When I first got married, a bunch of us (including my wife) went out to a Buffalo Wild Wings to get some (shitty) wings and watch some baseball. Our waitress was an old girlfriend of mine. Totally wasn’t awkward for me. Coincidentally, now that I remember it, when I first started dating my wife, we went out with some friends to a classier joint than B-Dubs and we were served by the same ex-gf.
I get a warm (schadenfreude) feeling thinking about how she went from serving at a decent joint to B-Dubs in the matter of a couple years. She was a cunt. Not sure if she’s nicer now, but back when I dated her. Total cunt. Anyway, I can see how it would be awkward, but that wasn’t my experience.
My wife is well aware of my former ways, which were slightly over-the-top, made worse from mild PTSD and living in a vacation town known for women trips. Women on women trips sleep around. A lot. I am objectively a pretty boy, tall, and very fit. And not unintelligent.
So the usual scenario is, I am walking in mid-town and some lady from Lubbock I slept with 5 years ago is back in town on a ladies’ trip. She runs over and gives me a hug and a suggestive pat on the ass.
My wife (who I met when she was on a ladies ski trip) knows the drill. I politely disentangle myself.
My children ask “why did that lady with the big boobies pat Daddy on his bottom?” (an actual question that occurred).
So, there you go. Sins of the past affecting children. Much more uncomfortable.
-when has beens tell me “I could bench 300 back in the day” (I’m super conservative, and have a hard time bragging, but at the same time want to tell them how little that means to me, so I kind of blankly stare at them)
-guys who look like they’re about to eat the fucking tire off a bus while they lift. It’s okay. No one is going to steal your gains.
-“enjoy your meal” “yeah, you too”
-eye contact in general.
-when whoever my current lifting partner is, tries to get all personal in the gym.
-meeting people. I don’t care for sports, which I’ve determined is really the only ice breaker after 25.
This bugs me. I hate it when I get a dead fish handshake from someone … my brother-in-law does this shit. Total limp wrist dead fish all fingers - like who are you, bro, Queen Victoria?
“When in doubt, hug it out” is my motto. It’s led to some awkward situations - which I welcome.
“When in doubt, excite it out” is my motto. Of course that means a raging hard on, which has led to some awkward situations - which I welcome whole hard-edly (I’ll show myself out)
Yes! Especially the hugging! OMG. When sister passed away last fall, and my dad last month. Too many hugs! I appreciate that they are trying to be nice, but all that hugging I would never say anything, but jeez it makes me uncomfortable!
Want to get out of hugs? Earn a reputation of being a long hugger.
Just hold onto that hug just a wee bit too long - works wonders … or whisper how nice their hair smells in their ear as they lean in AND hold on a wee bit too long. Magic. You’re welcome.
I can’t stand hugging people who are not my family.
The alternative to being a long-hugger is a close talker. I can’t stand close talkers, but practice being one around huggers. It makes them step back and not hug you.
I have dislocated my right shoulder 6 times and tore the labrum, I have ruptured my ACL and torn my meniscus at the same time, I’ve split open my eyebrow from a headbutt while fighting, I’ve ripped open calluses on my hands, flushed them out with hand sanitizer and glued them back together. All of this was “fine”.
But if anything ends up sliding under my fingernails, I feel like I’m going to vomit. Just gives me the willies.
Also, f**k bees man. Flying is fine, and stinging is fine, but you shouldn’t be allowed both.
I would never say anything, but jeez it makes me uncomfortable!