Things I'm Sick Of In Movies

[quote]jaybvee wrote:
Read through all 15 pages of replies but no one has yet mentioned this:

His star has waned but seriously, why does he have a running scene in (almost) every movie?

[/quote]

Because so many of you love Family Guy:

When someone dies with their eyes open, someone always comes along and does that facepalm thing to the body to close the eyes.

Robot/ cybernetic parts: when robot parts are covered in synthetic skin, they are silent, but when the parts are exposed, even if only barely visible, you always hear that annoying whirry, mechanical sound.

^^Good ones!

In a Bond movie or ones like it…no matter how physically incapable the evil mastermind is and how huge and strong his main henchman is…the main henchman must die first, then the big bad guy.
And of course all the disposable bad guys that were there die before both of them…you can’t have these faceless goons last longer than the nut who pays them.

I’m currently watching The Thing and I notice that in many movies with aliens they will go the whole movie and never say the word “alien” or anything close to it. I guess they don’t want to sound hokey or something.
Also, if the analyze the atomic structure of any alien artifacts they always have to be made from elements that no scientist has even heard of. I find that a little weird. Not that aliens could make different metals, but that they even have different, unknown elements.

Someone (protagonist or antagonist) is throwing knives/shurikens/other sharp objects in combat. One of these objects MUST hit a wooden panel and make a BOINGGGGGG noise right next to someone’s surprised/horrified face.

How bad guys with smgs and assault rifles are always shit shots. It’s like an unspoken rule you must ‘fire from the hip’ and spray the entire room/forest/train/street with hundreds of bullets and not actually hit any flesh.

When guys do stupid things in relationships like, nows the time to hug her and say something meaningful but instead they say something stupid and fuck it up.

or when the main character does the cute but inexperienced chick when he could’ve been doing the cock hungry babe.

[quote]Swolegasm wrote:
When guys do stupid things in relationships like, nows the time to hug her and say something meaningful but instead they say something stupid and fuck it up.

or when the main character does the cute but inexperienced chick when he could’ve been doing the cock hungry babe. [/quote]

So you uh watch a lot of romantic comedies huh?

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Swolegasm wrote:
When guys do stupid things in relationships like, nows the time to hug her and say something meaningful but instead they say something stupid and fuck it up.

or when the main character does the cute but inexperienced chick when he could’ve been doing the cock hungry babe. [/quote]

So you uh watch a lot of romantic comedies huh? [/quote]

well i was actually talking bout stuff i saw on pornhub.

[quote]Swolegasm wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Swolegasm wrote:
When guys do stupid things in relationships like, nows the time to hug her and say something meaningful but instead they say something stupid and fuck it up.

or when the main character does the cute but inexperienced chick when he could’ve been doing the cock hungry babe. [/quote]

So you uh watch a lot of romantic comedies huh? [/quote]

well i was actually talking bout stuff i saw on pornhub.[/quote]

Hahahahahahahahahaahaha good one :slight_smile:

Some of these may have been mentioned before, but these things give me a major case of the rants.

  1. The brakes on every automobile squeel/shriek when the vehicle comes to a stock, not matter how new the car is.

  2. Every car sounds like it has a super huge engine, nothing like in real life for some reason.

  3. fucking cats jumping out of everywhere in scary movies…its not scary just predictable

  4. When the bad guy shows up in a mirror in a scary movie…or when you expect him to and he doesn’t but pops in the next scene

  5. in zombie movies the slow rambling or highly crazed zombies can sneak around like ninjas and jump out of nowhere. you would smell them long before they got that close anyway, never mind hearing them.

  6. in action movies when they jump from explosions, that shit would kill you dead.

  7. more action movie bullshit…people fall 20ft and knock themselves out but get up and run. your legs would be broken.

  8. Car accidents don’t kill people, it only gives them bloody cuts on their head.

  9. Getting shot only slows people down, not killing them. shoulders and legs etc.

  10. stab wounds are instantly fatal, even though it’s only the stomach.

  11. in zombie movies when someone gets bitten and no one just states the obvious that it’s fucking zombies and they keep that person around until he/she changes and bites someone. are you all fucking retarded? have you watch a movie in the last decade? everyone know the bites are contagious

  12. no matter how young, old or feeble, everyone can hang from the edge of something for infinite amount of time before the hero saves them. i’m looking at you spider man. fuck you aunt may holding an umbrella.

  13. car doors are impervious to bullets.

  14. in medieval times, armor is useless and people die from single stab wounds. in real life you would have to hack away at the person to penetrate the armor.

  15. crime investigations where a single piece of sand or some other circumstantial evidence bullshit is enough to make people confess, even though they would get off scott free without the confession.

  16. People/fighters who take insane punishment and come back to win (not including rocky IV the best movie of all time). you took 36 kicks to the face, you’re dead, not fighting back and then screwing some chick after the fight because she loves your cock now that you beat up her former boyfriend or something.

  17. generic white/black/asian/retard in a movie. we get it already.

  18. drug dealers who kill everyone that works for them no matter how little a mistake they make. no one would work for you asshole. didn’t get my mail, dead. didnt kill the unstoppable good guy…also dead.

  19. cars that are drivable after insane accidents and all smashed up. no working radiator, no problem.

  20. in gunfights people always throw away their magazines.

  21. families all sitting around eating breakfast in the morning and drinking coffee and reading the paper like they have all the time in the world.

edited…rocky 4 not 5.

Scenes in superhero movies where the hero is sitting on top or near the top of an apartment building and some random kid pops their head out and says "hey, aren’t you ________? (insert name of lead hero)…as seen in Hellboy and Batman Begins.

If a movie includes an alien that looks human or is disguised as one, and is trapped or hiding out on Earth, there’s almost always a scene where the E.T is introduced to human food. No matter how advanced said alien is, they will always find human food the most delicious thing they’ve ever tasted.

Even though they’ll also be totally new to the concept of eating, their digestive systems hold up remarkably well for a species that has no need of food.

Tom Cruise

Sex scenes that are so unrealistic in that the couple are half dressed (waist down), NO foreplay whatsoever, and he’s bangin’ her HARD like a jackhammer for less than a minute… and she’s moaning and orgasming like a pro.

Most films do NOT need a sex scene. Is your script really so bad that the only thing to keep a viewer’s attention is a hard, hasty and sloppy sex scene?

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Sex scenes that are so unrealistic in that the couple are half dressed (waist down), NO foreplay whatsoever, and he’s bangin’ her HARD like a jackhammer for less than a minute… and she’s moaning and orgasming like a pro.

Most films do NOT need a sex scene. Is your script really so bad that the only thing to keep a viewer’s attention is a hard, hasty and sloppy sex scene?[/quote]

Movies where someone is on the run for days/weeks/months, but he never grows a beard or even sprouts stubble, despite clearly never having the opportunity to shave.

When the romantic couple wake up and start making out first thing in the morning it makes me want to vomit. Did they brush their teeth in their sleep?

Characters escaping by jumping into a body of water, no matter from what height, without injury.

Someone lights a fire with a lighter or candle or something and immediately the whole room is engulfed in flames. Does everyone soak their curtains and trashcans in kerosene?

Henchmen that get punched once or twice (or even better, thrown onto their backs) and are then rendered completely out of the action for the remainder of the 10 minute fight scene.