[quote]four60 wrote:
[quote]I AM INVINCIBLE wrote:
Thread of the year.[/quote]
Gayest maybe…
Why is the OP jerking off in his avatar? [/quote]
You answered your own question lol. I guess the OP is what Tom Cruise is running from in every movie.
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
[quote]four60 wrote:
[quote]I AM INVINCIBLE wrote:
Thread of the year.[/quote]
Gayest maybe…
Why is the OP jerking off in his avatar? [/quote]
You answered your own question lol. I guess the OP is what Tom Cruise is running from in every movie.[/quote]
Hahaha ahhh good one.
[quote]digitalairair wrote:
I saw Mission Impossible 4 and it was awesome. fasted 2 hours of my life, which made me feel a lot older when I walked out of the theater.
I can’t get the image of Tom Cruise sprinting out of my head.
He runs fast as hell, and in the same way in every movie. But you don’t hear that criticized. You usually say, so and so acts the same in every movie. But you never hear so and so sprints the same way in every movie.
But that’s what I love about Tom Cruise.
If you run in such an idealized and perfect form, then you get the essential right to run the same every time. No matter what role Tom Cruise plays, when he runs, it’s his essential alter ego that lives through all of us that does the running.
Tom Cruise is the fastest man in Hollywood. It’s weird and surreal to see such a beautiful man with status like that sprint so fast. Usually you see ripped and wild black guys with thuggish nostrils in shorts sprint like that. You take it for granted that at top speed their expressions become distorted and tiny muscles on their faces go haywire.
But It breaks my heart to see Tom Cruise taking his dedicate playboy face to the limit as it stretches beyond its kinetic potentiality and design.
I can imagine his mother going: Tom, you are a good looking boy, be a model and an actor. And then he goes No! mom, I want to be a professional sprinter! And then his dad goes, OK Tom, you can sprint in Hollywood.
I wonder what his 40 yard dash time is.
Any takes?
Maybe we can put together all his sprinting montage from all the films he did and calculate/estimate it with the computer?
I am going to have a dream tonight:
It’s the Olympics. 100 meter dash is on. A black man beats all other black men by .1 second and I said, there we go again. And then still crossing the finish line, he rips of his face mask and then it is Tom Cruise inside! The Mission Impossible Theme comes on and washes through the stadium, as he receives a gold Academy Award statuette for winning the race.[/quote]
I couldn’t read this, but I gleaned that Tom Cruise is OP’s considerate gay lover, and gives him the reach-around every time.
I finally took the time to read a solid 3/4 of OP’s post. Lol awesome.
[quote]anonym wrote:
Manlet’s gonna man.[/quote]
HOOOOOOLLLY SHIIIIIIIIT! Is that real? He is fucking tiny! I mean we all knew that but Jeeesus…he’s so short he’d have to look up just to look down.
Oh shit I just remembered that he’s playing Jack Reacher. My mind had blocked that out.
This is not an idle threat…I will not see the Reacher movie. Well, maybe on HBO.
[quote]Nards wrote:
[quote]anonym wrote:
Manlet’s gonna man.[/quote]
HOOOOOOLLLY SHIIIIIIIIT! Is that real? He is fucking tiny! I mean we all knew that but Jeeesus…he’s so short he’d have to look up just to look down.[/quote]
Well, he DOES have one foot off the curb… and the perspective is probably fucked due to Holmes standing closer to the camera than him. And she is in heels.
But he is still most definitely a manlet. Fixing those things ain’t gonna add another foot to his height.
[quote]Nards wrote:
Oh shit I just remembered that he’s playing Jack Reacher. My mind had blocked that out.
This is not an idle threat…I will not see the Reacher movie. Well, maybe on HBO.[/quote]
Bah, if you can suspend your disbelief that a dirty, unkempt, middle-aged, not-entirely-attractive, homeless vagabond with (literally) bulletproof pecs manages to consistently bang the gratuitous dime pieces Child throws into every novel, you can certainly handle Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher.
NO I CAN’T!!!
FUCK! I never realized how small he was compared to Katie Holmes…
[quote]Rhino Jockey wrote:
FUCK! I never realized how small he was compared to Katie Holmes…[/quote]
HA, ok that 2nd pic must be a Photoshop.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]four60 wrote:
[quote]Rhino Jockey wrote:
FUCK! I never realized how small he was compared to Katie Holmes…[/quote]
HA, ok that 2nd pic must be a Photoshop.[/quote]
Either way, tell me you wouldn’t punch that sonuvabtitch right smack dab in the face…[/quote]
Can’t hit a Guy that short, it’s like child abuse… I’d fuck his wife and make him watch.
In the left hand picture Tom Cruise actually looks like a lesbian.
[quote]Nards wrote:
In the left hand picture Tom Cruise actually looks like a lesbian.[/quote]
OMMMMMMMMGGGG HERE IT COMES…
HAHAHHAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
[quote]Nards wrote:
Oh shit I just remembered that he’s playing Jack Reacher. My mind had blocked that out.
This is not an idle threat…I will not see the Reacher movie. Well, maybe on HBO.[/quote]
I thought that Reacher was like 6’5" 250lbs…and lil’ Cruise is gonna play him?
Fuuuuck that.