No, but they are “smart” and are good at saying mean things about a specific group.
47%…
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I think we’re pretty much in agreement on this one to be honest.
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I’m not as old as any of you, and we all have had different life experiences so just popping in to share my opinion, as I’ve done before. And I tend to rant, so I apologize for the length.
As far as wellfare - my family has Medicaid. I’m not sure if that’s technically wellfare (I’m pretty sure it is). My dad has worked a full time job since age 16 (had me at 18) and has been at the same masonry company for probably the lasy 15 years or so. Maybe a little longer. My mom had me at 17 (dumb life choice right there, completely on her), went to college for a year or two after having me, but ended up not being able to pay for it and didn’t want to rack up insane debt, so she dropped out. Over the years, they have 4 more kids.
So we have my dad working a manual labor job, probably for the rest of his life, because it pays better than McDonalds and he has no college education. My mom has no college degree, so no “good” jobs are available, and getting a job at McDonalds or Walmart or something would not be enough money to offset the cost of daycare (2 of her 4 younger kids are too young for school), so it’s not really worth it. It’s not her being lazy, it’s just that most of the money would be gone right away anyway. My mom’s actually started going back to school, and now has her associates degree in like Gen. Studies (so nothing fancy at all) and is hoping to get her Bach.'s someday.
Anyway, we get Medicaid because we can’t afford other health insurance. And for about 15 years, my parents didn’t get anything from it, only us kids. My mom didn’t go to the dentist for my entire life because the $200+ it would cost to get a simple cleaning didn’t seem important enough for her, when she wanted to feed and clothe us. Neither has my dad. Crazily enough, neither has had any major dental issues - that could totally change.
Couple years ago, I’m 17 and my parents split up. Less income for us, since my dad needs to pay for his own housing, food, etc. Medicaid case now involves mom, but they say since I’m working, I need to now show my income. We do that, our coverage drops a TON. We consider saying I don’t live at the house anymore - my income no longer being present, it should go up right? Well no, now it’s seen as one less person in the house so we shouldn’t need as much help, right? It’s gonna suck either way. I end up telling my mom it’s ok to say I don’t live at the house, so that she and my siblings are able to afford new glasses and doctor’s visits when they get sick. I don’t get anything, and I don’t like lying, but in any other case my mom and these little kids would suffer from it.
Not an ideal situation, but it’s tough. When given a choice and told either option means you are still going to end up with less, it’s tough. When you can’t get a job because childcare costs as much as the job would pay, it’s tough. I’m not saying it’s an excuse, just that it really does suck.
My dad almost didn’t graduate high school, because he was in a weightlifting class his senior year. The class was compiled of a few Native males, a few white males, and some white females who were all athletes. The teacher, white, gave the athletes A+'s, the white males A+'s, and my dad and his other Native friends, who were pretty pumped to have access to weights for the first time and wanted to get big, failing grades. He announced the grades in front of everyone in the class and laughed when he got to my dad and the others. My dad didn’t have a great GPA, since he worked 4pm-12am nightly and didn’t care enough about school to prioritize it more. No one he knew had gone to college, so him going was unimaginable and all that left was working harder than anyone else and making more money, right? So anyway, failing that class would’ve meant he couldn’t graduate. He angrily left the school, didn’t go back for a few days (this was like 1 week before graduation). My mom’s mom, who had been involved in our town’s education system for a long time, was able to talk to some higher up people and change the grade, because I mean really, who the hell could fail a PE class? But he luckily graduated.
My mom’s dad, who was drafted to Vietnam and went, came back with PTSD and depression and shot himself in the head in a field outside of town. My grandma had to indentify the body. Out of their 5 kids, the 2 boys were heavy drinkers (and now, imo, alcholics by ages 15) and one is also an opoid addict. The oldest girl did well in life, never had substance issues, been in a stable marriage, etc. My mom, besides having me so young and being pretty broke, has been awesome, honestly. Never once used anything, very great mom, good wife, just a good person. The last girl was on meth by age 14 (it wasn’t quite known how bad it was when she started, which may be why it was so young), in and out of rehab her teen years, in and out of abusive relationships her 20’s and early 30’s…she’s calmed down now and is doing better but she’s got a lot of emotional issues. So out of 5 kids…1 with anger issues and alcoholism, 1 with men issues and drug addiction, 1 with a teen pregnancy, 1 with alcoholism and drug addiction. Their mom was hardworking (to a fault, she was absent a lot), came from a good family, and did her best. But the majority of her kids have left a lot to be desired. I mean, I love them, but they’re not success stories. Only 2 of the 5 have “careers.”
My dad’s dad died when he was 8 I think. His mom worked road construction and 3 times over the course of his childhood he was told she had died at work, and been driven an hour to the hospital, sobbing, thinking his mom was dead. She never was, just had been hurt, so how that miscommunication happened I don’t know, haha. Was abandoned by her around age 12 for a few years, got into substance abuse early on, was abused by his step dad, watched his 2 half sisters become meth addicts, 1 of whom is clean and doing well now, the other we assume will be dead in a year. Literally ALL, and I really mean ALL, of the women in his family have been raped. Mom, sisters, aunts, cousins. EVERYONE. Black women get raped at an incredible rate, but I’m pretty sure Native women are raped at 4-5 times the national average, by a wide racial mixture of men. He witnessed people get murdered, beaten, OD, etc.
I would consider myself doing pretty good considering the circumstances. I was expelled from my high school, but finished my remaining class on my own within 2 months. I am going to college, I have held down 1 job since I was 12, and usually 1-2 others. I haven’t had a kid yet, I haven’t become an addict, I am making smart financial moves, I generally try to keep myself fairly healthy, etc. I credit it all to my mom. If she wasn’t the sober, stable, loving, amazing woman she is, I completely think I would be not going to college, an addict, a teen father, or a mixture of all 3. So many broken, messed up people in my life, that if it was not for her I would not be who I am today. My mom didn’t have her dad, and her mom is great too, but she can’t remember the last time her mom gave her a hug or said I love you. She’s quite bad with emotions and making people feel loved. My dad didn’t have his dad, and his mom, while he loved her, didn’t treat him well. She got better once she broke up with his step dad and got sober, but she soon died from cancer after that, so they didn’t get much time to repairs any wounds.
So I’m completely agreeing with @Frank_C on this one - it completely comes down to:
I really see other solution. Have I been on wellfare and does my family continue to use it? Yes, but I don’t think we use it as a crutch. Maybe others disagree, but it’s not for a lack of being willing to work.
My parents expect things from me. My dad would literally be disgusted with me if I wasn’t willing to work. Half of my friends have never had jobs, and I don’t get it. If I had a kid tomorrow, his number one concern would not be “How are you going to do it?” it would be “You’re still working right?” Not because he wouldn’t care, but because in his mind, as a man, you NEED to work. And I totally agree with it, and think that’s a very real issue with people, especially in America today. My mom would kill me if I ever started using or treated a woman badly. I don’t really have much of an issue with pot, but I think if more people drank less alcohol, abused less drugs, treated women well, and worked hard, it’d pretty much solve all of our issues. A bunch of sober, hardworking men, and women who haven’t been traumatized to go along with it? Sounds awesome to me.
I’m in the situation where I suppose I lean liberal when it comes to wellfare, racial issues, etc. I don’t think I can really avoid it - I don’t hate white men (I’m half white!) or blame them for the world’s issues, but I do think white people will never fully understand what it could feel like to be brown/black in some places of the world. I’m not excusing gang members and criminals, just saying, sometimes you can’t get it. Same with women - I’ve literally never once felt uncomfortable walking outside at night, even in big cites or on the rez, and the fact that that’s something women need to be cautious about is horrible. I can see the issue, but I will never understand how it feels.
In other cases, I’m more “conservative.” I’m pretty traditional, I’m a Christian (something else I personally credit for my current place in life).
Anyways, I’m just going to reiterate this:
It’s not groundbreaking or new, but it’s the truth in my opinion. For all the crap I’ve seen and been through, and the worse crap my parents have seen and went through, I don’t think anything will fix the issue as much as healthy familes. Nothing. Money’s great, and I sure wish we had more growing up, but I would’ve rather had a sober dad. Less trauma.
Again, sorry for the length, but I just like to share my experiences, as I feel I tend to see both sides pretty well.
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Thanks for sharing. I could go through and interject my initial reactions to some of that, but the only thing that really matters is the present and the future. That past is over so judging any of that is a waste of energy and is typically only negative (hence the term judge).
My wife had an uncle who thought it would be cool to sit down at the dinner table and shoot himself in the head in front of his wife and two kids. The girl ended up becoming a prostitute and was found murdered and wrapped in a trash bag outside of town. The boy became a drug addict and career criminal. What kind of monster does that to his kids?
I agree that we’re not in control of everything around us. We’re not even in control of our own lives as kids, but there’s free will inside all of us. I was spoiled and loved and I had it easy. I had friends who had the same thing and still pissed it all away.
Your family history is awful, and yet here you are, winning at life. Your mom’s way of living produced you. And your life can produce another generation of positive outcomes. And that can continue on and on.
My pastor at church has a huge family and most of them are involved in ministry. It all started with his grandma or great grandma (can’t quite remember). She came from a non-believing home and somehow found Christ. Her husband didn’t even accept it until the end of his life. But she single handedly changed the future for her family and thousands of others in the world due to their ministry. My pastor is the head of a church that regularly sees 4000 to 6000 people every weekend. It takes over 800 volunteers each weekend to make things run smoothly. Think of the number of people that have been saved by my pastor. And then think of his relatives who are doing the same thing. And it all goes back to one woman who changed their family pattern.
Thanks again for sharing and keep up the good work!
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I too hate it when someone takes a good chunk of their free time (for minimal payback) to help me achieve something I want.
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Do you know how disrespectful what you have done here is?
Just because you get over your little children tantrum and decide to delete your post, doesnt mean they dissapear.
Lesson kid, what you say and write on the internet is real life. Real life consequences, and just like anything, if you say something you must own what you say.
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People who socially accept its ok to drink yourself to death every Friday evenings but if you pin testosterone people are like: bro, you shouldn’t do that, you gonna die and catch deadly diseasezzzz
I thought steroids where cheating?
Where you under the impression people binge drink for health reasons?
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I know I do … I fucking hate being healthy. People asking you to help them move on the weekends as the ass crack of dawn because they know you’ve already been up for 2 hours eating breakfast and getting a workout in … it’s fuckin terribly inconvenient
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It’s rude, sure, but honestly, literally every single kid I went to school with got annoyed when their parents began teaching them how to drive. I sure did, and my dad was the same - yelled at me for not being an expert driver within minutes. It annoyed me at the time, but it was short-lived and in the past.
Absolutely. Most people could use this reminder.
But I’d take it easy on the guy. Just because he ignores peoples’ training advice and can’t figure out girls doesn’t mean every post of his needs to be criticized.
Some of us older folks (I’m in the early stages of that category) grew up in a time where you respected your parents, elders, and anyone else in a position of authority. It seems that kids these days don’t even understand what authority is, or that it’s a necessary part of life.
I’m guessing this struck a nerve with @anon96032531. I know I’m tired of seeing the way kids behave these days. I’m not saying that everyone sucks, but the overwhelming majority seem to think they deserve certain things without earning them. It’s just like the crap you see with the training questions.
I’ve thought I was a big deal at several stages in my life. In 8th grade, you’re the kind of the junior high school and feel super cool. The same thing happens in 12th grade, but your 12th grade self will laugh at the 8th grade version of you.
This continues. I turned 18 and thought I was all smart and grown up. By the time I was 23 I realized my 18 year old self was still a child. I’ll be 35 this month, and I see my 23 year old self as young and naïve.
If you think you have all of the answers for life and don’t need help, then you’re a fool.
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Posted awhile back about someone coming in and wanting to start a 24/7 gym (which is great) in direct competition with ours, I was pissed, not because it is another business (I’m all for capitalism, competition, and growth, even if it is forced) but because people didn’t understand why I couldn’t match prices, hours, offerings, etc., (the individual is having it entirely financed by a very well to do father).
That’s the background, anyway!
Turns out that this gym actually is happening here in town, I now get to field all sorts of questions about, “What are you going to do? How are you going to compete with the hours and prices? What is your response (business wise) going to be?” Well, fuck me! I don’t know! We are outfitted well, we have excellent customer service, but we simply can’t do the hours people say they want.
I’m not even pissed anymore, now it’s more of a chuckle, because they’re going to be flush for 6 months, probably hang around for at least a year (based solely on ol’ pops paying all the bills) but people will dry up, just like any other gym, the only reason we’re still in business is because we are attached to a PT/OT clinic and are subsidized by them on months that I can’t get us to even or slightly ahead. Also to add to the chuckle, the individual that is starting it is absolutely convinced that Nike was offering her a sponsorship at some point (she is 20ish) does not compete in anything, and has no real reason to be sponsored, but she guarantees it was the real Nike, real excited to hear about her training people over there and see how well that goes.
TL:DR - Direct competition coming to a tiny town, fielding questions from uninformed people that refuse to understand how insurance/liability/ and potential lawsuits work, get told I’m not trying hard enough 
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That’s fine if it did, and I completely agree with you. I simply just believe that as far as this specific situation goes, getting annoyed at the dad isn’t the worst thing. I live in a farming community, and would venture to guess that a lot of families (as least from what I can tell) still abide by
I still totally agree with that. I’ve not always followed it, haha, but I recognize when I’m not doing it and later looking back, think that 99.9% of the time I was wrong to act that way.
I would whoeheartedly agree with this. The guys I was best friends with growing up came from the aforementioned “farm” families, even if they didn’t actually farm they were more like that sterotype, and something I learned from my parents was a work ethic and my friends did too, but most of our peers would get their panties in a twist over not getting their time in a football game, not getting the grades they wanted, not getting a brand new car when they turned 15…it’s ridiculous and embarrassing, unfortunately enough people act like it that they don’t feel embarrassed.
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When I was actually a trainer or “performance coach”, we had a PT business, too. It paid all the bills. After I left the company, the owner downsized, the PT opened his own place, and soon after the training business closed for good.
It’s almost comical how a business that has such a high degree of need actually struggles. People need to exercise and eat right, but they don’t. Your financial position might change if we could convince health insurance to pay for gym services.
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Yeah it’s crazy, very lucky to be subsidized by a good clinic, for sure! Otherwise I’d be working 2 jobs just to work part time here 
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I have no idea what she’s talking about or what it means, lol, but when I was 21 and working in gyms we got a lot of free shoes. It seems quite a stretch to call that “sponsored” but the big athletic shoe companies were definitely doing product placement with us.
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Why so? Food businesses struggle every day. People need to eat.
People don’t necessarily need someone to teach them how to eat and exercise, certainly not to the level that keeps their health markers in check.
I didn’t mean that people needed coaches and trainers. They need to exercise and commercial gyms provide a comfortable environment for that.
And in the US, two thirds of the population is overweight. Americans aren’t exercising or paying attention to their food. There’s a need. People just ignore it and then treat the adverse symptoms with prescription drugs.
So, I belong to two gyms. One is Planet Fitness. At $20 per month for the black membership, it’s too cheap to not belong - 24 hour access, every gym in the country, tanning (yikes) and massages, and bring a partner.
But I lift at my muscle head gym - it has power racks, barbells, and the things I want. I pay $360 per year for that gym, up front, to lower my cost.
I can do without Planet Fitness, but I couldn’t do without the other.
Food for thought.
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