You would not survive in my home. My girl is not a last to use it replaces it, or a put it back where you found kind of woman. 20+ years and it still confuses the hell out of me.
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With kids around, I always like to say it’s like living in an escape room. “I want to use the scissors. Oh, but NOW I need to get inside the head of the LAST person who wanted to use them, figure out what they were using them for, and determine where they would have put them once they were done with that, because they aren’t in the cutting block where they belong.”
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Yeah what I’m saying is that you view cleaning up after a husband as ‘mothering’ when in reality - it’s just housekeeping.
I work and pay for everything that comes into the house, including the house.
My wife gets to stay at home, raise our daughter, and do a minimal amount of housework to keep the place presentable.
Is my wife mothering me by cleaning up an occasional mess i don’t have time to get to?
Is my daughter mothering me when she helps?
I don’t think so.
If we reverse the roles, are all working husbands with SAH wives “fathering” their wives by paying for their needs and wants?
Sounds a bit ridiculous when you frame it like that, right?
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This is work. You’re not slacking by maintaining a home.
I do get what youre saying here, but I also think theres a distinction between home making and cleaning up someone elses shit all the time. How many of these things being left for the wife to clean are really because someone didnt have time?
Theres lots of nuance involved to every relationship… I could imagine a mad dash in the morning where people are making breakfast, eating, getting kids ready for school, getting ready for work… and then the Jam gets left on the table because of the craziness and the husband has left for work and the wife puts it away because shes at home for the next 8 hours. I dont think anyone should or would have a problem there
But I could also imagine a scenario where there is no such chaos and the dude just isnt cleaning up his own shit and just is chilling on the couch. If you and your wife are cool with that dynamic, thats fine, but its something I could easily see causing friction and not something I would expect from my wife.
Certain messes are created in service of the household as well (home improvement type stuff) But just leaving my own personal trash around the house for another person to clean up constantly? I cant imagine most people enjoying that year after year after year.
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I get what you’re saying and i don’t give a fuck, frankly. I think you and everyone like you are a cuck in the making, if you’re not already.
Okay, i lied. I don’t get what you’re saying. I didn’t read it.
A long time ago I decided I only needed 4 cups, 4 bowls, 4 plates, etc.
No piles of dishes. There aren’t enough to make a pile.
I was happy with that and felt good about it.
Then my wife entered the picture, and my little plan to avoid sink piles was crushed beneath the weight of a bunch of dishes.
Then she saw the sense in my spartan dish plan. Back down we went. Happiness once again bloomed in our sink.
Then we got married and there was some kind of glitch in the registry and everybody gave us dishes. So I gave them all to my neices & donated them to womens shelters.
Now, 20ish years later, we have some ballance. Not too many, not too few. She likes small shiny things, so I let her cut loose with the spoons & stuff.
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My grandfather made it his goal is life to have 2 dishwashers. That way, you never put dishes away. You just take out the dishes you need from one dishwasher and put them in the other as you use them.
It was a brilliant idea, but ended up fizzling out upon implementation.
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I like the way he thinks! Thats good big brain stuff man! 
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I believe putting laundry away is a time wasting task.
If all my clothes fit in one load of laundry, why would I ever take my clothes out of the dryer except to put them on?
In Australia it’s common practice to have 2 dishwashers.
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To clarify, I do work. I make less than I did when he and I met because I’m only working about 30 hours/wk now, whereas previously I worked a 46-50 hour “full time.” I work, though.
Housekeeping is dusting, vacuuming, maintaining bathroom surfaces, etc. Cleaning up after someone is wiping up the grape jelly they somehow spilled off their plate while eating lunch. One does this for children until they can be taught that we must each clean up after ourselves as this is a basic responsibility of being a person of greater than 7 years old or so. (Insert here a reminder to such a child that they can play by “little kid rules” or earn “big kid rules” for themselves.) One does not expect this to be perfectly accomplished, but teaching it is one of the jobs of an effective parent. One further expects the various mothers of all the people living in a household to have taught “basic person-being” in childhood, i.e. cleaning up after themselves when they make a specific mess (as opposed to standard wear and tear). So there’s that.
I’m not sure what you mean by “minimal.” I do agree, having been the SAH mom of four kids, that keeping a household of three running without outside work is quite doable, however.
I do think some play this role to childish women. I would not want to be the husband of one of them. I really like grownups as sex partners.
I’m not a SAHM, though, as noted above. I think I may have given the impression that I work less than I do. I also make about the average US household income in the ~30 hours I work. Which isn’t a huge amount of money, but I also don’t work in retail making minimum wage.
Re: the two dishwashers: is it Fisher that does the dual dish drawers? They’re pricy, though, and I’ve heard not the joy that those of us lacking them imagine they’ll be. I can’t recall why.
Let me state once again for the record: my husband isn’t a child and I don’t view him that way. I was simply responding to the article @BrickHead posted with a common wife complaint, one with which I struggle, and which men concerned with the declining interest in commitment on the part of women should consider.
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Yeah. I expect my wife to do the laundry, but not to pick my dirty socks up off the living room floor. It’s a small but important distinction. Don’t leave empty beer cans on the coffee table stuff.
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Exactly. (To both of you.)
Sounds like we got ourselves another cuck on our hands here everyone
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As long as we are predicting futures, I won’t be the least bit surprised when your wife hands you divorce papers “out of nowhere” in 10 years “over nothing”
I suggest cutting the tren dose in half before that happens.
In any event, you won’t have to not read any more from me. you and I obviously don’t mix and I’m done trying to have civil conversation with you. I don’t suppose either of us will be too broken up over it.
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I know. What I meant was someone who cuts job hours and then spends those hours maintaining a home is still working during those hours.
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Stop being so oppressive to women. You’re literally forcing your wife to mommy you.
Right, you’re playing definition games here.
I can see why you became a therapist.
They commonly have 2 wives over there??
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