Henry?
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Just thinking about my age and training age, makes me feel like one of those cars that really isn’t all that old, yet has 150k miles on it.
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Like Indiana Jones said, it’s not the years, it’s the mileage. Of course, some of us have too many of both under their belts…
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I’m deciding how to handle a very bad situation I have going on. Some scrawny guy at the gym has been a bit too friendly with my wife. She has been going in the evenings while I work so I haven’t seen him but she mentioned he follows her too much and just tries to talk to her mid exercise and she didn’t want to be mean so she just walks away usually. She told him she was happily married, too. Well, yesterday he was following her too much, to the point that she was uncomfortable, so she flat out ignored him. We bring our kids to the gym daycare, and so when she was done she went into the daycare to get our kids. HE WAS IN THE DAYCARE, TRYING TO PLAY WITH MY SON. He doesn’t have fucking kids. She got freaked out and asked what he was doing in there and he said our son was cute and he wanted to throw a ball with him. She kind of froze up and he left, but the daycare lady said he had even tried to come in the gate that keeps the kids in.
First, I am a bit angry that my wife didn’t outright let him know to fuck off, but she was scared and froze up, and she’s the friendliest person in the world - she’d strike up a conversation with a crazy homeless person if she could - so I understand that. But also, she only let me know this happened TODAY. Partially because she knows I can fly off the handle and can be very confrontational and was scared I’d end up hurting the guy. I can understand that also, because I’m having genuine thoughts of hurting the guy.
Now, I have to go to the gym tomorrow and notify the manager, because I’m never there when this guy is. Except sometimes saturdays - I don’t know who he is but my wife says he’s been there when we both went a couple times, so i don’t know what I’m going to do when I see him. I’m not trying to go to jail, but I want to pick up a 5 lb plate and beat him until he stops moving.
Hitting on my wife, who is way out of your league, by awkwardly trying to talk to her occasionally, is one thing. But stalking her and then trying to play WITH MY FUCKING CHILDREN? I’m seriously wondering if I can control myself if I see him.
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Tell the gym manager about the situation?
The problem I have with stalker behavior is that, what initially appears to be fairly harmless can quickly morph into a bad situation.
He isn’t trying to follow her outside of the gym or anything right?
I imagine any physical violence would result in felony charges for significant bodily harm so avoid that option. Go to management. The daycare staff should not have let him near the kids. That’s unacceptable. Complain about that as well.
Your wife is probably going to have to make it painfully clear that she wants him to leave her alone. If that doesn’t work then maybe she should get violent. They won’t charge a woman who has asked to be left alone and then resorted to violence when the creep continued to bug her.
The daycare area should have cameras. Maybe they can ID the guy for you tomorrow.
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Seems like an obvious one here. Since he doesn’t seem to know who you are, just start hitting on him and proceed with your advances despite him telling you he isn’t interested. Get real creepy about it. Like blow in his ear during a set creepy. Wait for him in the locker room creepy. Eventually he will find a new gym.
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He waited for her outside the gym that day that he was in the daycare and followed her most of the way to her car.
@Frank_C I let my wife know that people like this can take silence as consent. She needs to be very clear about how uncomfortable she feels and let him know to back off before she alerts the police.
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I am all for beating his ass! But, since that is not socially acceptable, I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to go back without you. That is TOO creepy!
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O_O
I think your wife needs to be very cautious that this person doesn’t follow her anywhere.
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I genuinely appreciate the laugh, man.
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I think I need to make a formal report with the gym manager. All my talk of violence is fun to imagine, but it’s just going to land me in jail, and I’d just pop up in the news as another crazy combat vet who went berserk on an innocent person. I just lost it when my wife said he was in the kids club trying to get in the gate and play with my child, presumably to get closer with her. It scared me to death and I felt - I FEEL - as if I want to genuinely kill the guy. Which is why I need to chill the fuck out and see how this can be handled in a safe manner.
This one worked for me in the past. Good friend (woman) of mine was worried about a guy at our local pub who wouldn’t leave her alone. I hit on him in the pup a few times and the final time held his head with two hands and gently licked his face. For some reason he stopped coming to the pub after that 
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Apparently I have two options: ID him via camera or get super gay with him. I’m not going to crowdsource a choice between these two either, because it’s the internet and getting super gay with him is going to win 10/10 times.
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Have you considered using 5/3/1?
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I feel like I’d have a hard time making a good case about a miscommunication about a bench spot… 
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Chop him into 5 pieces
Dissolve him in 3 fifty-five gallon drums of h2so4
Buy 1 ticket to a country with no extradition
or
Leave him 5 love notes
Slip him 3 roofies
Buy him 1 backstage pass to an R Kelly show
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Man, I KNEW I needed to buy Forever. Sounds like it’s got all SORTS of new programs.
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You need to flag the daycare incident with the manager. That is outrageous. I’d then be asking him to cancel the membership of this person or he loses two members and you’ll report the incident - which would be a code violation at even the most lax of jurisdictions.
Also worth getting advice from the police now. They might knock on his door to pull him into line but if something needs to happen at least he is already known to police.
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Invite him to your house in person so there’s no evidence, send your wife and kids out shopping then when he comes, say he was trespassing and kill him. You walk away with no charges and the police can see the footage of him stalking your wife and being a creep.