Yeah. I’m always assessing the people around me. How they move, how loud they are, like everything- until I’m either comfortable being around them or I determine its time to go.
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For me it depends on the environment. I’m not an overly emotional or touchy feely guy but I have a friend who hugs every greeting and goodbye. It’s funny too because he’s a competitive powerlifter and looks it, and a former special operations guy. Tattoos, looks like he’d kill you for looking at him funny, but he’s the nicest guy and loves hugging. I don’t mind and I’ll squeeze him.
In public, out at bars or parties or whatever, I don’t like the sloppy drunk leaning and arm around the neck. Especially if I don’t know the person well. I don’t necessarily feel threatened but I don’t like my space being invaded. I’ll usually tell them point blank I don’t want you want you leaning on me or something and it’s usually fine. I make a point to be friendly about it, and make myself the weirdo for not liking it so it doesn’t get washed through a drunk lense, which I have seen go sideways.
I’m a white collar guy through and through, but I’ve mentioned before I ride a Harley, and I’ve met casual acquaintances in the more hardcore aspect of the lifestyle. I’ve been to legit biker parties and here I am cautious. They have rules and will uphold them whether you are aware or not. For example, you may not under any circumstance talk to an “old lady” without express permission. Not even a polite “hello”. They will kick the shit out of you and it won’t be 1:1.
I’ve seen a guy in a group laughing and joking and then he got choke slammed and stabbed multiple times. ( I left discreetly at this point).
So I am cautious about personal bubble invasions here. Like what’s your intent? And I’m not a monster either but I’m 6’1” and 230 and I know a sneaky approach wouldn’t be out of the question.
FTR, I don’t make it a point to go to these guys parties often, but you kind of run in to each other in the backroad watering holes and all the “rules” apply.
So in a nutshell it depends. I’ll squeeze hug a buddy while we call each other brother, I’m not super bothered by overly friendly drunks but will establish personal space, and I’m leery in rough company. All situational.
And, it’s rare I’m not carrying a pistol. I understand it doesn’t matter if somebody gets the “jump” on me, but in general it feels like pretty strong insurance worst case.
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As irrelevant as the inflation rate of the Peso… in NYC yesterday we a had looooow IQ black supremacist cretin calling for violence against whytes. Double standard?? Any racist is a piece of shit but one race gets a pass
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It is to self-loathing whyte libtards and indoctrinated college pukes
Yeah, which is ironic because they ignore the BLM and DEI political power.
There is no DEI it’s all marketing bullshit
Agreed, but they think they’re powerful, and still deny
I have seen those situations go south but only when there was some subtle air of aggression right out of the gate. Some mean drunks will start with what they think are friendly gestures, but it is obvious that this is a prelude to them starting something. Like a drunk who says “Hey big guy…” and then pats you on the back just a little too hard. If that’s where you find yourself, you have two options: Leave, if you can (always the better option), or prepare for it to get physical. Trying to laugh it off or pretending you don’t perceive the aggression will be taken as weakness and only escalate the situation. If leaving is not an option, give the fellow the most stone-cold look you can, and be totally (and I mean totally) prepared for him to move on you. Be thinking about nearby objects that either he or you could use as weapons. And be thinking about who has backup. Hopefully he is not the only one there with allies. If he is, sorry, you really fucked up by walking into this situation and it will end badly if leaving really wasn’t an option.
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A couple of pointers for avoiding that very last “You’re fucked” situation: Stay away from parties/bars/clubs where everyone else knows each other and you don’t. Stay away from places where you will be the only member of your ethnic group. Stay away from strip clubs or other generally seedy places, especially if you are alone. This goes double if the locale is lower or working class. No prejudice here; I’m from a blue-collar family myself. Just the way it is.
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I’m seeing a common denominator with the interactions you’re bringing up here in this thread.
From a purely practical self-defense standpoint, you are much safer when you avoid drunk people or anyone using drugs. Despite that, I enjoy going to bars occasionally too, so when you’re there it is best to not be drunk or high yourself as a starting point. I like club soda and lime and tipping the bartenders really well for it nowadays. I always have a full glass and fresh lime.
Going to the bar is sort of like taking your dog to the dog park. You have to accept that you might encounter dangerous animals that should probably be caged or at least on a leash.
How you react to them is really a social thing more than anything, but it sounds like you’re wondering where the line should be drawn. In the examples you bring up, you can always set a boundary with contact, among other behaviors.
Simple, direct verbal commands given calmly are surprisingly effective on drunk people, but not quite 100 percent. It is usually best to lead with something like “Don’t put your hands on me”, with as much or little profanity as you find appropriate.
If the contact continues you can respond reasonably, which means exactly what most reasonable people believe it means. Penny was just found to be a reasonable man in NYC, which I think is as good of advice for you as any.
What actions to respond with is a whole separate rabbit hole, probably best explored in one of the self-defense threads.
And no, you’re not off at all for contemplating self-defense. That’s totally normal. We’re wired for it.
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Usually I’ve seen defense situations with drunks start off with the drunks being aggressive and angry anyways. It’s like something is already bothering them and each drink fans the flames until they finally spill over. The “edgy” guys are the ones to look out for imo.
And the piss & vinegar young guys who haven’t learned to hold their liquor yet.
It’s pretty rare to see the friendly drunks turn on a dime in my experience. They’re generally just out socializing and feeling loose.
So if someone is leaning in, hugging whatever 9/10 they’re just drunk and unaware.
But, if I’m at a gas station or something and some dude comes up and puts his arm around me, I’m body slamming him on the concrete.
Again I think it’s situational. I’m aware personalities can be different in different “scenes”. I live in an elm street town in the hills with 2 rivers clean enough for recreation, 3 lakes within 45 minutes, multiple historic districts preserved as walkable strands of bars and restaurants, tons of live music any given day et cetera. It’s not really a scenario where you have to keep your head on a swivel. If anything, the overly friendly drunk couple may proposition you to swing or something, which seems to have an oddly strong presence in the area.
But I grew up in Houston and I know in a major city it can be different so caution is probably good.
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Oh silly silly tlgains…
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Oh, I don’t have any concerns about these guys. They’re probably just lonely. Once I start seeing some better attempts at style, maybe I’ll pay them more attention.
Maybe but I don’t know if people think it’s possible for some kind of institutional power structure to not exist.
Well, it’s a safe bet the skinheads and whomever else do not hold any power.
One problem I see with this is there is no real information the people can use to of defused this thing.
First, multiple people also tried to help P. and he took it upon himself to be the only one holding this guy down.
I really still have mixed feelings about it. I feel he’s a vigilante prick.
The people are taught in society to call for help but also do something. If someone grabs an arm and a leg, the guy can’t do much.
This is how police do things and I think the public needs to do similar take downs.
If society wants to allow crazy behavior than society needs to allow the people to act and defuse.
FOX news pushes the agenda that the people need guys like him for security with his military training crap.
NO we don’t!!!
I just talked about how if the other folks trying to help out grabbed an arm and leg, this guy would be defused. Instead the guy who thinks he’s better because he’s Rambo needs to be the lone savior.
People who’ve never subdued a violent grown man often believe it is easily achieved in the way you describe.
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I’d run away.
Your excuses are the very thing society needs to overcome.
People have succeeded much easier by having multiple people carry someone by the legs and arms. It’s been done on airplanes and it’s been done by mobs.
Your military hero way is only chest pounding BS.
But he’s the one who’s gotta live the rest of his days with this, if he’s got any soul he’s going to have a rough time, if he’s got no soul, he’ll be fine with it.