I’m actually very pro-man.
This should be a default setting for most humans.
And pro-woman.
Pro-children too. Let’s just want our whole species to do and best they can be.
I feel the issues stem when one believes that being pro one necessitates being anti the other.
What are they? How do you define it?
Yes. I posted in another thread about reporting any rodent issues to the proper authorities, by which I meant the husband. Hopefully he can help me with a good number of the things on the list in that thread of animals one might need to defeat in life. I so appreciate the “man” of him, even though he is often followed by literal clods of dirt. I love seeing him ice skate, because I see the college hockey player in him and it’s SEXY. I can’t even describe how much so. I’ve only seen him at public skates, so the contrast between his skating and the families and kids…he’s just fierce-looking. Fluid. Something.
I sort of know that there are things flowing the other way. The way the house is with me in it. The way it is with the kids and holidays. How healthy he is compared to before me. I’m not sure what the SEXY part is for him, but there’s something.
Aren’t members of both sexes going their own way? I mean, when men withdraw from women, they are “going their own way”. Aren’t they? Some of the old MGTOW content was produced by older men who had been married and went through the divorce regime.
I do believe men want women more than women want men, generally speaking. Men are sexually the weaker sex. I have had men in male-focused online spaces get annoyed by these statements.
Well yeah. If no one looked past annoyances and disappointments we’d have a 
divorce rate.
Those marriages are not my business, and although I’m not perfect, usually I wonder upon being informed about them, why such women married such men? Do you have insight on that from counseling? Aren’t grooming and employment status two of the most obvious characteristics of people?
Mostly a guy that is present and attentive to the ones around him. That covers a lot of ground.
Good earner, or at least tries? Sure.
Doesn’t lose his mind with all of the typical distractions (drugs, booze, video games, etc.).
In emotional control of ones self? Yes. At least to a decent degree. Nobody is going to follow a weak minded insecure moonbat. You can’t lead your family like that.
There’s a lot to it, but my posts willjust be broken up today cuz I’m just posting while taking breaks.
Yes, you’re right, of course, but currently I see lower interest in commitment on the women’s side. It’s a reversal of traditional norms. Will that change if social/political changes come? Sure.
It could be one of a couple of factors. One possibility is that they moved more quickly than they should have, and she didn’t have time to notice patterns and/or saw what she wanted to. Another is that he changes - gets fat and lazy over time, which women do, too, but now they can end those marriages. Women don’t have to live with Ralph Krandem or Archie Bunker anymore - I don’t even know if that archetype still exists on television, but they sure do exist in real life. Ill-tempered slobs who complain about everything. Lastly, could be she’s broken and doesn’t know that one day she’ll develop self-respect and get a good job and and want a happier and healthier home for her children than she can create as a couple with him. These women tend to come from difficult backgrounds; alcoholic families and/or very poor. As she grows up she outgrows that level of dysfunction. If he grows, too, all goes well. They teach each other what is needed.
Agree. I think most couples divide sub-categories of leadership; I determine what is and is not acceptable use of a dishtowel and when the potholders are no longer welcome in the kitchen, he sees to the defense of the stronghold and determine’s the motor oil’s lifespan.
Hey…hold on a minute! 
You’re exceptional, and not what I’m talking about at all. I’m not talking about weight, even, more just a weakness of spirit that shows up in the body. A slob.
No one grows old in the sport community without phases of detachment from it, but I’ll wager that most of us here bring a lot of care to a lot of what we do. Such as supporting your partner in her health goals while trying to be very careful of her feelings.
I was just joking around .
I may accidentally have called someone a sinner earlier, so I’m just making sure. 
You know I knew a guy, chemist, that did oil analysis in mining machinery. He developed enough data to be able to accurately draw up a maintenance plan for all of their equipment, saving millions of dollars in equipment repair and replacement.
I’m in charge of the potholders. Once I have a couple of favorites, they are not to be messed with.
Of course this goes without saying. Unless you let it get gross enough that the other potholder drawer residents are in danger of contamination, in which case you may be informed that it must risk a trip through the washer before being invited back.
Obviously milage may vary in the various relationship configurations according to partner interests and willingness to defer to the person likely to get most worked up over any given issue.
Mine is the sanitary condition of the kitchen, though I have lost the battle of he dishcloth/sponge and must now not think of it, as I do not think about what eggs are made of.
though I have lost the battle of he dishcloth/sponge and must now not think of it
Is the sponge battle “why is it that I always wring the sponge out yet whenever I go to use it it’s f**king wet”?
As for the dishcloth, I don’t understand why we keep handwashing soap at the sink when people dry their hands with a dishcloth…
No, it’s “I can’t share this thing with you or even touch it without gloves on” combined with “but no, you are not excused from KP, so go ahead and use it and I will remind myself as needed that I’ve never gotten ill from our kitchen.” And then settle in to blissfully watch the gratuitously violent and filthy TV shows we share a love for.
I call this item a dish towel. The dishcloth is a thing I wash dishes and wipe down counters with. I use it for usually two days and then into the dirty laundry it goes.
Great way of putting it. I’m 100% in agreement with that and the rest of the post.
Apologies if this belongs elsewhere, but I’d figure I’d ask.
For the guys here, is it a general ability for men to love all of their children with the same magnitude? I dont use the term “equally”, because it gets muddy.
My husband has two kids from a previous marriage (that is a HUGE massive can of worms that I dont mind talking about, but ive had to work through an extreme amount of insecurities since I myself am childless).
Almost the entirety of last year was me having meltdown after meltdown after meltdown over this subject. Please note: I did myself no favors having been apart of the r/stepparent reddit forum ( Go there at your own risk), which ive since had to leave entirely.
But ive had to wrestle with this feeling of my husband not being able to love a future child we plan on having due to his first and second born children.
My husband is an extremely sympathetic man, and tells me each child is different, and each child is loved and cared for consistently with accommodations to their individual personality.
So…. I just figured I’d ask here since yall are consistently level headed with opinions and experiences.
Capability? Sure. Will he actually? Who knows
LOTS of things go into “loving” a child and how that presents. As I’m sure you saw on Reddit some parents will like kids from marriage one more, some from their second marriage more.
it could be because the kids in either marriage remind them of something or represent something or behave a certain way or are influenced by someone else or because they only see them every so often or whatever
only you know the man you are considering kids with and the situation surrounding all that.
But sure, he would be capable of loving a new child with you… but these situations are dynamic and messy and come with all sorts of issues that may make it impossible To have that “perfect marriage” many dream of and has built in sacrifices you won’t get if he didn’t have this other family.
if his kids from the previous marriage have something planned for a certain night and your new kid has their dance recital… who gets daddy? Who gets daddy on Christmas? Thanksgiving?
He can still love your kid 100% but have to make these impossible decisions of how to split is limited time.
As long as you understand those kinds of things going in it is possible
As my above post there’s lots of reasons and situations. People in general seek the familiar, so if women grow up with shitty male role models their brain wires to understand that as the type of man to seek out.
As they say women marry their fathers and men marry their mothers
outside of that I think (at least) one other factor is that so much emphasis culturally is placed on that feeling of infatuation you can get when you meet someone, especially with women. You have to find “Mr right”, that guy who makes you feel butterflies, etc… Lots of people can get swept off their feet by total loser ass hats because their monkey brain is responding to something the guy is giving off when they would usually be much better served with someone with a lower emotional connection to (lower, not zero) but many other desirable but boring traits. In your way of thinking, the kind of guy a father would set his daughter up with
Good points.
Considering I’ve come to the unpleasant conclusion that there are men out there who don’t give a damn about their own children (for example, the biological father of the daughter of my wife’s friend wished death upon both of them), I believe some men have varying degrees of love for their children, while others love all equally.
I love both of my kids equally, and if a third comes along, I’ll love that one equally too. I’d also love a stepchild if I chose to be a stepdad. I was planning on adopting my bother’s child had s/he not been aborted.