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I love this guy - he’s the only politician I follow on youtube.
There’s a Rian Stone video about this as well, but it could be summarized with the quote “A girl’s father is the only man in the world who gives her attention for something other than sex”, which parses into the “tell your daughter you love her” theme very well.
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Really?
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I don’t think this meant literally, or at least, I hope not. I think what’s implied is that, of course men do appreciate the talents and characteristics of good women, but ultimately don’t seek to closely associate with them unless there is potential for sexual relations. Again, I hope that is what is meant by Rian Stone.
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You’re welcome to listen if you want to. No it’s not literal, but not far from the truth. @BrickHead
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I completely agree.
I am not close with any women really as friends - not like I am with my male friends.
And never will be.
I don’t think that is at all unusual.
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Thanks, I’ll check it out when I have time.
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I only have one close female friend of 24 years. We went to school with each other and she introduced me to a guy who became my close friend until this day. Other than her I’ve never made a female friend.
As silly as this sounds to some, several years ago I came to believe that past 22 years old or so, having a “girlfriend” in most situations is an utter waste of time. If others want to be “boyfriend and girlfriend” as this construct is usually practiced today, that’s fine. But I think it’s aimless and wasteful.
Another thing as it relates to this thread regarding raising daughters that might seem as hyperbolic and Rian’s statement. I’ve several times said that if a very pretty woman has a negligent or airheaded father, you can say goodbye. Surprisingly some people have agreed with me, including women I’ve told that to. @Andrewgen_Receptors
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In a perfect world where mothers and fathers were happily married and never divorced, children of either gender would watch their parent’s interractions and emulate them in their own romantic relationships.
With 40+% fatherless homes, average 50% divorce rate and a gynocentric social order, this is hard to come by.
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100%.
My father-in-law sat me down and grilled me about my intentions with his daughter and how I was going to provide for her / take care of her forever as he will not be around forever when I asked his permission to marry her over a decade ago now.
We started living together after 3 weeks of dating and for the 3 years we dated we slept in separate rooms when visiting my in laws until we were married. They are very traditional people and I respect that. They raised a hell of a daughter that is an exceptional wife.
Getting off topic, but a week after our marriage we went on a family vacation with her family.
I will never forget what her dad said with a straight face when we walked in the large condo, “We put you two in the room furthest away from everyone. I figured as newlyweds you are going to be pretty animated.”
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Can I adopt your in-laws?
That’s great! And totally on topic.
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No, they are mine. I don’t share well!
I have the best in laws on the planet. They have treated me like gold since day 1. Gone out of their way to always include me and make me feel apart.
I completely understand her father now too with having a little girl. Dad won’t always be here. I just hope I last long enough for her to find somebody that can be when I am gone.
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Knowing your daughter will one day look for a man like you, do you ever feel like you aren’t doing enough?
I’ve been fixing up my marriage in a pretty serious way lately and the more I do this - the more I feel like I’m not setting a good enough example for my daughter… curious if I’m alone in that.
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Every. Damn. Day.
And for my son, too—in setting an example for the way he should be treating his wife someday.
Not that I’m doing anything wrong, per se. Just that I’m not doing things as well as I could be (or should be).
But I am my own harshest critic. Perhaps it’s not as bad as I think…
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Every day until I die.
I believe there is no other way. I want her to find a strong man that is never satisfied with his progress and will always strive to be better at everything he does - including in loving her.
People give up too easily these days. Divorce rates are proof of that. My wife does not believe in divorce and neither do I, unless there is abuse or rampant cheating (obvious things). When I give my word - I MEAN it. I stood in front of my entire family and friends and said my vows and I meant them.
If she can find a man that sticks to his convictions and does not bend to the easy path even when it is hard and costs him, I will be happy. That is a life partner that you can depend on no matter what happens and I want her to be the same way.
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Wasn’t the one asked, but I’m a parent and have been a parent-figure for a long time so it’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to.
You’re never going to do everything perfectly (duh.)
Just showing an effort alone post-marriage and kids is going to set a great example.
Also how you talk about your spouse in front of your kid. If the kid is in their late teens and one parent tells them some things about the other parent’s past that they never knew before, I don’t think that’s bad. People should know their family’s history and shouldn’t sweep things under the rug. But the obvious bad stuff - trashing the other parent when the kid is still a child, stuff like that. Like back when you were a newer poster, you were talking about some difficulties reconciling your and your wife’s views/behaviors regarding spending or something like that. I assume you weren’t complaining about your wife in front of your kid. They’ll recognize that. When they get older, they’ll be well aware of their parents’ flaws, but the knowledge that, say, mom’s flaws weren’t pointed out to them by a spiteful dad will be appreciated.
Others may disagree but I really think the best thing to do is just to teach kids how to be good people. Male or female, we’re all human. Despite our many differences, which should be celebrated, we do still have a lot of similarities. We can push for excellence in school, in sports, in a career, etc. but at the end of the day, how much money one makes or how heavy they can bench doesn’t really mean shit to most if they’re a shitty person. Good people tend to make good spouses and good parents, so best thing is to just emphasize the importance of those traits and hope to create a positive cycle.
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Definitely. I usually think unless one of the three A’s are involved - abuse, addiction (this is tricky), or adultery, you made that promise. Stick to it.
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Exactly.
I look at my kids the same way. It is about them now. I will put up with everything to make sure they have the best chance and upbringing I can give them during their formative years.
Even if I have to suffer, I made the choice to have them and they are my responsibility. I won’t ever let them know either. That is not their burden and not their problem.
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I find the discussion of opposite sex friendships interesting.
I agree that it’s difficult. I learned the hard way (twice!) that “friends” =/= friends, especially when it’s not appropriate for me to signal my “type”
With that said, I have two very close male friends. The difference between them and the others is that 1) they’re economists so it was very easy for me to credibly signal my (lack of) intentions 2) they both have girlfriends, both of whom I’m friends with
She should be more scared if you aren’t thinking like this