money and time. I’m willing to make sacrifices for the people I care about. For example, I do it quite a bit for my team, including staying up to call them on multiple occasions or hanging out instead of working on research.
Id also cook and clean, but that’s something I’d do regardless.
Ideally, semi- permenant co-author or at least someone to discuss research with. Emotional support would be nice. Someone to enjoy food with
I’m extremely lucky in that I don’t need to consider finances
Wouldn’t this simply be a good co-worker or professional colleague. I’m not sure why this would have to be a man.
It doesn’t.
These are my preferences now, based on what I THINK I want.
What I THINK I want might not be what I actually want. I asked so I could get opinions before I stop devoting any mental resources towards that direction
My boss said that finding and being with someone is a “15 unit gen ed”. Getting to waive that would be nice
So such a relationship would be initiated on whim. Considering the seriousness of a relationship with a man, especially marriage, this can result in seriously bad consequences, because most men do not wish to be in such situations in which women do not actually appreciate them. Very few people wish to be in agenda-based relationships with the opposite sex, or so-called arrangements.
I have no idea what divorce or cohabitation laws in your country, but over here, such scattered and aimless conduct can result in serious financial and social damage to the other person, let alone the heartache that will result.
Are you aware that relationships are not a hobby, that men are not toys to be rented out, and the damage you are capable of inflicting on someone else (as we all are)? Does this register? (I’m not being sarcastic.)
We’re not sources of entertainment either. I’ve seen the outcomes of people who look at the opposite sex as a source of entertainment. In all cases the outcomes were bad. Typically these people say, “I get bored,” as if the other person’s qualities are overshadowed by their inability to play court jester in the midst of work, child raising, bills, caring for loved ones, social events, and whatever other life stressors, including illness of oneself or others.
Don’t know how this got trashed. I must have done it while scrolling. @anna_5588 but you can see it anyway by seeing edit.
That is exactly what I DON’T want to happen.
My point is that my preferences could change in a few ( or many) years. This happened with maths
By then, a “15 unit course” could easily turn into a “25 unit” one. so I want as much information as possible
Yes. A failed relationship in uni ruined my uncle.
I don’t play games, but I do evaluate everyone I meet (not just for potential partner value).
Tbh, I’m likely to be the boring one. I’m extremely stuck in schedules and routines, to a fault sometimes
Stability is one of the main “pros” of a relationship IMO
Wait
So @anna_5588 from the looks of it you’ve been talking to this Indian guy for a while. Now you’ve offered to let him stay over at your HOUSE for a while, yet you are adament no physical contact/romanticised relationship will developed
Have you disclosed this variable to him in VERY explicit terms? “Nothing will ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever happen between us! EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER!!!”
If not, you are leading him on… a friends with (economics) benefits situation? As a guy… if I were in this situation I’d be very angry provided you hadn’t explicitly informed me of the nature of the relationship dynamic. Ditto if I was a homosexual female and thought you were gay, and I would 100% think this if I’d been talking to you, we struck up a friendship and then you invited me to travel and stay AT YOUR HOUSE… I know being autistic is tough, I’m autistic and reading social ques/interpreting context can be an absolute nightmare.
But tell me the truth, is there no part of you that thought “maybe i’m leading this guy on. Perhaps he likes me and thinks we are going to start dating. I want him for his work capacity, he’s also interested in working with me. But maybe he thinks an invitiation for cohabitation infers i’m looking for something more than friendship.”
If the answer is “yes”, my advice to you is stop using people like this
This is hardly the first time you’ve outlined a paradigm wherein a guy obviously likes you and you study and spend a lot of time with your ‘male companion’, only to distance yourself afterwards. Its a repeat pattern
In the future, explicitly outline "nothing will ever happen’'.
If a woman invited me to stay the night at hers. Let alone multiple nights do you know what I’d be thinking?
Something along the lines of “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS! 
. I’m staying with a woman in her house for multiple nights in a row who I share common interests with! What a stroke of good luck!!! Bring out the champagne!”
I’d think a romantic relationship was about to ensue. At our age (19-21) I’d also be almost certain sex would be involved because teenagers, young adults, adults and even the elderly tend to… have sex…
You don’t have to, but you need to make it explicitly clear to the man you invite over to your house that it ain’t happening… ever…
Why do you think he’d travel from india (or even just interstate) to stay at your house? Travel from India costs thousands, travel interstate typically costs 100s.
Very few are that passionate about studying… this guy could study in India… or in whatever state he’s from.
Unless the guy is homosexual, however I doubt this is the case or you would have referenced his sexual orientation.
Well, that constraint has been relaxed a bit as part of the contract
I also made very clear that he could do what ever he wanted with other girls.
Hence why I’d characterize it as “Friends with benefits” vs actual relationship
It works bc we are both on the same page with the “contractual” part.
By relaxed you’re talking about you allowing him to see other girls?
Uhh no…. I’ve let him do things with me
I know 100% that I am ace now
If a woman happens to invite me into her home, the only things I would 100% think are that she wants sex with me or sex and a relationship with me. Especially if I’m from another country. I just don’t see any other reason to invite me.
But I understand things that way, I don’t know what the traditions are in other countries and whether it’s normal … such as a woman inviting a man to live with her and he thinks it’s maybe the invitation is just because this woman is happy to communicate - to talk about politics, business, engineering, nature, music and so on 
Few questions
Was the male conventionally attractive
Do you ever find women attractive?
Its possible you are ace, however this classification is rare (albeit slightly more common amongst those on the spectrum). But some require an intimate emotional connection in order to facillitate sexual desire.
Have you ever been in love?
sort of
I find some women attractive in the same way I find a piece of art attractive
no. not in the emotional sense.
Nice way of saying no, haha.
I don’t find “conventionally attractive” attractive in the intimate sense either
I am not sure what you mean by this? Like you are not sexually attracted to conventionally attractive people like actors for example? Do you mean this like you find not conventionally attractive people more attractive? Or you don’t find anybody attractive?
I do not find anyone sexually attractive.
That is fair. I’ll say for me that would be a deal breaker in any sort of romantic relationship. I need to feel like I am attractive to my partner.
I think since you are not typical in regards to sexuality, that informing friends that may be interested would be a nice thing for you to do for them. It isn’t required, but as a guy I’d like to know something like that.
Maybe just having friends is a good path forward? Maybe you find an asexual person interested in some sort of agreement to split expenses and have similar interests with?
Did you ever get check for hormones or something?
I think intimity is a glue for relationships. I would never get a girl that is not attracted to me or wants to do it in the dark or something
At least with guys, it seems TRT enhances what is there naturally in most cases. Kinda like a 1.5X multiplier (but 0x1.5 still equals 0). It seems most of the guys that go on TRT because they have no libido, and haven’t really ever had much libido don’t get much libido from it. The guys with normal before are often above normal, and the guys who had a strong libido before often have too much libido after.
Might be different for women.