they started getting confused. Then they think there is something wrong with you. Then they start thinking there is something wrong with themselves. Then they’re saying shit like, “Do you like me?” and I respond “Sure I do.” Then a little while later, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?!”. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I don’t want to be one of those guys that push you for sex all the time and make you sacrifice. I don’t want sex to be a sacrifice. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine with me, we won’t.” “Where did you get that idea?!”
“Your mouth”.
Lesson to dudes, learn to control your sex drive and you’ll be much happier and you won’t get run over by women.[/quote]]
Why not just cheat on her?
[/quote]
Because it’s an asshole thing to do, that’s why.[/quote]
So? It would justify her position, what kind of woman wants to make a sacrifice by having sex with an asshole?
[quote]pat wrote:
Here’s something that grind my gears big time. Pisses me off to no end. When you go somewhere like a party with your significant other and the girls all get together then the throw down a a major bitch session about how their bf/ fiance’s/ husband want to have sex all the time and its such a major sacrifice for them. That they are sooo desirable, but because their nice they take one for England to shut up their male partner. That sends me zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds.
My counter to this was to go all abstinence on them. I mean not even try. After a while, they started getting confused. Then they think there is something wrong with you. Then they start thinking there is something wrong with themselves. Then they’re saying shit like, “Do you like me?” and I respond “Sure I do.” Then a little while later, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?!”. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I don’t want to be one of those guys that push you for sex all the time and make you sacrifice. I don’t want sex to be a sacrifice. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine with me, we won’t.” “Where did you get that idea?!”
“Your mouth”.
Lesson to dudes, learn to control your sex drive and you’ll be much happier and you won’t get run over by women.[/quote]]
Why not just cheat on her?
[/quote]
Because it’s an asshole thing to do, that’s why.[/quote]
So? It would justify her position, what kind of woman wants to make a sacrifice by having sex with an asshole?[/quote]
[quote]pat wrote:
Here’s something that grind my gears big time. Pisses me off to no end. When you go somewhere like a party with your significant other and the girls all get together then the throw down a a major bitch session about how their bf/ fiance’s/ husband want to have sex all the time and its such a major sacrifice for them. That they are sooo desirable, but because their nice they take one for England to shut up their male partner. That sends me zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds.
My counter to this was to go all abstinence on them. I mean not even try. After a while, they started getting confused. Then they think there is something wrong with you. Then they start thinking there is something wrong with themselves. Then they’re saying shit like, “Do you like me?” and I respond “Sure I do.” Then a little while later, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?!”. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I don’t want to be one of those guys that push you for sex all the time and make you sacrifice. I don’t want sex to be a sacrifice. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine with me, we won’t.” “Where did you get that idea?!”
“Your mouth”.
Lesson to dudes, learn to control your sex drive and you’ll be much happier and you won’t get run over by women.[/quote]
This grinds my gears too, but probably for completely different reasons.
[/quote]
Do tell.[/quote]
Yes, do tell. Would like to hear a female perspective. [/quote]
Pat, I agree that it sounds pretty disloyal if you flip it around. I doubt most of the women would appreciate overhearing their husband laughing about her as he tells the other guys how she has no sex drive.
This is what gets me -
The idea that “men are horndogs” explains everything you need to know about how men think about sex is simplistic and immature, and it’s a potentially damaging perspective. I’d bet most girls hear a lot of this kind of thing from female relatives and family friends. I did. Still do. There’s a reason for these stereotypes. Then you add in the warnings about teenage pregnancy, avoiding STD’s, and about how “the boys are only after one thing - they will say anything to get in your pants.” That’s pretty much the gist of what I heard about sex.
Some of this is well-intentioned. There’s not much good that comes from promiscuity for women, especially in young girls, IMO. There has to be some healthy middle ground between what my daughter learns about sex by watching how Miley Cyrus acts in a some raunchy video, and hearing a bunch of crap from older women dismissing it with the “horndog” talk. Those are two unhealthy ends of the “what sex is” spectrum.
Parents - both of them - should include some frank talk about how mature men think about sex, and what’s healthy in a marriage. For most adult men it’s going to be their preferred way to express closeness, affection, love, pair bonding, acceptance, and comfort. If you’re not feeling some of those things, or if you want more of those things in your marriage, then you should probably move toward more physical intimacy not away from it. In fact, reducing it to “men are horndogs” might ruin your marriage, or cause you to waste a lot of years with a really mediocre situation going on - years that you will never get back. The women saying this stuff aren’t doing the other women any favors.
It’s also damaging because it send the message that “this is normal”, instead of encouraging women to seek a medical reason for why their libido might be off, The Pill, for example. Or, look for psychological reasons why things have gone off the rails. I always wonder how many of these women are sedentary, or have serious body image issues. I want to say, "Maybe the way you think about sex isn’t accurate, or is stuck back in some pattern that may have served you well in high school, but you should seek counseling or at least read some decent books, because if your whole philosophy on sex is “men are horndogs” then you’re missing a lot of complexity.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
We were at our lawyer’s office yesterday talking about conservatorship for our daughter who’s turning 18. This is the process where you pay about $5000 so CA can appoint someone to drop into your home unannounced - like in an adoption - to see if you’re doing a good job taking care of the handicapped kid you’ve been taking care of everyday since birth. Then they appoint an attorney to represent her, and you get to go sit through a boring class, and read a best-selling book about how to be a good conservator, then you get to sit around in probate court all day. All for the privilege of having the state tell you that you can continue taking care of your own kid. [/quote]
Ouch, Texas is not that hard, we were able to do it with ours a lot easier. First though we got him SSI, in case something happened to us at least he would have income and health insurance (we still pay for his insurance). Then the state appointed an attorney, that basically checked us out and her X (who was in jail at the time) so we went to court once and we were done.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Trying to post using one of these new fangled little flip phones is pissing me off! [/quote]
Lol, damn I missed you around here man.
[quote]pat wrote:
Here’s something that grind my gears big time. Pisses me off to no end. When you go somewhere like a party with your significant other and the girls all get together then the throw down a a major bitch session about how their bf/ fiance’s/ husband want to have sex all the time and its such a major sacrifice for them. That they are sooo desirable, but because their nice they take one for England to shut up their male partner. That sends me zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds.
My counter to this was to go all abstinence on them. I mean not even try. After a while, they started getting confused. Then they think there is something wrong with you. Then they start thinking there is something wrong with themselves. Then they’re saying shit like, “Do you like me?” and I respond “Sure I do.” Then a little while later, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?!”. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I don’t want to be one of those guys that push you for sex all the time and make you sacrifice. I don’t want sex to be a sacrifice. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine with me, we won’t.” “Where did you get that idea?!”
“Your mouth”.
Lesson to dudes, learn to control your sex drive and you’ll be much happier and you won’t get run over by women.[/quote]
This grinds my gears too, but probably for completely different reasons.
[/quote]
Do tell.[/quote]
Yes, do tell. Would like to hear a female perspective. [/quote]
Pat, I agree that it sounds pretty disloyal if you flip it around. I doubt most of the women would appreciate overhearing their husband laughing about her as he tells the other guys how she has no sex drive.
This is what gets me -
The idea that “men are horndogs” explains everything you need to know about how men think about sex is simplistic and immature, and it’s a potentially damaging perspective. I’d bet most girls hear a lot of this kind of thing from female relatives and family friends. I did. Still do. There’s a reason for these stereotypes. Then you add in the warnings about teenage pregnancy, avoiding STD’s, and about how “the boys are only after one thing - they will say anything to get in your pants.” That’s pretty much the gist of what I heard about sex.
Some of this is well-intentioned. There’s not much good that comes from promiscuity for women, especially in young girls, IMO. There has to be some healthy middle ground between what my daughter learns about sex by watching how Miley Cyrus acts in a some raunchy video, and hearing a bunch of crap from older women dismissing it with the “horndog” talk. Those are two unhealthy ends of the “what sex is” spectrum.
[/quote]
Ooooo, I hate Miley Cyrus. Every time she sticks her stupid tongue out, I want to slap her bottom jaw shut so she bites it off. Plus, she doesn’t have the body type for being a whore. She has what I call a ‘cute’ body which is different from the either ‘slutty’ or ‘hot’ body type. As a result, it looks very awkward for her to gyrate and do the moves she does. And her haircut is stupid and ugly, but I digress…
I wish I had Push’s clapping hands. This is an excellent post and I appreciate your input.
And it is true that some men are horndogs or just flat pigs, however if you are in a relationship with one of these you should take the ‘out’ option.
I personally consider it an insult to be characterized that way even in jest because it’s the furthest thing from the truth. It’s such a weird complaint to me because these women act like they are above liking or even wanting sex and act like they have to lower themselves just to keep the man happy or to get him to shut up.
It’s dishonest in both directions. It’s dishonest about the man that all he wants to do is screw. And it’s dishonest about the woman that sex is dirty and she’s above all that, but she will take one for the team from time to time because she’s such a giving person that she will sacrafice her very body.
I have heard it not only just like joked about, but the conversation devolve and continue down this thread to the point where it’s practically character assassination of their significant other.
The irony is that when men are denied sex, we just shrug it off and go watch Sport Center or something. Women get REALLY offended if you deny them. The fact of the matter, though is that many of us are not ‘horndogs’ and we sometimes legitimately do not feel like it. We cannot just ‘take one for the team’ or fake it, our sexual mechanism is far more complicated.
So? It would justify her position, what kind of woman wants to make a sacrifice by having sex with an asshole?[/quote]
Okay, well you do what you do and I will do what I do. I don’t want to be an asshole. Just because a woman pisses me off does not mean I don’t love her.
I am wired different. I am not into random sex, friends with benefits or any other kind of shit like that. If I do not like you, I do not want to fuck you. I don’t care if their pussy shoots lightening, I just can’t do it.
Perhaps I am a lesbian trapped in a man’s body, I don’t know. Conquests aren’t for me and I am not a conquistador.
So you cheat on your women, and mow down as much pussy as you can. God help you if you have a daughter one day, though, because karma is a bitch.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
We were at our lawyer’s office yesterday talking about conservatorship for our daughter who’s turning 18. This is the process where you pay about $5000 so CA can appoint someone to drop into your home unannounced - like in an adoption - to see if you’re doing a good job taking care of the handicapped kid you’ve been taking care of everyday since birth. Then they appoint an attorney to represent her, and you get to go sit through a boring class, and read a best-selling book about how to be a good conservator, then you get to sit around in probate court all day. All for the privilege of having the state tell you that you can continue taking care of your own kid. [/quote]
Ouch, Texas is not that hard, we were able to do it with ours a lot easier. First though we got him SSI, in case something happened to us at least he would have income and health insurance (we still pay for his insurance). Then the state appointed an attorney, that basically checked us out and her X (who was in jail at the time) so we went to court once and we were done.
Seems a big pain in the ass but worth it Puff. [/quote]
Yeah, thanks Derek. I was wondering what it’s like in other states. We have thought about Texas if we ever relocate. I think it has a lot of things to recommend it.
[quote]pat wrote:
Here’s something that grind my gears big time. Pisses me off to no end. When you go somewhere like a party with your significant other and the girls all get together then the throw down a a major bitch session about how their bf/ fiance’s/ husband want to have sex all the time and its such a major sacrifice for them. That they are sooo desirable, but because their nice they take one for England to shut up their male partner. That sends me zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds.
My counter to this was to go all abstinence on them. I mean not even try. After a while, they started getting confused. Then they think there is something wrong with you. Then they start thinking there is something wrong with themselves. Then they’re saying shit like, “Do you like me?” and I respond “Sure I do.” Then a little while later, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?!”. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I don’t want to be one of those guys that push you for sex all the time and make you sacrifice. I don’t want sex to be a sacrifice. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine with me, we won’t.” “Where did you get that idea?!”
“Your mouth”.
Lesson to dudes, learn to control your sex drive and you’ll be much happier and you won’t get run over by women.[/quote]
This grinds my gears too, but probably for completely different reasons.
[/quote]
Do tell.[/quote]
Yes, do tell. Would like to hear a female perspective. [/quote]
Pat, I agree that it sounds pretty disloyal if you flip it around. I doubt most of the women would appreciate overhearing their husband laughing about her as he tells the other guys how she has no sex drive.
This is what gets me -
The idea that “men are horndogs” explains everything you need to know about how men think about sex is simplistic and immature, and it’s a potentially damaging perspective. I’d bet most girls hear a lot of this kind of thing from female relatives and family friends. I did. Still do. There’s a reason for these stereotypes. Then you add in the warnings about teenage pregnancy, avoiding STD’s, and about how “the boys are only after one thing - they will say anything to get in your pants.” That’s pretty much the gist of what I heard about sex.
Some of this is well-intentioned. There’s not much good that comes from promiscuity for women, especially in young girls, IMO. There has to be some healthy middle ground between what my daughter learns about sex by watching how Miley Cyrus acts in a some raunchy video, and hearing a bunch of crap from older women dismissing it with the “horndog” talk. Those are two unhealthy ends of the “what sex is” spectrum.
[/quote]
Ooooo, I hate Miley Cyrus. Every time she sticks her stupid tongue out, I want to slap her bottom jaw shut so she bites it off. Plus, she doesn’t have the body type for being a whore. She has what I call a ‘cute’ body which is different from the either ‘slutty’ or ‘hot’ body type. As a result, it looks very awkward for her to gyrate and do the moves she does. And her haircut is stupid and ugly, but I digress…
I wish I had Push’s clapping hands. This is an excellent post and I appreciate your input.
And it is true that some men are horndogs or just flat pigs, however if you are in a relationship with one of these you should take the ‘out’ option.
I personally consider it an insult to be characterized that way even in jest because it’s the furthest thing from the truth. It’s such a weird complaint to me because these women act like they are above liking or even wanting sex and act like they have to lower themselves just to keep the man happy or to get him to shut up.
It’s dishonest in both directions. It’s dishonest about the man that all he wants to do is screw. And it’s dishonest about the woman that sex is dirty and she’s above all that, but she will take one for the team from time to time because she’s such a giving person that she will sacrafice her very body.
I have heard it not only just like joked about, but the conversation devolve and continue down this thread to the point where it’s practically character assassination of their significant other.
The irony is that when men are denied sex, we just shrug it off and go watch Sport Center or something. Women get REALLY offended if you deny them. The fact of the matter, though is that many of us are not ‘horndogs’ and we sometimes legitimately do not feel like it. We cannot just ‘take one for the team’ or fake it, our sexual mechanism is far more complicated. [/quote]
Pat, I don’t have all the answers that’s for sure, but I’ve learned some of this Men 101 stuff from my husband over the years. Also, my BFF is pretty insightful, and pragmatic about some of this. For example, she has a philosophy that in relationships where the man stops initiating intimacy, and the woman has to take on the aggressor role most of the time, things are usually turned upside down that way because the men get tired of being rejected. Not too many women want to be in that place. She and her husband have an agreement that they never say no to each other, unless someone is really sick or something. It’s pretty funny, because she’s so frank. There’s not a lot of elaborate seduction. She’ll just tell him “The kids have run me ragged today, so we need to have sex the minute the little monsters are in bed.” No being awkward or playing games. And he does the same thing to her. No hoping you can talk the other person into it - because your spouse is pretty much a sure thing. And they tend to move toward the other person, instead of turning away from during times of stress. They aren’t building up a bunch of resentment or rejection, or living in some sexless relationship where they have downgraded their marriage to roommate/co-parent status.
Some of the stuff you were talking about with women and skewed attitudes probably comes from past-generation awkwardness and some twisted ideas about sex. Hopefully most of us will do better talking to our own kids. Not only about the downsides of sex when you’re kids are too young, and the ways we don’t need to act like Miley Cyrus ;), but about the positive and healthy ways we should treat each other. That’s not taught in sex ed. It’s got to come through positive example and some open communication.
[quote]pat wrote:
Here’s something that grind my gears big time. Pisses me off to no end. When you go somewhere like a party with your significant other and the girls all get together then the throw down a a major bitch session about how their bf/ fiance’s/ husband want to have sex all the time and its such a major sacrifice for them. That they are sooo desirable, but because their nice they take one for England to shut up their male partner. That sends me zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds.
My counter to this was to go all abstinence on them. I mean not even try. After a while, they started getting confused. Then they think there is something wrong with you. Then they start thinking there is something wrong with themselves. Then they’re saying shit like, “Do you like me?” and I respond “Sure I do.” Then a little while later, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?!”. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I don’t want to be one of those guys that push you for sex all the time and make you sacrifice. I don’t want sex to be a sacrifice. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine with me, we won’t.” “Where did you get that idea?!”
“Your mouth”.
Lesson to dudes, learn to control your sex drive and you’ll be much happier and you won’t get run over by women.[/quote]
This grinds my gears too, but probably for completely different reasons.
[/quote]
Do tell.[/quote]
Yes, do tell. Would like to hear a female perspective. [/quote]
Pat, I agree that it sounds pretty disloyal if you flip it around. I doubt most of the women would appreciate overhearing their husband laughing about her as he tells the other guys how she has no sex drive.
This is what gets me -
The idea that “men are horndogs” explains everything you need to know about how men think about sex is simplistic and immature, and it’s a potentially damaging perspective. I’d bet most girls hear a lot of this kind of thing from female relatives and family friends. I did. Still do. There’s a reason for these stereotypes. Then you add in the warnings about teenage pregnancy, avoiding STD’s, and about how “the boys are only after one thing - they will say anything to get in your pants.” That’s pretty much the gist of what I heard about sex.
Some of this is well-intentioned. There’s not much good that comes from promiscuity for women, especially in young girls, IMO. There has to be some healthy middle ground between what my daughter learns about sex by watching how Miley Cyrus acts in a some raunchy video, and hearing a bunch of crap from older women dismissing it with the “horndog” talk. Those are two unhealthy ends of the “what sex is” spectrum.
[/quote]
Ooooo, I hate Miley Cyrus. Every time she sticks her stupid tongue out, I want to slap her bottom jaw shut so she bites it off. Plus, she doesn’t have the body type for being a whore. She has what I call a ‘cute’ body which is different from the either ‘slutty’ or ‘hot’ body type. As a result, it looks very awkward for her to gyrate and do the moves she does. And her haircut is stupid and ugly, but I digress…
I wish I had Push’s clapping hands. This is an excellent post and I appreciate your input.
And it is true that some men are horndogs or just flat pigs, however if you are in a relationship with one of these you should take the ‘out’ option.
I personally consider it an insult to be characterized that way even in jest because it’s the furthest thing from the truth. It’s such a weird complaint to me because these women act like they are above liking or even wanting sex and act like they have to lower themselves just to keep the man happy or to get him to shut up.
It’s dishonest in both directions. It’s dishonest about the man that all he wants to do is screw. And it’s dishonest about the woman that sex is dirty and she’s above all that, but she will take one for the team from time to time because she’s such a giving person that she will sacrafice her very body.
I have heard it not only just like joked about, but the conversation devolve and continue down this thread to the point where it’s practically character assassination of their significant other.
The irony is that when men are denied sex, we just shrug it off and go watch Sport Center or something. Women get REALLY offended if you deny them. The fact of the matter, though is that many of us are not ‘horndogs’ and we sometimes legitimately do not feel like it. We cannot just ‘take one for the team’ or fake it, our sexual mechanism is far more complicated. [/quote]
I don’t know if it’s all that complicated. Be a good lover and your girls sex drive will suddenly (miraculously) match yours.
