[quote]ALDurr wrote:
Varqanir wrote:
Damn, I skipped over this thread for the longest time because I had no idea what a shitstorm was raging inside of it. Guess it’s not too late to throw in my 2.34 yen.
Obviously, because I’m not black, Latino or Asian, there is no way I could ever pretend to understand exactly what it is like to have had the experiences of these groups, but living in the heart of Gangland, South Central LA, and then later living in rural Japan has, I think, given me a bit of an understanding of what it is like to be the object (I refuse to say “victim”) of racial prejudice and bigotry.
If you are a foreigner in Japan, whatever the color of your skin, many people automatically assume you are dirty, violent and stupid. Children stare at you, adults are wary of you and I have heard mothers tell their cranky toddlers that they had better behave or “that gaijin will eat you!”
Although I am a permanent resident who has lived here for a decade and a half, I still may not rent an apartment without a Japanese person personally vouching in writing for my good behavior.
Anyway, one of the things that used to really bug me about living here is at the heart of what is being discussed. When I first started to gain a little proficiency with Japanese, people would be so overly effusive in their praise I figured it couldn’t possible be genuine.
I also noticed they would compliment the fact that I could use chopsticks, or read Chinese characters, or eat various examples of Japanese cuisine without gagging. Not that I was an expert at any of this, but the fact that I showed any proficiency at all seemed to completely flabbergast them.
At first, I took offense at the obvious implication: “given that the non-Japanese is inherently stupid and barbaric, what an amazing thing to encounter one capable of displaying sufficient intelligence and culture to speak Japanese and use chopsticks!”
After a while, though, I realized that getting mad over such a trivial thing wasn’t doing anyone any favors. These days, if someone pays me a compliment, even one that could clearly be interpreted as rudely condescending, I just smile and thank them.
Once again, through your own experiences, you have summed up the frustration that many blacks in America feel. It is that uncertainty that we deal with every day that makes us question each white person’s intention. Especially when they have previously said some derogatory things about other blacks for whatever reasons they had.
Maybe if more American whites had these experiences, then posts like this wouldn’t happen. People would know whether a compliment was genuine and there would be no issues.
I have to say though, that the way you deal with it now by smiling and thanking them is how my parents, grandparents and ancestors had to deal with it during their respective eras. You really don’t have too much of a choice and neither did they. I was born, fortunately, on the tail-end of that era and am in a position to say something about it and call people on their bullshit.
I don’t believe all white people are like that. In fact, I believe that it is only a fraction of a very small percentage out there that are like that. On this board, we can only go by what people type.
Again, thank you for your clear and fresh perspective. Maybe someone besides me will actually listen to you.[/quote]
Both of these were good posts and show just how lacking in experience several of the posters in this thread have been. As far as just smiling and taking the compliment, did you think we handle it differently? Oh, I’ll smile simply because that is the correct way to act in society, however, the simple fact that I can walk into a room and speak the same way as the non-minority doctor who just left and get some sort of praise for being able to form sentences isn’t doing me any favors.
I have no doubt that experience will be glossed over by others because it enforces what we have been typing.
