It’s not an innate ability. It’s was fear and disatisfaction with being a normal factory worker, which was what my father wanted be to be, after watching too many hollywood movies that drove me to work harder than anyone else because I believed I could suceed as long as there was opportunity. My only real innate ability is the inability to feel anxious, but it’s led to lots of good things and lots of bad ones. I nearly died because of driving recklesslously a long time ago and my wife has benned me from ever entering a casino lol.
You spoke about your dissatisfaction with your upbringing. My dad never forgave me for outdoing him financially. He wanted me to work in a factory like him. An honest day’s work or some shit like that. He’d never praise us for good grades but he’d beat the crap out of us for bad ones.
He gave me shit when I was studying, saying only crooks study this course, then he gave me sshit for changing career paths because I err.. I guess I wasted my time studyint to by a crook? Fuck, he never even forgave me for learning to play the guitar better than him when I was a teen.
The first time I ever saw him acting intimate with my mother was when he asked me to teach him how to use his smart phone in my 30s and I saw a message “Miss U” from my mother and I was feeling uneasy for a week like I had just walked into the room while my parents were having sex lol.