Things That Piss You Off

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5255

My sister seems to be rather oblivious to money as well. She asked me for help recently, which I provided without any grumbling or asking about specifics, and then I learn that she’s also in the middle of a kitchen remodel and has a trip to California planned. Of course, she’s grown accustomed to asking for help and getting it, it’s just that our parents are no longer around to give it.

Even though I love my sister, people who can’t live within their means piss me off!.

On a related note, there seems to be an inverse relationship in my extended family between the appearance of wealth and the possession of wealth. The only multi-millionaires in the family project a bland middle-class lifestyle to the world. Driving 20 year-old cars, living in a 35 year-old modest home. No flashy clothes or jewelry. There’s hints here or there, but only if you know when you’re looking at a $20,000 banjo or a $6,000 fly fishing rod.

As my net worth continues to increase I, too, find myself looking much poorer than I did when I was broke.

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5257

This is something I’ve been struggling with academically. I’ve always been treated as the “little sister” and ppl are more than willing to help me

It’s quite the process to develop technical abilities, but I’m finding it harder to develop the self confidence.
The last few months have been quite empowering bc I’ve managed to do a couple of quite difficult assignments on my own and no longer need a friend for help with R

5258

Yeah it’s good to become more independent at your age. Build that habit now. Nearly all of my efforts with my 21 year-old stepson at the moment involve encouraging him to take on more responsibility and be more independent.

My sister is nearly 40 and married with two kids. She’s gotten a LOT of help over the years. But hey, I guess I can’t blame her. Being the youngest and the only girl has its advantages.

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5259

My wife grew up in Russia during the fall of the Soviet Union (which was the depression on steroids). People who grew up with no disposable income are sometimes worse at living within their means than people who grew up in affluent families where they had tons of disposable income. It seems counter intuitive at first perhaps, but actually makes lots of sense if you think about it. My wife knew how to live on the equivalent of $50 a month. When we got married and she realized that our income was literally hundreds of times more than that, it was initially incomprehensible that this didn’t mean we could buy anything we wanted. People who understand how to live on practically nothing don’t see the point of financial planning. It also difficult for them to understand the difference between upper middle class and multimillionaire.

At this point, we have both grown a lot and learned a lot and understand each other better. A huge turning point in this was telling my wife that she could spend whatever she wanted, but that she also had to be responsible for all of the bills. I am basically the sole earner and we have completely shared finances, so this wasn’t about who makes the money. The point was letting her see where all of the money goes and forcing her to plan for the bills and savings for the future and all of that. And I no longer worry about what my wife spent on clothing or boots or eating out or any of that. She had to plan for how to afford it. Obviously, it took a while to get to the point where we had the level of trust and competence to do this, but it has been great.

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5261

This situation sounds like my coworker. Every day he’s bitching about how his wife is spending money like a chimp in a beat-off contest. Of course, he does too, but that’s different to him. He’s 38 and his blood pressure was like 176/114 last week. Presently contemplating divorce, probably working on his 3rd Monster energy drink of the day right about now. 2 young kids.

I keep a pair of 26’s and 35’s at work along with tube bands. Me and another guy do 15 minute kettlebell workouts a few times per week. 30 seconds of varied movements, 30 seconds of swings, 30 seconds rest, repeat. I say “hey you want to swing the kettlebells today?” but he never does, not after trying it once. He instead spends money on a rower and elliptical that he doesn’t use.

Great guy to work with though. Hope he gets it all sorted out. Money matters sometimes matter more than just money.

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5262

It’s definitely rough at times. I’m fortunate that my wife was very motivated to learn and achieve goals. She reads a lot of financial planning books and earned a bachelor’s degree online and those have really helped her to reach a point where she can manage things.

But I’m serious when I said that it took a lot of growth from both of us. I grew up solidly middle class, but with a severe aversion to spending money. Learning to appreciate the nice things that my wife buys and not worrying at all about how much they cost has been a key for my sanity and state of mind. Of course, that is based on the fact that I am able to trust that my wife is both competent and dependable in regards to our finances. If that weren’t the case, I might be in a very different situation.

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5264

My wife and I calc’ed our monthly mortgage + bills. Each of us contributes half that number +$100 to a shared account which all our bills are paid from. We end up with around $2k savings added each year which pays for unforseen big expenses, while we each keep our own bank accounts separate.

If we didn’t do this, we would 100% fight about spending habits. And she is pretty good about not overspending.

Money issues are one of the biggest reasons for divorce and relationship problems, so we actively try to remove it from the equation. Most Americans don’t “get it”… So it’s not like your wife is alone in her habits.

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5266

Ever thought about splitting your paycheck in half, putting half in her separate account that has automatic withdrawals to another account just meant to pay bills? Basically find someway for her to take ownership of her finances and spending AND saving. By splitting your income halfsies, she has equal financial responsibility to pay bills, buy kid stuff, save for retirement, save for vacation/house upgrades, etc. This way it’s not views as allowance/stipend/spending money.

5268

What’s her justification for this latest spending spree? Some people have legit impulse control and a couple visits to the shrink might help give her some tools/strategies to wrangle those impulses.

Otherwise, vibes. I’d be extremely frustrated and pissed in your position.

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5269

What in the world is wrong with NYC, it’s like there’s a new rape or murder daily sheesh.
I’ve been seeing so many news articles lately. That’s messed up man….lol been to NYC twice… probably never stepping a foot in there again. City is overrated anyway….it smells like poop and there’s nothing special about the pizza. It tastes the same is NJ pizza.

5270

CDC: 24,576 homicides in 2020.
Which means 67.3 a day in a population of roughly 330 million.

NYC metro has roughly 20 million, so it would make sense that there would be, on average, a murder or 4 a day given its population and the rate of homicide in the US. Obviously there are a million confounding variables here but that many people that close together is always going to lead to some murders.

It smells awful and is loud af though, I’ll give you that, but the food (not just the pizza) and entertainment is fantastic.

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5271

I will admit, it’s quite nice being there during Christmas time.

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5272

I went in October and stayed close to Madison Square Garden. Had a great time overall but slept pretty much not at all from the noise/stench and left with a cold from hell. 3 stars.

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5274

I’m kind of in the middle on therapy, I’ve done it for about 1.5 years, in 2 distinct timeframes. Sometimes I find it very useful, sometimes I think I’m wasting hundreds of dollars to hear shit I already know.

With that being said, I always advocate for trying it at least for a bit, if economically feasible. I’ve definitely learned new ways to think and function that are been beneficial to me. I don’t know much about you or your wife’s situation but it’s probably worth a shot for her or both of you to try.

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5275

Sometimes glass glitters more than diamond because it has more to prove.

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5276

Sometimes, when you are used to wealth, you know what upgrades are worth it and what aren’t. Also, at a certain level you DONT want to draw attention.

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5277

I’m pissed that my kid is 21 and he still doesn’t quite get it when it comes to spending priorities, unfortunately. Things I get mocked by him about include…

My 6 year-old iphone that still works fine after the $40 battery swap.

The minor rust on the plain jane stock rims that came on my paid-off and low-mileage 2014 Toyota Tundra (I should buy nice rims, and big tires, and a lift!).

Lack of premium sound system in my fishing boat that isn’t paid off, but could be. There were great financing options last year, another byproduct of good credit from good financial management.

How lame my shoes are compared to his. My shoes, incidentally, are also paid off.

My lack of tattoos. For some reason he thinks I should get one, but I like my present budget of $0 for tattoos and body modifications.

He also recently admitted to spending $1,000 in one night at a Miami strip club with his friends. While I’m happy he’s comfortable discussing his more egregious behaviors with me, it wasn’t the best use of those funds for his future. He has absolutely zero regrets about that night, or at least none that he will admit to me. He earned the money, so…

The reason we have a fishing boat, money for travel, no financial stress and an inheritance for him is due to frugality and skill development, but I still think he’ll get this lesson at some point, possibly even sooner than I did.

Contrast basic frugality with my co-worker struggling with money, stress and blood pressure…

He complains about his wife’s spending but wants to buy a new Traeger Grill to replace his Traeger Grill.

He complains about his wife’s spending but wants to get into ammo reloading and build a new high-end carbine.

He complains about his wife’s spending but has a vast wardrobe of designer clothes.

He complains about his wife’s spending but he’s looking to buy a new truck to replace his new truck that he hauls or tows nothing with.

He complains about his wife’s spending but he brings massive amounts of very delicious and good-quality smoked meats in to feed his coworkers, not that I’m particularly complaining about that.

Like I said, great guy to work with. I really hope he figures things out for him and his family.

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5278

A good half of my team are 18-25 year olds who still live at home. The shit they spend money on just blows my mind.

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5279

I am really shocked when I see how frequently my classmates eat out, even when they have groceries in the fridge.

The hypocritical nature of your coworker is what would piss me off

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5280

When I worked the door I was constantly dumbfounded at the spending priorities of many of the regulars both young and old, but especially young. Now that my kid is 21 I’m seeing a lot of the same stuff in him and his friends. If I had to sum it up, I’d call it…

Flaunting your debt.

Nah. I point this out to him as well and he acknowledges it. He’ll be the first to tell you that he’s a stressed-out wreck right now. Besides, getting pissed at adult hypocrisy isn’t going to do anything positive for your workplace relationships. Workplace relationships are a very important part of financial security for most people.

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