So, in other words, your dad is a solid partner but because of one issue, he’s worthy of divorce.
Huh
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it’s not one issue. It’s his lack of drive and ambition combined with a disproportionate self confidence.
This is a trait that manifests itself in many areas, some of which are extremely consequential.
I’ll use an analogy. Macbooks are very good for work, but if I also had the ambition of being a top gamer but couldn’t afford another computer, I would be infinitely frustrated because my macbook doesn’t support the games and doesn’t have the requisite hard or software to effectively play games.
Is the macbook a crappy computer overall? no
Am I wrong for wanting to be good at video games? no
it’s a bad fit for a subset of what I want
Kinda depends on what the issue is, doesn’t it? If he forgets to pick his towels up off the ground after he showers that’s one thing but if he is a wife beater that’s another thing entirely. In both cases it’s just one issue but the magnitude is completely different
You’re missing my point.
Your mom pushed him to do better. Go to school. Provide for his family in a greater capacity.
He did that.
He is a good person with qualities that many women would consider extremely desirable in a long-term partner.
And YOU would divorce him for not checking every single box.
So when I said “women divorce because they’re unhappy”, I meant exactly what you just demonstrated.
Cant have your cake and eat it too.
Unless you divorce an otherwise good man and rake in half his pre-tax salary until one of you dies.
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we both agree that this is unreasonable in the current economic and political environment
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Maybe read the conversation before jumping in to blindly defend someone, eh?
The simping runs strong in this one.
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Then I’d challenge you to advocate for it the way you started advocating for women who leave for other reasons than unhappiness.
Children have not been mentioned in much of this recent discourse.
The primary purpose of marriage is–actually was–to establish fatherhood, not for some guy to be on a constant hamster wheel of “improving” and entertaining and “growing” and economic competition with his woman, as nice and beneficial those activities can be (whatever the heck they are or can be defined as). Contrary to popular belief, fatherhood is a social creation.
As for the courts not being stacked with nearly all female workers conspiring against men, perhaps that is the case, but no-fault divorce was drummed up by feminist lawyers in the 1940’s. They pushed and pushed until it went through in the 1960’s. It lines up perfectly with the feminist aim of 100% ownership of the reproductive and child-raising processes (get the men, including good men, out of the picture).
Along with other content I have recommended over and over, I also recommend Michelle Langley’s Woman’s Infidelity, containing information from the horse’s mouth that lines up perfectly with information @Andrewgen_Receptors has provided.
I understand. Hence I believe there should be family vetting.
I agree. I believe family life plays a big factor in mate selection and one’s sexual dynamics.
There’s plenty to read.
This is exactly what I don’t get. All these stories of supposed or actual do-nothings, POS’s, do-nothings, couch surfers, and people with terrible habits attracting women and marrying them, women flipping the script and then the kids are screwed by divorce.
I say all this while admitting I am not some perfect dad or husband.
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I would divorce him if I, like my mum,
- had to spend 4 years essentially as a single mum while he was away doing his startup
- Had to give up a solid career I loved to move the family back with him
- Had to put up with years of serious financial hardship because of mistakes I warned him about, and throughout all of this
- got no support while I tried to start my own endeavours or help with navigating bureaucracy
- Found out that he had not built any meaningful connections without me and left a lot of important things unattended without me there.
The same traits that made him rely on my mum to get him to study or push in to apply for positions caused the above bullet point.
If I didn’t know mum’s experience, there’s a very good chance I too would end up with a guy like my dad. Why?
Bc the “chill” type of personality is the kind that gravitates towards us (I jokingly say “put up with”) and can be a very good counterbalance bc both mum and I get overanxious.
One of my best friends is shockingly similar to my dad personality wise.
He’s also the ONLY friend that is willing to do stuff like watch Russian war movies, walk for 8 hours with me and that I’ve asked to leave my apartment because it’s bedtime, and not because I’m bored or annoyed.
You know what women did before that with no way out? Straight-up fucking murdered their husbands.
Look up spousal homicade rates - it’s much more skewed towards men back then than it is now.
Right, you want Mr. Perfect
Like every other woman out there
Which is why y’all initiate divorce so fucking often, regardless of the impact it would have on your children.
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Made sammiches
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I make better sammiches.
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Honestly I make most of the sammiches in my house.
Because my sammiches are fucking awesome and that’s been independently verified by a number of people.
Poor girl just cant keep up
Let us know when he tells you he loves you
There are a lot of reasons I am unsuitable for being in a relationship
And you are right, having unrealistic expectations is one of them.
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This makes you fit in with most women, honestly.
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The food porn thread is enough proof, no need to gloat 
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I would be very concerned if I did not display at least some traits that aligned me with the sex I was born into
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I will check.