[quote]Vicomte wrote:
You gotta fight flaming with flaming, girlfriend.[/quote]
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
Vicomte wrote:
You gotta fight flaming with flaming, girlfriend.
[/quote]
I DID NOT just get fixed up in this thread.
It is so on, ho…
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
You gotta fight flaming with flaming, girlfriend.
[/quote]
Is that an offer or a threat?
Or both?
[quote]theAnj wrote:
pushmepullme wrote:
You gotta fight flaming with flaming, girlfriend.
Is that an offer or a threat?
Or both?[/quote]
Yes.
I wont admit to being an idiot, a ditz, but not an idiot. I figured you guys will get a kick out of my moment, my family hasn’t let it go for almost 10 years…
The first time I ever went to the ocean I was 15. We took a nice little trip to Cali ran to the beach and I saw something in the distance. I squinted and had my hand up by my eyes to get a better look. My brother comes up and asks what I was doing. Very baffled I asked him “where is the other side.” I told him I thought I could see the top of China… little did I know it was an oil rigger I saw in the distance. My brother laughed so hard at me.
The top of that thing threw me off I suppose. They still laugh and taunt me. I know its not the dumbest thing I have done, but is right up there.
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
theAnj wrote:
pushmepullme wrote:
You gotta fight flaming with flaming, girlfriend.
Is that an offer or a threat?
Or both?
Yes.[/quote]
Can I watch? (You two of course, not the guys)
[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
EmilyQ wrote:
-Tiberius- wrote:
Meganewb, yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking. Actually, that was the problem with the car. There were all these car wash guys looking at me like I was an idiot (which I am, obviously). I initially didn’t know where the car needed to be, because there were rails on the ground. They were so disgusted with me, and they were using that slow talk you use with simpletons (or WOMEN DRIVERS), it just frazzled me. They were all standing around watching me so doubtfully. I couldn’t handle the pressure and developed performance anxiety. Now of course I’m subjected to mockery unending.
I’ve solved that problem. I have never gone through a car wash. Never. I already know it will be exactly as you have described so I just don’t do it.[/quote]
I encourage you to try the fully automatic ones. They’re very easy to…er, go into. The one that caused me so much agony was a different sort. It had people involved. So I didn’t know how, exactly, the whole thing was meant to operate. I recommend not going to one of those. It sounds like you’ve got quite enough struggle in your life without inviting people to stand around your car looking doubtfully at you.
My brother in law is an idiot.
He had just gotten out of the Navy and went home to visit his cousin. They went out to a strip club about 35 miles away from where they live, and proceeded to get trashed.
Brother in law decides to drive home. He makes it the entire way, perfectly fine, until he stops at the last red light before his neighborhood, and falls asleep.
A cop pulls up behind him, the light turns green. The cop turns on his lights, so the brother in law unrolls his window and tries to wave the cop past.
The cop didn’t think that was too funny.
[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
pushmepullme wrote:
theAnj wrote:
pushmepullme wrote:
You gotta fight flaming with flaming, girlfriend.
Is that an offer or a threat?
Or both?
Yes.
Can I watch? (You two of course, not the guys)[/quote]
Sure. I may be in need of a coach actually. Definitely time for training & preparation. Those lawyers are sneaky sneaky. Pushmepullme probably has lots of tricks up her sleeves.
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
My brother in law is an idiot.
He had just gotten out of the Navy and went home to visit his cousin. They went out to a strip club about 35 miles away from where they live, and proceeded to get trashed.
Brother in law decides to drive home. He makes it the entire way, perfectly fine, until he stops at the last red light before his neighborhood, and falls asleep.
A cop pulls up behind him, the light turns green. The cop turns on his lights, so the brother in law unrolls his window and tries to wave the cop past.
The cop didn’t think that was too funny.[/quote]
Oh God, speaking of Navy idiots… one time when I was on a carrier, we pulled in for a port visit in Jebel Ali (Dubai). A bunch of arab vendors set up little tent booths on the pier. One guy had a few camels for camel rides. So at about midnight when the camels had been worn out and were settled down dozing off, one retarded drunk sailor decides it’d be hi-laaaar-ious to sneak up on one of the sleeping camels and punch it in the face.
The owner had to jump up and grab the reigns and keep the camel from stomping the idiot to death. He was PISSSSSED though, and went straight to the port authorities demanding compensation for his camel and that the ship leave. The XO ended up having to pay off the camel owner personally out of pocket to keep from filing a report and causing an international incident and getting us banned. Needless to say, the instigating sailor did not enjoy a port visit for the rest of his entire deployment.
[quote]eawhite wrote:
Was driving home really late at night and stopped at a stop sign. Waited about five minutes for the damn thing to turn green before I realized my mistake.[/quote]
I have, on more than one occasion, slowed down and stopped at green lights before realizing what the hell I’m doing.
whats the difference between “ir” and “ver”
…ir means to go, ver means to see.
i thought voy and ir both meant go?
voy is the same word, veo means i see.
(you have to have a background in spanish language to get it)
oh look, your bag has the swiss flag on it.
i think im going to give that girl from sweden some swiss cheese.
why?
because shes from sweden.
swiss cheese is from switzerland.
well…theyre practically the same place
(15 minutes into my 8:30am class)
wait, theres a quiz due too? when?
yes, at 8:30 this morning.
That port visit was actually quite full of idiocy. I can’t resist telling this one because it’s STILL bugging me.
Nobody was allowed to leave the port facility that first night, so they let a bunch of arab vendors set up shop and put up a bunch of beer tents- it was kind of like a big crazy carnival, camel rides and all. And of course, port-a-potties; thousands of drunk sailors have to go SOMEWHERE after all. Anyway, this ship’s particular CO had a rule that no sailors on board could fraternize, period, no dating between ANYBODY. With 6000 people, and a 60/40 men/women ratio, this is of course an impossible policy. When there’s a will, there’s a way. Anywho, since nobody was allowed to leave the port facility and go get hotel rooms, many folks got inventive…
After we left port, we found out that 15 sailors had been put on restriction (not allowed to leave the ship for the whole port visit, stuck on duty) and were getting masted for “fraternization” and indecent behavior in the port-a-potties. GROSS, huh!!! Well, the thing that gets me, and apparently has been milling around in the back of my brain for the last few years, is the math. It just doesn’t add up. When you’re caught, you get put on restriction right away, so nobody would’ve had opportunity to get caught twice with 2 different partners at different times. And wanking it isn’t off-limits so far as I know. So… the only thing I can come up with, in my poor little pea brain, is that some group was having a 3some in a port-a-potty. I can’t fathom them fitting first off, but secondly, it takes a severe level of desperation/drunkenness/stupidity in the first place to have a go in a shitter. You’d think a 3some would at least be more planned out.
I can’t figure it out. These guys were obviously idiots, but I’m probably an idiot too for still sitting here pondering it today. Woooofta.
[quote]-Tiberius- wrote:
Well I had one about fifteen minutes ago.
Walked out of my dorm room with my girlfriend sitting in front of the computer and her friend sitting next to her. Walk back in from the bathroom and sit back behind “her.” Sit down behind “her” and put my nose in her hair and exclaim “OH MAN YOUR HAIR SMELLS LIKE SHIT!” Everyone goes quiet, and only then do I realize that my girlfriend and her friend had switched places, and I just said that to the friend who I don’t know at all. Instead of admitting I screwed up I just said “just thought you should know” and walked back out.
Last time I watch the laker game instead of verify where my girlfriend is sitting.[/quote]
LMAO.
I was listening to my tv (a radio station channel) and I heard a song that I liked. Found out it was by The Ting Tings. I started listening to them.
A few days later I’m flipping through channels and Paris Hilton’s new show came on. I started listening to the theme music because it sounded familiar and I realized it was the same song I liked. Not my proudest moment.
Reborn - What’s the girls name in your icon?
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
whats the difference between “ir” and “ver”
…ir means to go, ver means to see.
i thought voy and ir both meant go?
voy is the same word, veo means i see.
(you have to have a background in spanish language to get it)
oh look, your bag has the swiss flag on it.
i think im going to give that girl from sweden some swiss cheese.
why?
because shes from sweden.
swiss cheese is from switzerland.
well…theyre practically the same place
(15 minutes into my 8:30am class)
wait, theres a quiz due too? when?
yes, at 8:30 this morning.
[/quote]
I don’t understant what you are trying to say.
each one of those is an example of my “idiot” moment.
theres 3 different scenarios and they are all in a dialogue form. each line is either what i or someone else said.
I once called a sports med doctor about my knee problem and then asked their hours. When I showed up there for my appointment the following week, the receptionist said, “you may have called and asked questions, but you never made an appointment.” Duh.
I do this one quite often (and perhaps a few of you do as well):
When I make a mistake in real life (away from my computer), I immediately find myself looking for the keyboard so I can perform the “UNDO” key command.
My brother once worked in a machine shop. One day he left his coat on a bench while working. At day’s end he picked up his coat and realized his wallet was missing! He looked around the shop, and in his mind placed blame on the only African American guy in the place, who also happened to be the new guy. So my bro goes out to his car, pissed off, and finds his wallet on the front seat! That’s the first DUH.
Here’s the 2nd DUH. He feels so bad for having blamed the black guy in his mind, he goes back into the shop and TELLS THE BLACK GUY!
Bro: Hey man, I lost my wallet and thought you had stolen it, only to find it later in my car.
Black dude: You blamed me because I’m black, right?
Bro: Uhhh… no. Because you’re the new guy.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I do this one quite often (and perhaps a few of you do as well):
When I make a mistake in real life (away from my computer), I immediately find myself looking for the keyboard so I can perform the “UNDO” key command. [/quote]
::SIGH:: If only it were THAT easy!!!